They say with age comes wisdom, but in fact with Wisdom, comes confusion. What I thought I knew I do not know and what was real is now surreal. Time didn't move fast enough when I was young, but now that I am old, it is a precious commodity. Though I have read many books, others opinions now seem less important than my own. If I could impart lessons, I would want to teach only myself. I am not sure what I am supposed to have learned through a lifetime of study, but I am sure it is not what I wanted to understand. The world was a lot simpler when the sky was blue, water was wet and the sun was warm. Now that I have gained knowledge, the more I know the less I understand of what it all means.

The timber is stained with the Crimson flow. The nail holes tell the story. The turning point of eternity, the place where all can become worthy. The Crimson flow that makes you white as snow. The place where a choice is made. On a barren hill, the cross road can heal it all.

Let the cold drops wash over me! Let the water cleanse me! Let my silhouetted form in the Darkness add a sense of Mystery as to why I am here. Some people run from the Thunder, I embrace the lightning from the sky. I relish the cold water as it falls over every inch of me. I shake my head and let my hair flow freely. Water drenches me and sets me free. I become one with the Skyfall as I shed all of my pain. I am what was and will be again, I am reborn in the rain

I know all of the verses and I can tell you what it is about. I can tell you who Jesus is, of that there is no doubt. I can comfort you and pray for you, as much as you like. I can be there for you at midday or at midnight. What I cannot do is take away your sin, there is only one can do that, he is my dearest friend. So if you feel a tugging at heart, don't let it go by. Open up the door and let my friend inside. Despite all of the things I can do, the one thing I can't is believe for you!

I wake up at night in a cold sweat. I toss and turn on my bed. I am afraid to close my eyes for fear I will see my friends. The ghost I left behind, on the battle field. The people on who I could depend. They are gone and I am here and it just not fair. I keep their memory trapped deep down inside, sometimes I cannot silence their voices, I just want to die. People tell me that it is ok, but the weren't there. They don't know what I went through, so how can they say that they care? I keep fighting the battle even though the war is over for me. I guess I just have to accept that I brought the battle home with me.

Our politicians steal our wealth and send it away from our own. They preach to us about how we should embrace the world, as children are starving here at home. We send our young men and women to die in a foreign land, for what we don't understand. Other countries tell us how we should live, then they demand that we give and give. Perhaps we should close the door for just a little while. In fact let's bring every one of our warriors home. We can put them to work solving the problems we have right here. We can step back from the rest of the world and let the caring start here.

The wreath is hung upon my door. The tree is all lit up. The cookies are baking in the oven not much more that can be done. No one comes to call, my door bell doesn't ring. I am sitting alone again among so many shiny things. There are no Carols to be sung, there is no reason you see. I just sit quietly and look out the frosted window as the world passes by me. I don't mind being alone, I have lots of things to pass my time. So many books to read, surveys to be done online. My family is somehow to busy, they have their own lives to live. So I just sit here quietly with so much love to give. I will endure one more holiday by myself. Then I will fold everything up and put my memories neatly on the shelf. I have one lone present underneath my shiny tree, it is to me from me, I can't wait to open it you see. So here I sit alone, another season passes for me. I will be alone for Christmas, but that is all right you see.