After everything you've been through. The sleepless nights and the long days, the suicidal thoughts. Your still kicking you are strong

Sympayhy looks so good on you
But at what cost
Your heart flutters into the abyss
  losing yourself at the bottom of a bottle
Can't we both pretend to be people that  we  most are certainly are not
Let me break all the men who miss used you take my hand let me morose you. I'm lame but aren't we all, don't mind me as a beat my head into this wall.
A looming shadow hides the scars , infatuated with your sweetheart.
we are one and the same you and I... If only   I had no purpose so I could give up and die.

Sympayhy looks so good on you
But at what cost
Your heart flutters into the abyss
  losing yourself at the bottom of a bottle
Can't we both pretend to be people that  we  most are certainly are not
Let me break all the men who missed used you take my hand let me morose you. I'm lame but aren't we all, don't mind me as a beat my head into this wall.
A looming shadow hides the scares infuatuated with your sweetheart.
we are one and the same you and I... If only   I had no purpose so I could give up and die.

Sympayhy looks so good on you
But at what cost
Your heart flutters into the abyss
  losing yourself at the bottom of a bottle
Can't we both pretend to be people that  we  most are certainly are not
Let me break all the men who missed used you take my hand let me morose you. I'm lame but aren't we all, don't mind me as a beat my head into this wall.
A looming shadow hides the scares infuatuated with your sweetheart.
we are one and the same you and I... If only   I had no purpose so I could give up and die.

Can you feel it?
Swirling
Flowing
Banging on the walls.
Thats Creativity,
Inspiration,
Poetry,
Trying to escape.
Can you feel it?
Crawling up your throat,
Alerting your brain,
Shoving against you lips?
Thats your laugh,
Your opinion,
Your plea for help.
But you feel it,
The need to blend in,
The need to lie,
To hold it all in.
So you put of your smile,
Your mask,
Your role,
Your make up.
And you blend in,
The perfect actor,
The usual victim.

A young boy dreams of change. dreams of fire, flesh, and bone. hoping to be known, feeling as if he will never grow old. A curtain hangs before he's eyes hiding the sin of our flesh. The woman in the beautiful mask tames him with a savage oath.  Despite The horrors of the unknown he is determined to set his image in stone. Prays to a god he doesn't know, dipped in the water chilled to the bone... Gasps for air is he brand new? more accurately muddled.
   He's father floats through the door an idol to the boy, Oh how he did adore him. A spitting image was he's goal, to be the only man he'd ever known. The ignorance of a child is to be admired for when one grows old hearts harden, Words are ciphers, seeking salvation from this pit of vipers.

Today was a gas
Lost my job and got a mothers day pass
If I was two people I'd beat my own ***
One could say all good things do pass
Eventually the bad wane
In loosing all worries would I find something to gain?
Procrastination getting stuck in the rain
A loop a circle if you will, Highs and lows
Using faith to ****
sometimes thinking makes me ill
feel the way Gacy felt
Melt it down, Belt it up
Digest another pill, my sad attempts to mask how I feel
I let my liver down, **** it He can join the crowd.
All the washed up people, Represent with your quitters scowls
My emotions ferocious, on the prowl.
Accountability hung its self
responsibility is dead
At the end of my days Just maybe ill rest my head
But i doubt it
Listing to lies, getting ready to spout em
school systems stupid, Education failed
American idiots behind a sleek veil
Oxymoron's that make snails wanna run
Being a child and the absence of fun?!
Innocence is a thing of the past, Every channel manufacturing trash
I bruised my soul
Cry out to the lord that he'll make me whole
I swear ill change, never go back to my old ways
But then again most days I still smoke haze
searching for thoughts to graze oppose to fertilizing my own
Using borrowed time until some GREAT DIVINE
This life is a late loan.
None of these thoughts are even my own
Listing to the bones turn to ash
showed up late to the bash
stuck around to exploit others cash
Until i crash, pumped full of whiskey and awfully sick
My fascination with handling  poisonous snakes
Dreams a blast to the past
Child hood hopes and dreams a jumbled mash of adolescent mistakes
**** ups big enough to make my mothers heart ache
The things I do aren't my alone
puffing away in a no smoking zone
I need to spend time on my own
Begin
The
Process
Of GROWTH