I walk in the cool of a fall day. I am filled with unnatural warmth as I watch children dance and play. As they dance to and froe through piles of colorful leaves. I have to keep looking over to make sure you didn't leave. Even though I feel the softness and warmth of your hand. It seems so faint to me, missing you would be more than I could stand. Since the first time I saw your angelic smile, I have lost my heart. You took it from me from the very start. Now with each moment I come to realize, just how empty my life was before you were by my side. I am lost in the felling of your love that I now hold deep inside. I can see our future every time I gaze into your eyes. I see years passing with a family and you and I turning old and grey. I know that I am not imaging it, it is as real as a sunny day. So I will hold on tightly to you and thank the stars above, that the fates decreed that I should be given an angle to love.

We see each other every morning, but you only smile and pass me by. The scent of you takes my breath away, I cannot find the words to just say hi. I want you to see me, but you look right through me. I try to look nice when I know that I will see you, but you don't seem to notice me at all. No matter what I see to do, I must accept that I am invisible to you.

I have a neighbor that needs help. I write a great many poems but many are about how we can help each other. If anyone would like to give just 5 dollars you can find the fund raiser at facebook under the name of James Vined. I know the site got a typeo and won't fix it readily. Thanks

My soul is lain bare, my secrets are revealed. I have nothing more to hide. I confess my sins and my love for you. I am an open book, if you care to read my heart. Emotions are ever present and nothing clothes me. My facade has been washed away by the truth of love. No more am I hiding beneath a pretense of lies. I cannot hide from the eyes of love anymore. Your gaze pierces my veil and my armor. My heart is yours to plunder. All of the hidden things I have kept inside are made known. Let it be proclaimed from the house tops and let the world be placed on notice. I am bare, I am naked before your love and I care not who sees it.

Emotionally wounded, but not bereft of compassion. Tired but not defeated. I have seen the setbacks come and have walked through the drudgery of life. Things are not always clear and the path can sometimes be mired down with problems. Despite the afflictions, I know that there is always hope. For when I am at my lowest, I seek to pass on kindness to another. In doing so I restore hope to myself and prove that I am still human and that I am not empty as one might think.

I have on two different socks and my shoes don't match. I left my coffee cup on top of my car and I can't get to work on time for a month. My boss wants to give me a drug test, my mother thinks I am sick. My coworkers are not sure what the problem is. I fumble in my speech and I day dream a lot. I must admit, I have thought that I am coming down with something myself. Then the clock rolls to 5 pm and my sanity returns. I am focused and alert, for I have a pressing engagement that I must attend to. Moving through traffic like some futuristic machine, I make it home in record time. There to find a wonderful girl waiting for me. The truth be told, I am not mad I am just in love.

The alarm clock rings way too early or way too late depending on your point of view. Toys strewn about the house make an obstacle course and my things are all over the place. Blindly I stumble towards one of many cups of coffee, only to find the *** is bitterly cold. I sit on a cold thankless chair as I wait for the black nectar to brew. I hear screams coming from the bathroom, I am not sure if they are yells of delight or terror. I would take a vacation, but then who would solve the problems I would leave behind. I am sure that there is help here somewhere, I just have to get him awake. I do not live a life, I live in a puzzle box. As life is on most mornings, I am not together.

My 8 track tape is now a museum piece, **** carpet is a health hazard now. No one knows what disco is, and bell bottoms are back in style. Life revolves in a circle. Some things that were old are new. Once I could read the album print, not I need glasses to see the news. I have slowed down as of late, a trampoline is an enemy of the state. If I am not 30 minutes early, then I consider myself to be late. Everyone is driving too fast, and music is now too loud. I'm not sure what blue tooth is, I think I will ask my doctor the next time my yearly check up comes around. I hear about mp3 but I am not sure what movie rating that is. Jokes I still think are funny, just annoy and embarrass  my grand kids. Loafers are fashionable and I don't have to bend over and tie my shoes. Elastic in my pants is welcome when ever I want to breathe. I seldom have time to watch t.v. since I spend all day watching what I  eat. I have come to a fore drawn conclusion that I must admit, I am old I think.

I am obscene, I am force and I am cowardice. I prey on the weak and the strong. I hide behind an illusion until I reveal my true face. I take what I desire and leave emptiness behind. I am empty unless I force others to sacrifice to satiate my lust. I am not always ******, but I can always be found hiding in plain sight. I take many forms and I am not always alone. My true face can be that of one person or that of many, depending on what the need is that must be filled. I know few limits and I will project my lust and pain onto what ever or whom ever I desire in order to feed my hunger. There is no rhyme or reason to what I am, I simply exist, to prey on others in order to hide my own weakness and lack of self control. I am ****.

