The sun is setting and I am weary. The night is setting in and it is becoming cooler. I am not sure how long I can hold out, I can only kneel and pray. I cannot predict tomorrow, I can only hope for one more day. Perhaps something new will come to pass and things will really change. I will know until the sun comes up so I must hope for one more day. I lay silently looking at the shadows being cast by the street lights outside. I feel restless, but still I am hoping for a better way. Perhaps tomorrow I will receive my miracle, perhaps if I have just one more day.

Only one more day, that is what is written on the wall. Everyday is one more day. The halls smell like bleach and the lights hum and buzz. A pail yellow shadow is cast by them. Its about as artificial as life can get, but then I was living in an illusion anyway. I keep looking at the sign, one more day it says. It is about all I get to read. Until I improve, I am restricted, I can't even see the news. The first week was the hardest, it was like going through hell. Withdrawal eats you up inside and saps all of your strength, not that you have any left anyway. I like to think I am getting stronger, but in truth I am not. I just want to get lost again so I don't have to face my life. Two weeks in and there is that dam sign. I am not sure if I can take it one more day.

A life may seem to be a singular thing, on a fixed path. The truth is that no life is singular and we are never on just one road. Whether we isolate ourselves or interact frequently with people, we are always affecting the world around us. We walk on a road of career and one of family. We walk in pursuit of knowledge and of personal gain. We walk on a road of indifference or a road of caring. We travel many of these unknowingly. In the end all things we do take us in many directions and on many roads. The road we travel is just one of many we shall walk upon in  our lives.

Life is a puzzle that we have to put together. The pieces do not always fit the way they think they should. One part seems to go one way, then a different piece comes from somewhere else to take it's place. Try as we might, we cannot figure out the whole picture. Only in bits and pieces do we get to put a life together. Sometimes we must take the puzzle apart and try to fit the pieces together again. The only thing of which we can be sure, is that we can only put life's puzzle together one piece at a time.

When life falls apart and things seem at an end, pick up the fragments and begin to rebuild them. Glue them together with patients and kindness. Use love and hope to mend the seams. Pulling in a part here and smoothing out a wrinkle there until a picture begins to form. One piece at a time, life is made whole from broken pieces that were left lying around.

To show you my love I offer you a rose a flower beyond compare. I offer only a single rose, a special rose very precious and rare. This rose was planted in a garden so many years ago, it was set among the thorns and it was thought that it would not bloom, but despite all of the things that tried to stifle it's growth, the rose took root and sprang forth to blossom in eternal beauty. So I offer this rose to anyone who will accept it, a single flower of beauty so rare. It was taken from the land of Sharon and cost nothing to give. All you need do is accept it and you may give it to another. So when my time has come and I live my last day, remember I will require no other flowers from you, for I have an eternal rose from Sharon and that one rose will do.

Standing in the street face to face with my brother, another person who I did not know. Holding the upper hand with my finger on the trigger. Trying to make it the only way I know, the split second made the difference for the rest of my life. One movement and then pop, the sound of thunder and lightning issuing from my clenched fist, holding taught around the grip of the gun. Like a slow motion sliver streak, the bullet hit it's mark. Tearing into the person who under the skin is my human brother. Down he fell into the gutter, another lost soul claimed as a victim of the drug trade. I hesitated for a moment, then grabbed what was mine and ran. Never looking back, only seeing the thing on T.V. ! Again and again it was played out until it became surreal. Trembling I sat in the dark like a rat trapped in a cage. The images of the look on his face frozen in my mind. The grainy images of the surveillance camera did not tell the whole tale. Details were left out so that the story that they wanted to tell could be written. A split second later and the tables would have been turned, my brother who was desperate had a gun too. If he had been quicker, then I would have been laying in the street. With no clues as to who did the deed, all they can say is it is another tragedy. What they do not know is who did this terrible thing. What they cannot realize is that all things have changed. A gun a split second and one shot changed it all for me and for the guy that is my brother under skin, who wanted to do to me what I had to do to him.

Into a blizzard with blinding snow. Ice covered the roads and the wind was bitter cold. Into the unknown holding onto faith and hope. In the distance between there and nowhere, a distant shadow walking lost in the night. Faint moon light shimmers between the dancing snowflakes as I return to check again. Not knowing what I will find, is it an enemy or a friend. For what divine purpose, perhaps I will never know. I only know I have been called to pull a wandering soul from the snow. Half frozen and desperate to get back home, I was called to be the hands of God and return a wanderer safely back to where they had been. I know not what happened to that imperiled soul beyond that night. I only know that I did that which was right. I can only hope that the gift or rescue I gave in the fathers name, will be passed on by the soul I helped to another who is in need.

