i am realizing

how our time is fleeting
our days are ending
we are all dying

but i am realizing

that our time is not real
our days never were
only bodies die

i am recognizing

how we feel so physical
our trust is in the tangible
which turns to dust

but i am recognizing

that the physical is an illusion
the tangible is not real
and we are simply souls

     trapped in a matrix
     soon to be freed

you can say you love me
but it will pass through my heart like wind

you can stroke my flushed cheeks and say
"beautiful"

but i won't recognize my own face

and every time i don't believe you
i need you to tell me again

it doesn't stick, nothing sticks

i'm not falling apart
i've just never been put together

you're not the first that's tried
you're not the first that's failed

I'll *******,
If you want.
Cause I want it
Just as bad as you do.
But I also want to hear the rustle of the sheets
When you turn over in the middle of the night.
I want to feel your hot breath on my neck.
I want the stubble on your chin to graze my cheek
As you kiss me gently on the forehead.
And when I whisper "goodnight," you don't have to reply.
Just nudge me with your knee
Or poke me with your elbow.

I'm burning,
And I'm black in my lungs,
Dont you know it feels good with fire back on you tongue?
I thought I could stop.
Apparently not.
I love it.
I love the burn.
I want the burn.
I need the burn.

I surely love to talk
And am seldom lost for words
I even talk in my sleep

But I want to listen more
With my two ears
Outnumbering my one mouth

I want to get the fullness of
What one is saying
And regard those words as just as important

As mine

And most of all
I want to hear God's voice
In the stillness of my life

Turning off the music more
The computer and television
The constant distractions

For God speaks to our hearts
Often in the silence of the day
And I don't want to miss

Those moments