In my dreams
I wail and beg
For longing fingers
Like spider legs
They wrap and
Weave me
Like a web
I will sink in silence
To keep you fed

Keep your head up, Moon Mother
For your day has yet to come
If you want to find the light
Do not go in search of sun
For it only shines but half the time
And you, are made of fire
Come night or day
You’re made of flames
And your warmth will not expire

Keep your head up, sweet child
For tomorrow brings new hope
You have climbed much higher mountains
You have slipped on steeper slopes
Yet here you are, and a force you are
You are what cannot be beat
With galaxy eyes and bones of stars
On your own you are complete

Keep your head up, lovely human
For your wounds will heal again
Right now it seems unbearable  
But this pain, it is your friend
And though you may struggle
To keep moving forward
Please, do not dismay
Look in the mirror, find your voice
I’ll tell you what to say:

What is for you
Will always find you
The words you speak
Will always bind you
What you suffer
Does not define you
They who love you
Will not confine you
Just keep going
Your heart will guide you

Walk with me
Into the unknown
Into all that
We as humans
Fear to walk into
Walk with me
I will not leave your side
Through that which
I have dreamt
That which you
Cannot see
Walk with me
If you must
Choose a road to take
A route to go
A sentence for your soul
I will watch you
Blind and unburdened
Take the wrong way home
Through thick, spiny brush
We will get lost
Passing daylight like
Precious time knocked
Off our lifelines
Walk with me
In circles, endless circles
Walk with me
Through the blame
Through the lackluster days and nights
Through the contempt and contemplation
Walk with me
I know you
Took the wrong turn miles and miles back
It was not in my power to sway you
From where your heart felt it must go
So I will take your hand
And I will still
Walk with you there

I look into myself
The way I look down a well
I call into myself and
Hear miles worth of echoes
I drop a stone into myself
To see how far down I’ve fallen
I listen and wait to hear
The stone reach the bottom
Of all that I am
With each passing moment
The realization becomes
Evermore heavy
I am too far down to reach
No rope in the world
Should bring me back up

When the night is dark
And full of pain
I hear your voice
I see your face
I’ve got the world to give
And nothing to gain
Love will lose
But not in vain

I do not shine like a morning rose
Though it is the thorns, not the petals you chose
And the wound in my heart, it grows and grows
What was once a fire must have froze

Instead I gleam like polished knives
A vessel at best that’s broken inside
I seem to see what others can’t find
And when we stand the test of time
I like to run, you like to hide

I toss and turn in my empty bed
Avoiding the spot where you laid your head
I brought you peace with the words I read
I should have been resting myself instead

I can feel your presence slipping away
And heartache is the price I pay
Where there is a will there is a way
I want to heal, you want me to stay

So I mourn over an empty grave
For what I tried but could not save
See, you like paths that are not paved
Just please
Do not get lost

And when our ties should finally sever
I tried to warn you
I’d not be here forever

Like an early morning fog
I feel this haze
Above me, below me
All around me
There is no sunshine
Only grey
All grey
This is where
You wanted me to stay
I could not live there

I could not scrub you from my skin
So I painted it red
Only red
All red
Just so I could breathe again
Not feel again
Be me again
Survive again

I could not wipe you from my eyes
So I painted them black
Only black
All black
Just so I could see again
So I could sleep again
It runs down my face
Like a race for my aching heart

You left this
Catastrophic pit
In my chest
I fill it with anger and smoke
It is all I know to do
Without you

Without you

I wake up
Without you
I open my mouth
And nothing comes out
Without you
I have to go on
Without you

An aberration
A moment of happiness
Of peace and all
That felt right
After everything
That was wrong
I should have known
It would be fleeting
But this is more
Than I was ready for

A ship cannot sink
Unless the water
Creeps inside
And I let you inside
I welcomed the whole
******* sea
Creatures
And monsters
I welcomed it all
And for the first time
I wasn’t afraid of drowning

It is love
That brought us together
And it is love
That will keep us apart

You are
The full moon
I stared at from a car window
As a child
On a long ride home

The sun beaten spot
On the floor
I seek, like a purring cat
For warmth

The foamy ocean wave
That stops just before my shoes
At the shore
Of the edge of the world

The exquisite fallen leaf
From an autumn tree
In the center of a forest
Filled with solitude

The smell of sawdust
Gasoline and
Damp basement

The crackling aftermath of fireworks
Cacophonous church bells
And deafeningly silent snowfall

The sunken benzodiazepine mattress
Disheveled hair brushed out of my face
A chronographic measure of a heart beating

The necrotizing infatuation of mortality
A dancer trapped and tangled in tissue
An oscillating fan in the summer night

The hand pressing down on my hip
Swishing of a brand new switchblade
Fibonacci sequence knots in fresh cedar wood

The polished stone between my fingers
A drop of black ink on eggshell stationary
And the soft glow of a night light

You are a collection
Of the best, unspoken
Parts of me