No one is that lucky
Telling me
You're free as a bird
No one is that lucky
Flying wing
Into the wind
That beautiful earth
Stretching out before you
Anywhere, Everywhere
Spend a day in the clouds,
But no one is that lucky
No one

Oh yes I fully understand
The sounds of this world are good and bad
Good and bad
Good and bad
Nothing like the sound of a good rhyme
A chime
A dime
The sound of a kiss
THE LOUDER THE BETTER I ALWAYS SAY
The sound of a forest
Sleepily
The branches scrape and scratch
Ratta tat tatting on the window
I love to hear the ones I love
Say I love you too
But  bad sounds are just as bad
A breaking bottle of good *****
A child crying in a store
A branch
Ratta tat tatting on my window at night
A car crash
A crying girl
Or your parents fighting
CRACK BANG SLASH KURRANG BOOM RING A DING DING
So I guess  to put it all into a rhyming couplet

If a sound is bad I hates it
If it’s good I loves it

Sleeping one night on a train to Vietnam, You carved our names in a heart On the TatTered scraped and ruined wall of the sleeper cabin.

Back in Good Ol' West Virginia I carved a heart all about me and you into a park bench. I'm sure that bench has got rained and poured and sunburned for a good year now.

What about that time on the Ferris Wheel
Where I wrote a "Jacob Loves **" right on the peeling paint
(you know that one was rough cause the Splinterhead who ran the ferris wheel found out, and beat the **** out of me) Before they kicked us out
I got in two or three good punches, and you laughed at my *******
As you nursed my ****** lip with some Ice in that MCDONALDS off I95

Most of all I rember 'cause
You kissed me on my broken lip
And my black eye
And My probably broken rib
****, I may have lost the fight
But I sure did win

I just want plain old you. I don't need no trappings. Simple plain jane.
I just want the you that wakes up in the morning
Having drooled on your pillow.
The you with morning, and coffee, and ciggarette breath
The you who puts her hair up when she doesn't feel like dealing with it
The you who sits next to me in sweats and one of my torn up t-shirts
Eating Ice Cream
and falling asleep on my shoulder
The you who doesn't always say goodnight or I love you
The you who gets mad and cusses and yells
I mean...who doesn't

I've just come to realize
That the plain old you
Is my favorite you
Nothing plain about you
You don't have to try to knock my socks off, good lookin'
Whether your walking to me or away...I like to watch your hips sway
Going to and fro
Ain't it a sight!
Lookin' in your eyes
Well, there's nothin plain about those eyes

Respond to me
Leaving single lines of poetry
A letter or a parable
Give me strength
With a single look
Of your eyes
Driving me
Back to the wind
Without a wave goodbye
I want to send you a line or two
Maybe one or two
But you are so far away
At a strange adress
Living a life I have not seen
I am in love with you
Innocent and pure
One or two lines
Condensing
Forming
Until crafted word
Contains blood and bone
I am these words as much as they are me

I do not claim to be the strongest or the most important, but I would treat you like a gift from fate
I will carry the weight of your lonliness until you fall fast asleep. Holding your hand until my final night is come.

Maybe this is the moment of realization that will give me reason. Instead of keeping your picture under piles and piles of books, and empty cigarette packs. My tables and my shelves and my counters are cities of bottles. The Burning Angel Seraphim Alcohol kisses me, I feel her warm tongue in my throat. No one can caress my mind as you have. No once can slow it down enough. Your necklaces are still broken. Beautiful silver chains that glimmer in morning sunlight, and shine at noon. If I throw them in the river, if I throw them in the sea. Your Necklace Your picture all so easily gained are not easily lost. I want to throw them from this moving car. To lie and rust on the roadside. I cannot bring myself to do it. I cannot put the picture in the fire because it calls to me in words uknown; pulling me back to that which I no I have no part.
You are a seraphim. Let not me see your feet in the holy of holies. Your eyes are two coals that burn a terrible glow, yet they soothe me in my dreams. They call to me with the thick voice of incense.