In heels that click as I walk, and legs that are firm and long. In a dress that is cut up to my well tanned thighs. I prowl looking for my next lover, perhaps you will catch my eye. My breast heave out of my top, just enough to give you a taste of what you might enjoy, if you play your cards right. My lips are painted just right, not too dark or not too bright. Unless I change my mood, then you will know what is on my mind. If they are bright red, then I am passionate, if they are dark black then I am showing my bad side. You know you want to feel my nails across your back as you look into my deep blue eyes. If you beg enough, I just might let you inside. I am a woman with many layers, I can be a blond or a redhead if you like. I will make you feel like a man, or break the little boy hide inside inside. So when you think you are chasing me, you will be in for a surprise. By the time you realize that I am hunting you, my trap will be sprung and you will be mine.

When I fight back you call me a *****. When I stand on my own two feet, you say I am a feminist. If I say I am ok, you think I am in denial. If I ask to be treated as an equal, you just politely smile and laugh. Who I am does not define my self worth. What I am capable of is not defined by my gender. I am placed into a box and  overly stereotyped.  I can be both strong and smart and still have emotions. I can be caring and sensitive and still be successful. I am not what you think I should be. I will not be told what I am because I am strong!

I awake before the sun is up and work until my bones ache. I hone my mind to a razors edge , then sharpen it again. Every movement and muscle must be perfect. Every line has to be graceful and correct. My memory of the steps must be flawless. With each drop of sweat and each sore place, I learn the way of my craft. As a dancer, I am taking shape.

Looking inside myself to find a melody. Pulling out a part of me and putting it on paper. Weaving the part of my soul into harmony. Giving of myself to bring life to the song. My blood and sweat go into the music. A part of me is taken when the tune is played. I hear my own voices speak through the melody. I have let others see the most intimate parts of me.

The embodiment of what was written, my life shall be every page. The word of our God that was given, all of man kind to save. Made flesh and walking among us, he passed on the light to you and I. It is for each of us to live as close as we can to the life of Christ.

You pass by me each day, you don't notice me. I walk among the crowded streets, but I am invisible. I want to be noticed sometimes, but others I want to be left alone. When the wrong person pays attention, they don't understand me. I just want to fit in. I am different they say, I just think I am normal for me. I am the homeless, the hopeless, the mentally ill. I just want a place to fit in. I just want to stop being unseen.

One night in deep and earnest prayer, I asked God for a wish and he asked what it would be. I wished that God would help someone for me. I woke the next morning and stepped out of bed to find a hammer and nails laying by my shoes. I saw them and I was quiet confused. Then I heard a knock on  my door. I went to see who it was. My neighbor came by and told a horrible tale, of how a tree limb had cause her roof to fail. I said let me see what I can do. I picked up the hammer and nails and put on my shoes. I went up and in no time at all, the roof was fixed. She thanked me and I went on my way. When night fell once again, I again began to pray, I asked God who did you help today. He replied to me that I helped you, with a hammer and nails, I saw that it was true. I gave you what you needed to be my hands and feet and together we helped someone in need. With this in mind I will remember to be careful when asking God for a wish.

I sit in the judgement seat awaiting my fate. I thought I could get away with it, but I was wrong. I didn't mean for it to happen, it seemed funny at the time. I didn't think the cat would really mind. Just a few pieces of tape on the little cats paws. I didn't think it would be that bad, now I wish I had used the dog. When the little cat was let loose he had a panic attack. He rolled and flopped trying to get it off and then I heard it go crash. Into the china cabinet, as he was headed for the door. I tried to catch it before it hit the floor. My mothers favorite china, a giant serving plate. Now I sit here waiting for my fate. I begged for here to punish me, but she said oh that will never do. I want this to be a family affair, I want your father here too.

The metal bars and concrete that surround me are not what confines me. It is the legacy of pain and misery that I left behind me. A place to sleep is all the same from one day to the next. Life and death come to all who exist. The streets were my school house, but the education did little to prepare me. I never could have imagined the reality of what would haunt me. Images of friends lying in their own blood, children who have no parents because of the drugs I sold. All of this is my prison, I take it everywhere with me. The ghost of my past life always haunt me. They surround me more than any guard or steel bars could you see. These are shackles of my own making. They are the result of my grim undertakings. All for a few dollars and a life I thought I wanted. Now the cost is too high for me to pay and by the broken lives I am taunted. I sit here every night and listen to the echoes of silence. In my head it is a continual song of violence. I can't shake the chains of my own making. I built my own prison with in myself by the path that I have taken.

