I can't remember if Jessica or .4 milligrams
Makes me happy- I would lick the wound
Between her legs or crush her on the spoon
Wash her Filter her **** her through cotton
And find a vein all blue and ******
Like the 1st time again

I drempt awake
I could taste/smell her
On the bed sheets
And the form serpentine constricting
Flow purple and black dying of thirst
Aching until the skin is broken
A little sweet blood drips out and runs
Down between the knuckles
Playing warm on nerve endings like poetry


She left some ugly scar tissue
But she would **** god
Off 4 pills- and leave him
Empty Formless
Their screams in my face
Seem like an echo of a whisper
If you come in this house again
We call the cops

A thief and a liar are brothers
And they do not change in time
I forgot to feel
Even as her legs
Constricted me
******' deeper

I drempt that my heart stopped
And for the first time in ten eons
I was...what's that word?
*Happy

Arms at her sides
Hangin' like a noose loop
Radio music sporadic static
Choking on some air waves

Her heart is locked up
She keeps it in the bottom drawer
Her house is surrounded by chain-link
Concertina wire

Shes too good for you
She has a picnic alone
Feeding crumbs to the ants
Sympathetic

So grown up and independent
I thinks its just chemical imbalance
Are you still waking up
To the shotgun blast alarm clock
Sleeping in the pitch black
Washing dishes burning matches
Watching television addict

Too young
To have it all figured out
Halfway through
You'll choke on the pieces

******
Dog on a short chain
Too good for me
She's too busy curing cancer
And feeling sorry for herself

Someone told me what you said
I was a ******* hick
Drug addict rat
Because you know me?

I've got a strong chin
Been hit  harder than that
There's the door

Needle in the hay stack
The spin of the weather vane
I took a drink of you
And felt heavy to the touch
With my last bit of strength
I split the seed coat
Topsoil coaxing me
Come here, young one
Come here
Blue
The first color I have ever known
In awe I watch as birds fly over
Like painted die-cast wind-up toys
The warmth fills me to the brim
Free among unbroken hills
Neither late nor early
But still
On time with the cosmic dance of fire  color rain
Earthquake Heartache Lust and pitty
I took a drink of you and blooms sprout from my chest cavity
Sunlight flooding protons upon the hillside
Into my eyes smiling

*A nap on the grass until half-past two
As if I don't have work to do
Important things come and go
They melt away as winter snow
Drink you deeply from life's river
Not even death can make it bitter
**** Erectus
In three piece suit
Dead in a box
Maggot food
A veritable
Carrion drive thru
Just as fate would have it
Do you need
Some
Ketchup packets?

I have love for you
Rooted in my jawbone

Your secret perfume
Convection heat in a back seat

I want your thin fingers
Tangled in the web of my ribs

I want to lose you
In the honeycombed purple layers of my heart tissue

I will cradle your head on my sternum
Letting my lungs do the work

If only
Your elbows were not so sharp

Then I would crave the dig of your fingernails
Your pastures of hair
The butterfly tremble of your lips

Speechless- words no longer hold the weight
My tongue on the novel curves of your sigh
Tasting the twenty summers of your growth

Trembling due to lack of oxygen
Trembling at the onset of lust

The kneading want of knuckle bones
Drawing me ever closer to the colors of light

Static in the stereo of the
Cerebral cortex

Bunched nerves
Shocked into submission
By your bleached bone canines


Open and breathe
The quick pinch endocrine valves
Releasing steam


Drape me with your skin
Wrap me up in your pulsing warm veins

I bleed blue
On every day of the week

I am deafened
By the rage of your heartbeat

I am stricken dumb
The symphony of your eyelids
Swelling in my chest a familiar lust

The wind from your eyelashes
Could blow us out of this winter
And right into spring

All the days of the year
I bleed blue

The dedication of your palm
On my cheek
Warms me like a leaf in sunlight

Peel me layer from layer
You will find no lies in between the pages

I am your machine
Waiting to be properly lubricated
I cannot wait for our first day under the sun
I can't wait to get you out of the fluorescent lights
Of the Assembly line
We will journey together to forgotten realms
And sleep beneath the strange constellations

My soul has known heavenly places
Once I slept on the shores of light
Before my soul learned its name

