A writer isn't a writer without something to write about
I've got nothing to write about
I've been breaking my bones trying to figure it out
A word, a phrase
It all feels delayed
My fingers used to write
Something beautiful to type
They used to just move
And that is just what they should do
What is wrong with me?
Why is this so hard?
I'm running,
and running
Getting no where far
I'm running,
and running
Getting no where
I'm writing
and I'm writing
Still no where
How can this be so hard?

Can't write tonight
Stare at the words
Turn up the light
I can see
But I can't write tonight
There's words on a page
Blue lines and liquid rage
How come I see these words
But I can't write tonight?

I wanna scream and shout
Because I just can't spell it out
I can scream
But I can't write tonight
How come I scream
Because I can't write tonight?

My chest feels sunken in and heavy
Right where I keep my thoughts when they're not ready
It makes me nervous
That I can't write tonight
Why don't I think
That I can write tonight?

It's either depression or suppression
They give me pills without a question
I'm telling you,
I just need to write tonight
I'll be ok
If I can just write tonight

I had nightmares for months
Woke up in cold sweats with empty lungs
Started screaming in my sleep
'Cause I just couldn't scream enough
But I wasn't the only one

Daddy used to wake up confused
He'd been hitting the walls
Been feeling the abuse
I wasn't the only one hurt
Oh god, I wasn't the only one
Or anywhere close

He was like the first time my ears ever perceived a perfect song
I put it on repeat and never got it wrong
His lips moved towards mine and I never fought it
He threw his heart at me once and I should've caught it
His teeth and our lives were so out of line
Yet every time he smiled everything was fine
I would've kept him forever
But I couldn't make him mine

I write too much.
I think I write too much.
I think I think too much.
I think I write too much cause I think too much.
And I think I write too much about thinking too much.
I think I think too much about thinking too much
And writing too much that I just don't know what to think.
I think I'm gonna think myself dead.


.....I think