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I want to SCREAM!
I want to never be seen...

But I saw you,
And YOU SAW ME!

I keep feeling like you used me,
You lied to me and your love,
And one truth was more than the other,

Take your apologies,
                   They are the weight of paper
                                                                                                            *To me.
EMS
I was a Paramedic
I saved lives
Prolonged great inevitable grief
Witnessed the grotesque miracle of unexpected birth
And the ****** it brings
Sat on my *** became complacent
And depressed
Forgot to put into what was being taken from me
Over and over
I worked and came home to silence and destitude
I craved the excitement like a ******* would payday
I worked with the greatest personalities people that wouldn't back down
I had no gun
No hero complex
I used to be a Paramedic
There's a little boy named Collin,
Who lives just outside my head.
He asked me to share our secret.
And that secret is, he's dead.

He lives in my peripheral vision,
And vacations in my dreams.
Sometimes he's very sad,
But he's not as lonely as he seems.

He tells me stories of his other mom,
Her name, in fact, was Kim,
She loved him very much you see,
But she could not save him.

Collin burnt up one day,
When a bad man bombed a church,
He cries when I sing him hymns,
He tells me that it hurts.

I let him cry on my lap,
And I tell him about that moon,
And in my dreams, if he wanted,
He could go there very soon.

We stayed there for three days,
And we ate all the moon cheese,
But when it was time to go home,
Collin wasn't pleased.

We have a summer home there now.
Other stories about Collin can be found in the collection "Son", which you can find if you look in the notes down below.
This, it
In us,
We you,
Again.

It is
In us,
This, you, we
Again.
Stiletto** marks in the tarmac,
City's been so hot it melted.
Linen shorts replaced by less;
In the evening, it's cooler.

Black lights and black bras
Glowing tops and blue tongues.
*** on the beach; one drink
Too many. But it's worth it.

Tongue piercing and
Two Prince Alberts
Discovered in a hurry.
It rocked fast like the night.

*** on the beach. One more.
We did it again.
Spilt a little. Blue stain
To match her tongue.

It's a work out. Higher heels
That make no mark.
The tarmac is safe;
Can't get stuck.

Glow sticks and necklaces
To hide the stains.
Top's still glowing
And every smile shines.

Black light. Black light.
Black light. Blue tongue.
Blue stain. White top.  
Black hair. Black light.

Then Dawn arrives
Bringing a sobering breeze
And destroying the fake light.
It's time for linen again.
?
A question posed to each of you
The clueless, helpless we
If I told of a different view
Could you close your eyes and see?

Of what? A crumbling wall; a lapse
A train without a brake

Consider it not an end, my friend
Begin, for beginning's sake..
My mother tried to send herself to hell,
and in turn, my sister did the same.
Only, my sister succeeded,
at 11:03 am, there for the eyes
of her five year old child.

You see, I’ve never known poverty
or what it’s like to drive a used car
because we bathed in money
to drown out the sorrows,
and we tossed our spare change in garbage cans
to try and lose the devil.

What if Shakespeare’s not right,
and all the demons aren’t here?
What if my sister plunged herself into a hole
filled with all of her darkest fears?
I swear to God himself, I hope he’s right,
because I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,
I can’t even imagine.
Don't be disheartened if you miss the bus
There'll be misses, life is not all plus
Let not your heart despair in one bad weather
Know for sure for each missed bus there'll be another.
Don't be crestfallen if one chance goes past you
There'll be lost chances but you will get your due
Let not your resolves die in one chance gone
Know for sure many more for you will come along.
Don't be heart broken if you fail once and again
Life is not all tenderness without the thorn's pain
Let not your determination evaporate and die
Know for sure beyond failure chance of success is high.
Don't be fed up with life even if your days are dark
There'll be darkness but through it you make your mark
Let not your soul be stopped from seeking out the light
Know for sure the sun is waiting beyond the dark night.
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