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JL Mar 2012
I promised that I wouldn't write another poem about her
Except just this last one
Where sun shines around you
As I look up from the grass
It smelled like weeds and summer and dirt
Grease from working on your dads truck

I never touched one of his tools

But something about warm finger tips
Makes me lose electrical control
Feet up on the dashboard
With the doors open
And every star ever invented in the sky
JL Jan 2012
I walked to the ocean
And swam in her waves
Until I saw a storm coming my way
The birds began flying
To find a dry place
As the first drops of rain
Fall on my face
The shells that I collected
To make you a necklace
Jingled and jangled
Down in my pocket
Now I'm covered in rain
Now I'm covered in sea
Just to see you happy
It's worth it to me
JL Feb 2012
Guts, oh my guts. Twist and shut when you wake up. It's day for you and night for me; midnight noon across the sea. I don't think you understand. I saw down palms each by hand. carving out a little boat, so I can sail the sea and bring you home. A sail I've sewn-needles and pins, a home carved rudder, a lust for wind. Sunset beaches where I sleep next to fire's dying heat. I can't wait for the feeling of waves as I sail out to find you far far away.

2.
The sea was cruel, storming heavens, grey black course on the tradewinds. I found you sleeping in your bed  curled up warm (dream filled head). Reaching up to tap the rain, dripping on your window pane. A smile, a moment of worry and fear...don't worry please I love you dear. I tried to sleep through storming rain, but I was  just happy to see your face.

3. Morning came
When you awoke
The sun came up
In rays of hope
I said my love
Is like the sea
I want you to
Come home with me
You said
You see
Just like the sea
I can tell your love is deep
But I'm a girl
You're a boy
That boat
You built is just a toy
So turn around
Go back home
The only place you've ever known
You go there
I'll stay here
Your love is deep
Not wide my dear

III.
I must admit I cried a bit as the mast filled with homeward wind. I watched your window getting smaller as waves took me out further and further. You never knew that I was lost at sea, but I guess that's where I'm meant to be.
JL Nov 2011
I feel it in the grass and in the driving rain
In lonely amber sunsets
Ending long hot summer days
You tell me it's not real but I'm sure that I can feel it
If you give us one more chance
Were never gonna make it
So here's to giving up
Raising up your glasses
A toast to sleeping alone
And one for lost romances

I'm gonna take my time
Give or take a minute
When your talking about life
I don't really need it

You talk to me about love
Like it's a place you visit
Just to sit a while
You leave before it's ended
So you can't understand
This feeling that I'm knowing
Cause you're already gone
One day you will regret it
JL Feb 2012
I drown my broken heart with the slow poison beneath the orange glow of the exit sign. Cheap goldent tequila wreaking havoc on my liver. Nothing changes from day to day for me, my misery stems from selfishness thinking of myself and my problems and my own tears_ while the true broken hearted sleep on cardboard beneath the stars. I've been in love before, I was a child, I wanted her name tatooed over my heart I wanted her lips on ny neck and my chest. Her arms tangled and legs spread, teenage ***** moan heavy on my ear. I rember sweat and hair being pulled and ciggarette smoke and perfume and love letters, shaving my head in the livingroom. ******* in the attic of the church while your aunts wedding went on downatairs. its not easy to forget those things, smoking a joint after a long night of drinking and ******* like animals, you looked at me, and you seemed a million years away, your black hair stuck to your sweaty skin, on your neck and your naked chest and the pillow and you said, Jacob, I love you. Cutting me with blue ice eyes. Your knees pressed into my stomach as you carve your name above my heart. I thought it was beautiful when you took that carpet knife quickly sterilized in whiskey and pressed it to the white skin of your hip and carving an ugly "J" big and red and bleeding. Wiping clean the drops with your long white fingers and mingling our blood on my chest.
Asleep
Your eyes fall into the steady rhytm of dreams,
Thoughts of us having white babies
And going to church
And growing old
And being young
And being somebodies
I slip on my pants and boots
And step out of the trailer for a smoke
Looking at the moon
Looking at the light on in the neighbors bathroom
Looking at the bikes in the yards
Looking at the birds
And your name carved above my heart
Red
Torn
Flesh
You tore away my innocence
As I tore yours
We were children
And I had much to learn places to go and not too long away
Back when the drinking was fun and the needles were fun
Back when we were Sid and Nancy, back when I fell asleep inside you and mingled blood on my chest like some ritual of fate.
Back when we rode fast on the ******* Harley  next to the sea
And I picked you up at work
When I broke my hand on Jeremy jaw for slapping your ***
But now
I hate your name
And the scar on my chest
And the cigarette burns around it
And the faded blue tattoos
I love another now,
Someone gentle
Someone understanding
Someone with a real red beating heart
Someone who understands
That the world spins
And we are just two specks
Seperated
And clinging to the same earth
JL Aug 2013
Gaily I shall go
Into the snare
Laugh with me
And fear not a
Thing. (Because)
Your muscles
Play a music
To my skin
In your arms
A glance by!
Wind disruption
Casts the dog of me
Into the sea
I'll rush if you
Would lip
Quiver. Run hind
Legged shaking tense
Little thing you
Bobbing bulb willow
Wind blossoming
Song
what then would I be
If thou were the moon
And I the sea
JL Oct 2011
far away taxie
i would ride if
i could
far away city
i would
i could
to a bedroom in a cold apartment
i have never seen before
to a new place to drink coffee
and
what do i find
far away diner
i would ask for her number
i could ask when she's off
the first smile ive gotten
in two thousand miles
far away city
I would walk down the street with you
I could go evreywhere with you
but right down the road is fine
but right to your room is fine
far away bedroom
i would kiss you in your bedroom
i could kiss you in your bedroom
but you let me sleep
far away eyes
i would love to know who you belong to
"you can learn tommorow if you want to"
i hear the eyes tell me
i can learn tommorow if i want to
black hair green eyes and long awaited sleep
JL Sep 2016
I was dust before
But then I knew
I was a brass bone
In the most ancient god
A point of light in
The machine twisting
Mandala regurgitating
Novel universes
@ whim

