jacqui
American
Just a young college girl who loves school, friends, family and her cats. I love writing and reading. I regularly attend open mic nights. I'm apart of a group called Campus Educators on Sexual Assault. I'm working hard to defeat rape culture and play an active role in feminism. I just love life.
I wrote you a letter every month we were together,
so you would know how much you really mean.
It entailed my thoughts,
through the written words,
my love for you was told.
A present for you, at one time,
just a reminder for how long you had been mine.
But besides these letters,
I spoke the truth,
You were to know how I felt every day,
so that not one second would you doubt my love.
I begged and bargained with those up above,
that you would understand my love,
you did and you smiled,
as my words and my gestures were strong and enough,
Not one second did you forget my love.
As we began to grow,
a future in tow,
another letter written with love.
I realized I forgot to see,
if you loved me.
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 10:11 AM UTC
The 'Hello Beautiful!'
and the warm hugs,
just the thought brings a smile to my face.
Your kind words and soothing phrases I have not heard before,
heart-fluttering, soul-smiling, refreshing, breathtaking.
When our hands are gently laced,
or even when I squeeze,
the world doesn't seem as scary
and the monsters aren't really that bad.
As we sing along to the radio,
our melodies of life overlap,
worlds and song colliding,
still saying on the same track.
My demons are hiding,
as you push them away,
they can't hurt me when I am with you.
Two halves don't make a whole,
for us,one and one makes a better two.
My happiness is hard to put down into words,
as nothing seems to come out right.
A smile is constant on my face,
I fall asleep calmly each and every night.
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 12:50 PM UTC
I want to live a life worth living,
one that I can smile at every day.
A life that does more good than harm,
one where I have the final say.
My life is mine to live,
it isn't for anyone else.
A life where I embrace the doubt.
For every day is not perfect,
and I may scream and I may cry.
But at the end of the day I want to go to sleep,
knowing that I've tried.
My life is mine to embrace,
take in all the love and all the fears.
For life isn't always kittens and rainbows,
and it isn't always nightmares and tears.
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015 at 9:25 AM UTC
Why hello there,
these feelings that have been hidden!
You came out of nowhere,
escaped the depths of the walls in my heart!
You demanded your way out,
no choice be to be felt.
The smile is swept across my face,
and I can feel the happiness radiating from the core of my soul.
The way you make me feel is a beautiful one,
and the feelings I feel are exhilarating.
My body is rejuvenated with the passion of you.
The newness and the greatness of you,
overwhelms my body,
pulls me under.
And those breaths of air are just enough.
Feb 5, 2015
Feb 5, 2015 at 1:51 PM UTC
You've poisoned my once favorite songs
as I sing the words I can only taste your mouth.
As my music use to be my escape
Now, it pulls me back under.
I'm trying to swim
with weights around my ankles,
and waves that keep pushing me down.
Where is the shore?
As the lyrics play through my mind,
my heart sinks to my stomach.
The memories of us replace the rhythms,
and my sad broken heart, replaces the happiness I use to feel.
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014 at 10:15 AM UTC
When I was younger my sister asked me what was love.
I told her it is when you care about someone a lot.
This definition is result of my innocence, of my age.
I did not know when I told her that love would be the heart-wrenching terribly beautiful story that it is.
I didn't know that you would give your all to someone who would just walk out the door.
That you could picture your life with them as a main character... just to have them find someone else.
I could not tell my sister that your heart will drop into your stomach when you think they might be gone.
That you might need constant reassurance for days to come, as that evil thought still clouds your mind.
I couldn't tell my sister that sometimes it is a one way street. That sometimes you will do all the loving.
I couldn't tell my sister that the pain of lost love, will haunt your next love. That it is a break that will never mend.
I couldn't tell my sister that your heart still drops when you think of them.
My sister didn't know that your happiness may be set aside, and you'll look out for someone else.
Though, I could tell her now.
I could tell her how you feel you are floating on air and how each day just seems better.
How your jaw hurts from smiling and your stomach from laughing.
How the happiness you feel with another, is indescribable.
I could tell her how life seems easy and the future looks bright.
I could tell my sister how you long to form memories and want to create a world.
But,
what I couldn't tell my sister,
is how amazing it felt to hold your hand.
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 1:13 PM UTC
I write the words that I wish I could hear,
they flow from my lips, from my fingertips.
A gentle sound that wraps around my mind,
a peaceful world encompasses my soul as I write.
I record what is important to me.
As the way I feel and what I wish I could hear,
power this drive to fill the world with my words.
I speak to those that I care,
I will use my words to share
the way that I feel,
as words can have such an effect,
and I do not want to let any feelings be left.
While my words may not change lives, or move mountains,
they release my soul and make the weight lift off my shoulders.
While when I write it might not be exactly how I feel,
it is the words and feelings that I wish to hear.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 9:04 AM UTC
A life with you seems so perfect to me,
I feel your arms around me and know it’s meant to be.
The smile that stretches across my face when you’re around
And the way you make my laugh sound.
A day with you is more than I could need,
But a lifetime with you sounds so amazing to me.
Whispering in your ear every single day,
Holding you when there is nothing left to say.
I would love to be there when life is more than you can handle,
I’ll be your warmth, your fire, the match to light your candle.
A world lays beneath my fingertips,
But it would not feel right without your name on my lips.
As I journey throughout life,
As I experience all its beauty,
All I can hope is that with you and I will be,
As a life without you is not one I want to see.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 8:59 AM UTC
When you are gone
the wind will be silent.
All I will hear is the pound of my heart
like the branches on the window.
It will beat harder than before
and I will feel the pain twice as hard.
I will miss you.
My heart will find its home in my stomach.
The laugh that falls from my mouth will be one that leaves an aching pain
as I use to share my laughter with you.
As I lay in my bed all alone
and know that you are not coming back,
I will tuck the pillows around me so my sleeping soul thinks of you.
Only then will I fall asleep.
When they ask about you,
I will smile and carry on.
As that is what I do.
But everyday, oh everyday I will miss you.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 10:29 PM UTC
I’m hung up on a guy that is still in love with you,
Tell me how you did it so I can know what I should do.
Should I call him every night or should I forget about my phone?
Should I laugh at all his jokes or should I make him laugh alone?
You had him by a string, you lead him right along,
And now he’s afraid of me, afraid that I might be gone.
He doesn’t want to get too attached, because of what you have done to him,
So I play games with my heart because of you leaving on a whim.
I don’t know what to do with a boy that is hurt, as I dance around the feelings trying to not be short.
I don’t want to make it seem like I don’t really care, but I don’t want him to run when I start to get near.
He gave is all to you, he loved with all his heart,
And you crushed it, and maimed it and took it all for you,
And none is left for me, so tell me, what is it should I do?
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 6:57 PM UTC