"You haven't changed" are the words I had on my mind, hanging on the tip of my tongue but I didn't voice it because I knew you'd lie and say nor have I.

I've changed in ways I never imagined, I can't bare to look at myself now because when I see my reflection, there's someone looking back at me that I don't know.

There's no hope for a fresh start and the times we had were over fast but still I reminisce in a time I often wished had lasted.

No truly you haven't changed you still have that breathtakingly beautiful face, your soul still breathes virtue, your personality is still what every girl strives to be.

Perfection doesn't ever come close to what you are, but I'm glad I'm no longer the reason for your scars. I miss you just as much as I want to kiss you again just like I did in the past, when you were my first kiss, true love and we were discussing having kids.

I wasn't perfect and I let you down a lot, but understand that you once believed perfection is what I was. Unfortunately I was not who you expected I was, and still I wish I had stopped making you cry when I was meant to be your shoulder to cry on. I hated being the reason that we needed to stop feeling what we felt because I still cry a lot.

We talk in whispered tongues, about seven words a month but you don't know how much I wish it was the three that we used to say to each other a lot.

I don't know what this is a poem, a story, I don't know it doesn't really rhyme and the words I use are basic but honestly I need to get this off my chest.

I love you still and have never stopped, it's just a shame that everything is lost.

I'm sorry about today.
I'm sorry I kept looking away.
I found it so hard to pretend,
that you weren't there.
I have so much to tell you
But I don't know how to.
I still remember of the time
when we were once each others gain,
But now I'd be surprised if you remembered my name.

I long to see you again,
I wish that one day we could make amends.

The luminosity breaks my cage of crepuscule as the vociferous symphony of the media obstruct the clang of injustice. A thousand eyes glare at Lucifer yet neglect the vision of purity as their hand points with each finger a spindle establishing a cloak made of stigma. The cloak, an item I am now constricted in, is in completion as the gates stance creates a void soaring over me to which I am absorbed - as on the other side lies the devils crooked tune whilst God strums the chords.

Their hatred sharper
Than the blade of my knife
Yet still they chose to ignore
The fact that they’re destroying me,
Situating me into oblivion.

Yet they expect forgiveness,
Whilst they reminisce
In the tragedy
They created for me.

I try to erase the events,
But blood is not lead
So I continue to scribe
Bold statements of pain,
Yet still they ignore.

They ignore
But do they adore
Seeing me shatter,
Breaking me into desolation
With no hope of revaluation,
No longer - can I be saved.

No need for a burial
Because I already weep
A watery grave.
But I ask,
Who is the weaker man?
Is it he who dies by his own hand,
Or they who abolish
The little hope that man had left.

I'm tunnelling
In a downward spiral,
Getting deeper than the
Scars you left on my heart.

Lost afloat on a raft
On an ocean of my own tears
Led by a misguided attempt.
But the blood -
It consumes me so
Yet it is so mesmerizing.

My mind,
My own personal time machine
In which I find myself trapped
In thoughts of you.
The thoughts they screech,
The noise so piercing
It's destructive.

Breakout I must.
But before I even try -
Oblivion beneath me,
As I fall.
Am I free?
These chains still hold me,
Imprison me,
My vision so fine and sharp
Yet still I am misguided.

In this raft afloat
In the ocean of my mind,
That you created.
Slowly crumbling apart
Like everything great, it falls.

But alas hope,
The light it calls!
Until I realise
My only escape
As I slowly drift away.

I reach for a thread
Ready to start again.
I look into her eyes,
Her beautiful enticing stare
As I run my fingers through her hair
Before beginning.

I grin as I pierce the first
Piece of material
The beginning,
When I first looked up
Into her eyes
Fighting for words
As my heart flew away;
The thread so entwine
Not a strand left out of place
Of this moment that
Sealed our fate.
This moment that I finally
Felt awake.

The material so bright
Reminding me that love,
Is the only magic in existence.
I look up again
To see she is nowhere to be seen,
I swivel my head
As the room bleeds,
The darkness encloses.
I reach for more material
But it’s all gone.
The thread starts to tater,
As the stiches fall apart.

I rest my head in my hands
Whipping the tears away,
Reminding myself how much
Of a privilege it was to be yours
For a moment.
But now I see your grey,
Beyond this light you would portray.

As we drift apart,
This little patchwork heart
Fuels our forgotten love.
Now to be just another antique,
Of such mystique
As I turn away
Tears running down my face
Time for my resting place.

I awake to twelve texts
And seven missed calls
I ring her swiftly
In the hope that she still breathes.
She answers,
Tears down the phone
I can barely speak
because I am drowning in my own.
I tell her to meet me
At the park where we were first seen.
She told me of her troubles
Her pain
The way she sleeps in tears,
Whilst counting down the clock.
I say we should go for a walk
She nods at me.
Why are we here?
I take her hand,
Look into her eyes
This is our destiny
I mumble as she presses her lips against mine,
For the last time.
Are you sure?
Little do I plead because
Her happiness is the key.
Yes.
I take one last look in her eyes,
We fly together
We die together.
You and I until the end.