If life were true
I would build eleven cities
For you
And golden spires; minarets
Twisting to
Knife the pink horizon
Would be my poetry
JL Jan 2012
I caught the moon at half mast tonight
Her helm swayed silently in the breeze
I grabbed at the handles
Turning the rudder due north

I rode into the black sky of night
Letting the wind billow the sails
The snap clap of loosened white fabric
As it taps on the mast

I emptied my pockets
Full of Marlboros and thirsting syringes
Tossing those weights off the starboard side
Where I'm going I don't need short-lived  highs

*I cast off those weights
And let them fall down to earth
As I  whistled a hymn
That I heard as a boy
Floating up and up
Without a care
The night was my lover
The smell of her hair-

Out in the empty
I heard angels softly singing
Their words swaying slow
Into the ******* nothing
I am a brother to stars
A bringer of life
A listener of melodies
Lost in the sky

Out here in the wonderland
Between heaven and earth
The angels were calling
Without speaking words
And I knew without asking
I could go anywhere
Touch the face of planets
Unseen by human eyes
I could take my ship Luna
Through dying nebulae
those
clouds lost in space


I could stay here forever

In this nowhere I've found
But the gleam of your eyes
Haunted me from the ground
I knew you didn't want me
Or care if I left
But I wanted to be there in case
We had some time left
when your talking about life
Even a moment is enough

So I looked at the angels
Shining all in their glory
To the echo of space I asked
"But what if she wants me?"

So I turned the main sails
Away from the wind
To earth I was going
To the home where I lived

The rush of the breeze
The groan of the ship
As we settled back down
On this terrestrial strip

My feet touched the grass
You were nowhere to be found
So I just picked up my cigarettes
And sharps off the ground
I only rhyme when I feel like it.
I'm not going to try to make it all rhyme cause that would just be....boring
JL Mar 2016
I stood on the pill gray surface of a moon with my eyes closed against the pitch. Deafening silence encaptulates me swallowing every cell as I sit cross legged in the stomach of it. I felt her. The pump of her heartbeat colossal in the deep. I dissolve and recoagulate 20 trillion kilometers from her belly. White dwarf her ultraviolet laughter washes over me charring me black. Just beyond the speed of light I fight the cold vacuum spiraling  through fathomless rings of planet sized asteroids she has caught within her gravity. I accelerate through her categorizing every element naming some as I go. Her molten core flows pure silver. Radioactive, attractive in totality, she is stealing my electrons and I'm losing all equilibrium. With reckless abandon I arc through her nitrogen ice eyelashes and lips play supernova melting me again into a pool of shimmering metal reflecting her every facet fractaling in infinitum Eye couldn't capture unable to dilate in time. The mind could not comprehend it driving to madness decompressing time. Switching polarity with her smile I float awhile in her warmth basking in total integration. Resting on the glaciers of her clavicles. I run my lips on the molten surface of her neck, and my hands found the small of her back marble smooth in the bitter black. Hair of plasma on obsidian shoulders cradling me as I reform. Her finger  like Olympus Mans presses into my arm and she says something that I could not reproduce even after infinities of calculation. In this brand new mode she runs like code. Strands of proteins or DNA playing over mine becoming prime. The restorative gravity that brought us pulls atomicly until we are not.
JL May 2012
Stop this madness
No never pull against the fingers
Every corner coiled snake shadows
The demon beneath the bed
Touches me with his clawed finger just as I fall asleep
The broken blade of a pocket knife
I stabbed him in the eyes