I can hear your cries for pity, I can hear your pleas for mercy. I hear your voice and I cry for you. I can hear your sorrow and broken heart as it cracks into. I can hear your suffering from so far away. I can hear your hopelessness. I can hear your want for a better life. I can hear all of these things, and I will try to give you a voice. I can hear you.

We look but we do not see, what is in front of us. We walk through life with narrow vision, and we do not see the worth in others that are not like us. We cannot view other people as more than they are, we are blind to new ideas and yet we have perfect sight. Our own ignorance gets in the way of our seeing many evident truths. Our intolerance causes us to walk as a blind man in broad daylight. Try as we might we cannot pluck the obstruction from our soul that causes to be judgmental of others.

When others turn away, I will look to you. When you are written off, I will feed you. When no one want to acknowledge you, I will know you are there. To the hopless, abused and forgotten, I will see you.

No matter how many times I wash my hands, the stains are still there. No matter how much I try, I cannot silence the screams. I know I shouldn't have done it but it is to late to worry about that now. Inside my room that closes in on me every time I open my eyes. Just one drink too many, that is all it took. I walked away without a scratch, but two others lost their lives. The blood will not wash off of my hands no matter how much I try.

I know all of the verses and I can tell you what it is about. I can tell you who Jesus is, of that there is no doubt. I can comfort you and pray for you, as much as you like. I can be there for you at midday or at midnight. What I cannot do is take away your sin, there is only one can do that, he is my dearest friend. So if you feel a tugging at heart, don't let it go by. Open up the door and let my friend inside. Despite all of the things I can do, the one thing I can't is believe for you!

I feel like I am suffocating, the world is closing in around me. I feel only fear and paranoia! I just want to be outside, I can't stand closed in spaces or people close in around me. I walk everywhere or ride a bike, even when it is bitter cold. No one seems to understand me. They just tell me it is a phase. I can't ever seem to smile and what I like doesn't make sense to others. I like quiet places where the noise doesn't confuse me. I want to be liked and to have friends, but there are few people like me. All they want to do is take me to doctors, and all they want is to medicate me. I just want someone to understand that this is my normal, at least it is for me. I know what I am doing, I just have to do it in my own way. I don't like getting upset, but I get frustrated when people want to change me. I just wish they would stop crowding me so I can just breathe.

I can't save the world because it doesn't want to be saved. I can help as many as well accept it. On the journey that I call life, I must simply do the best that I can and help any who will receive kindness. While I alone cannot save the world, perhaps if I help enough people I will plant the seeds of Hope in many hearts and that will grow and spread until one has become many and together we can save the world.

Under blue skies with birds singing, I watch as you go on your journey. Memories rush through my mind and I fight to hold back the tears. So much was left unsaid. As your friends pass one by one, I long to hold you again. I want so much to go back and make it right. Unfortunately, I will not have that chance and now that you are going on your eternal journey, I can't say goodbye.

Faint light shines through ice hanging from the trees. Like diamonds it sparkles and twinkles. Streaks of silver show through and glisten in the misty air. Like precious treasure that brings subtle beauty if only for a little while. The world sleeps as fires burn bright inside. The ice must come to cleanse the world of the old and renew the life for spring to come and give rebirth. Thus the ice is a treasure indeed.

I slit my wrist to feel alive, I am all numb inside. The cuts hurt only for a while but in this moment I actually feel something. I cannot cry anymore because my emotions have died. I am dried up inside and want to feel alive. So I cut my wrist then I cut my legs. Where ever I can get at the pain so I will feel something again. No one understands why I do what I do. I don't want to die, because I am already dead inside. I must find a way to feel alive so I won't be so numb. If only I could feel something other than pain I wouldn't need to cut myself again.

Born to simplicity and raised in a foreign land, he lived a restless life until at last he could be himself. He walked the land bringing a message of hope, then he was wrongly accused and crucified for those he didn't know. One day by chance I met him and with a countenance of a gentle soul, Jesus showed  me that he died to love me.

On a hill far away on a very dark and sad day, a man was counted among the transgressors. I watched as he gave up his last breath and listened as he said it is done. In that moment I saw innocence killed for nothing that was worthy of death. When his last breath was drawn, I understood that I was guilty of his  blood, and that I had to die with him in order to live again.