Ice covers the earth and I slip and fall. I slide quiet a distance and knock you over. Packages go everywhere and you are mad at me, then I see your sparking eyes and I cannot breathe. As you fuss at me, I am mesmerized. I mindlessly pick up your packages and sheepishly smile. All of a sudden you stop and begin to rub my nose, it turns out I spill my hot chocolate all over my face and clothes. You exclaim that I am quiet the mess, I don't even notice as I still can't catch my breath. I stand up and hand your packages and I find the strength to ask your name and on that one winter's day, my life forever changed.

The Autum leaves are falling as I watch the children play, I hear their joyful laughter and I have to turn away. for a moment of sweet pleasure becomes a heart filled with pain as I slowly remember one year ago today.
One year ago today I looked into your eyes. You said it was over, then you said goodbye.
I saw an end to our perfect love as you left me dying inside. I cried as you were leaving and still you went away and left me with a broke heart one year ago today.
I sit in our empty bedroom and look at our pictures sitting on a dusty shelf. I try to remember how happy we were before you went away, before you left me crying one year ago today.
I pull myself together like every other day. I wipe away the tears that run down my face. I put your memory away. and in my heart I pray that time will heal my pain that doesn't seem to go away, the pain of your leaving me, one year ago today.

On the road we travel there will be bumps and detours. In all things be persistent. Seek knowledge and covet wisdom. Use these treasures to help others and as a road map to life. At the end of the journey take stock of whay you have done. With hope that you have given more than you have taken out of life.

I look outside to see if there are clouds. I wait until the sky is dark and the wind is blowing swift. I listen for the distant thunder to know the time is right. I step out into the cold breeze and wait until the drops begin to fall. Then only when it rains do I cry because you are gone. Only when it rains so no one can see my tears. Only when it rains so the cold can numb my pain. It is the time I can forget you  and feel whole again. It is when I can feel sorrow for what is lost, only when it rains.

Upon the dark earth I have laid the foundation of my family. My roots lie deep beneath the land of my fathers. In a place where the great Eagle flies and the tall Pine grows, this is where I call my home. What exist around me is a part of who I am. My spirit is free like the wind or the White Tail deer. I know rivers and streams like my own inner soul. I find joy in climbing the eternal mountains that have stood watch since time was. From sunrise to sunset I roam over the hills and valleys. I take only what I need to live. I brought nothing into this world when I became part of it and I shall taken nothing when I leave. I must only be a part of what exist and become one with all things and myself as I journey through this world on my way to new places and wonders that I have yet to understand.

My life is not what it should have been. I am not where I thought I would be. The things I longed for have not been mine and often seem out of my reach. I have tried to follow a program, but often I deviate from the plan. What others think is for me, I often find too constricting. I have lived for the moment and planned for tomorrow. In both counts, things don't always work out. I have tried to live on a path, but I sometimes just sit down and wait. Not knowing why I am doing what I am or where I should go next. Now at a crossroads, I must again pick a direction. Again another confusing decision on a time line that I just can't seem to stay with.

When I enter through the gates of Pearl and walk upon streets of God, I will no more have any sorrow. I will see the wonders of Heaven and behold the angels band. I will see the ageless saints and Son of Man. Around the throne of eternity where the lamb shall reign, I will join the redeemed in singing his praises with no end. Despite all of the wonder and the streets made of Gold, it is their maker that I cannot wait to behold.

Crisp leaves crackle beneath my feet. I walk barefoot on the cool earth and look at the Birds flying under the Umbrella of the sky. I think I know where I am, but I am not truly sure. I think I will ask the next Unicorn I see. I was in the land of reality a few miles back, but I took a wrong turn I think. For now it doesn't matter, I just want to watch the birds and see if one will hit the arch of the sky and fall to the earth. All the while my cares have gone as I walk along with a ****** who seems to have taken a fancy to my wooden leg. Who knew the day could be so interesting, yes I see the boundaries. I see the separation line as at last I have found the border of insanity and I think I will step over just for a bit.

On the cross Christ bled for me. On the cross he set the captive free. On the cross he showed the manifestation of Gods love. On the cross, God became man. On the cross sin made it's final stand. On the cross, Christ broke Satan's bands. On the cross he died alone. On the cross he inherited a heavenly throne. On the cross was God's only son. On the cross the fathers will was done.

Mushrooms talk to me when I lay in my back yard. Ducks stop by to say hello. I often forget some of my clothes when I go out to drink. My last girlfriend said I was too out there. So I wander between what is loosely defined as reality and the world that is normal to me. I really don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to live like me. So I step across societies line and have a little too much fun. Walking on the dark side of life keeps things interesting, give it a try sometime.