Crimson ******* parading on the tile floor
Pooling so perfect
With that he flings me throigh the window
Breaking the glass at my back
I scream as the cool of night fills my lungs
The dash of a rat on the corner
The flicker of a single lamplight
What a fright as he screams in my face
The blade of my grandfather's pocket knife protruding

Which way shall we go
Tossing me into the street
The full moon
My eyes wide
As I scream out in terror or courage or something of the art
You will not take me without blood

Laughs
Man
JL Dec 2015
Man
Know me
This I require
With only
Times New Roman
I build a fire
Blowing
Upon the Embers until
Smile

steam and iron
Ink and paper

Music
Silence

To the saloon
To the church
Tying shoes
Speaking words
Bold
Dangerous
Elegant

Graveyard abiding
We laugh
Building to break
To burn
To burn

Speed!
Flame!
In this chaos
Thriving

War Born
Sun burnt
Sons of God or
Devil
Caring not
We tighten the knot

Feral Kings
Upon
Trade winds
Compass spins
Stars inumerable
Compel
Protractor and pistol
Hammer and nail
Gasoline, sail

This blood
This muscle and bone
Violence alone

Prayers of David
Unturned stone
Story tellers
Ornately scarred
Strung for a moment
between two eternities
JL Feb 2012
It's break time again
The steam whistle blowing
All hands stop
Stacks of boxes
Not growing

We walk outside
To have a smoke on the wharf
Where grass grows up through concrete
And the sea is green and dark

Hobnail boots ping ping
On metal stairs
Wrinkled scarred hands zip up jackets
Old dogs who know nothing but work
Blow smoke in your face
And call you "boy" in thick accent

They don't scare me like they used to
Because I have cuts on my hands now
From diving over a railing
To save an impatient old man

It seems just when life gets to where you want it
You have a dream about someone
And your jumping over railings
Into the teeth of a cutting board

It seems just when life gets to where you want it
You have a dream about a girl
And your waking up alone in the dark
Drinking water and taking pain pills
Even when nothing really hurts at all
JL Feb 2012
When we used to cruise
In your car
You were always curled up next to me
Legs wrapped up in the seat
The feel of your head on my shoulder
And the wind blowing through the window
Heaven

Now we drive down on full moon nights by the sea
And you're more intrested in the window than me
I couldn't reach you with a ten foot pole
Even if I wanted to

I huff
You sigh
Blue eyes closing
Silver cobwebs on your lashes
Look pretty in the moonbeam's glowing
JL Feb 2016
February 12, 2016

