You should know that when I get to rest my mind
I dream of lovely, crazy things, like when I called you mine
I can find our love again, every time that I find rest
Out of all the lovers I've had, I'd say you were the best
I still imagine what it'd be like
To grow old with someone like you
I remember when I truly thought I would
But seasons change and people do, too

Just know I don't regret you

Do you think your pain would fit in this bottle?
If so, baby, fill it up
'Cause look, I know you've been hurting
-- Sorry I'm not good at this stuff

I know all the words that make you smile
But I forget them when you look at me

Could you fill it up and send it back to me?
I wanna take your pain away
Don't laugh at me
Float your worries on the surface of the sea
I'll hold them for a while because I like when you're happy
Oh, I wish it was that easy
I wish you were that easy

I fall in love with you again every time I fall asleep
It's inevitable
And darling, we hardly ever speak
We don't need to.
I don't need to see you
Not your eyes or their glow
I don't need to be with you
To know that your heart is my soul's home
I don't need to hear you
I see it perfectly
I need to be near you
And I need you near me

We'll never be what we used to be
But that doesn't stop me from falling in love with you
Every time I fall asleep

If this is a game,
I can't win it
Count me out,
Take the cards
If this is a race,
I won't finish
Turn around,
this has gone too far

I think I know when enough is enough
I think I've had just enough

When I wake up in a room with an open door and a light,
I feel like I'd been read like an open book all night

I was hell bent on being sad
Making desperate decisions
To push away the past
Thought I lost all that I had
It all started with my dad
I used to think my rebellious ways drove him to drink
Until I learned about his eleventh chromosome
It was then I knew why the sight of alcohol made his mouth foam
He’d raise his voice
Then his fist without a conscious choice
The next morning he’d be sorry
Kiss my bruises if he could
But I’d already be gone
We all knew I would
I’d be gone before he woke
With ****** friends looking for anything to smoke
Now I only smoke the ashes of my pride and the fresh potpourri of my regret
There’s a few things like this I’ll never forget
Here’s to my mother
She could never understand
Why I changed so drastically by the unwanted touch of a man
It tore us apart the way she just couldn’t see
How that man could ever take so much from me
My little sister would worry when I didn’t come home
She’d be scared each time was real
That each time I’d finally leave her alone
But what she doesn’t know is why I’d always return
I came home to see my baby sister
Because a baby is how my eyes will always see her
My sister put a smile on even when home was hell’s prison
Somehow she always felt she had to hide what’s arisen
She was always good that way
Through every heartache she’s been the strongest of four
She’s the reason why I don’t run anymore
Now and then I reminisce back to when she was three
It took so long for ignorance to pass
Took me a while to see
How I need her curious eyes to forever look up to me
Some days I lose my calm thinking whether or not she always will
As long as she does, I’ve not lost it all
In my baby sister’s eyes, I’ve got everything still

Night time is the worst
We're supposed to go to bed like it doesn't hurt
Like this type of pain can't keep us awake
Like we didn't lose our dad
And our hearts didn't break
Like we aren't broken or open
Or searching for comfort each night
Like we don't go to bed hoping
We'll wake up from this life

They delivered bad luck rather than handing candy out this year
And our address was first on the list
All these shots to the chest are starting to collect
These are the kind of demons you can't fight with your fist

You never think it can happen to you until it happens
but it happens so fast, there's no way they could warn you
And it's never the good things we look back on, but the bad things
We can talk about the memories with love but you know it's the evil things that haunt you, too

Lately I can't write because it hurts too much
It's like rubbing an open wound but there is no cut
No pain you can see with your eyes,
But I promise you I'm hurting
This smile's just a disguise

Is it working?
Am I trying hard enough?
Have I convinced you, too, that I am tough enough?
Have I filled my actions with strength or words with ease?
Can you see what this ****'s done to me?
I'm trying not to let you see what this has done to me.