I will find the space between us is a great void
Parting and parting us for ages to come
I will watch you in the glowing of the heavens
In the glow where dreams are true

I watch your house from fade into the horizion
From the back of a pick up truck
Back to texas in the summer
I smell you on my t-shirt
I'm just a ghost
Your just a dream
The stars are bright out on the Highway
Once you climb down from the light
You start to see the dark is someonelse
Someone other than the son
My breath is steam outside a bar now
Breath you once felt on your neck
Cherry stems Jack Daniel twilight
All of these girls have eyes so bright
But not as bright as your sleeping form
A window full of pale moonlight
I hear you whisper in my drunken hour
How your never gonna leave
A kiss I think has no distance
The phone gives me your kiss on the cheek
So I go home back to a lonley motel
With dying lights and floating moths
Empty packs of ciggarettes
I watch the ashes fall and blown in the wind
I can't hear your voice
I sleep alone here every night

But you sleep soundly on his bed now
you took off
that little ring
that I worked day and night for
While you sleep away from me

I hear your yell o'r the reciever
Hollering a name I know
How he loves you and he treats you
Better than you've ever known
Does he work his fingers to the bone
Barbed Wire DUST

Sleeping doesn't come so easy
Sleeping won't do any good
Beer and STAR-FILLED Nights in texas
A lone star state of mind
Old country on the radio
That my grandad listened to

I came back from texas
Walking up your lawn
The dew is the same
All around
It's been a year
One *******
My hands aren't a boys hands anymore
I am stronger than I once was
Tanned from summer suns
But your still the same in your yellow dress
Your bedroom still isn't clean
We fell asleep after waitng so long
Your smell was as always soft
An angel I had lost
A year ago
Nights and nights
Upon a telephone
Its one week home with you
Then the road

Sweet Carolina
I love your little voice
I love your little mind
I want to share your days
For the rest of time

But he became an astronaut
And had his first mission to space
Dear John this is Houston
You’ve seem to have gone dark
Please reply?
But astronaut John didn’t reply
Because his tether had broken loose from the fuselage
And he was now at the mercy of space
Quickly floating out into the endless unknown
Johnny was scared
As he floated for hours
And days
Off to find better adventures
Off to make better times
Off to find what I can’t

I am the authority of this poem
I can open it and close it at a whim

I can pull it apart and back together
But just as strongly it can control me

Her secrets are whispered in darkness
Her truths are shouted in the streets

Of sunsets or snows or broken bottles
It has meaning
My meaning

Hidden in its quiet pages
I find all in this world I need

Has it really been so long
Since I last felt love
I worry some
That I won't feel it anymore
Someone to laugh with
Someone to cry with
Someone to die with

When I die I will be reborn
As a star off in the north
Will I then begin to understand
Love is not a feeling
Love cannot be planned
Love is a single time and moment
Caught inside my chest

I just want something
To make me feel that way
The way that I used to feel
That way I used to feel
How you look in your eyes
That look in your eyes
The way your hair fell down
Into a shadow from a ship
As it blocked out all the sun
As it floated on and on

I became
A traveler
Just so I could see the stars
I  left at sunset I flew out into space
Out in it's silence I saw the sun go flying by
Moving so quickly
I thought a moment but an hour had gone by

I saw in the distance
After years of planning led
Me to the conclusion
That a black hole was ahead
So I fly on for a while
Listening to numbered charts
Pushing the engines to the max
I fly on for awhile
Till I become a speck

I remeber you standing
Your wave was so fierce in that wind
Full of the meaning that I would always be alone
I'll never forget you
The last  human that I saw
Waving and crying
Telling me "You don't have to
fly alone"
But I fly on I fly on
With nothing but computers speaking in my head

At night I sit here
The radio plays white noise
Waiting for your voice agian
But I'm lost out in the dark

