I was hell bent on being sad
Making desperate decisions
To push away the past
Thought I lost all that I had
It all started with my dad
I used to think my rebellious ways drove him to drink
Until I learned about his eleventh chromosome
It was then I knew why the sight of alcohol made his mouth foam
He’d raise his voice
Then his fist without a conscious choice
The next morning he’d be sorry
Kiss my bruises if he could
But I’d already be gone
We all knew I would
I’d be gone before he woke
With ****** friends looking for anything to smoke
Now I only smoke the ashes of my pride and the fresh potpourri of my regret
There’s a few things like this I’ll never forget
Here’s to my mother
She could never understand
Why I changed so drastically by the unwanted touch of a man
It tore us apart the way she just couldn’t see
How that man could ever take so much from me
My little sister would worry when I didn’t come home
She’d be scared each time was real
That each time I’d finally leave her alone
But what she doesn’t know is why I’d always return
I came home to see my baby sister
Because a baby is how my eyes will always see her
My sister put a smile on even when home was hell’s prison
Somehow she always felt she had to hide what’s arisen
She was always good that way
Through every heartache she’s been the strongest of four
She’s the reason why I don’t run anymore
Now and then I reminisce back to when she was three
It took so long for ignorance to pass
Took me a while to see
How I need her curious eyes to forever look up to me
Some days I lose my calm thinking whether or not she always will
As long as she does, I’ve not lost it all
In my baby sister’s eyes, I’ve got everything still

Let us write about all that we save a special place for in our head.
How about watching you die, hearing my sister cry, and seeing you lay there on that hospital bed?
God wasn’t ready for you.
You were still ours and he showed us that.
Daddy, I bet you saw Heaven before God sent you back.
It must be nice up there with God and his angels.
Why else would you want to go there for good?
Daddy, don’t you know that’d be painful?
I don’t think Mommy could take it.
She never understood a depressed soul’s thoughts.
She’d feel guilty every day.
And Lindsey, she’s strong,
But not like we say.  
Daddy what about me?
I’m battling too many demons as it is.
How could I cope with another one set free?
It will surely conquer this shallow, empty soul.
Daddy, don’t you know we’d never feel whole?
Do you know how much of me you’d ****?
A painful death of most of me,
Curable by no pill.
Daddy, please remember that the life you live includes us, too.
I want you to meet my children.
So, please daddy, what have I got to do?

You’ve grown up and out of this small town
I hope you’re loving life with that Texas heart now
You’ve played a role in my life that no one has better played
Met a lot of people, baby girl, but you’re the only one I’m certain will stay
You’ve helped me grow
You’ve seen tears that pride has never let me show
You’ve heard my heart speak
When my neck was too weak
To hold up a head
Filled with words and regrets
A certain glow abruptly left an innocent, pale face of a girl with Captain Morgan for breath
Whose mind traveled time back to a place she still aches to forget
The place of deception
Where an innocent perception had been left
You watched that glow leave
Felt my voice shake as I tried to explain my pain as I grieved
You just listened and began to grieve with me

You stretched your arm out as the fury left your fist
Slowly opened your fingers, instead of your lips
That was the first time someone didn’t tell me not to cry
You felt what I did, and this is how I know why
I’ve been told there are people we are destined to meet
Whose fingerprints will stain our soul even after they leave
I wasn’t told it was possible to share your own soul
But I didn’t need to be
Darling, you made me whole
In finding you, I found me
We're two bodies with one soul

I need to clean this slate
Whipe away the chalk trails of my mistakes
I need a clean slate

Chalk's never been so impossible to erase
It's there to stay
To send my mind to outerspace
Spelling out the things I did not say

Every word fits on this small chalk board
Spelling out the only words I chose to hoard
"I need you..."
My mind reads it like my lips have said it before

I need to clean this slate
Whipe away the chalk trails of my mistakes
I need a clean slate

Chalk's never been so impossible to erase
It's there to stay
To send my mind to outerspace
Spelling out the things I did not say

Every word fits on this deafening chalk board
Spelling out the only words I chose to hoard
"I need you..."
My mind reads it like my lips have said it before