Your heart was Ice while mine was fire
We worked like water and oil
We didn't mix well
My situation was dire
But you were strained like a coil
I ******* up and you said go to hell




My heart is black to match my soul
They say love mends along with time
How much time will it take to mend so that I may love and feel it

I feel weighed down with the possibility that I could have you on my arm but then I realize it's a dream and dreams aren't possible they're wasted on me too I can never let you be happy it seems I'm always so stupid that I push myself into life then I realize it's not impossible just improbable and that means we are impossible and I am a wild dream

I miss your touch I miss your smile I'm jealous that he gets them if we want in that place i'd happily take his place and turn you happy because I know I ******* up when we were us but I'm sorry I truly am sorry I shouldn't have let her get between us because she stole our happiness and in its place put misery and a sense of longing that is the longing to be held close to you again and to see your smile it brightened my day so much but now it darkens my day to think about him getting that smile that I long for so much and the ability to touch you and hold you I don't know if you'd call it love or lust I would call it perfect if I got his position

Life is not this glamorous place it's hell just painted pretty so that we think it's heaven.
I'm going to say death is a luxury of life it's the best part it means no more hell no more heartbreak and no more struggles it's sweet release I mean come on we go through **** daily and still deal with it the next day when you die you don't deal with anything anymore you're gone that's why it's a luxury you don't miss anyone you don't love anyone anymore and you don't have to worry about being wrong your gone and in endless bliss

I love you dear but I love her too my heart says both of you my brain sides with my heart honestly I have no idea do I pick the one I'm with and have loved longer or the newer flare that threw my life in a tailspin and then note regulates my life she keeps me happy and you make me happy everytime you speak to me i have no idea what to do gah my heart is confusing me

Yesterday would have made a year had you loved me
But we got six months before he stepped in
Those six months where heaven
The following six were hell
Yes I still love you but you never will love me
It's nice to see you smiling again that doesn't happen much
It's nice to see him happy even when I'm sad
I don't hate you guys I hate myself for being in between you guys in the first place
I'm sure heaven will be found somewhere else for me but until I find my patch of heaven I'm in hell because of the love that never was

I've always lied to the people i need to be honest with.
I've always tried when I shouldn't.
Life has always crippled me because I let it.
Now that's I've cried and and my pride has died.
I'm going to be me I'll admit I've ******* up I've made my mistakes.
I've dig my grave and I've layer in it.
I've dig my self out after I told people to bury me.
I've never given up because of my pride.
Now I've given up and i feel better than ever because my bravado is gone my lack luster shine is back I've realized my mistakes and i take them back but I have to amend for them i won't be at my best I never was not I've hit the bottom and I stood back up that's what counts I'm proud of myself again for a good reason and not because my pride is foolish I've got to go my mistakes don't fix themselves goodbye old life hero new me