Your lying in bed agian
My picture still tacked to your wall
You won't say goodnight agian
You won't say anything at all
But your tears are a treasure
They can tear my life in two
I'm millions of miles
Away away from  you

I sat and watched you as you were making all of those  mistakes
I wondered if you would ever believe me that you just can't go that way
But you knew what you knew and you kept on going. letting the light shine in
It's bright and I'm hoping
Time will not know me
I'd rather be turned to rain

But it's dry in the summer and I'm hoping and hoping
that your leaves will never  change
When the winter is coming, I know that I'm lying
I'll make the same mistake

You couldn't tell me
One good reason
Why you should stay
But you kept talking
Lightning and thunder
Without any rain

Important little words can
Tear, Burn, Hinder
Heal, Hold, Wonder

Your a brittle ***** believer dreaming of the days
A devil hearted deciever
A careful little game
Of listening for a phone to ring
The static, the reciever, talk until you say
Something I believe in
Careful in your ways
I say goodbye
I'll miss you
I wish that you could stay,                                            


             ­    But

Your a danger to yourself
Finding your own way out
Means a bullet to your brain
Finding  your own way home
Singing all the way

You told me that you need me
You told me of the days
Before we were together
Before you knew my name
How you walked into the future
Looking for some words
Carved into the trees
Blown upon the wind
Flying on a wing
Hunting with the fang
The terror of the moonlight
The darkness of the rain
Silent Sunsets
Words and Names

Soft Skin Spread Red
Wet Vein Breathe Squeeze
Whipsper Kiss'er

I feel it in the grass and in the driving rain
In lonely amber sunsets
Ending long hot summer days
You tell me it's not real but I'm sure that I can feel it
If you give us one more chance
Were never gonna make it
So here's to giving up
Raising up your glasses
A toast to sleeping alone
And one for lost romances

I'm gonna take my time
Give or take a minute
When your talking about life
I don't really need it

You talk to me about love
Like it's a place you visit
Just to sit a while
You leave before it's ended
So you can't understand
This feeling that I'm knowing
Cause you're already gone
One day you will regret it

I hear you calling sweetly
-*******-
I shan't answer

You told me how you sailed the seas in nineteen hundred
53
You joined the navy as a boy
Just so you could see.

You told me of ports in far away lands
Where Beautiful Women laugh
Who with  red lips kiss you late at night
Drinking from a flask

Your words were true
Of oceans blue
Green seas
Clearest water
The salty taste and ciggarettes
Friends coming home in boxes

You always say those were the days
The days that always haunt you
You learn to live, and love and drink
And drink straight from the bottle

Kiss and ****
**** and kiss
Repeating seeming
Dreaming Dreaming

You make me feel so fine
Day breaks like a burning ember
Too soon it always seems
Stay up all night and listen
To a waking dream
Where is the magic sleeping
I used to feel it all the time
But now I lie and listen
To a broken melody
Where is that meaning sleeping
I used to feel it all the time
I left one night when you were sleeping
In somebody elses bed
I can feel it in a moment
Like a rush of blood into my head
A needle to another vein
I want you to know I wake up
In the same old world as you
What makes us so different
A world thats crazy
A sky so blue
Cloud number nine
Came right on time
Like a rush of smoke into my lungs
I think  I hear a whisper
On the reciever
Your a deciever
Dream Breather

I will find rest in some sudden moment
I hope that it will be more beautiful than I can understand
And for that first time ever
All of this I know will be gone forever
My two eyes have seen so much already
My two feet have so walked so far

But I'm young now
and I just dont have time
to write it all down
So for now I'm gonna walk until my feet hurt too bad to walk
and look with these two eyes of mine until their just to tired to open

I find your room the way it has always smelled
The smell of crushed petals, young love, lust
The sound of your breath is love letter soft
No softer silence has been broken than that in between
Your each and every breath
If I could see into your dreams
Full of lakes glowing in sunset and the smell of pine drifting
You are in your forest
Walking for the sake of wonder
Learning the sound of the world
Dreams
I stand here over your sleeping form
My heart beats so quickly
The weight of it all
Resting in my chest
White soft sheets and the smell of lavender
I know you sat awake reading
Les Fleurs du mal
I know you sat awake reading
As you told yourself
That I would be there soon
But sleep took you in that sudden moment
I know you told yourself
You would close your eyes just for a moment
And I would be there soon