I once saw the aching darkness split
And matter was born from *
I slithered among the foundations of the earth
And made my bed in the tall grass

Pure bliss and warmth were mine
There the whispered revelation was my lullaby
I watched as suns were born
Dim beings of ultraviolet laughter

It was much easier
To see and understand
Before time was invented
From the mind and body
A cancer of spirit was born
Its whisperings were the first ego

Evolved so or created
It truly matters not
For the bird knows nothing of war
Or beauty

I have watched her now for forty five long minutes
As she stares out the window
Waiting on a war with worthwhile spoils

I have given up on politness
She follows me to the yard
The pit bull loping at her heels
Outside in the cool night we stand
Gazing at the midnight air traffic

She aligns her body with the north star
And shivers unknowingly in the porch light
She asks my favorite constellation
And I point it out with a lit cigarette
She drinks heavily from Aquarius
The grass is dead and I am only pretending

She is  beautiful there is no doubt
As she sits beneath a purple neon bar light
My belly is full of wine and she says my name
Tossing it around drunkenly
like a cheap token she wants to trade
I have to leave this place
People all packed together blowing smoke in each others faces
Laughing loudly at anything but the biggest joke of all
She follows me out the door onto the sidewalk
I hate her eyes for in them lies truth
The cloak and dagger of her kiss
Goodbye
She wraps her coat around herself
Walking away without a word
I should stop her
She should stop
But

I'm the worm
On the sidewalk dying
Starving
I crave the *****
Like an apple core
In the trash can
Postmortem
I split my cocoon
Tasting with my tongue
Her Sweet smeared pollinated petal
Eyelashes like monster claws between the closet door crack
Skin pale perfect corpse
A form of higher evolution
Curves geometrically perfect
Dramatacized in black and white
I put up a good fight
Slice me apart with my own strengths
A slip of the tounge against my weakness
She told me
"Never."
She gives no satisfaction
Gone before the streetlights
Turn off
I don't want you
To leave again
Stay awhile
Stick your fingers in my bullet wounds
Whisper in my ear
Your fears
So I can play with them
Evacuate
Her particles slipping through the air vents
Dancing in the silllia of my lungs
The star in her belly
I warm my hands near the flame
Playing her game
Until I'm burnt

I don't waste my time trying compare myself
I've pulled the trigger
Gone off the deep end
Smoking dancing blue pills on tin foil and watch her eyelids flicker
Thick
Smoke in my eyes
Detatching
From the gaze inanimate and perfect
I can't let go
Standing up straight half-rate I've been carried out of Captain Jacks
Before all my fake friends who come running when I have the money
I can drink all night when I give Rick a nickel bag ol' molly
Out of house and buisness
I drink him into the ground

This is where we cross paths
Is it meant to be?
When you speak the hooks sink deeper
Echoings inside of me

Eyes of pure desire
Masked by double-meanings
I saw her say she loves me
But I was only dreaming

I will light your house on fire
If you do not give me your name
I trace the length of your fingers
The grace of hips leave me insane

I still do not dare touch you
Your coy smile slipping on and off
Your words hint at love and grandeur
The joy of simple life

As if the Norns have snipped a thread
Bony fingers knot us together
I feel the hands of fate
Upon the tapestry eternal
Vibrations I know you must feel
Vibrations I know you feel

I am going to die
Someone tripped my breaker
I swim in the sparks
Thinner lines of longitude
Meet tangentially above
The third eye.
A veil is dropped and I
See the spinning mandala
Colors drip in lateral formations
Each line crosses
Infinitely deep in every direction
Bisecting me
Pay attention now
You are dying
You will tear through the veil
******* in the first breath
Cold air
The buzzing is around you
Warm glowing life forms
They sing songs!
Music of shape and color
Cyan and lilac notes
Fluttering from their bodies
Their songs spark and lightning
Through my body filling me with joysorrowlustpainguiltecstacy
Arcing off of my skin
Leaving long gaseous, crimson-green trails through the buzz of light
Watch me!
Look at this
Do you see what I can do?
Do you see, young one?
The souls gather around me
Whispering the secret of the *
We laugh together at the simplicity of it all
They show me their playthings shaped
Totem poles of fractal colors impossibly
Spinning on a string of deoxyribonucleic acid
Quadruple helices infinitely intricate strands
Dripping diamonds in hues of color I cannot name
It didn't last long
Knowing the secret of it all
Go back now
To your bed
Back to your dimension
Don't try to remember us
We are multidimensional
Children casting tridemensional
Shadow puppets upon your dimly lit cave walls
Oh Demon! Oh archangel! Oh fairy! Ghost!
You foolish primate
Smearing your cave walls with words
Try to figure us out, shall you?
We are forgotten like a dream
Stop
Stop
Stop
The walls are alien
And the impossible
Shattered bloom on each surface
Sing and vibrate
It feels as If I have been here before. As if it has always been but I am  allowed to see behind the curtain
Join the club
Join the club
We vibrate inside plant matter
Inside each atom we dance

