It's life you live you learn,
You hurt you burn,
You cut you bleed,
You're not dead until you soul and heart have agreed

I may not have been fine before I met her but that is because of my past I fell instantly and let her know but back then she didn't care she saw me as weird and creepy I still continued to soak to her though and slowly she warmed up and I grew on her then I moved on my feelings and we were off and on a couple of times then she made me one of the happiest people I know we dated for six months and we never fought I thought it'd be like this forever then mistakes happened my best friend moved in on her and she liked him I found out through a friend of mine that I don't see very often anymore what was happening between them it ripped my heart out because I still was in love with her I lost my happiness and my heart and my best friend in the world I know I'm far from perfect but that is what she was to me she was my perfection

i know you still miss me and u know id take u back in a heartbeat but you're not allowing my heart to beat when you act like you do and give me signals that say "i love you" "i hate you" "get away from me" "come save me" "get away from me" and all i can do is ask myself "does this have a purpose I'm still going to always be here for you I'm not going to let u cry but i cant stand to cry for you when you don't love me anymore my heart beats for u whenever you're happy but my brain is killing me my heart is confusing but i'm beginning to realize i shouldn't listen to either"

Dear love of my life

Tears fall and sleep takes me eventually but I wish the tears never were here I wish I could hide behind our puppy love it took forever for me to find you and six months later I lost you I can't say I'm sorry and mean it because it'd be a lie I'm not sorry I met you I'm not sorry I loved you I'm sorry I still love you and I'm sorry I honestly am that I ever hurt you I never meant to I meant to keep you and be happy I thought I'd found my soul and instead I found a shard of it I'm sorry it ended like it did I'm sorry I scare you and I'm sorry puppy love is puppy love I wish I'd never met you but I'll eventually get over that feeling I'm sorry I messed up I'm sorry I'm forgetful I'm sorry I'm demanding and I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry that I'm sorry is all I can say but this is what I mean when I constantly repeat I'm sorry

Sincerely yours
Your now current ex puppy lover

I look out at my life and ask myself does every little thing have a purpose does it all have a greater meaning will my mistakes haunt me and will my success follow me if not then why do it here presently i am sitting down will i ever sit down in my life beyond our will i never be able to sit when i am tired and standing around will i always be standing around or will i not have legs

Does anyone know that feeling when your head is about to burst and so is your heart and feel like it doesn't matter if you just die slowly and painfully under the radar and just feel if only if only!!!!