Jahania Renteria

Sep 2014

Joshua Haines

Monday morning vultures at your feet
Carelessly as you sleep
Sentimental weeping not without a blind headache
I imagine that you'd run away

I was carried to a burning landscape by the arms of trees
I dug my hands into the soil and pulled out the spine of the terrain
I love with the curiosity of acidic rain
And the fire that burns inside burns through the smother of pain

Floating onto too much too soon, to be without an impending doom,
and to shame my feelings to a newly familiar tune,
brings what was happiness
and transforms it into sitting alone in a dark room
muttering, "I was happy, I was carried into a heart by the arms of trees."

Jahania Renteria Sep 2014

Stronger Still

My bones are made of Iron
My blood is Ichor
My voice is Steel
And my Will is stronger still

Sep 2014

Kristo Frost

Secret

This notebook and I share a secret,
which I will never reveal.

This notebook, on the other hand,
has at times sleighted me slightly.

This notebook is not to be trusted,
for if I trust it, I may be betrayed.

This notebook and I share a secret;
it will never be told lest I talk.

Thanks to all the readers!

Jahania Renteria Jul 2014

Prefernce

Preferring blue to green
to you is the same as preferring her to me
I don’t know if you can tell but I can see what you’re doing
It hurts but I try not to care
Why should I?
It’s not like I’m your first born
The reason you are a father in the first place
The one killing herself for the top grades
Eating herself to death to fill a hole you left behind
That doesn’t matter
No, not to you
Why would it?
I mean it’s no different from preferring sunny days to rainy days
It’s not like whenever you call I’m covering for her telling you she isn’t home
Because she doesn’t want to speak to you
Not like that at all
Because I don’t care
I really don’t not even a little bit
So continue to prefer her because I can tell you one thing
She sure as hell doesn’t prefer you

Jahania Renteria Jul 2014

Glad To Know

I’m glad to know my feelings don’t mean as much as yours
I’m glad to know that I can stand here and listen to your pain but you never remember mine
Glad to know I can talk you off the edge
Glad to know it won’t hurt you when I fall off my own
Glad to know that I won’t be missed
So happy that I can smile and cover up the pain
Happy that I can play second when I was here first
So ******* happy to know that I no longer mean as much
Glad to know I was useful in some ways
Glad to know that my guilt won’t affect you
So freaking glad that my problems are nothing unless they are getting in the way of me lifting you up
Glad to know that your head is above water even as I drown

Jahania Renteria May 2014

wondering in fear

Flinching at the angry screams wondering if I should intervene
No one is as happy as they claim to be
And its starting to worry me
But what if I'm wrong jumping to wild conclusions
Creating problems where they don't need to be
Making things worse so I'll just leave it be