Recreate us in your mind's eye dearest vertebrate
Watch us swim in and out of your memories
We have left our fingerprints upon the archaic machinery
Of your central nervous system
We are here
You are here
We are everywhere stop looking
We probe and poke at you
And sometimes we ancient-ones bend down and kiss you on the lips
You strange humans always exclaiming:  Déjà vu

For I've another soul to help me bear it.
The walls were built about my heart
But they were only tinder burnt away by first-glances
The eyes
Glacial blue piercing as the two edged sword between my ribs
Hair flame red long cascading upon her marble shoulders
The steeple of her breastbone shall I worship
Burning incense to the name of her lips carnation petal pink
Her Laugh as an hundred bird songs caught within wings flapping
Honeysuckle lashes droop curled dancing in a summer wind
Cheekbones apple carved blushing at my foolishness
Her hands well known to children
Sewing needles and pens
With hips seaside water crashing
She bumps against me in the ancient dance
Testing me to see if I'll withstand the winter wind
Who am I to boast?
What have I to offer?
She looks into my eyes only
Not into my coffers

I don't really care
I'm just along
For the ride
My shoes are falling apart
And my clothes are Salvation Army Special
Hungry but High
Cancer Ridden
Burning stacks of hundred dollar bills
To stay alive in the winter wind
Bums and the ******* laugh at me
Ha ha I'm pretty funny
She left me high and dry
Because my shoes are holy
Because I made her laugh
At herself
Figurines on the shelf
To the pawn shop
Only  knowing
How to window shop
Brick through the glass
You are mine at last

All of the pencils in the drawer are broken
Friday Night I'm sick of being alone
Hopping off the curb in search of the killer
Sniffing out the house parties
They like the bass loud and it swells
******* us inside past ten parked cars
They freestyle about
Gun fire and blood on concrete
He said I didn't believe him
Cracked out beyond repair
He shows me the scythe and hammer tattoo on his left breast
I laugh with the proletariat
Cheers and some soul passes me the bottle
Cigarette smoke contained by plaster walls
I'm eight days sober
Don't tread on me
Says a ***** blond next to me on the couch
All strung out she is searching
Searching for a bent spoon and needle in the tall grass
Back yard a bonfire
Walking barefoot on broken
Heineken bottles strewn in the shadows
Popping molly and sweating
She called me a hick
Her dopamine receptors
Rubbed flat by heavy grade sandpaper
I called her nothing
I was too busy watching
The rats scurry against the wall
To their safe warm nest
In the insulation
A hand around my wrist
Milk white incubus
With breath like puked whiskey
I escaped through a hole in the couch
I fell between the cracked leather cushions
And slept with the rats in piles of pink
Fiberglass insulation scratching at the flesh
I slip outside through the cracked window
A woman stands at a console
Turning dials that cause the streetlights to dim
And bleed storefront windows fractals of neon
She asks me what else I would like to know about the world.
Someone tells me to get in and the door shuts
A sound like gunfire I perspire sweat with cough
Syrup scent peaking on the dark road to Okeechobee
I should **** myself or run barefoot again through your head
Where the forest floor is warm and the trees are alive always with birdsong

Hello
Masturbator
Don't touch
My
Refrigerator
Don't Hate
Past
Expiration
Date
I will
Eat it
And
Then
I will
Smother
You
Pillowcase
Eraser
Shaving
I cut
Her into
Pieces
And Put
Her in the
Fridge
What
A *****
Let's
Get
Hitched
And
Share
Our
Refrigerator
Magnets

