Laptop lens views world;
death by nature, death by man.
Hearts weep as souls fly.

the setting sun
blood red orb falling into mercury sea
soft breeze tracing your skin like a lover’s caress
stillness
so pure

inky blackness falls
an endless arch peppered with stars
planets blink
flying fish dance
phosphorescence sparkles green
luminous in the wake of your footfall

and so you sit
breathing
absorbing
the very essence of earth, sea and sky

the moon rises full
swollen with fecundity
silence embraces you
life’s negativity is cleansed from your soul

and so you sit
dreaming
wishing on a star

the sun rises
pink, peach, soft
enveloping your being
giving birth to a brand new day

to a brand new you

setting sun

blood red orb falling into mercury sea

breeze gentle like a lover’s caress

a stillness so pure



inky blackness

endless arch peppered with stars

planets blink, flying fish dance

phosphorescence luminous in the wake of your footfall



and so you sit

breathing

absorbing

the very essence of earth, sea and sky



moon rise

full, swollen with fecundity

silence embraces you

life’s negativity is cleansed from your soul



and so you sit

dreaming

wishing on a star



sun rise

pink, peach, soft

enveloping your being

giving birth to a brand new day



to a brand new you

In a place
that I am beyond

Floating
Looking down on a life that was
that is no more

Running in my mind
Impatient
Fingers drumming in my consciousness
a marching song

Building up the courage
to do what must be done

In a place
that I am beyond

Floating
Looking down on a life that was
that is no more

Running in my mind
Impatient
Fingers drumming in my consciousness
a marching song

Wrapped up in red
and tied with silver
a small painting
you made in school

Given with a smile
and a whole lot of love
Van Gogh's Sunflowers
don't hold a torch to this

I may not be a mother
nor a sister
nor an aunt
I may not have family to visit

But ...

7 years old
you prove so well
that family do not have
to share blood

It is strange
yet not
being back here on
the isle of my forefathers
Of I

Everything is different
yet
nothing has changed

Seagulls call and
the air smells of seaweed
There are pink flowers in baskets
and the sky is blue
That endless blue of timeless childhood summers

Here my name is not an aberration
'ueu' is an everyday tripthong
'Le' a rule not an exception
I am not an exception either

After half a century
discovery
I am one of a tribe after all

Ancestors
people I have never known
not even in name lest alone body
Reaching way back in time
Predominantly French
or of this isle

The Germans
photographed every islander
when they occupied this dot of granite
as bombs fell on Europe in a rain of death

The Occupation was a dark period of
hunger and cruelty
but thanks to these photos
I have seen my heritage
etched on faces so familiar
yet never met

I learned just now
my paternal grandfather had gunshot wounds
along his right side and arm and leg
Mementos of the Somme
of Passchedale
and Ypres

I discovered he died of
carcinoma of the lungs
like my mother
my uncle
several aunts
and my Pa

He survived four years of the Great War
water logged trenches
blood-rusty bayonets
horror and starvation
Just one of a few to come home
Military Medal pinned to his chest
5 feet tall yet battle hardy
witnessing things
doing things
no man nor woman should ever do

But Grandpa (how joyous to hear that word on my lips!)
couldn't defeat
the silent enemy
that waged its war within

All this new knowledge
somehow makes me feel older
Not in years
but in history

Tattoos of my heritage
now pattern my bones

My parents are both dead
I have no siblings
no partner
no children
but now I am
no longer alone

tossing
restless
the in-between space
of darkness before sleep

cogs turning
in the engine of mind
need oiling
no shops open

dawn
light through the window
illuminating corners
where no one can hide

concrete canyons
threaded
with ribbons of sky

streams
of humanity
flowing between

multi-coloured
side-by-side
kilometres apart

lives touching
but not
connecting

an unsustainable journey

gliding through unbroken water
night-cooled hands
caressing my body
unhindered sun baking my shoulders

myriad of rainbows
reflecting in ripples
on the bottom of the pool
on the surface of my consciousness

sliding
slicing
from light into shadow
shadow into light

until the sun rises high in the sky
until only the silhouette of a flickering palm
casts its mark
in the blueness beneath

muscles pumping
heart beating
blood charging
lightening in my veins

Phoenix

born of fire and water

soaring

the bottom has fallen
out of my world
but I cannot leave it
like that

what good would that do?

I have to rebuild
its substance
somehow
sticks & stones no use

only love & fortitude need apply

but where to find them
when anger pervades?
anger that’s fruitless
I know, I know

but heart is ruling cerebrum

heart is ruling cerebrum
heart is ruling cerebrum
but why not?
I’m only human

aren’t I?

so is he
and herein lies the challenge
humanity, its endless cycles
of life and death

and life again

I believe in that
in life again
I do
in many forms

it’s the transition that hurts

know that I love you
I always have
and
always will

You are a part of me of you

I am by your side
to hold your hand
a shoulder to cry on
if you need to

here for you

as you always have been for me

I love you, Pa

vanda miss joaquim
lying bruised and battered
on the shore
what is your story

the gift of a lover
given with a smile
with tender words whispered
from a heart filled with hope
and a body aching with desire

or perhaps
you carry in your memories
memories of one who has journeyed
beyond this life
ashes of their earthly body
scattered at sea
you in their wake

or perhaps
perhaps
you were carried to the shore
on the wings of the wind
plucked from your stem
floating to where
silver foam kisses golden sand
dancing this way and that
in the embrace of the ocean

where
finally
in the face of unrequited love
you relinquish your flawless beauty
to its graceful omnipotence

