Tired

[So very
*******
Tired]

Cant sleep
Fractured
De-railed.

I am pale
Looking
Feeling
Fading

I am wading
In my own
Muck and mire.
Too much fire
For a fish that needs
Motion/swell/ a tide
Deep sea.

I am too far within me
With no vision
Of the other side
I am alive
And breathing
But can’t bear
The weight
Of feeling.
Plagued
I am of
Nightmares
And broken
Sleep.
A one way street
Facing
The wrong
Direction.
I am sections
Of fractions
Of fragments
Of me.
[So very ******* tired]

release me.

Death is death
It is unmistakable
Today I looked into your eyes
And saw more love and calm
Than ever before
I saw in you
An inner peace,
A sanctum shroud
In honour
I heard from you a voice,
Strong and bold,
That had eluded me
Until today.
I felt you
Through my lips
As I placed
A silent kiss
A ripple through my soul
As your love
Flooded
Like my tears
And I said goodbye
Despite not really
Wanting to.
There is love
And there is love.
Thankyou and goodbye.

Today
Life is
A shade
Of dark and royal
Blue.
Today I am concrete,
I am ricochet,
And I am sliding
Like a shadow
Off a wall.
I stand tall
But the sun
Provokes
My silhouette
To shrink and shrivel
And I appear small
To those above me.
They are the wall
I am the nook,
Cavernous and angled
Tucked, chipped and caved
I am ocean spray
And secrets whispered
In the wind.
Blue white and Grey
I am ricochet,
And they are the bullet.
Echoes of emotion and
Commotion;
Like man
I am from mars
And I crawl into myself,
My hole
In my wall.
Today I am small.

Where to begin
I think to myself as I submerge
my thoughts
In you and what it is that
Gives the tick to your tock.
I think of your eyes
And the depth
That lies
Folded within
Green and brown
Layered
Life
Disguised
And smiling.
Lost glasses
And lager
That comes in pints
Accompanied by
Epic
And
Blatant
Action and statement
Your energy blasts
Fast and furious
Frenzy
I sense more to you
Than what meets my eye.
And in that thought
I lie
Here now
Creased brow
In anticipation of knowing you more.
I think of your nails
And the way they touch
Me deeper than
The welts
That are kissed
Crimson stain
Onto my skin.
Your essence
Seeps inside
Within
And bleeds out of my body
Through my lips
As I savour
The flavour
That makes
You taste
So simply
Divine.
You have this way
Of ceasing time
And pausing
The beat of my heart.
Just a smile
Is all it takes
And your laugh,
The way your eyes
Drop low,
The dip of your neck and
The way you glance up
And out from
Under your
Fringe.
You unhinge
The door
That stands
Shut and heavy
Before
My eyes
Wide open
Surprise
As you storm
Into my soul
And take whole
My delight
And spin its
Weave
Into gold.
I am sold
On you
And your cold hands
Warm heart.

Where to begin
I think to myself as I submerge
my thoughts
In you and what it is that
Gives the tick to your tock.
I think of your eyes
And the depth
That lies
Folded within
Green and brown
Layered
Life
Disguised
And smiling.
Lost glasses
And lager
That comes in pints
Accompanied by
Epic
And
Blatant
Action and statement
Your energy blasts
Fast and furious
Frenzy
I sense more to you
Than what meets my eye.
And in that thought
I lie
Here now
Creased brow
In anticipation of knowing you more.
I think of your nails
And the way they touch
Me deeper than
The welts
That are kissed
Crimson stain
Onto my skin.
Your essence
Seeps inside
Within
And bleeds out of my body
Through my lips
As I savour
The flavour
That makes
You taste
So simply
Divine.
You have this way
Of ceasing time
And pausing
The beat of my heart.
Just a smile
Is all it takes
And your laugh,
The way your eyes
Drop low,
The dip of your neck and
The way you glance up
And out from
Under your
Fringe.
You unhinge
The door
That stands
Shut and heavy
Before
My eyes
Wide open
Surprise
As you storm
Into my soul
And take whole
My delight
And spin its
Weave
Into gold.
I am sold
On you
And your cold hands
Warm heart.

Smiles
And kisses
For stiches
Sunshine,
You make my heart
Beat
If ever I were
To wish again
I would wish only for the same.

I cant be everywhere
Inside their minds
And holding firm
Within my own.

I have sewn
My name
Onto my sleeve
So as not to forget
Who I am
and to remember where
I came from
I have drawn a map
Inside my heart
Caged and inked
And spread
Smudged
And corners
Leafed
And burning

I am only here
For now
I can see you
All.