I lie **** on top of my blankets; praying. Praying. Praying. I am fighting waves of nausea and sleepiness. Medicines I feel sprinting through my veins dragging me downward. No.
The rain slow at first but gathering wrath in the warm night.
Lightning and thunder will come I smell it afar off. Ions heavily scented spill through the atmosphere holes in my plexiglassed window.  
Thunder rolls through my chest shaking deeply my whitewashed plaster cocoon. The cries begin to swell, and echo strangely through the sterile corridors. I am not the only light sleeper, I muse.
I doze momentarily even among the screams of the mentally hilarious; I am called into sleep. They must have doubled the sleeping medication; the storm will be worse than I thought.
I start at a sound. Steady. A theta wave vibrating through my room. I pitch to my side in time to see a lightning bolt slash through the sky. I saw something. The bolt plays hell with my night-vision as I sit upright on my bed.
There. Struggling up the plastic surface of the viewport. It cannot fly in the rain; it struggles for purchase on the portal. I study her. Elegant and slender she reaches the airhole and pulls herself through. Far off the screams wax and wane as the storm intensifies.
Her slender thorax and polished, obsidian, exoskeleton strike excitement through me to a cell. A perfect engine of pain and terror. A great black wasp. She reminds me of a thorn as she rests on the windowsill; unmoving in the air conditioning. Giddily, I shake with excitement nearly overwhelmed. Delicately she cleans water droplets from her abdomen and shakes the moisture from the thin membrane of her wings. I slowly move to my shelf and remove the specimen cup from its placement; silently unscrewing the threaded lid from the clear plastic container. Down the hallway a tired groan and a throaty grunt from one of the other patients. The wind now screams through the breezeport that runs to north toward the cafeteria. A shingle is peeled from the roof of a gazebo and cyclones into a bulkhead. I lick my lips, and consciously check my excitement.
I slide a sheet of crisp white paper from my desk. Quickly, I trap the great insect with the jar and slide the paper over the aperture trapping her between jar and paper. She does not struggle, but looks intelligently at the walls of her new prison. Beautiful, and intricate machinery at work; she readjusts her  wings, observing me with with bulbous eyes. Lightning strikes, and there is a deafening pop as a transformer explodes. For a moment it creates an azure sun outside, and casts curious shadows through my room. In the corridor the lamp light is squelched, and then ignites emergency lamps in scarlet hues as the diesel generator sputters to life and idles. A deafening clackson alarm begins to wail.
I am not aware of this at first; obsessing over my catch. Her form is ******, deadly. Something deep within me stirs at the very site of her. Revulsion? Ecstasy? From my reverie I am stirred by the clanging of doors and staccato laughter in the crimson glow of the storm lights. In a moment I am resolved and I slide the paper from the opening and cover it with my hand. Now footsteps. She senses me and reels in instinct. Without hesitation she draws herself tight as a bow string, poised to ****** the hypodermic stinger into the warm pink flesh of my palm. Quicker than thought she strikes piercing, seemingly to the bone she injects poison. Down the ward doors are slid open and the sound of radio chatter plays toward me. I am engrossed, in bliss as my arm begins to numb. Five times then Nine times she spears me with the barb. My heart beating so hard in my chest that I am sure the orderlies must hear it. Then I hear a burst of static and a sing-song reply of phonetic alphabet followed by my room number. I grasp her delicately from the specimen cup with my thumb and forefinger as she stings me with prejudice beneath the nail bed and cuticles. I cast her through the air hole in my window and quickly lie upon my bed before the door is unlocked. A man in white scrubs and a five o'clock shadow opens my door and pierces me with two steel blue eyes. "You should be asleep." "Get some rest, we will have the lights back on in no time." I smile my head swimming with post adrenal bliss. When suddenly I hear the droning of wings. A sea of raging hornets sounding ominously in the small cell. A black cloud pours through the airhole, countless chittering wings encompass the orderly in a poisonous storm cloud. With vengeance they sting, his eyeballs his hands, his throat. All swelling with purple nebulas of poison. In his mouth they crawl and down his throat. Efficiently suffocating him in mere moments. Then they quiet. All at once they flock to me, walking on my pale naked flesh caressing me with millions of antennae. They do not sting, instead they are still. Their crescent shaped bodies vibrating,  like a cat purr against my cold skin. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing hilariously, and I shudder hardly containing the joy. Then I pick up the radio clipped to the orderlies pants, and pull the 18 inch telescoping  steel baton from the holster belted at his waist. I click the PTT and speak into the radio. Epsilon Wing Cell 005 Accounted for, Over Quintar beep followed by a burst of static and a reply. I cover my mouth to suppress another fit of hysterical laugh. I step barefoot over his body and onto the cold tile of the ward; spinning the heavy keyring on my finger
JL Jan 2012
And despite your commitment
To stop at the store
You said keep drivin
-your headlights were pink
Presents from your rich daddy
Real pink headlights  on the road
He bought you the Cadillac on
Your sixteenth winter
Along with those god ****** pink headlights
*******
We didn't stop for m&ms; and chico
You were a lamplight
Stupor raddled
So far so good you see
Lays the vine against the tree
Blow on wind
Crystillian sea
Turn around
And throw your
Handbag
Into a lava pit
May
JL Mar 2012
May
We could be two peas in a pod
You and me
Love letters
Grass stains
Black and whit t.v

We can sneak out to the field
After the church service

Spring time
I feel fine
In fact
My heart makes me act
Like your fool
Maybe I can love you
Until summer ends

But I get so much ahead of myself

You tip-toe around puddles in your new yellow high heels
And your pretty blue dress
You act like you don't mind if they get *****
Like a flower in the mud

"Let's go back"
As you wipe a splash of mud

People begin to wonder where we are
Imagining the worst
As we walk hand and hand back up through the churchyard
Church people always think the worst
Me
JL Apr 2012
Me
Myself
I am stupid
A nothing
A slave
But I break free from you
The window shatters.at the diamond tip
Cracking in pieces
Reflect the sky
And rain flashing my shoulder
I stop
I listen
I look
Turning lifetimes between times I've known
Feeling a tangle of weeds at my throat
You bite and clawed until it let me go
Gouging out glass eyes
Million by million
In a silent hilltop
Where a morning fog fell
Where a morning fog fell
Where a morning fog fell

Near the edge of hell
I felt your fingers about my feet
Pulling me from the darkness of a midnight dream
The dreamcatcher tore
The beads on my neck
Where each one touched me like a dagger Sharp
Leaving me scars
All torn apart but a tore a man apart because he started the fire
That killed my old and beautiful mother
Ask me not how a weak man can leave patterns on the sea of time
Someone whose words can cut with every broken glass
Someone who falls asleep dreaming of lost hands
Warm beds at sunset

What am I doing?
JL Dec 2011
I am the authority of this poem
I can open it and close it at a whim

