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1.8k · Aug 2013
My Addicted past
Jacob Peters Aug 2013
I'm not quite sure how addiction grabbed me
I picked it up slow but it grew so vastly
Started with *****
which turned to puffs, powder and pills
both downs and ups
  I'd have one in my hand
two more in my pocket
effects don't matter
just want to skyrocket
Please, take me away
to the places of unknown
help me escape
sober feelings, I've outgrown
No happy soul
been broken to pieces
the puzzle repairs
each time the **** hits
Hiding away
from both friends and family
deny every time
so please stop asking
A boy, once joyous
now fell from grace
peace of mind only comes
from numbing his face
No pride, sheer shame
pure feelings of failure
thoughts run wild'
Will it all end here?'
Partners in crime
now long deceased a harsh realization
of succumbing to the beast
Praying for help and
pleading for power
rise and prevail
stop trying to cower
There's a want and a need
plus strong will to succeed
to turn life around
since devoured by disease
Now I stand here humbled
with apologetic eyes
for my selfish acts
under a life self prescribed.
730 · Aug 2013
My past in a Bottle.
Jacob Peters Aug 2013
The fake solution
i found in the bottom of a bottle,
drowned all my pain
saying just one more swallow,
just one more hit,
just one last sniff,
and that will be it.
Ill stop tomorrow
or maybe the day that follows.
Everything i promised
turned to everything i lost.
All the things i had turned
into another bottle,
pill, or whatever would
erase the shame, and the pain
that made me feel so hallow.
I wanted to stop, its true i really did.
But spending even a minute
alone with my thoughts was
enough to try and bring
my life to an end.
Id lost her, my family,
even my own morals.
Lived with true demons
i led into my body
through a needle in my arm.
I considered sucide
and tried.
But for some reason
god wouldn't let me die.
I thought i was being punished,
forsaken and forgotten.
I was completely at my bottom.
I found myself half dead
in a hospital bed,
hearing my parents plead
"god please don't take away our child."
I couldnt show emotion
so i cried with a blank exspression.
How could i have forgotten,
i was loved.
I sat in that bed,
weeks turned into months.
I swore id never go back.
Id change for the ones I loved.
The day i got discharged
i found myself there looking at
the devil in the form of a pill,
i was ill i was sick.
I have a dieses with no cure,
and found myself
shaking and seizing
and it all re accured.
Back in the bed i lay for two days.
Found myself on a small plane
headed far far away.
On a pilgrimage of change.
It took a couple weeks
but i realized I'm lost,
I'm powerless and broken,
only one could change that now.
I turned to the sky and asked
what do i do.
He told me be willing
and it'll come to me soon.
I made new friends
and made steps in the right direction.
I havent looked back
not even for a second,
god saved my life
beileve it or not.
Now I'm approaching
9 whole months.
Gratitude keeps me hear
and god makes me willing.
So now my life can be fulfilling.
685 · Aug 2013
Climbing outta the hole
Jacob Peters Aug 2013
Addiction is an endless pit
a hell born fire
it hurts as it grows
and it never stops growing
You find yourself stuck in it
No where to turn now
it only gets worse.

It'll take more than one
prayer to pull you outta this curse
You have to be willing
to hear what is true
and take the initiative
to say goodbye to a few.

Blood, sweat, and tears
will go into your struggle
But serenity is waiting at the
end of the tunnel.
May be revised.
551 · Aug 2013
A poem for her
Jacob Peters Aug 2013
Young love captivated us
Life seemed perfect
we'd kiss and my heart would soar
but keeping you happy
was quite the chore

I betrayed you
hurt you in more ways that one
and in the middle of all this
we were trying to have a son
You learned not to trust me
i made you unsure

I wish there was a cure
to our problems
a secured relationship
something i could grip

I fell through the floor into
drugs that i began to adore
They made me forget our problems

They only made them worse
it became a curse.
I lost you.

— The End —