Born into poverty, I was told I could not. I was told I should not. I rose from the depth of my situation and set myself on a path of achievement and discovery. I did not let what I was given stop me from achieving my dreams. I came to understand that I alone define myself. I cannot let another define me. I discovered with in my own self that I do matter.

I look at my reflection and I see my own face, but I am not sure it is really me. I am told that I am one thing and I think that I am another. I sometimes wonder if this is all a dream. I wake up and my surroundings seem familiar, but I feel like I am out of place. Society says I should accept their norms, but what is normal for them doesn't feel right to me. I have heard all of the rhetoric and seen all of the fads. I only know that I am different, but I am not sure what that means. I am still trying to figure it out, but people won't let me be. It all is confusing me and I don't know who I really am.

Under a mid-day sun, I walked among the tombstones. I saw the markers with the names of the fallen. Under a tall tree, I sat down in the shade and drifted off to sleep. My mind became free of all it's clutter. Before me I saw the cemetery where I had just been, among the monuments, I saw the images of men and women standing side by side. They all turned and looked toward me then up to the flag that flew above them. They saluted and stood tall with pride. I walked up to a soldier and ask him what this means? He turned with a click of his heels and said come with me. We walked through images of past battles and wars, then down streets and through school yards. We went through nursing homes and churches of every faith, all in what seemed the blink of an eye. As I awoke, I saw the fading images of the honored dead, and I came to understand. Each soul that had fallen, was ready to have given all to ensure the freedom the solider showed me.

The streets laugh at me as I struggle to climb out of the shadows. All around me people say just give in to the inevitable. I feel like I am suffocating sometimes. All over the neighborhood, I see people with broken spirits who are prisoners of forgotten dreams. They wander aimlessly as if they are just waiting for it all to end. It seems the harder that I try to climb the ladder towards the light, the more I get weighed down with all of the problems of the here and now. It is a daily struggle just to survive. Some people turn to playing with a ball in hopes of catching a shooting star out of the dreariness of this life. Others pick up a gun and some drugs and hope for the quick exit. Most get what they want, just not in the way they figured. Every time I get hit, I dig deeper into a book. To some it seems like a pointless waste of time, but I know it holds the key to what I want. It holds the key to my dream, the freedom I so desire, the freedom I believe in. If I can just hold on and get past one more month, one more day, one more moment, I can cross the bridge out of my unchosen place and climb all of the way out into the light, into the freedom I dream of.

A day may come when the lord has had enough. He will simply for a moment step away. When we have all but rejected him, perhaps he will take a personal day. God could go for a walk on the edge of the universe or create another world. Perhaps he will stop by a coffee shop and order something to helping him through his day. He might just sleep in and hit reset on his eternal clock. If we keep ignoring him, then perhaps he will finally just say I need a day off. What a long and unimaginably bad day that would be.

Into the silence go my words. In the dark of night I cry out. When the stars fade and day seems years away, in a raspy voice I plead for understanding and long to feel his holy touch. I plead with a broken heart, that seems to ache too much. I reach for peace and hide in dark corners to pray. If God would only hear me call, then I know it would be okay.

Darting about in the water of a stream, following cool water into a vast deep lake, swimming in a vast school or exploring the secrets of a deep ocean, oh to be a fish who only needs to swim. I would lose all of my fear of water and jump for joy above the waves. I would hide under a cool rock and sit while the water rushes by me. I would have a simple life uncomplicated by the things that men and women are hassled with. I could spend a day exploring an underwater cave seeing what treasure a pirate might have left behind only to flick the glistening gold with my tail because it is worthless to me. My journey would be fascinating each day if I could be a fish, what fun that would be.

To be a king I would wear a heavy crown, because I would bear the burdens of my people. I would not take my ease until the poorest among my people was fed. I would give more than I would take. I would not seek riches or lands, but wisdom as my treasure. I would absorb knowledge so that I could help many and not a few. I would seek out the humble and wise to be judges and not the rich and powerful. The door of my castle would never be closed to the poor or those in need. In all things I would show mercy and give justice in kind.

If I held the power and could build an army, I would not create soldiers with guns. I would take the young children and begin to educate them. I would teach them to speak a language other than their own. I would raise them to be helpful and to understand kindness. I would develop their talents each and every one. When they were grown, I would send them forth to do the work that needed to be done. My army would be teachers, engineers and healers. They would bring mercy and light into the world. They would speak to others in there own tongue and show them how to care for themselves. They would mend the sick and build new and amazing things. This is the army that I would build.