I can pull it apart and back together
But just as strongly it can control me

Her secrets are whispered in darkness
Her truths are shouted in the streets

Of sunsets or snows or broken bottles
It has meaning
My meaning

Hidden in its quiet pages
I find all in this world I need
Meg
JL Dec 2015
Meg
Shes next
the one
The Bait dangled in my face
Followed her from Beetle's to Market St.
She stopped at the state liquor agent
Her reflection in the bottles
Strange and obtuse
I trail in her shadow
As she hits the main drag
She's taking potshots from the brown bag
Pitch black dress and a red purse
Looks like she just woke up
In the back of a hearse
Cunning
Taking to the street backs
Like a cat to the fence
Through the ghetto directing traffic with her hips
Her pheromone trail has me licking my lips
In the gaslamps I can make the outlines
Of her unfinished tattoos
The naked torso
the bicep
Weeping willow

I gave her a million chances
But she never answered the phone
Galvanized by a single conversation
Eyes
An itch on the frontal lobe

A fire in my chest her screams act like billows
Steel grip on the nape of porcelain
Anaconda uncoiling from the ****
Naked
I stand above her
Lying all blue lipped against white sheets
Gently
I pose and photograph her
This one's a keeper
They say I hate women
Nothing could be further from the truth
JL Nov 2011
I see you agian
In your soft fragile beauty
A  new orchid pale
But I see in your eyes sadness
The ache in a spiders legs
As it crawls to the center of its web
A cold breeze tossing it upon a sea
A fresh look of terror
Shivering in the moonlight
You haunt my dreams
I am ****** to a life of silence
A cold shiver in my limbs
A cold shiver in my limbs
JL Jun 2015
last night I was the throat
Today I am the knife
Wish me luck
This wound
I cannot heal
I am caught within the wheel

Ive done the math
In my head
Even the square root
Preparing A new trajectory
Readjust
Readjust
Readjust

This new silence I can understand
I cherish our reconciliation
Clarity
I have not known
Silence so resplendent speaking:

*I have no true use for you
But I'd like to watch you cut and lie your way out of this one
JL Feb 2012
The whole city is dry
Dust collects around the feet of skeletons who rest against the streetlamps
Drunken schoolboys ride down the side walk
Swaying back and forth to unknown music
Like a dandelion in the moonlight
****** packs of dogs roam the streets
Looking for a corpse
Licking the bones clean
Buildings rise tall and white
A row of teeth gnashing together against the light
The ******  moon  is ashamed at the beauty
Now rusted and broken
Long legs that step from torn black limousines
Tall women in ripped black dresses
Sway hips in the hot summer night
Hair standing on end at the thought  of  alcohol
******* raddled coat checker
Watches with a cigarette
Dangling from his lips
White blazer splashed with mud
On his left shoulder

There I was
Slinking down the back alley
Looking for a store bought life
Long lost in some war
Maybe it is the call of the jazz club
Dying on the corner
Or my hand locked to a paper bag
I got from the gas station
Maybe it was clouds
Laughing at me
I am jealous of their freedom
As the float past me
Pointless as a puddle
I stepped into the gutter
Black water  to my ankle
Knee deep in depression
But the air was warm
Lights danced like candles down the winding street
Who knows where I’m going
I don’t seem to mind
JL Jul 2013
Beyond dilation scuttle eyed pin hole magnetic stigmata
I swear if you rub red the right way it scores points with the Almighty
Crystalized She used to run around with ***** fingers
She was made in a bathtub
Towhead floating face up  

Like a deep breath doll laugh goodnight
I'm balanced hypodermic in the chamber
Reading from the black stenciled numbers 100cc
Here is the end's beginning
A brand new case of rigs
She's dancing on the counter
Dancing in my head
She's won't let me sleep
And my dreams become electric
25% oxygen not counting waste
Or the tingle on the back of my throat
25 seconds until we reach the half life Wear the dunce hat.
Bruised arms  
and a 90% isopropyl bath
Two weeks non sleep
JL Mar 2012
Waves across the pasture
Where new sprouts of grass reach up
From black soil cool and wet
JL Feb 2013
apparently  no one likes the third person
He's watching you
yeah you
He's gonna **** you
But it's gonna be real slow like
With a knife
Ha now I've got
You I(
am gonna put you down this time for good
with a silver bullet to the eye
Found you jumping over the creek
and we met beneath
the bridge with chain linked fence
My best
friend we smoked
cigarettes and
took our girlfriends there
to choke
them
with
their
own
hands
JL Feb 2012
Selfish-evergreen
Prefers his sunlight- Mountain
Beetle Rots her belly
JL Nov 2013
I've broken into a new cycle. I am reborn with a chip on my shoulder.
This whole time I've run in circles searching for what is in my hands.

