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The ice sifting in my glass
melts as the full moon sets
Another vice, constricting,
like a tightly wound corset
I can't be around so many people
in such familiar atmospheres
without a mixed drink and a cigarette
intervening through my beers

On her phone, at the table
She seems alone but not ashamed
I wonder if a single person here
could even guess her name
For a little liquid courage
I finish up my drink
I transfer to a closer chair
and ask on what she thinks

"I've got a past consumed by lovers
and a future filled with death
But the only thing I've ever wanted
was someone else inside my head
I want to hear somebody understand
that I don't always feel so fine"
I think I start to fall in love
as she pirouettes her glass of wine

She tells me how she grew up
on shattered hopes and dreams
Yet everything she's ever needed
has been well within her reach
The scars that she has
they paint a vivid history
A reminder of the past
A tour guide, makeshift, just for me

We talk a little longer
We joke and we sing
Halfway through her bottle
her ride informs us she's leaving
She says "I think I'm gunna miss you
when I'm alone laying in bed
Unless you want to take me there
and tuck me in instead"

We head out to the main street
where I hail us a taxi
She says she wants to split my headphones
and hear something relaxing
So we listen to Alcoa
Cab Rides & Cigarettes
I never knew that such a sad song
Could evoke such an affect




I dropped
her off
and left

But I'm glad
that we
had met
There spun a world above my head and I could enter
it
At any time I wanted to, whenever I saw
fit
At first it was a rendezvous, a place that I would
go
To take reprieve of circumstance that I was born to
know
And then the strangest thing occurred, I managed to
perceive
That I was still in spinning state the moment I would
leave
And so began the era of my physical
demise
For all I needed to survive was just a pair of
eyes
Behind the visage of my thoughts I dug a perfect
hole
A buried bed, a grave, a tomb, the epitaph - my
soul
Permeating every room, your presence settles quick
But sometimes if I tarry long the air becomes too thick
I know it when I place my hands before my sallow face
That your contagion enters as I memorize your taste
Shuffle, stir but don't react, you'll propagate a sound
And make your body visible to all of those around
The consequence for such a thing will only prove the dread
That living in a world of you makes everybody dead
Maybe in the moonrise we can sanctify the night
I'll wait until the morning, wake for you to shed your light
We'll define existence as the something we have made
Put together slowly and then altered every day


Observing all the wrinkles that have  borne the weight of time
I have ceased to challenge things that I cannot define
So as we both continue on, to rearrange the seas
There is something greater that will counteract our breeze
meet me in the moment and carry me away
tell me there are better things in store for us today
tell me you're a dreamer, night can be our guide
we can live inside our heads, a place for us to hide
space will claim our bodies and bind them in a knot
keep them where the people are but never let them rot
time is not the issue, granted we're asleep
riding out infinity like rivers running deep
synchronized completely, a level playing field
fluid rationality is finally unsealed
title taken from Alt-J's "Tessellate"
(8:20 P.M.)
I'm out my back door
and into the cities
I've got my hat, phone, wallet,
lighter and keys.
It's a short little walk,
the gas stations not far.
I see where they parked,
I enter the car.

(8:30 P.M.)
Kelsey grabs my hand
and looks me in the eye,
she ignores the centipedes
she sees,
or at least she tries,
she then calmly explains
she's out-of-bodied
the entire car ride
and how she's been
counting the stars
even though its not quite night.
She says we're swimming
through the mountains
and climbing up the seas
but from where I'm sitting
we're still in the back seat.
I ask, "Hey, what's she on?"
"I think LSD.
But don't worry, it's cool,
she's dating the guy
throwing this thing."

(8:40 P.M.)
It's a twenty minute ride,
crammed into the Taurus,
but Ashley's in the front,
getting shots poured out for us.
"To a good night!"
We laugh and proclaim,
we down the first drinks
and start the pre-game.
Hennepin then Franklin
then Grand avenue.
We've already got a buzz
now were smokin buds, too.

(9:05 P.M.)
We pull up
just as the suns going down
and as the moon peeks her face
out from under the clouds.
There's already some kid
face down in the grass
some brilliant soul's pulled his pants down
and sharpied his ***.
I guess he shouldn't have passed out
with his shoes still on;
hopefully nobody patrolling
sees him lying in the lawn.

(9:06 P.M.)
The second thing we notice
are the angels on the porch
They've already bent their halos
and lost their wings, of course.
The beautiful brunette
with half her head shaved
turns to welcome us
with a big friendly wave.
With a smile on her face she says,
"Hi! I'm Mel!
Welcome to our party;
welcome to Hell!"
"Where should we put our drinks?"
"Just leave em in your car!
We've got three kegs
and our very own bar!"
We're escorted inside,
in front of at least a hundred people,
and brought to the roof
with a sign that reads Steeple.