Seductive songsters
woo  with sweet dawn melodies;
grey heron takes flight.

when I was young
the sun always shone
in the summer

the sky was a paint-by-numbers colour
blue thick and solid
always there

the grass was the green
of a dragon’s back
long and populated with insects

birds sung
from morning to night
the air was fragranced with roses

days lasted for ever
sleeping with sand between my toes
dried salt on my skin

we collected winkles for supper
running back up the hill
shells clanking in the bucket

shelling peas on the back step
popping them open
with our thumbs

I know in my heart
it rained sometimes
but it never mattered then

Dreams echo in the
winter of words. Catalysts
or chains? ...perception

rivers of metal
unable to flow
trapped
by sheer volume
in gorges of girded concrete

fingers drumming
frustrated heartbeats
on immobilised steering wheels
imprisoned
impotent
feeling the passage of
time that doesn’t wait

slumped under a tree
in the centre of the city
half-empty bottle by your side
liquid purple ticket
to the dreamtime

eyes shut
foot twitching
a smile on your round black face

lost in ancestral memories
walking the scorched red earth
of Arnhem land
escaping for a while
the hatred of the white New World

Out of madness came serenity
gliding barefoot
across potholed pavements

Swathed in saffron
folded cloth falling gracefully
over peaceful form

Shaven scalp
beatific countenance
eyes cast downwards in respect

Alms bowl held to chest
accepting of all given
accepting if nothing given

Radiant
Present
Awake

A lesson in motionless motion

the sun is at its zenith
blazing down
from an unsullied sky
baking the black sand
beneath my feet
so hot it burns

a strong onshore wind
is chasing luminous white horses
across the surface
of a deep indigo sea
leaving their salty touch
on my skin as it passes

a melody gamelans and drums
gongs and cymbals
laughter and chatter
ripples around me
and the song of an ice cream seller
is making my mouth water

I turn my gaze towards the heavens
watching the kites
write their poetry
in the sky
as they float high above
our sea of sea of smiles

I really really
must not scratch
this itchy itchy itch
but what to do
when all your hands
just want to do is scratch

Diagnosed this morning
by Doctor Wicky Wong
I don't like the look of those
he said
Neither do I
I wished him wrong

Back I went this evening
as more spots they had appeared
He looked a little closer
muttered words I could barely hear
off work 3 days not 1 he said
Contagious these may spread

So here I am at home alone
with nowt to do but write
a load of twaddle on the page
as shingles rages rife
when what I'd really love to do
is sleep say nighty night

Cockerels and crickets,
whispering wind; gentle sun.
Dawn Bali...soul balm

Cockerels and crickets
Bali breezes; gentle sun
Earth spins, beauty dawns

sitting

rivers of Singapore life
flow around me
over me

forever drowning in noise


clatter of plates
rumbling traffic
the discordant wailing of ringtones

diaspora

cultures, colours, faiths
streaming together
oil on water

you stare

‘ang moh,’  you mutter
red haired devil
am I?

alone

you don’t like
to share my table
or sit by me on the bus

and yet

like water on the mountaintop
ever seeking the sea
with gentle persistence we live together

still waters of humanity run deep

sitting eating
rivers of Singapore life
flow around me, over me

forever drowning in noise

clatter of plates
rumbling traffic
the discordant wailing of ringtones

diaspora

cultures, colours, faiths
streaming together
oil on water

often you stare
‘ang moh,’  you mutter
'red haired devil'

you don’t like
to share my table
or sit by me on the bus

and yet

like water on the mountaintop
ever seeking the sea
with gentle persistence we live together

still waters of humanity run deep

tossing and turning
in that chambered space
between
wakefulness and sleep

exhaustion
moving like molasses
in my veins

no way out

They stared at you
they did
At your difference

At your height
At your eyes
At the curve of your spine

They did not see
what I did

You asked to
clear my plate
A raised eyebrow
and eye connection
No words

I smiled with you
eyes to eyes
Said yes
please

You asked me
how my meal was
A circle of your
thumb and forefinger

I smiled with you
eyes to eyes
And said yes
thank you

You walked away
In your shuffle
I saw a
spring in your step

Behind you
you left a
spring in my heart

pacing
pacing
down, up

around
the house
a tiger caged

caged?
no...
I am free

caged?
yes...
in the turmoil of my mind

no idea
which way to
turn

no idea
what to
do

go?
stay?
go?

will he even
know
who I am?

does it matter?
it does
to me

we don't treat
animals
like this

prison we'd
be in
if we did

but when
it comes
to those we love

we have to
stand by
helpless

hour on hour
moment by moment
watching

my father
stripped
of dignity

dying
atom by atom
trying so hard to stay

why Pa?

bed wetting
dribbling
loss of lucidity

do I go?
do I stay?
do I go?

tiger caged
paces
into the darkness

bed shared with i. Pad.
shadowed sleep greets echoed dawn
as soul whispers hope.

Poison delivered
in the chalice of your smile.
Thundered love the prize.

piercing
an arrow shaft of pain
from nowhere
straight through my heart

where are you
why did you leave
I miss you
more, so much more

you're not there
at the end of the phone
your voice
my port in a storm

I miss you
more, so much more
tears from nowhere
rivers of pain

you're there
somewhere
where the birds always sing
and the flowers always bloom

I love you Pa