Territorial-I scream lung pinched showing off my k-9's chipped+sharp
It ain't my first night, but I've been blinded by hope. So blind.
Let us feast wine until your head is nodding
Warm until you're found wanting
Close enough to touch but not
I feel her breath burning hot
Hands dancing in the darkness
Eyes eluding contact
Fingertip contract
Lips
JL Jan 2012
The way you left
Everything and nothing
I fear your power
The way the moss bends towards you
As we walk through the woods
The way the leaves seem to whisper your name
As the wind smiles at your presence
The fox looks at us from below the brambles
His two eyes glowing in the dark
Then lowering his head
Bowing to you
Your footfalls echo off the ancient trees
Who creek and rattle a joyous chorus at your visit
The river seems to flow more slowly
The moon seems not to have moved in hours
Does the crackling fire of our camp
Call out to you?
Do even the branches burning in flame
Cry out at their joy of warming you
In a dream I must be
For the sparks of the flame seem to dance about your fingertips
The grass bends towards you
As you lie back looking for sleep
The night cradles you on a bed of flowers
Who seem to laugh at their petals falling
I must be dreaming
For in the dark around our camp
Wolves have circled
And sit as still as stone
Watching over you as you sleep
JL Jan 2012
You were a rose
You were a storm
You were the wind
You were the cold
You were the big and upcoming
The queen of my heart
You drank up the summer
Bleeding the light
Knocking on your window
At quarter to three
Your eyes through the curtain
Looking at me
You didn't put on clothes
To let me in the door
We kissed to your bedroom
We kissed to the floor
Letting me wonder
Letting me drink
I played you piano
Until you fell asleep
You asked me and asked me
But I wouldn't sing
A no name poem from March 25, 2010
JL Jan 2012
Son, do you know why I pulled you over
Because I noticed that your lungs collapsed
And you were choking begging pleading for
one single breath
So enjoy the air while you got it...
Go ahead take a moment
For a good deep breath
Feel that clean country air just tickling your insides

Son, do you know why I pulled you outta class?
Cause your bein a *****
Every time we try to bring up a good topic
you start crying
******, *******, mutation, abortion, cloning, ******, violence, masochism
Stop bein a ***** boy, everybodies daddy gets drunk and beats them at night

Son, you know why I'm not letting into heaven?
Because you are a pretentious selfish ****
JL Mar 2012
The world doesn't ******* revolve around you
JL Dec 2011
A constant nagging of lonliness pulls at my skin
I am sorely cursed by long nights of solitude
Although in the night's fall
There is a mysterious beauty in her depths
I am cursed by a glance at the clock
I have two more ours until I am raised again in sunlight
I crave the hours of darkness
The unmade bed of insomnia
Cold barefoot walks in the wet grass
Off
JL Jan 2016
Off
Spin-bycicle wheels
As I turn onto Salerno st.
A canal to cross
So I can toss
My backpack into bushes

Duct tape
Rubber gloves
This is love-true

Blade or tongue
I've become
Something

Poncho hood
In the wood
Calm
Begins to rain
Sane

Hammer-I feel
In my chest
Creeping mist
Tooth-smile
JL Aug 2013
night creates a certain pressure
i hope you won't pick up
dealing forever with that old
scratch scratch on the back of the skull

receptors burnt blacker than the bottom of a spoon
Welcome scars that cannot be covered
i see your eyes
don't even try to avert
or hide the disgust
nose held so high like
you haven't found a way to **** yourself too
Tell me your secret
I can appreciate it

little ****
little poke
constant sting singing:
I am the rehabilitation
the lightbulb still flickers in the basement
when i'm not there

i love you jacob  
so you can't go back
You can't go down jersey ave.
or even take okechobee
You can't slip between the cracks anymore
You've become solid full of atmosphere
still weak but the sun

Clean Waste
the tops of the hands are
treasure maps in circles leading
to the same old footprints
i am free so I take deep breaths for the hell of it
each time i see the crease of your knee
Purity
each word that falls from your lips
salvation
i don't need anything because i am more alive than a thousand poems unwritten
i am 20 years old and the next pill i touch will **** me
JL Jan 2012
We were caught on traffic
Heat peeling up the asphalt you began to ask
Boy meets girl
I don't remeber what your name is
Does it matter
At all......
You loved to think that you were saying things that had value
Held weight
But you didn't
Your words slid out of my head
You didn't say much
Or seem to care
That I slept upstairs
With everything I own
Packed into one  room
The whole house quiet
You didn't seem to care that my sheets were blue
Or that the night was early
You were a friend of a friends
Talking about how drunk you were
You kissed me
And for a moment
I felt like we were possible
Like I could take your clothes off
It has been so long since I felt lips
Upon my own
But the taste of *** was unmistakable
And your eyes seemed to double in and out
And you were just so right upon the bed
Pulling your jeans off in one two three
But
It's only new years eve
And we don't really care about each other
Your blond hair perishing out of exhaustion
You deserve better than this you know
Although if tonight
I had felt like I had last moon

I would have ****** your head off
And fallen asleep inside you
JL Feb 2012
I never knew tonight
Was the last cigarette in the pack
I never learned which way your hands went
and why
Or if your car would have made it to D.C
without dying
But I remember
How cold your hands were
And how it was raining
And how you looked like an actress
caught
in a
simulated
rainstorm
and the fan would blow your hair
and the water buckets poured
And Johnny offscreen
Banging aluminum sheets together for thunder
a cigarette hangs from his lips
a flashbulb for some lightning
Your umbrella opens up
beneath your make up running
My chest began to squeeze
Between your wet hair falling
I couldn't hold it back any longer