Yet you sleep so soundly in the dark
As you wait for me in shaded dreams

Here I kiss your sleeping lips
Begging for a moment of your warmth
Wishing just for a moment of your warmth

Walking alone
Down down darkened roads
Cars pass lazily by
In chilling moonlight
Trees bending in a  quiet fog
Softly goes the breeze
Stars thrown out like embers
On a darkened sea

Then all along
My wandering mind I lead
My memories fade too quickly
To a night like this I had with You
From six months ago at least


I see you  sitting alone
At a party in Ohio
Laughing at a song
That someone played
Just to win you over
I watched you laugh in childish joy
I wish would never stop



I wish there was something I could say before I leave
To make you want to go
Yet I find myself walking out
Into the winter cold
And just as I began to walk
I hear you coming out
Telling me to wait a second
Before I get too lost

You ask me where I'm going
And I say "I dont know"
But you say you'll walk with me
Once you grab your coat

I don't know where we're going
I don't know where to stay
But from beside me I hear you saying

"If your walking out to nowhere at least go my way"

Your a shooting star I think
Speeding right between us
And the moon
the sea
Your moving at speeds so incredible
That my mind spins a million turns
Just from the walk of your voice
Your laugh makes me smile
Right here in public
Embarassing the life out of an interstellar being
When you laugh
Your scotch flavored lips
Taste purple or green
Beautiful shining sunlight pours through the car window
Beautiful shining sunlight pours through my mind
This is such a endless moment
One untouched by written word
Not poisioned by a spoken sound
Leaves waving on a tree
Swaying in a gentle song breeze
Listening to the sound of nothing
Hearing all about the meaning of such a  sight
Some things in this world no one can understand
Except the warm touch of a shooting star
Between the moon
Between the sea

I see you agian
In your soft fragile beauty
A  new orchid pale
But I see in your eyes sadness
The ache in a spiders legs
As it crawls to the center of its web
A cold breeze tossing it upon a sea
A fresh look of terror
Shivering in the moonlight
You haunt my dreams
I am ****** to a life of silence
A cold shiver in my limbs
A cold shiver in my limbs

Have you heard of the Slender Man?
He loves the fog covered streets
Fog so heavy and thick
He loves the dark woods
So easy to watch the Children

When little boys and girls
Tell mommy and daddy about the man
In his suit
Long arms and legs
That grow and wrap around
And squeeze and pull into darkness
They laugh and say "go to sleep"
But he is waiting in the dark
A dark shadow faceless
Watching us sleep
I know so soon it will come inside
and take us

Marble Hornet


He is there
Watching the little boys and litte girls
Just out of sight
Faceless
You never notice him before
But it goes without saying that
Now you will see him
and
Believe Me

Hope that you never see him

Peril
The storm of life
I sleep in the darkness
Packed into the pitch black
Inside a coffin crushed under the pressure under the dirt

I always thougt I would go in some car crash
On a long highway  
In the middle of the afternoon
Some perilous rush hour
Daily commute

Or in some great battle as a king
Killing my ten thousands
Covered in dirt and grime
A hero of people

But I died alone
Lying in this bed
Waiting for my kids
Who never visit

In my night
I was broken
I am lost, I am torn
and I'm waiting for a reason
Or some meaning

Your so far in my distance
This road far too long
But your words fall so heavy on my heart now

We use drugs
We drink pain
By the bottle
Down the drain
Just trying to forget
Where we came from

All  the lies
And the cheating
We knew love
Took our beatings
From the people that we thought we deserved

But were moving through the dark now
Catching sight of the moon
Through tree tops and leaves falling slowly

