Jacqui

Jacqui Sep 2013

Worry

I can't help but worry,
it's all I do.
I feel as if everything is always in a hurry,
I don't understand and I don't expect you to.

It's hard to feel okay when it is all I know,
I think anything different is a show.

I try to trust,
but my mind constantly wonders down a road,
a road that is quite scary,
and I always walk it alone.

I encounter different strangers on this quiet path,
we talk for sometime,
but none of them seem to last.

I wish I believed as I once did,
but I can't anymore, I'm no longer a kid.

9/27/13 This is how my anxiety feels to me and how it affects my relationships.

Jacqui Sep 2013

My Love for You

My love for you.
Is just that.
It’s all the words I have left unspoken.
It is all the things I wish you have said to me.
I do not understand
How something so good…like loving you..
Could hurt someone so bad.

Jacqui Sep 2013

Song

What could I have done?
To do you so wrong
That all I feel from you now is that I am shunned.
I know I was once a song
a song that you could sing along,
but now I am the distant tune.

You change the radio when you hear this song.
When the lyrics speak true to your mind,
ignore what we had,
pretend that these words and the melody
do not make you think of me.

We do not speak any longer,
but only through song.
I feel your pain
but I do not know
this song.

9/16/13

Jacqui Sep 2013

Safe

I wake every day
and I forget that I am lucky to live.
Every day people wake up
and realize that they have been granted another day.
This world is a terrifying place
and I seem to forget that in my tiny world.
I seem to forget that any moment,
this building could fall,
someone could shoot,
my car could crash.
This world seems too safe
but that's only to me.
Living in my safe bubble.
I am terrified of the truth
of the fact
that I'm not safe.
That
no
one
is
safe.

9/16/2013

Jacqui Sep 2013

music

The music seeps into my soul
It becomes my thoughts
The notes become the blood
Rushing through my veins
My feet start to move as easily
As my lungs keep me breathing
All of the minuscule details that I fight with every day
Disappear.
I feel free.
Peaceful.
Beautiful.

9/16/2013

Jacqui Sep 2013

Broken

Broken things are ugly
That is what they teach us.
They teach us to fix them,
Throw them out,
To buy something new.
But what happens when the broken things
Are irreplaceable?
When there is no more left on the shelves?
What happens when the broken things
Cannot be fixed?
When everything is just so broken
And shattered.
But what happens when the broken things
Are us?
When the broken pieces are not a screen,
When the broken pieces are of a heart,
The bone
The skin.
When the broken pieces are invisible.
When you know it is damaged,
But you cannot see why.
You don’t know how to fix it.
What do you do
When the broken things
Are beautiful?
Do you love them?
Do you learn about the cracks?
Do you try to fix them?
Or do you try to find something less broken?
But nothing is more beautiful
Than something broken.

9/16/2013

Jacqui Sep 2013

I sit

I sit here,
Counting the moments,
Counting the time,
As it passes,
I want this to be over.
I don’t want you to be there.
No more in my thoughts.
I can’t be alone,
Not even in my mind.
Sometimes;
That is all I want.
When will the peace come?
I quiet the thoughts.
It’s time for sleep.

11/5/2012