If I were to chance upon God and he would sit for a while. I would buy him a drink, just like a regular guy. I hear he is partial to wine, or at least that's what the  bible says . He even changed the water into some, so the story goes. I would not care what it cost, for it would be a once in a life time chance. To sit down with the all mighty and have a chat over a few drinks. I am not sure what I would ask first, but then what could I  really say. I mean he knows what your thinking, so perhaps we would just drink. Then I would sit quietly and listen to what he had to say and perhaps I would see he is quiet a good fellow, if I could buy God a drink.

If I could fly like superman I would soar through the sky, I would fly towards the sun, then turn around and soar through some clouds. I would chase the sunset and view each and every one until 24 hours of the day was done. I would take photographs and post them on my favorite place. I would want the world to see what I see and enjoy it with me. I would shoot up towards the moon and give the flag a salute. If I could truly fly like that, it would be quite a hoot.

If I could pull together all of the moments of my life. I would pick out the best ones and put them together. I would see how I fell in love with my wife and watch children grow and love. I would celebrate birthdays every day and walk only into the good times. There would be no sorrow, only joy. If I could live a dream this is how it would be.

If I could take your pain, I would gladly bear your scars. If I could take your pain, I would be wounded in your place. If I could take your pain, I would bear your sorrow. If I could take your pain, I would give you all of my joy. If I could take your pain, I would bear your burdens. If I could take your pain, I would cry your tears. If I could take your pain, I would set you free so that you would never know misery again. I would take a thousand cuts or walk a difficult road, just so you would be able to smile. I would suffer in your place and feel completely alone if I could take your pain.

If I gave you my heart, would you keep it safe? If I commit my heart to you, will you promise not to break it? If I let my heart belong to you, will you promise not to share it with anyone else? If I open my heart to you, will you share your heart with me? If I let my heart be vulnerable, will you be gentle with it? If I let my heart love you, will you let yours love me?

If I had a nickel for every promise that I was made. I would be able to buy enough bubble gum to supply all of Americas 3rd grade. All of the political promises that never come true. All of the nonsense promises that we are told. All are worth wooden nickels that we can never spend. So if I had a nickel for every promise made, I just might be a rich man.

The walls are melting around me! I am screaming inside! I lie in a pool of sweat and misery! I want to feel the cool night air. I climb out the window and scale the walls like a fly. I drag myself to the roof and look back over the edge. I wonder if I can fly? Oh to see the day break and to know that sanity hasn't left me!. If I make it until morning, I think I will be ok?

If I only had one day to live, I would start early to make amends. I would undo all that I had done  to hurt strangers and friends and the family that I love. I would give more than I have ever given before. I would do that and just a little bit more. I would share words of kindness with everyone I saw. I would not be to busy for anyone at all. I would step outside and enjoy whatever the day would bring. I would dance whether it was sun, snow, or even dark clouds and rain. I would make each second precious because I would know it would be my last. Then when the sun set and I breathed my last, I would thank God in heaven that he let me go out this way. I would be very grateful that I had just one special day.

If I pray for you will you hate me? If I ask the Divine to have mercy on you, will you accept it? If I plead for your soul, will you think less of me? Even if the god I pray to is not the one that you seek, will you still accept compassion from me? If I pray for you, will you do the same for me?

If I were a written word, what might I be penned down as? Would I be a love poem too sad to read in full. Would I be a poem of inspiration that gives the heart courage, or one of fear and loathing that turns the reader cold and indifferent. If the person that I am could be transitioned into the words on a page, then perhaps I would be a little bit of all of these and a few things more. Though it would be my hope that the better part of my humanity would be penned down with great care though I fear that because I am imperfect, that the negative aspects of my self would still find their way into the work.

If I should sleep and wake never more, take no thought for me. I will have gone to a place far beyond my pain, I will be at rest and at peace. My life that I have lived has been an adventurous one, I have many joys and few regrets. My sins are my own and I must atone for them, though I hope for forgiveness. I will sleep the sleep of the ages, at rest with what I believe. It is my hope that I shall have left a better world than I came into and that some small part of me shall remain. So If I lay down and wake not, take comfort in that I am at rest. Celebrate my life and mourn it not for in all things I did my best. Live in joy and not in sorrow, for that is what I would like you to do. Give more than you receive, that one day you may be at rest to. So if I should wake no more, know that I am in a far better place. It is my hope you will join me in time and that we can reminisce and catch up for eternity.