(9:20 P.M.)
Jon's tipping a bottle,
just waiting for Kelsey.
He asks her right away,
"Babe, will you marry me?"
She's too far gone
to know what to say,
so he wraps her in a hug
that makes everything okay.
It's clearly a cute joke,
just some little spiel,
but Kels is so high
she thinks that it's real.

(10:30 P.M.)
We all decide its best
if we leave those newly wed
because, to be frank,
there was a lot of PDA going on in their bed.
Mel starts to lead us
down the winding stairs,
by now the broken halo
escaped from her hair.
She said seeing Kels and Jon
made her feel lonely
so she needs another drink
and wants to get to know me.

(11:45 P.M.)
As it turns out
she's a good partner for pong;
but now she wants to sneak off,
to go rip up her ****.
So we take a trip down the hall
and slide through her door.
let me preface this part:
I never expect to score.

(11:50 P.M.)
She gives the lighter a spark.

(11:53 P.M.)
We're making out in the dark.

(12:15 A.M.)
The silence is broken,
we hear someone scream.
We look at each other,
"What the Hell could that mean?"

(12:20 A.M.)
We're scared, so we joke
about what it could be.
The most likely reason?
Something scared the heavens out of Kelsey.
We say she's probably worried
about alien transplants
and the whole entire time
I'm not wearing my pants.

(12:21 A.M.)
"The cops are here!"
I jumped and ran from her bed.
I don't think I'll see those red skinny jeans
ever again.
I manage a quick goodbye
and then I'm into the Hall.
I find my friend Ashley
and our sober cab Paul.
"Kelsey's with the cops
and Tom left with Nancy,
our cars down the road,
lets head to the street."

(12:25 A.M.)
As we sneak out the back
we hear the cops speak:
"The first kid we found
had **** drawn on his **** cheeks."

(1:05 A.M.)
After a while
the three of us arrive,
back to my place,
though we started with five.
The drive back was extended,
even if Paul was driving well,
because in my drunken stupor
I made him stop at Taco Bell.
We head through the porch,
My roommate's still up.
He asks if we wanna drink
and then goes to grab cups.

(1:50 P.M.)
After a few rounds of Kings
Paul's on the couch, fast asleep,
and James went downstairs,
It's just me and Ashley.

(2:00 A.M.)
We turn a movie on
and we sit in my bed.
We discuss all the things
going through both of our heads.
For three straight hours
she flirted up some guy
'til his girlfriend walked in
and started to cry.
She called Ashley a *****
who swore she didn't know
while dude stared at the ground
and said, "Sorry, bro."
Ashley had enough,
she hates being called a guy,
so she winded one up
and kissed her fist to his eye.

(3:00 A.M.)
We didn't watch the movie,
we just talked some more,
until we fell asleep
keeping one another warm.
Two old friends,
two trips in different Hells
and the only thing to do afterwords
was to laugh at ourselves.
Two old friends,
who's hunt for love was a blunder,
who consoled their loneliness
by wrapping up in each other.
The times aren't meant to be read with the poem, just to give it more style, aesthetically.
One day I went fishing, unloaded at the dock
And picked up on the sadness that the earth was giving off
No matter where I wandered, I always felt its pain
It matched the kind inside of me for it was all the same
The day had passed so quickly, the night would soon be here
Intensify despondency and make me disappear
I knew I needed something, the thought had not caught on
'Til weariness displaced my bones in ground I walked upon
from a conversation I had with someone about fishing as a child
tossing all night. no sleep.
i turn hoping to see your name
on the screen glowing florescent.
you've been gone for 28 days and still
i miss you more each day.
some days
it feels like you forget who i am,
but then you come back
and whisper an endearing word,
brush your hands through my hair,
***** and knotted,
and i turn back into you.

starving for attention,
longing for truth.
you tell me what you don't want,
but what about what you do.
i stop and wait for a glimpse
of what is really on your mind.

you are the mind no cipher can solve,
your heart blocked by pain,
mine weary from deceit.

we do not belong together,
yet i want nothing more
than to turn over and see you
smiling back at me.
your piercing green eyes
saying the things
your parted lips are too nervous
to release.

my inability to breathe increases.
my legs shake.
my eyes water.
my fingers twitch.
I go to tell you that I cannot see you anymore.
I turn over and see your name,
and everything is fine again.

i am weak.
but you make me stronger.
Free write about the one I have been told I should, "drop kick out of [my] life."
tonight I'll fall asleep
to the sound of rain
falling on this old roof
though I long for it to be
the sound of your uneasy
breathing with the occasional
skipping of our heartbeats
-
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