Your so far in the distance
I am trying to remember your every feature
How your eyes caught that moonlight your skin was red
From the day and you were curled up in someone else's arms
And I know that I'm dreaming, this world is far too big
So I'm trying to forget all these feelings
But its there
Somewhere hidden
In my dreams
in my heart
The sound of your voice on the receiver
The look in your eyes
Long nights knowing that you are a million miles away now

Today I walked in from work
Making my way throught the strange and quiet house.
I couldn't understand when I walked into my room and saw you snuggled in my blanket
My bed has never looked so warm and so inviting
Your red hair spilling all over the pillows
Cascading into the shadow
I laid down fully dressed
Laying there in a dream
You are evreything that I will ever need
My best friend
pocketwatch
rain cloud
kissing booth

So strange to see your lips agian
Pursed and perfect
Red stained Beautiful

All so warm and simple
Not like the others
Her whole life is sweet and gentle

You can watch the parts of my life you touch
Turn away from the stoney lonesome
Your vines, your ivy, sweet smelling flowers
Wearing angel soft petals bloom in the pale moon

So what is left for me?
What more do I need?
I have my "Shelter from the Storm"

So
a long tired kiss is in order
on sleeping lips
soft and unkowing

Curling up in the warmth next to her
The flower wrapping her warm petals about me
I need nothing else in this world
As I begin to drift off into sleep so complete
A rustling on the bed beside me
Warm lips touch my ear
I hear her breathe "thank you"
and like that she left me there

I wake up alone
On this old couch
Sunlight creeping in through the broken blinds
In this trash apartment
In this nowhere town
Sober

On a space station Me and You
Just me and you living up there all alone
I’m sure that  this space station would be too big
To see You every day
So I write love letters
And I fold them up
And  leave  them floating all over the place
Just for you to find

Saturday morning
I bolt awake
Oh ****
I'm late
I'm up
Throwing on
Clothes
Digging in piles
Looking for my keys
My hair is all over
I smell...
Unkempt
Why do I smell like a party? Like smoke?
There is no time to waste
I'm out the front door
I scream inside at the devil sun
There across the yard I see someone
My neighbor Dave
Having a smoke
It's gonna be one hell of a
saturday ain't it?
I stop and stare
Confused
and then

Yeah Dave.
So far it's been a real *****
I go back inside my cave
Lurking in the cool darkness
I find my bed and pull off my pants
Back to sleep
On Saturday morning

Today I saw for the first time
A white flower growing outside
Out on the yard
They throw the ball
Waiting for a sirens call
I looked up from my silence
And to my surprise  a
U.F.O  hovered near by
Without a moment of fear I knew
I walked towards the glowing disc
Tears melting in my eyes
Beauty
From an open hatch I saw him smile
My father  coming to talk for a while
He walked up to my with tears in his eyes
And said “Don’t worry bud, it’s alright”.
We had a long talk that day
Even in the cold sprinkling rain
Memories so deep and full and fresh
My father’s face all wrinkled to death
I love you son more than life itself
Across the yard an orderly yelles
Inside for snacks and medication
I smiled at my father
Still so much to tell him
But he waved goodbye
And I waved goodbye
And a short walk inside
To white hospital walls
I took my pills and sat and wondered
As off in the distance a small ship hovered
Looking for a moment as if to say
A moment of looking can be as long as a day
A nurse walks by her hair white-blond
Towhead said
You’ve sure stared out that window for a long time, ***

I used to get asked the same question all of the time.
Even now time is a funny word.
I was a boy once so long ago I cannot remember
I was given a chance to see the face of God
He came to me in a dream one night and told me
Well…that’s just between us
Let’s just say that now
I have a handicap
God told the universe that it isn’t allowed to **** me
Nothing can **** me…well cause it was my turn to be God
Sounds great hunh?
I thought so too at first
I learned pretty quick that immortality was the only attribute God gave me
Before he left for good
Disappeared  
Whatever you wanna call it

