half past 9 the sun just went down. the burning of the stars reminded me of her.
i found her in the bathtub.
as soon as i walked in i knew something was wrong; the curtain was closed.
i open it.
oh my god

the water was red
her wrist; displayed on the edge of the tub
you could see her veins
*oh my god

Everyone talks about how the night is beautiful. In our poems, we compare it to love, we compare it to existence. We compare it to eternity.
But night, it's not beautiful
1. it's cracking under the pressure. You're gonna fail your exam, you're gonna let everyone down. Your thoughts turn grey-no one will love me, I'll never graduate, I'll turn to turning tricks for my income.
2.It's silent it's so ******* silent you can hear the voices whispering they tell you your not good enough. They tell you to drown yourself they tell you to drink the bleach, take the pills, make a noose, cut deep.
3. Remember the night the night you attempted to end your own life? And how your mother didn't even cry when you ended up in the hospital drinking charcoal to soak up her pills
It's so dark.
4. There are monsters that surround you,but your walls are made of mirrors. You're only fearing yourself.

why am i so tired? have i completely given up? has the river stopped flowing? have you turned it into mud?
are you happy? or do you think of death? do you still dream? is the terror coming back?
can you see my heart? can you feel the grave? do you understand? is it time?

time for the parade? are you broken? can you fix it?
will you kiss me? can you feel it?

can you tell me the reason you shake?
whats your favorite song? favorite lyric? does it represent who you are?
do you know who you are? will you show me?
if not, can i help you find out?

can you feel the heat? or is temperature dropped cold?

is heaven just a place? or a feeling? is the devil coming close? can you feel his heart beating? do you reach out? who is it you trust?
why are your eyes so swollen? have you been crying? do you see the world in grey? is it black and white and blue? bruised like your thighs? cut like your wrist?

why do your eyes spill? is the universe so cruel?

do you love yourself? do you even like yourself? do you know who you are? do you know who you are? do you know who you are? do you know who i am? can you help me find out?

one.
i saw you standing by the tree at her funeral. nobody knew you were the reason.


two.
she used to talk about you all the time. your laugh, your eyes, oh she was infatuated with your eyes. the night she walked in on you and her-she was completely silent.


three.
nobody knew if that was the reason she killed herself. but in her note it was the only thing she left out.

Sun will scream mercy
And the fire spreads quickly
Blood will drip from skies

is there water in your lungs? fire in your veins? poison in your blood?

tell me why you cant sleep at night


the whole worlds asleep and you're awake drowning in thoughts of suicide
listening to the demons cry


have you ever felt so used up that you couldn't heave breath from your chest?
do you know what it's like to feel nothing at all?
or everything at once? can you tell me why you're eyes don't shine anymore?
they were once filled with light-they were so bright.

i know you feel like nothing is okay
but darling, i will kiss your scars

I'm ruining my insides so you can see my bones.