I love you

......and cut
JL Jan 2016
Fear non to the wild to the gun/
All odds stacked against
Runner for the wind sound
Mountain sea the weeds of my feet
My heart is made winter
Mind sun
Until my eyes/blue of sky
Sound Alert And scent
Reed Unbent  
Will Unbent
Scars of stone
I atone
butterfly/ bus
*try to catch me
JL Sep 2013
You felt like paper
Flimsy and unsure
I was afraid to take
A picture with my
Mind. You might
Float away when
the flashbulb shines
Losing control of
Everything
all I can
Remember
Is kissing you in the summer
Sliding my hand up the back of your skirt

When I knew nothing else
But the skin on your face
Glowing green in the dashboard light

Another morning off the turnpike
She fills coffee cups for old men
I have memorized the color of your iris
And I play with knives


I have three boxes of matches
Up all night
Coping with addiction
What if in the mind
I could rhyme a bullet through it
I will act as if you arent
And you will be harder to get

I like the variable of your fingertips
And when you hold my eyes
Just a moment too long
If I
Were
To die
Would you throw away my poetry?
Who will sit with you at church?
Let's play a game called: forget it
JL Nov 2012
I don't care if u
read this ****,
but just in the case that you do
       u aren't e.e cummings
           so don't steal he style
       try to do something
              else for awhile
                       cause'
                           it
                           was only real coooool/
                           cause "they"
                           hadn't  done it before
                           Now it's been done
                           and re-done and done again
u look kinda dumb
wen u do it my friend
                            who are you to try to teach roses to sing> anyway
                              who are you to teach birds to use wings> I must say
                                 I look up at you
                                 like  an ant from the ground
                                    I laugh
                                      for a while and call you a clown

don't listen to me though... cause' in "real life"
I'm

        an        in          grass
Just/     ant/     the/          

Back to the hill
Again to the whip
Scars on my back
I do my share
for the good of the pack
then at night
I get drunk
and I lie all alone
until work the next day
I grumble and groan
then get drunk again
repeat x's a thousand

STEP RIGHT UP FOLKS SEE
THE WORLDS BIGGEST LIAR!!!


then I blow my brains out
before "i" retire
JL Feb 2012
Cobwebbed
             corners
Hardwood
     floor
Warm hot              b  r e a t h
Crack
in
the
door
                           spider
       legs
                       creep
Dark
         Long
         Stare

Jump

(from sleep)
"Is somebody there?"
JL Nov 2011
Today I saw for the first time
A white flower growing outside
Out on the yard
They throw the ball
Waiting for a sirens call
I looked up from my silence
And to my surprise  a
U.F.O  hovered near by
Without a moment of fear I knew
I walked towards the glowing disc
Tears melting in my eyes
Beauty
From an open hatch I saw him smile
My father  coming to talk for a while
He walked up to my with tears in his eyes
And said “Don’t worry bud, it’s alright”.
We had a long talk that day
Even in the cold sprinkling rain
Memories so deep and full and fresh
My father’s face all wrinkled to death
I love you son more than life itself
Across the yard an orderly yelles
Inside for snacks and medication
I smiled at my father
Still so much to tell him
But he waved goodbye
And I waved goodbye
And a short walk inside
To white hospital walls
I took my pills and sat and wondered
As off in the distance a small ship hovered
Looking for a moment as if to say
A moment of looking can be as long as a day
A nurse walks by her hair white-blond
Towhead said
You’ve sure stared out that window for a long time, ***
JL Apr 2016
Finite or not time presses ever downward
Three seconds or nine from now
You'll empty the magazine
Words more violent
At the speaking

Blink and saturate again the sting
Sleepless nights end to end
Cyclic systems self-contained
Between day and dream
Rent the seam

Tenderly now
******* alone the wound
Gentle licks of blood trickle in wake
Sweat and hair unbroken stare
Silently reeling through the space of it
Pictures bare feet and lamplight all
Aching for not
JL Oct 2011
I've come to realize that your not from this town
You are some long place away
The trash that I live in

I walk the streets
or drive my car
I know all the drug dealers
And all of them know me.