So here is my life in a nutshell. I’m immortal. I did it all, I saw it all I got it all.
There was not a place on earth I hadn’t seen but
Then my dad died
Then my mom
Then my brothers
And sisters
And friends…
All tasted sweet death
I tried to make more friends
But after ten or twelve lifetimes of that I said ***** it
I just read every book man had ever written
Humans are smart I must say and there is nothing  they won’t do
To stay alive
Glass skyscrapers went up
Towering into space
Teleportation, artificial intelligence, interstellar  space travel
Next thing you know humans got a hold on every planet from here to the A6
People if that’s what you want to call them
Cause they are half machine, half pure energy
Had the setup
I traveled to every planet man had discovered
People began to live so long I could have conversations with all of them
Then one day somewhere on the outskirts of the known universe
BOOM
The biggest ******* explosion since well…I don’t know. It just demolishes a couple colonies.
People long ago were no longer programmed with fear so everyone just went on as normal
Until all around us
Suns began to explode
Creating more and more black holes
I returned to earth, and watched as the milky way began to get ****** in
It was so hot when we got near the sun I could swear ….whatever
Suddenly I’m alone floating through space the few remaining stars were not easy to get to
We’re talking millions of years of bouncing off of space debris while suffocating in the vacuum
I glided slowly to the surface of some blazing blue star
Experiencing the fun of being constantly vaporized and then pulled back together
Until one day….the last star got too hot and then it shattered
It was the most incredible explosion since…well
I think I flew for a few billion years, I kind of lost count after awhile
I was surrounded by blackness forever in all directions.
A blackness so perfect.....a darkness that is so complete
Suffocating
Alone
Maybe God is around here somewhere…
It’s been trillions and trillions of years like this. By myself
By myself.   Billions and Trillions of years
The Holy Stillness

To Em
I’ve been tryin to send you letters for the longest time now
But they’ve got me movin  
Bed to bed
Hospital to hospital
Everything is dirt here
They say Im gonna lose both my legs, Em
Truth is I’m scared
I’m far away from home
In this ****** jungle
And I’m just trying to survive
I don’t wanna die Em
I wanna see you so bad. I Know
This is all a dream and in a minute Ill wake up
And you’ll be layin there next to me warm
Your hair all soft on my face
I can smell your perfume

Teardrops

Tell me Em that your waitin for me
That I ain’t comin home alive
For you
And you ain’t there
Em, your my life
Your my angel
Savin me from all of this
I lay here and listen to full grown men cry and beg for death
Men screamin for their mommas

Teardrops

I lay here quiet with my pillow over my head just dreamin about you
Bout us
In my bedroom wakin up in the morning cause the dog wont shutup and has to ***
And I can just get up and let him out
I just wanna walk on the grass in the front yard
Inside your wearin my Led Zepplin  shirt just smiling at me standin out there like a fool
I just wanna hear the dogs bark down the street again
I just wanna see my room
**** in my own toilet
Sleep in my own bed
Brush my teeth in my own sink
And for ******* christ’s sake take a shower

I think about you all the time Em
And if I die
I promise no matter how bad it hurts
Ill be thinkin bout you
Takin me to heaven
Kissin me on my shoulder.  Huggin me on my neck

I went to a brand new town
Spread out across the desert like a prom queens legs

The place has one restraunt
The place has one gas station

I made a mental note to look em' all in the eyes.
The guy at the counter was human enough

His nametag said MIKE
Mike, your *** is mine

What'll it be boy
**** people who call me boy

Just this
bottle of water

That'll be a dollar, son
**** people who call me son

I pull out a dollar
well...a dollar that looked something like a Colt Python 357.

That put a damper on ol' mikes day
I bet that **** fool ****** himself

I wonder If he noticed the sunlight flickering off  guns mother-of-pearl handle
I sure did

Take all the money. Please just don't **** me
I don't want the money, Mike

He whimpered when I said his name
******* always do that

What do you want then.........
Mike, I want to **** you

Sure enough he had to have a reason
The worst ******' word in the world

Why

and its nemesis

Because

You want to **** me just because?
because why?