I watch your
Form twist
Serpentine
As the flame
Her bare feet leaving
Scorched prints
On the earth
Come closer
Come closer
Her hands as vines
Fingers sprouting
Warm blossoms on my
Cheek

I will whisper to you
The secret of life
Before

Steel Hands
Wrapped around her throat
Swan white
Snapped
Severed vertebra
Spasms Through and Through

Cold skin
White silk
To my lips
To my lips

As the twig weighted
Down by a single
Hibiscus bloom
Her neck
Hangs at awkward
Angles eyes rolled
Back Eternal

Her dead weight
In my arms
Still pressing against me
Arms spread
Eagle begging
For flight

  
Lips and nose pressed
To her nape
Scent memories gouge me
Playing over and over
Until tears fall from my eyes
Fallen face-first the
Black earth she cannot smell
Cold dew she cannot feel
Her white limbs splayed
On the grass as a morning lily

Instead the thorn
Cut and discarded

Your heart is porcelain
You cradle it in the darkness
In the dust you run your fingers
Against the edges searching desperately
For cracks that appear
Chastising yourself when one is found
Filling the spaces with glue
Hoping nothing will escape it
Did you hear me knocking?
Did you hear me walking up the stairs?
Creak
Creak
Your bedroom door swings open
You lie on the bed made up perfectly
Running your fingers along
The chambers and honeycomb connecting
Tissue.
The room dim lit and dust
Ten million nerve endings connect and discharge on your skin where we touch
Rushing armies of red blood cells swim to satiate the need in your brain
For oxygen
You recoil at my touch at first
Understandable
So I pull the brittle dust covered rocking chair
From the corner
I pull up the blind to let the yellow afternoon sun pour in
Pupils adjusting from shadow
You detest the warmth and brightness for a moment.
Your eyes wide with fear as
I sit in the old chair
A strange statue I feel I have become
Watching you
Watching me
I read to you
From a dusty tome
Full of English poetry
"Would you come outside
And play with me?"

Monad
Your blood runs, ancient in your veins
Whispers of past eons slither through the dim caves
I write the whispers here for you by torchlight
weary and lonesome
Words fall over words in the dark
I try to sleep but their chanting melts into my dreams...
Unimaginable horrors that I cannot tell in words

While awake
With every cell of my being
I will not think of her
I will not

But I dream
She is there entwined with the terrible phantasms
Telling me

It originates in the dilation
Of your left eye blue
Marble columns
Splinter and shatter
As your elbow gracefully
Settles

Your head
Seven pounds eight ounces
Softly perched upon the arches
Your shirt pulled upward
The pinkish white of skin
Warm flesh
Spilled wine hair
Sleeping in the window seat

Apple taste
Placed atop
Your head--
Shotgun
Klu
Klux
Klank
Bang
00 Buck
Shattering
Thine
Crystalline
*****-
Optera
Forever
Encased
Behind Glass
Locked and keyed
Plead
Plead
Please
Let me out
To
Use my wings
I'll allow myself
This
Dream
Only for a
While of
Rubbing
Antennae
(With"you")
Caked
In Pollen
(All the other children used
To laugh at my unobtrusive
Thorax)
I forgot
The taste
Of Breeze
Please
Free me from
This prison
Cell
Inside
Your
Nucleus
Warm and inviting
I think
I could learn
To lov-
To lo-
No, I understand
You don't use the L-word
In this
Kingdom
Phylum
Class
Order
Family Genus
Species
You
Use much more subtle
Habitual
Mating Rituals
Practiced by
Boys
And Girls
Alone
Once
Their government
Handbooks are issued
Ashamed and
Full of doubt
They seek out
The silence
Offered on
Forgotten
Moons
Where they can
Meditate to
The infinite hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm­mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm of the universe
You can hear it
Now
If you listen close
Enough
*Almost
A

Whispering
Deep inside (me?)