All the hippie guys
who are stuck on some concept
smoke ****
eat shrooms
become god
kinda concept

All the rednecks
Trucks and Jeans
tabacco spit

This trash town
that I love so much
the gas stations
at midnight
we are lost as can be

but what does it matter
when you aren't here
you're in some far town
across years of rain soaked highways
bright headlights
miles
JL Feb 2012
You were softer than a cloud
Torn apart by the slightest breeze
A handful of dust was enough to poison
The entire ocean
In the heart of that sea
You were a dream
Sunlight dances on your skin
Beneath the blue

The waves pushed me into the moon
After night fell
We floated
Laughing
At the boats passing
On the way to nothing important at all

Anybody could hear us
Under a sky full of
Silver flowers

Calling sea birds
Circle us
As we try to remeber
What solid ground felt like beneath our feet
JL Dec 2011
Oh yes I fully understand
The sounds of this world are good and bad
Good and bad
Good and bad
Nothing like the sound of a good rhyme
A chime
A dime
The sound of a kiss
THE LOUDER THE BETTER I ALWAYS SAY
The sound of a forest
Sleepily
The branches scrape and scratch
Ratta tat tatting on the window
I love to hear the ones I love
Say I love you too
But  bad sounds are just as bad
A breaking bottle of good *****
A child crying in a store
A branch
Ratta tat tatting on my window at night
A car crash
A crying girl
Or your parents fighting
CRACK BANG SLASH KURRANG BOOM RING A DING DING
So I guess  to put it all into a rhyming couplet

If a sound is bad I hates it
If it’s good I loves it
JL Dec 2011
The cops got called at one a.m
An she's sitting on the front step
Smokin a cigarette wearing sunglasses
Hello officer he's inside
In the bedroom sleepin
Let me see what's under them sunglasses
A ******* eye and her lip is bleedin pretty good
The cops run in stomping over and on Christmas presents
The kids are cryin Daddy, daddy!
Mommy what's goin on
Their comin to talk to daddy about him bein mad
Dad is a fighter though and takes the first cop
Right in the throat with a balled up fist
The second cop got him good with his nightstick
Straight to the gut
Daddy is layin there while the good beat him on the ribs
In chains they drag him out to the car
Cussin and yellin up a **** storm
Momma sittin there cryin her eyes out yellin
Baby I love you im sorry
I love you I'm sorry

Time is gone by
Things have called down
While the pigs are takin statements an ****
Right there in the trailer park I see that girl
Some construction workers daughter from west Virginia throws her glasses on the ground
And asks to talk to her lover
He cryin in the backseat
Locked up
she broke my heart when she cradled his bleeding head to her *******
Whisperin I love you baby
With all my heart
She kissed him on the lips
A good long kiss
A movie kiss
Tommorow is Christmas baby I'm gonna bail you out
No you won't baby
We got our rent to pay
There ain't never a passionate kiss in this trailer park
That don't end with both of em tastin blood
Christmas eve in Tennessee means broken teeth and ******
And cops givin out a whippin
JL Jun 2012
Her shirt is tight
Thread fingers
click click click
The heat is unbearable
yet you creep closer
Spin
Its so easy in the heat of the dark
To meet certain pressure points
causing chain reacfions in the shadows
The taste of your lips
The heat of your burden- do not bare this alone

Flicker
The smell of you grows thicker the words fall over as you whisper
Your fingers timid
lips  trembling
You made my heart cheat as it races
Fingers and spaces
click click click click click
The actors play
a game for us
Everyone is perfect
everyone is uptown spending money

You curl closer to me
The weight of a gaze
The green eyes blade grass
You laugh quietly in perfect angles
inteflaced fingers
I fell in love
Roll credits cut copy edit

Wake dream
Its hard to say goodbye
Shadows
Cigarette burns
Make your move
One step ahead
Angel fall asleep
Fi e with me
your body against me
The up and down down up of your breath is enough
Like crushed pine needles
new bloomed flowers
Your smell in the room
Where the heat-drifts on the skin
silk flesh white
Your head onfmy chest
You sleep softly
You dream
(I hope of me)
House lights
Cheap ticket love
Dark carpet shadows
I protect you
Sleep
(I dream of you) whisper warm
Always of you i dr
JL Feb 2012
Still standing I see
With your community college
Psychology degree
Standing tall like a paper doll
Made by little fingers

I don't know why you hate me
Why you laugh about me to your friends
Why you pay hand over fist to the telephone company
Just to talk **** about
Little old me

Here a nickel
There a dime
You're talking about me all the time

When I'm down on the street
Gossip like wind
And Im hearing **** from your so-called friend

I realize the diffference between you and me
Is I can lock things up
And swallow the key
JL May 2013
This is where we cross paths
Is it meant to be?
When you speak the hooks sink deeper
Echoings inside of me

Eyes of pure desire
Masked by double-meanings
I saw her say she loves me
But I was only dreaming

I will light your house on fire
If you do not give me your name
I trace the length of your fingers
The grace of hips leave me insane

I still do not dare touch you
Your coy smile slipping on and off
Your words hint at love and grandeur
The joy of simple life

As if the Norns have snipped a thread
Bony fingers knot us together
I feel the hands of fate
Upon the tapestry eternal
Vibrations I know you must feel
Vibrations I know you feel
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