If I die before I awake,
my soul shall run for no one to take,
Neither heaven nor hell,
My soul shall simple dwell.
Completing the unfinished tasks of life,
Wandering the world in search of a wife.,
Still in search of a true soul,
Endlessly searching for that heart of gold,
Trying to find my other half,
The burning Phoenix to  my empty heart,
My soul would search for that missing part.
Facing down demons and fears,
Never showing the shed of tears,
Filled with hatred and resentment,
But also happiness and contentment.
Searching for the Phoenix to be her cure,
I would save her before the flames would pour,
The joy inside would keep me alive,
And my will would allow me to strive.
I would search day and night,
Fighting away every last fright.
Finding my matching heart,
What I've been in search of from the start.
I'd capture the Phoenix with my love,
And then together, our hearts would rise above,
To find my second half will is always my goal,
For my body, my heart, and especially my soul

As I walk through the valley I'm the shadow of death,
I keep myself together with every waking breath,
I make it unknown to everyone who I truely am,
no one will every know the emotions I cram.
Some say i don't understand,
That I dont get it,
That I dont understand you,
Well I do, I see you, I know you, I get you,
I've been where you are,
I've walked through the valley and back up again,
I've slept alone with my thoughts in a den,
I thought it would never end.
Day after day,
Year after year,
never shedding one tear,
I stayed strong through the worst,
picked myself up when i was about to burst,
I've let love go when my lust thurst,
I am the shadow in the valley of death,
I look like im the angel of life,
no one needs to see the black cloke i wear,
they just see my smile and short cut hair.
Well groomed, teeth clean, smelling good,
no one relizes there is something below,
a second skin, lying within,
waiting to be let out to show my real self,
but until then the angel of life is here to stay,
to tell you your beautiful and great,
even the shadow inside me knows its not to late,
to show you what I see in you,
to rewire your battered heart,
to give you a new start,
to tell you that your not stupid,
that your funny and cute and deserve cupid,
I'm hear to listen and help,
even though you think I can't
I'm going to try my best,
not as the shadow of death,
but the angel of life,
to give you happiness in every breath.

I should have taken all the warnings,
I should have foreseen this mourning,
I thought i could have trusted you,
But now I'm lusting for you.
Your just causing me to be blue.
I thought you were different from the rest,
I thought you had shown some interest.
I guess i was wrong and now your gone.
I don't know what i had done,
I don't understand this green monster I've become.
I don't want to live life like this,
I would just like to be bliss.
Be genuinely happy for once,
Instead I'm making myself the dunce.
Complaining over what never was,
Thinking that i am always the cause.
Wandering if it was me, i wish i could see,
Could see the monster I've turned into.
I wish you could see what I've been through,
All the mountains and valleys I've overcome.
If only you had added it up, taken the sum,
Looked deep into the real me,
Saw what i was trying to do, what i want to be.
I wanted one meager chance,
You had me hypnotized, in a trance,
You had me from our first glance.
The way i had made you smile,
The way you had seen past my vile,
The way i could make you laugh,
But now all i see now is a wrath.
Anger engulfing every square inch,
I feel as though I'm in a pinch.
Time is not on my side for long,
I only wish i could stay strong,
These feeling are probably false,
They are probably all in my mind, a lost clause,
A darkness inside of me grows,
It is filled with my sorrow and woes.
If only the light would shine through,
If only i could stop being blue,
I want my angel to shine bright,
I dont want the darkness in flight.
All i ask is to find some blissness,
To complete the pursuit of happiness.
Is that really so much to ask,
All i want if to complete my endless task

Your standing at a cross roads
And you dont no which way to go
To the left is a road you've never known
To the right is the life youve lived and grown
As the rain pours down along your face
Your confused on which choice to make
Your scared of change and risk
You always belive youll fail the test
Even though your stronger than most
You dont belive you have anythin to boast
A predictiable stable life is what you want,
Descions and stress give you haunt
A fulfiled life is all you want,
My Wandering woman just follow your heart,
Dont worry what others think, its about what you want
Let nature be your guide and show you the way,
Choose a path and dont ever stray
Follow the sun the moon and stars,
Theyll always stay bright for you,
Just look to the sky whenever your blue,
Take a deep breathe and let it all flow out,
Before you make a descions no matter what about,
While your at the crossroads wanderer,
Always remember not to ponder,
Follow your gut and nothin but,
Dont let outside fears take control,
Your demons are no match for your heart,
Even though they may never let go,
Fight through them all with courage and wit,
Think on your toes and never sit,
Youll get through this wandering woman,
Never doubt what you are doing.
Never let your smile go dim,
It will brighten up any room,
Keep your eyes open wide
They are as blue as the sky,
Tread your gorgous soul onward dear,
There is nothing for you to fear.
As you stand at the crossroads before you
Remember these words i said to you,
If you choose the road you dont know
Or the one that youve grown accustom too
Just make sure that youll be happy first,
Happiness is your primary first.
Everything else can wait,
And i myself can always wait,
Ill wait until your seas have calmed,
Until it is safe to climb a shore,
Until your storm has subsided,
And you can no longer deny it.
Never the less ill always be by your side,
And for you ill hang up my pride.
You'll always have a place in my heart,
You always have right from the start.

