The coke is starting to ****
my brain and they
keep saying give it up
but I think it's finally
killing the pain.

I never wanted her to change
she just wanted to ride the wave
but with my mental health I'd
forgotten how to swim and
drowned somewhere along
the way.

She lives in the creases under my eyes
because every time I stare into the night
sky I can't help but think of you,
even the blinding light scolds me
with the memory of you.

I miss her long hair that always intruded the kisses we shared.

I miss her eyes that twinkled in the light as I stared into an emerald sea of hope.

I want to drown in the scent of her perfume, the same way I drowned in her love.

I miss the conversations we had, peering through the smoke where you'd try to hide your perfect smile.

I hate to admit it but I never thought goodbye meant goodbye and now - well now I just miss you and the memory of us two.

How do you forget someone you don’t want to forget?

So embedded in your head it’s like a tumour that lays in wake but it strikes you in your dreams, random thoughts throughout the day.

She’s bad for your mental health but that will never stop her from taking your heart away, in a vicious cycle of love and hate but you love her too much to hate.

As I stood staring at the multicoloured night sky even the booms of the display couldn’t get you off my mind - wishing you were here by my side.

No I’ve never been religious -
But that doesn’t stop me praying for you.