Scared to live, scared to die
In one ear but not out the other
Living is dying and dying is living
Said to me from the man with a needle in his vein
Just have another drink, sit back and wash away the pain
The agony's continuing
With a bloodstained history
It's hard to make sense of it
Bile in the sink
Because I can't eat
And there's nothing to purge
Except what's left of me

I am the biggest
******* who has
ever loved.

Every connection I make
I eventually break.
It's the fear of being inadequate
to someone's taste that causes me to
shiver and shake like ******-doo
I'm not the one that leaves, I make you.
It's really not your fault I want you to shoo
I really don't but I have an abandonment issue.
Its why I live alone and don't pursue romantic
interests. I sit around frantic as if the Atlantic
and Pacific, to be specific, were going to flood
the exact spot I sit in.

I feel guilty,
grabbing a drink first thing in
The mourning.

Only then
I look at my phone
and see that it is 12pm

And everything feels alright again.

Took me for granted
Used me to get by
You were so lonely
Needed a one and only

But Just for a little while
Until another one came by

I had a thought
Once
If I make it out of here alive,
I will

I won't,
I can't

Goodbye.

A lack of traction
like wheels spinning in the mud.
A subtraction of reason;
Call it swimming in a flood
Your blood is red as mine.
We both count
One, two, three, four, five
Six, Seven, Eight, Nine.

So why must you separate us
like cartilage between vertebrate?
I only want to decorate your face
with smiles.

*Is that too much to ask for?