"whats your problem?"
brain injury, some black chest hole
possibly ******, and accusing me
"excuse me?"
being so sensitive, pricking pin
dart boards, pink wisps, stupid words generate-
"so you wanna be mean to me?"
misunderstood, caught fists up
pants down, ***** words, swinging wood-
"can't believe i thought i knew you"
hammering nail heads, guess we were
both confused-

lumberers needle hacking at his limbs
which fell in the cars on the track of the train
headed straight to his head
straight through his skin
last stop, the beauty shop
where they tell him to wake up
steps off the bus at the gas station
buying cigs and wandering again

one more cup, i can stay awake
a little more stress, a little more weight
face to face, all those words i said
to my friends
escape
just keep running, it's all a mistake
one more drink, i'll be fine
a little more stress, a little longer in bed
ran into my words
now they're stuck in my head
i'm so heavy, glutinously dreading
blaring alarms, i'm gone
this time
but don't miss me
this time
i'm gone
this time

hear your name
one more time
drive it home
let the messages play
turn it up
let them scream
cause it's not in me
totally starving
take it all
stuff my face
pass out on the floor
i'll leave
i miss you
i love you
where are you?
do you miss me?
do you love me?
hear your name
one more time
drive it home

out of body, out of mine
floating lamely
doormatted to the floor
peripherals in my head
always find you
i can wish, i can dream
but i promised to leave
and you don't love me
i lied, i can't prove it
please, i know i'm crazy
but i'm not dumb
"now you're heartless
and i'm done"

bathroom mirrors left wide open
in the light, it's shadow: orange
slapped cheeks stinging from palms wide open
popped it and shes off the ledge

the numbers crunch and sum us equal
from 50 to 14 and now the same
years picked off by hungry gulls
they're swallowed, won't be remembered again

created-creator, destroyed in thoughts
at least now our ****** eyes are trained
its unfortunate, they're fixed on petty "nots"
but the knots are tight, only relieved when frayed

i've got an iron plate
covered in a definitely liquid fate
behind a spherical unlocked gate
popped open to peek not too late
to see the life that awaits

i've got a trigger happy brain
a kid who complains
an old man who does not remember his name
a star with no fame
honestly lame claims

i've got a bed made of rocks
rooms with walls that talk
premonitions and assumptions that stalk,
gawk, walk and smock
the fantasy ship that never returns home to dock

i've got pairs of no color
foundational pillars that shudder
magnets that reject one another
though positive the father, mother or brother
no force could make them huggers

i've got a memory of the future
and vacant sheets that still stir
lonely animals that still pur
on the backs of women as fine fur
not ever damning the fact they could not also skin her

i've got a bomb with no fuse
useless skillful attributes
an unreachable noose
somewhere near that train with no caboose
a newspaper that never bore news

i've got an inner psychotic earthquake
erupting, held together with paper weights
silent clocks melting against time and space
warped beyond conceivable replace
and a pace set for waste producing smells of unimaginable distaste

i've got millions of appointments
pimples and hemorrhoids needing ointments
osteoporosis making a spine bent
an empty bank due to money lent
an obsession over time never spent

i've got a dangerous urge
to lick a dish for the surge
that stripped the bull of its courage
cracked knees creating pains that gurge
pleading relief from the thaumaturge

i've got a cat with ferocity
only defeated by that curiosity
covered in gems to disguise its true atrocity
that wished it could refer to itself anonymously
but sporting a name that claimed it was descriptive of me

i've got a handful of severity
motions that want sincerity
an over cast of side effects promising what i could be
eyes dialed in, foggy and stripped of clarity
in the mirror its no longer human that i see