If I die before i awake
I pray the lord my soul to take
To forgive me for all my mistakes
And bring me up and show me the good,
Keep me warm and shelted and feed me food
Forgive me for some of the choices ive chosen
And that sometimes my thoughts become frozen
My mind become hung up on beinign issues,
And a end up tell her "i miss you"
My guiding light is always there,
To help me with any nightmare,
Lord if i die before i awake,
Id trade my soul to make sure its hers you take.
She is the one with a golden heart,
Shell help with any problem no matter what,
Though she may have had a tough start,
Shes been a caring shoulder and nothing but.
Its her that i look towards to help me out,
To pick me up and tell me what lifes about,
But lately somethings changed and it tares me up,
Shes felt sad and lost and out of place,
Shes had many tears go rollin down her face.
I want to help her like shes helped me,
I want to make it so she can see,
I want her to see the beauty she holds,
The beauty that i see every time my eyes close,
So please help me open her eyes,
Please help me show there is no lie,
It is all truth whenever I'm with her,
Every word i say is said with no pressure,
She may think I'm joking but it is all the same,
I want her to see that I'm not just bein lame.
Shes the glue that holds me together,
No matter what the weather.
Now its my turn to help her,
My turn to be her lighthouse in the storm,
To save her from her saddened form,
My guiding light the roles have changed,
Im now your beacon but everything else is the same,
We will both use each other to stay oh so strong,
And we will get through any type of wrong,
Listen to these words with all seriousness,
Im going to help you there is no atest,
My arms wide up run into them,
No one can hurt us when its us against them.
So lord here these words and grant my wish,
Help me guide her and ill me set.

My weakness is what we'll discuss
One that some say is a plus.
A weakness that shakes meto my core,
Grows my fears until i cant take anymore.
I care about everyone i meet,
Wheater on the street or in discreet.
Ill never let a soul be sad,
Or have one think of doing bad.
Some may say its because im an angel,
That i can remive ones ever tangle,
That i can help them see the light,
Set them off in flight.
No ome sees the problems that are beneath,
The anger jealousy sadness just searchin for reilif.
Those which help the most have the most problems
They are always trying their hardest to solve them,
Like me just wanting the world to be happy
Its easy sometimes to look over me.
To forget that I'm the one who should come first
To give myself holy water for thirst
To bandage my hearts wounds
And not help others too soon
To take care of my mind foremost
To make sure i do feel like the worst.
But ill just keep my chin up,
Walking around like i don't give a ****.
Playing my facade off as the truth,
Making my mind and soul reach a truce.
in the end all i do is pretend,
Texting people hitting sense,
Living life day by day,
Waving smiling and still saying hey.
Thats what you have to do sometimes tho,
Bottle in all up and like a jar of snow.
Ill write now and again and let it all out,
This way ill prevent myself from scream and shout.

Every good thing must come to an end.
Everytime they'll be a side that doesn't win.
One will be left with a broken heart,
And one will be fine when they part.
One will struggle to fall asleep,
And one will find another one to keep.
The heart never breaks evenly.
One side pain is always much stronger.
There is no way to weather this storm,
No medicine to heal the scorn.
The pain will burrow deep within,
The mind will collapse and and grow dim.
The thought of how it all began will stick around,
The first date will replay without sound.
All that will be seen within are smiles and laughs,
The way you looked in her eyes and took a gasp.
The way you thought to yourself "How'd i get so lucky"
The thought that maybe it'll be me.
You lean in for the first kiss,
Scared to think what will happen next.
Wandering if your strong enough to fall,
Wandering if you should tear down that wall.
Maybe this one will always be there for me,
Maybe this one would like to care for me.
Thoughts are racing through your head,
Your heart sinks down and drops dead.
The first date goes by with out a hitch,
11:11 comes on the clock and you make a wish.
You wish that this one will last,
That this one will clear your past.
The days turn to weeks and the weeks to months,
Your both having fun not worrying once.
Then someone from their past comes into light,
Suddenly she remembers a past delight.
The anger begins to flow when you see this,
Your eyes become green with jealousness.
The smiles you once carried together suddenly fade,
Those lovely smiles just fade away.
A small rip in one sides heart begins to form,
While the others is being reborn.
As the **** goes deep and the ***** gets steeper,
One sides mind begins to crumble,
The drinks start flowing down with every angry mumble,
You don't know how to get her back,
To fix your hearts deadly crack.
You'd do anything to push the new guy away,
To convince your baby to just stay.
To have her remember all the good times you've had,
That us together really wasn't that bad.
Your heart pounds at night,
Because you can see whats in sight.
You know whats about to come,
That she has already chosen someone.
That someone isn't you,
And you no that you'll be blue.
And you knew that this would happen,
There was no way you could stop them.
All you wanted was for her to see,
For her to see what you could be,
But in the end this is how life will go.
One ends with a crushed heart,
One ends with a new start.

