I sit here shaking, I cannot believe what I am seeing. How did these photos of me end up everywhere. The emails are cruel and the chat post are awful. My stomach is turning just thinking about them. I thought he loved me and now I am a running joke. Someone posted a photo album on a **** shaming site. I did not say it was all right but I remember very little about what happened. I got drowsy and the rest is kind of a blur. I remember his hands going where I did not want them to go. I remember him kissing me and saying that we wanted this. What happened after that is kind of a hazy mess, but I do remember that over and over again, I told him NO!

One Christmas eve I knelt silently in prayer. I gave thanks for the things that I had and let my needs be known. Then in silent contemplation I ask God what shall I give you for Christmas. In a long still silence the heavens waited then the sound of a small still voice spoke to me. Love your fellow man, I know it is hard but I know you can if you try. Give to others and seek nothing in return. Listen and seldom speak, learn what other people need. Go out of your way to be kind, even if it is the furthest thing on your mind. Do not take more than you need, even if it seems right to you. Care for the world I gave you and it will do great things for you. I was filled with confusion and sadness because of the conviction that I now had. I then asked God if there was anything else, and he said the most important gift is to first love yourself. He told me that once I knew what I was worth, then I would do the other things and we truly could have peace on earth. With that final word I got up off of my knees and went out to try to live up to the things God told me. To make Gods Christmas gift the best that I could be.

A Rose sits high on her breast and a snake slithers up her thigh! She has a heart tattooed on her arm and an evil smile on her lips. In the small of her back the dark wings can take you on a trip. A vine swirls around her ankle with the names of those she holds dear. She has forever yours tattooed just below her ear. She walks casually by and gives you a longing stare. Her wrist has the words Devil May Care. She has long blood Red nails and on her fingers she has love and hate. She loves to make your girlfriend jealous, she is the woman they will love to hate. Across her slender stomach she has no inhibitions tattooed colorful and clear. She has wanton sinner tattooed on her inner thigh. If you see what is next then it is obvious you are her kind of guy. So if you want to get lost in lust, just let her catch your eye. You will follow the map of ink to sinful pleasure and she will rock your world. Be wary of the danger of the tattooed girl.

Oh Christmas flea oh Christmas flea, why did you bite upon me. Oh Christmas flea oh Christmas flea, where did you come from? Did you sneak in upon my tree, perhaps you hid on me? Oh Christmas flea oh Christmas flea, please stop biting upon me. Oh you are a painful bug, perhaps you hid in my designer rug? Oh Christmas flea Oh Christmas flea, please don't bite upon me. Now because of you I think that I have the flu, I hope that you get it to. Oh Christmas flea oh Christmas flea, I think I will have to fumigate thee.

Oh Lord I look at the land but I yet long for the sea. Please let thy hand guide my journey and let thy favor be upon me. Give me clear eyesight and strong and steady hands. Be patient with me as I labor and seek to know your master plan. Let the wind take me upon my journey and return me safe again, that I may gently hold loved ones and embrace dear friends. If it should be thy judgement that my Earthly home I will see no more, let not thy servants body wash up on the shore. Take me gently into the arms and embrace me in the Deep. Let me there abide until you call me from my sleep. Know that I have done my best whatever be my fate. Unto thee I give all glory and on thee then I will patiently wait, amen

Dawn breaks on the horizon, the stormy night has passed. The dark blue Waters are dimly lit and the Shadows are fading fast. The fierce winds have died down and the white froth of the Raging main is calmed. Seagulls cry in the cool morning air as they Venture from land heralding Mariners home. Dark have been the tidings of late an unfavorable has the weather been, long Journeys and separation has found us but now that show all come to an end. For the wind blows warm at our back and the tide gently rolls in. As the sun fully brakes on a brand new morning I no there will soon be good fortune for the tides are turning again.

The floor is littered with broken dreams. The curtains are drawn to keep out the sunlight. A half empty whiskey bottle sits beside the bed. I haven't been out in a week. Life is nothing but a whole lot of clutter. I hear people outside but I just can't seem to join them. My heart is empty of emotions, they have been spilled all over the house. My sheets and pillows are stained with tears, I just wallow in the pity that they bring to my mind. I am not sure where to begin to clean up. When love is lost and your heart is shattered, you are just left trapped in the refuse that a broken relationship leaves behind.