Needles laid out on the counter, knives sharpened and clean. Each day feels like I am living in a dream of pain that will not end. Life hurts so much, I just want to lay down and not get up. I can see the destiny in front of me. The question is just how do I get there? I can inject myself with too much happiness or perhaps cut myself again. Just a little deeper this time and a little closer to the vein. I feel like I am walking on the ledge of a tall building and life is the cold wind pushing me. I try to hold onto reality, but my grip is slipping fast. I don't know how much longer living on the edge can last.

The shadows are following me, I am sure it is them. I see the trees moving to surround me, I should stay away from them. I lock myself in my room, because I think it is safe. I keep looking under the bed to make sure, that no one is laying in wait for me. Most days I can only have a conversation with myself. I am not sure why that is, perhaps I am the only one who understands me. I change my clothes at least 3 times a day, my shoes almost never match what I want to wear. Perhaps I have gone over the edge already, or perhaps I am almost there. I am not sure which way I will lean tomorrow, it will depend on which way the sun chooses to rise. Beyond that, I think me and the voices will be just fine.

Walking on a wire with unicorns, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Drinking the pink lemonade despite what others think. Looking at myself in the mirror and liking the reflection better than myself. Taking chances with total strangers in hopes that they are friends I haven't met yet. Stepping into the unknown in hopes of finding a hidden treasure. Questioning the reality in which I live, then doubling down on the fact that Elves and Fairies are real. Such is living on the edge of sanity.

As the clock draws close to midnight, I take one final drink. I step outside and look up into the heavens. I stare into the night sky and I come to understand how small my problems really are, I feel so foolish about myself. I want to hold on to worry, but it slips away. I have come to realize that there is a constant change. With great reluctance, I close my eyes and listen to the world around me and take into consideration the vastness of life. In this moment, as the clock approaches midnight and a new day is set to come, I try to be positive about the possibilities that lay before me. So it is at this time I lay down my burdens and stand on the edge of a new day filled with hope yet unrealized.

On the first, the world was forever changed. On the first day, God exalted his name. On the first day all things were made new. On the first day of salvation, eternal life was offered to me and you. On the first day the stone was rolled away. On the first day Christ rose from the grave.

The world had grown dark and silent. For three days all was still. The end had come swiftly, quicker than anyone would have believed it would. From teacher to criminal to death all in a space of one day. There was weeping and fear the day that they took the master away. The followers were scattered and hid in terror behind closed doors. What would become of them was the thought, where would we go from here. Then on the first day of the week, to all who saw it they were amazed. The sealed and guarded tomb was empty, it appeared that he had been taken away. Confusion was rampant among many, his followers and the guards at the tomb were in dismay. Then he appeared at the break of morning, he had come back to show them a new way. The light had dawned on salvation, as darkness finally had to give way. Sin had lost the final battle and righteousness had finally found a way. Redemption was finally realized, all on that very first day.

The North star has been true and the trade winds have been a friend. I set my ship towards the west and listen for the ringing bell that marks the way home. The lights of land are not far now and I am weary. The sea is a good friend, but your arms are what I long for. The laughter of children and a place to lay my burdens down lingers in my mind. So as the moon goes low and the sun comes up on the eastern horizon, I look for the inlet that will lead to safe harbor. I come home now to my love, racing on the morning tide to see my home again.

Before the sun comes up I begin to stir. Looking forward to the day to come. I load into a plane for what others call insane. I live to risk my life for one more taste of freedom. From heights that would challenge even an Eagle, I wait for the moment to come. Then when the door opens, I take a leap and I am gone. Into the morning twilight as the sun breaks the horizon, I feel the cold wind rush through my clothes as it burns my face. Soaring like a rocket bound for the earth below, I spread my wings to take flight and I let all of my inhibitions go. Rushing hear and there, I am lifted to heavens height. For a few stolen moments, I believe that I can touch the sky. In a life that most fear to live, I don't even give failure a second though, while living on a razors edge, going where others will not dare.

Sitting on a sand bar watching the muddy water flow by, I look at the fishing cane growing on the opposite shore. I dig in the sand and find an arrow head, shiny as the day it was made. I look at the muddy bank and see smoke from a distant field. I close my eyes and I can hear the chants of the Cherokee. I look up the river and see a canoe coming down, the Creek in a hunting party are floating by. I sit on hallowed ground and hold the arrow head in my hand. I imagine where it has been and who made it. I can see the images clearly in my mind, just as if I were standing there in the hunting camp. A cold wind blows over me and I hear the water crash on some rocks. I return to the sand bar and feel a solemn peace as I watch the river flow by.