As I walk through the valley I'm the shadow of death,
I keep myself together with every waking breath.
I make it unknown to everyone who I truely am,
no one will ever know the emotions I cram.
Some say i don't understand,
That I don't get it,
That I don't understand you,
Well I do, I see you, I know you, I get you.
I've been where you are,
I've walked through the valley and back up again,
I've slept alone with my thoughts in a den,
I thought it would never end.
Day after day,
Year after year,
never shedding one tear.
I stayed strong through the worst,
picked myself up when i was about to burst,
I've let love go when my lust had thirst.
I am the shadow in the valley of death.
I may look like im the angel of life,
no one needs to see the black cloke i wear,
they just see my smile and short cut hair.
Well groomed, teeth clean, smelling good,
no one relizes there is something below,
a second skin, lying within,
waiting to be let out to show my real self.
but until then the angel of life is here to stay,
to tell you your beautiful and great.
Even the shadow inside me knows its not to late,
to show you what I see in you,
to rewire your battered heart,
to give you a new start.
to tell you that your not stupid,
that your funny and cute and deserve cupid.
I'm hear to listen and help,
even though you think I can't
I'm going to try my best.
Not as the shadow of death,
but the angel of life,
to give you happiness in every breath.

I see the way you walk.
The way you don't want to talk.
The way you wish you could smile,
Make a smile that would stretch a mile.
But you've been hurt before,
And you still don't no what for.
You were the best you could be,
Everyone would look and see.
The way you had wished to smile,
The way you didn't want to be vile.
How you had wanted to be happy,
To experience a true kind of sappy.
You may lie and say you like the pain,
That you dont want a cute pet name.
But you and i both no thats false.
You want to finish the clause,
To finish your story with glee.
To live life, perhaps with me.
To have this angel sweep you away,
Tell you everything will be okay.
To show you the sappy ways,
To make you smile for days.
Just give me a chance i promise,
You'll never go walking about amiss.
Ill hold you close and tight,
Make your darkness turn to light,
Tell you your a princess and deserve the best,
Go ahead put me through any test.
Just open your eyes you'll see,
That you and me may just be.
This angel will save the Phoenix,
Ill pull you out of the ashes,
Set your heart free once again,
Let you live life not in suspend.
Give you a reason to say amen,
I just want you to laugh with me,
I just want you to see.
That your amazing baby,
Don't let anyone steer you wrong,
Your one in a million ***.

Do i ask for to much,
Am i just your crutch,
Am i just blind to the truth,
Or are you just playing me as the fool,
We are playing this game of proof,
And i don't even know one rule.
Your right beside me one night,
Holding my hand being a delight,
The next day you act like i don't exist,
And you know i cant resist,
I cant get you out of my head,
The thought of you next to me in bed,
Your black hair beside my face,
Your sweet scent and nice lips taste,
Your one in a million ***,
Everything about you makes me smile,
A smile that stretches a mile,
I know your not one to believe my sap,
But I'm saying the truth no crap,
Why cant you just take a leap,
I promise the ***** isn't to steep,
Ill catch you if you fall,
Ill hold you close and give you it all,
I know this may seem like a little much,
But sometime i know words and nothing but,
I have to write out what i really want to say,
That i want to go out of my way,
To make you happy like you do for me,
Maybe try and make you see,
See something more than whats on the surface,
That maybe you have a greater purpose,
Im sorry that I'm crazy at times,
But the truth is that i think to much about signs,
Its not from the drinking or any other thing,
Its just that I've been bottled up,
And haven't gotten to say whats up,
I don't know how you'll take this but i want you to know,
Your really amazing in every way,
At least if you ask me thats what ill say,
Your beautiful and caring and funny,
And way cuter than a lil bunny,
No matter how you take of this dear,
Remember I will always be here.