I
Think




I  could...


love you

She let me put my **** in
Leading me inside with her
Shaking ashen fingertips
Embedding her ember eyes like
Molten buckshot beneath the skin
Her fake moans
See-through writhing hips
Begging for it

Until like midnight strikes
Fingertips behind my eye lids
Timid her lips pressed
Wet and ripe
Against me
Red lips archaic and distant
I have rent the curtain
That led to the holiest of holies
Now it is only a matter of time
Before she forgets my name
Before she let's his name slip through her lips
And I bash the mirror with my fist again
Imagining it is her
Frail rib cage beneath
My gashed oozing knuckles
Three fingers in
A warm tongue slides against my brain
She ***** the weak ones like me
Breaking us in
Making the next goodbye easier
Her television dramatics
Slamming doors and suitcases
Raise a fuss from the neighbors With itchy ears
Pressed against the walls
Furiously they ******* to the
Sound of her fists thudding weakly against my chest
Tears dripping from my cheeks or hers
You *****
They hang on our words
Like scarecrows in an autumn wind

I want to read yall's poetry  forever
Things change always but
Some things remain the same
I want Bernadette's Poetry
She knows I gotta be her number one fan
Love that girl

Makiya, miss green
You'r ethereal grace
Mots dépendant de vos d'à de suis de je d'intrigue

amoureuse de lundi d'oui d'Oui.
Petit dessus de jusqu'au de poumons de mes de Remplir de fumée de La d'aiment
de mots de vos de titres de mort de vos de La
Ann ****** I am crushin' on real hard
And victoria
Like clockwork she indulges me
Even
The poems I am
Not so proud of
Anon C
and Odi...I miss the shadow of your
Shape against my soul
Your words filling my cranial cavity
Like fire spreading
All of those who read and do not comment
That's alright. As long as you don't find me
Annoying on your feed
Follow Me :)
I follow back

The game stays the same
I've lost and lost again
Sleeping in ******* crack houses
Or any warm place
Though I do not regret
The memories ensnared on rubber cement
On my past
Life passes though and with each new day love is found
The moments tick away
But time as they say
LIFE'S BIGGEST ILLUSION
I moved into my grandparents house
They made a little bedroom for me
It is perfect
My parents ...still too fresh in my mind
The pain in my heart belongs to them for
Rebellion is a cruel taskmaster
I work at their church
And they  make me dress up nice
I sit in a pew and sing along
The familiar sting though
Tempts me to make
Just one phone call
To see how he's doing
I won't buy any pills...I promise
A surprising refuge I have found
I wake up like clockwork at four a.m
And run like I am being chased through
The humid 18 hole golf course
Right on their back doorstep
The trees are wonderful, and
A canal overgrown lies past the treeline
And into the deep swampy wood
The willows as mourning widows
Hang over a certain pond I have discovered
There is a girl
But she is the Jesus type
She teaches elementary at the church's school
Her name is Amanda
Her hair is curly and
Her eyes are blue and
Her voice is sweet and gentle
Here hands small
White delicate things
She
Must
Have caught me staring
I will ask her tommorrow
To come eat dinner with me and my grandparents
Maybe we will play Scrabble or
Go to walk to my secret place where the willows
Weep on my pond
I am a king
Happiness floods my heart
Because I know I'm lucky
And at this moment
I am content with this life

The men line up
Up against my brain
Too big for its skull
They bleed out my eyes
And eyelashes become their noose.
But you don't ever get in line.
So you won't be finished off.
Done, you sewn up creature,
Will you keep this name?

Go ahead
Finish me off with your broken
Neck intentions
I see how your eyes flutter and shut
Like a hospital bed curtain
I see the hangmen
Dangling from your
Eyelashes

Slowly fire red
blood dries to a maroon
and, there, a raccoon
mocks your crawling carcass

Ha ha you know the rhyme then
Again and again
I'm looking for someone who can understand
Awkward crisscrossing needle and thread
Your hands are stained red with my blood
Now you are gone
Your absence leaving
Bleeding bullet holes
That anyone can walk
By and put their fingers in
I love the quick high
The exasperated rush but
I wish now you did not leave
Such a perfect exit wound

Needle and thread shaking
But Why? Haven't I done this before?
A thousand times
Change his name.
Sew him up.
Scared every time.*

You changed your name
A thousand times since last we met
I am cold and tired my wounds deep
I love you no-name
Sew me up