As dawn broke over the barren landscape, the earth rumbled and shook. Stones cracked and shattered as the path to hell was opened. From the depths of the darkness a bright light did shine forth. On the third day his journey done, our savior returned to earth. He came to bear witness that the victory had been won. He came to show that the fathers will had been done. In glorious triumph holding the keys to death, hell and the grave. He rose on the third day and reconciled man to God.

On this piece of ground, I have found my rest. In this hallowed place, I am now at peace. Under the stars and stripes I was brought home. Now I lay quietly, for my battles are done. So when you pass by, don't be mad if I don't say hello. I am at rest so that you may be free. I am laying quietly waiting for others to join me, on this piece of ground.

The climb was long and difficult, but I finally found the peak. Now I stand on the edge of the precipice looking out into the horizon. I am not sure how long I will stand here in silence and watch the snow drift by me? My only company is a few lonesome pines and a snow owl that seems disinterested in me. It took so long to get here but now something tells me to move on. Part of me does not want to travel anymore but I know I must continue. In the distance I see another peak and I know the journey will be long, but with each mountain that I climb I am getting closer to understanding the answers that I have sought for so long.

I tear at the flesh and cut the skin away. I pull out my life's blood and let it drip on to a page. I pour my being into the words I speak. I let that which lives in me give rise to imagination. I bear my soul to the paper and pierce my arm with the quill. I let the blood become my ink and let the pen do it's will. Putting the essence of myself into each word and phrase. I give from my beating heart that which courses through my veins.

Take down the barriers to your love. Remove the shackles of past loss. Let me heal the scars of that which was broken. Come and let me be make you a part of me. Feel my soft touch and gentle kisses. Succumb to my strong embrace and the warmth of my passion. Know that I will not hurt you. Know only that I love you. Release yourself and know caring again. Please open your heart to me.

Open your mind to endless possibilities. Challenge the things you believe. Listen to another argument than your own. Learn new things and do not be set in your ways.

They may not show their wings or walk around with glowing halos, but that does not diminish their work. People who walk among us everyday going about their normal business, but who affect the lives of others in the most extraordinary ways. It may only be a word of kindness to someone who has lost all hope, or a handkerchief to someone who needs to blow their nose. They may give a few dollars to someone who is in need or perhaps they will give their time to teach a child to read. From preparing a meal for a stranger, to helping out a neighbor or friend, the miracles are miraculous if you could truly see their end. Each person who lends a helping hand, sends kindness and hope along the way. These ordinary Angels who walk among us, working not for fame or glory, but simply seeking to make the world a better place.

Instant coffee, instant video, on demand shows. Paper cups, paper plates, plastic this and cardboard that. Things that are just wasted and discarded. Throw away phones that end up in third world countries polluting their soil and water so that the children can eek out a meager living amongst the fumes and poisons. When did we loose the value of something. When did an heirloom become a bad thing. In our disposable world that we live in. Even life seems to have lost some of it's value as people have become a commodity and are easily thrown away.

If we could open up and show what we keep inside, would others like what we would show them? Beyond our false pretenses and fake smiles, what would the world really see? Would all of our frailties be exposed and make us look weak, or would we become more human? Would the ugly and hateful self we hide in the shadows of our heart appear and repulse those who call us friend? Would the world embrace what we truly are or would it shun each of us as it saw a reflection of itself? No one can predict what would happen if our true selves came out. All that we can say for sure is that the world would be a different place than the one we create for others to see.

Living beyond the fringes of what people say is normal. Riding outside in the open spaces. On thundering horses with hooves of steel. Whether it be on a western prairie or a wide highway! They live by their own code and do what they feel. Now wanting to answer to anyone or anything. By the knife or the gun is how they are judged. They live for the moment and give no heed to tomorrow. On a razors edge they walk, images larger than life that are both admired and feared. Admired for what they may become, a legend in their own time and feared for what they might do if you look at them the wrong way. They are the outlaws and they live in a place where few dare to go, blazing their own path never knowing what their end might be!

Stand clear and be aware, I will no longer just sit and wait. My cocoon has been around me for way to long. I am going to spread my wings and try out new freedom. I am tired of being a wall flower, I am going to blossom and grow. With determined spirit that has been pent up too long, I will forge my own path and write my own song. So prepare yourself and know this well, I am ready for adventure, because I am coming out of my shell.

