Jamie Lee

Jamie Lee Jan 2014

With each word, I fall deeper
into this emptiness called life.
With each breathe, I suffocate,
from all that has crowded inside.

Tired long ago, yet I still stand
centered in this maddening cycle.
Broken down, this strength fades
hurt by the growing void of love.

My warnings to you have failed,
persistence, resulting in your mistake.
My weakness for love, and hope
for it in my life was mine.

I thought I had found my partner,
who will help me see this through.
Instead, I feel I have a roommate
my love, this has become you.

I could not regret the memories,
you have given me so much.
Though I do wish I was whole,
so you don't drown with me.

Silenced by fears, I can't speak
to reveal how apart we are.
My love for you remains, only now
accompanied by the pain you bring.

I have lost my only friend here,
drifting away as a distant lover.
Your absence makes me push further,
leaving me little hope in darkness.

I tell no one, as I am all alone,
I cry for every bit of me left, as
I know where this path will end.
I am losing myself once again.

Jamie Lee Nov 2013

A Timeless Battle

In the greens that brought warmth,
only the white cold remains to decorate.
Stirring from behind the window pane,
sits a woman pondering her fate.

Peering out above the world absently,
she falls into the depths of thought.
Pleading to nothing but the emptiness,
she cries for all she has fought.

It seems as though her war is endless,
being blinded by each victorious battle.
Happiness seeps further away each time,
leaving her to a maddening prattle.

Hope, begins to feel foolish to her,
yet she holds on tightly to the flame.
Even in nothing, she believes something-
that all of this must change.

Jamie Lee Nov 2013

Today

My eyes have opened,
to find that a new day is in motion.
As I roll out of comfort,
I am pulled abruptly into a state of anger-
all the result of a notification.

As sudden as sleep came the night before,
I am surging with adrenaline.
In record time,
I am awake and prepared.

Prepared for the moment that has been capturing my thoughts.

The time is now, but not as planned.
Still, it will do.

I venture my course, making way to my destination.
I am ready.
It is now or never.

Anticipation ceases as this satisfactory moment approaches,
now that I have arrived.

As I seek out the source of this nonsense,
with intent to unleash my anger,
I am quickly disappointed.
The source is not available.

Desperate for my relief, I am determined to find an outlet.
Moving down the chain- the notifier will do.

Finally, my moment is here.

She initiates the conversation,
to which I respond with silence.
My first expression of my dissatisfaction towards them.

She offers an opening and I become rude.
Immediately demanding an answer to this absurdity.
As I allow myself to be taken by the heat inside,
she becomes fearful and begins taking my moment from me.

She is ending the conversation,
though I have not said all that I have been waiting for.

This is wrong.
This is not my moment.
This was not the plan.
It was suppose to be smooth and gratifying.

Yet,
it was unexpected and displeasing.

All that time spent patiently waiting, only to have my moment stolen again by the same thieves.

Like before, I am left with nothing.
Nothing but emotions and a full plate to worry about.

This poem is quite different from my usual style. Not even sure what I have written is considered a style, however, it is suitable to my needs of expression at the moment.

Jamie Lee Sep 2013

Layers

Amidst the luscious valley,
covered in varying greens,
sits a desperate soul,
absorbing the beautiful scene.

Outlined by the mountains,
this ivory tower seems small,
yet, like most things-from outside,
you simply don't see it all.

The lonely heart that beats,
does so, with furious hope,
for these whispering voices,
make it impossible to cope.

Bearing the depths of need,
leaves an invisible scar,
through the heart of lies,
I can only see so far.

Like the clouds of winter,
judgement is thick and hazy,
even submerged in beauty,
one can still go crazy.

The power of love is,
a curse from which I suffer,
withheld is the extent of yours,
therefore making it rougher.

This is part 1 of a 3 round challenge I am taking part of on another poetry site. The goal was to use one or more prompts. I chose 4 of the 15, and they are; "the lonely heart/whispering voices/the heart of lies/the power of love"

Jamie Lee Sep 2013

My Morning Friend

The entrance is wide and clear,
leading to a massive space.
I begin to walk quickly through,
craving my daily sweet taste.

Before me, are bright lights,
displaying words and colours.
Behind me, are more people,
coming one after another.

As I approach the counter,
I am greeted like a friend.
This is my second home,
so let's not pretend.

Though different faces I see,
they are all very great.
That time has come again,
I'm here for another date.

I tell them what I want,
then I wait my turn.
If they don't know already,
soon they will learn.

My name is then called,
so I grab my drink.
Finally, with my coffee,
I can wake up and think.

Jamie Lee Sep 2013

My Soldier

In days of young and past,
he shone bright with his smile.
In those times, he knew not,
of what was to come in a while.

He was happy and curious,
as all young children are.
Though the extent of that,
followed with a permanent scar.

Being the youngest of five,
left a lot to live up to.
Each of us would pick on him,
less and less as he grew.

Still, the teasing remained,
from society and his peers.
So many long nights spent,
cold and alone, in tears.

He lives with a burden,
and grew up in neglect.
But if you were to meet him,
he's one you wouldn't forget.

He has accepted himself,
loving the person he is.
I know that he can see,
that he's one of life's gifts.

He has put aside his shame,
and embraces his style.
This tried soldier of mine,
has come many weary miles.

He has faced many challenges,
standing strong and true.
My dearest little brother,
this soldier of mine, is you.

Jamie Lee Sep 2013

An Untold Disaster

Beyond the dark, empty hollows,
dismay stirs, where the storms brew.
In the cold company of isolation,
desperation barged, savagely through.

Deaf ears listen, for unheard sounds,
while a heart searches, for unspoken signs.
Heavy thoughts, break the support inside,
as familiarity sets, one more time.

Loneliness reveals, a crumbling strength,
from red eyes, flows a river of tears.
Shattered and aching, with no comfort found,
only left to face, these growing fears.

Though hope is buried, remaining still,
serenity calls softly, from depths within.
Unsuccessful with relief, in written therapy,
the mind continues to wildly spin.

I am simply suffering from "myself syndrome" and am just over-thinking things, as I always do...