Into the abyss I go, caught up in the moment. Into a fantasy of a thousand dangers, I jump into the night. Sailing beneath the stars in silences, I am sheathed in the wind as I fall from heaven to the earth below. In sparse light drawn to my eyes by glasses filled with magic, I see others like me dangling from fragile strings as we plunge into harms way. In a mere few moments, I settle down with my feet planted firmly on the earth. Like a being from another world I slip into the darkness, looking at the strange and alien land before me. Joining up with my near kin, we plunge forward into hidden danger. While others sleep, we walk in the night. We are watchers , protectors, soldiers going over the edge in a euphoric rush of silence to what ever threat lies ahead.

I run up to the cliff and look over on my tip toes. I stare into the abyss and wonder how deep it goes. Time and again I play this game, each time the end is the same. For once I think I will give it a go. I will jump into the unknown if only just for show. I am not sure where I will land. I am not sure if there is even a bottom. I would use a parachute, but that would take all of the fun out of the game. So over the edge I go I wonder what is waiting at the end?

What some call torture I call Nirvana. What others see as depraved, I see as enlightening. With each lash of the whip, I am more sober. With each turn of a ***** I am better for it. As the voltages is cranked, my focus becomes ever clearer. What to some is agony, to me it is ecstasy. I make no apologizes for what I need to feel. I do not make known what keeps me alive. In secret places and in seclusion I seek solace. With whom I share my desires is of no ones concern. Just know that to be what others call normal, I need pain to set me free of my demons.

It doesn't take an ancient hero like Hercules or Sampson to do great feats of courage and kindness. It only takes some one who is willing to give up a few moments of their time. So while a divine power may determine the fate of the universe, a mortal person can change the fate of another and fend off despair and disillusionment by simply passing a little kindness.

Two bodies entwined in the throws of each other. Arms and legs tangled together. Sweat pouring off of the heat coming from two lovers. One spirit shared as two souls join. Love is exchanged for lust as each takes pleasure from the other. Sheets slide and crumple up as they reach the height of ecstasy! Each immersed in the others passion.

Running so fast that my heart feels as if it will burst from my chest. I sweep into your arms holding on to you as if I have been seperated from you for a thousand years. I wrap myself in your essence and close my eyes as I feel every movement of your body. I listen to your breathing as you caress me and whisper to me of your love. In a single momemt I am taken from my worldly cares as I am lost in the pasionate embraceo your love.

The room is on fire as we ignite the night. Our hot bodies course together like the waves crashing against the rocks of a distant and forgotten sea shore. Writing like a tree in the storm, we embrace and let our passions burn. You are inside of me body and soul as I give my life back to you. Give and take into one another's eyes we stare. Deep into our souls we open the doors to let life have a chance. One gives and one takes but both are giving something. Biting and clawing our way through our ****** entanglement, until the moment we reach Nirvana, then return to ourselves covered in the sweat of raw ****** energy. Each of us exhausted from the giving of a part of ourselves in both the physical and spiritual as we seek to go into each other as deep as we can so that we can make something beautiful by planting a seed that will grow and bear fruit. As passion becomes pain and then life and love.

Unable to forget your scent, longing for your touch. Desiring to hear your laughter, my heart melts that I am away from you. To not see you for one moment is unbearable. I long so to hold you close to me. Your warmth is like the noonday sun. I miss the beauty of your  smile. Your lust for life, makes me want to be with you even more. I am passions slave when it come to you.

The chess board is not square it is round. The pieces do not all look the same. The kings and queens change erratically and the game is not always fair. Pieces do not conform to strategic norms and many are often sacrificed for what is foolishness. Few are the knights and many are the castles and bishops that block the path of the pawns. The castles hold power and watch as kings and queens fall, while the bishops spew false hope and tell lies that they think the unwashed masses want to hear. Piece by piece the game unravels as the world falls into disarray. Hope is a commodity that is in short supply as I one of the pawns struggles to climb up the rung of the ladder, only to get knocked back two spaces. How cruel is the game and how unfair is life, if only we could have a equal playing field.

I look at the Peach blossom dancing fragrantly in the sun. I smell it's sweet nectar and cannot wait for it to fade, bringing forth delicious, golden and red fruit. Though I will feel saddened when the blossoms fade, my sorry will not last to long, once the trees are fully ripe with Peaches that I love to eat so much.

If an oyster was so wise, then it would not have it's treasure stolen from right out of it's mouth.

I close my eyes and clear my mind. I let my spirit rise and venture beyond the mortal shell that holds me. I look into the darkness and see the shadows of the world beyond where my soul dwells. I watch them dance and flow along life lines. I look into the heavens and see the celestial bodies as they move in synchronous alignment. I listen to the songs of the ethos as sounds mingle with voices from other worldly places. I allow my mind to be opened to the impossible, as I move forward peering beyond the veil.