Right there I knew Mike would never get it
He would never understand...poor old mike

Your about to get a wake up call Mike
Your about to be free as **** and not know what to do with yourself

Mike stands there with his hands up shaking
At home his wife is talking on the phone to her sister about going up there on vacation

Mike says
Please I have a wife and kids

Please don't **** me
Please Please dear God don't **** me

Mikes daughter was making him a fathers day card with a glue stick and glitter
Mikes son was licking the **** of some girl. Parkeed out by the Big Red Rock.

Mike Listens
Mike wants to live

Listen Mike
I say cool calm and collected

Your about to get it mike
Mike imagines his wife reading his obituary

You are about to lose your own soul Mike
You know...gain the whole world

Your about to be free Mike
You are one of the lucky ones

No need to thank me once you've gone Mike
You just enjoy it

For a second Mike looked like he understood
like he mighta got it

Let that which is given
Become lost

Let that which is gained
Become lost

Let this ******* pig, ****, trash, ****-stained-matress of a life
Be put out with the Monday trash

Mike knew he was in for it
Done for

I asked mike if he wanted to die like a man
I looked him hard in the eyes

He said he sure did
I asked him if he was ready to do the work of the universe

The work of god
Yes I am

I hand mike the gun
and the first bullet takes me through the right eye

So slow I can feel the optic nerve sever
before I die

before I die
I see mike standing over me

Looking down at me
this giant bleeding hole in my head

Mike says thank you
I tell him...Hey Dont Mention It

After he empties the rest of the rounds into my head
Mike walks out into the desert

He walks to my car
Fills it with gas

and gets inside
right there on the seat where I left the

box of shells for him to find
reloading

key turn
engine crank

and the car pulls slowly onto the street
the car drives down the desert road

****, it sure feels good to be free

It would be this one
It will tell you alot
                            
                          Dear

I had a note for you I scratched on this envelope
but it was ruined in the rain
it used to read so well
now the only word not melted is

                         Jessica

Ruined. So I picked up my pencil sure that this time
Just this once I could write words enough to make you mine
but there
alone on the page in naked pencil waiting

                          I

But i can't start with i
that is so selfish
so
i
begin to go agian
trying to make a something out of all the nothing
but its hard to name a poem so how 'bout let's call it

                       Love

No GOD NO
that is way too tacky
what would she think
So embarassing
So childish
So simple
You don't deserve the simple
You deserve the incredible
The awe-inspiring fire


                                  You

and there it stops me
lost and more lost
because when I think of you
all the fire is kindled


                                   You
are my evreything

so i put down this pencil
and write in my head
a future I have seen once or twice
in the lonely corner of a dream



                                     Dear Jessica I love you
                        I carved on that tree
                        In the noise of summer bugs claws birds wings breeze
                        I saw you smile walking towards me
                        Your feet silent on the blanket of the warm grassy ground
                         Your pale feet smeared with mud
                        It was in a june, july or august
                        A quiet summer dream
                         Me and you far out in nowhere
                        As the record singer plays the song
                         "Together"
                            (that song)

                        In a meadow
                          Dreaming
                        I know I felt it in the warm of your hair
                        When you wrapped your arms around me
                        You kissed me soft on the neck
                         I felt your skin as you squeezed me
                         Your eyes were so close
                          Close to my mind
                          and in a moment of your laughter
                           and in a moment of your joy
                                          a moment forgetting
                            life and all the noise
                            
                         I felt your breath sweet
                         I felt your whisper soft
                            melting the glue in my mind
                        In my dream I knew you kissed me
                         In my life you will never see me
                        
                I traded this moment for all that I had
                      and rode the river Styx to the belly of hell
                       and rode the river Styx while humming that song

god
you can feel him in each breath taken by the plants
                                   each breath taken by me
Chlorophyl
Bromine
Cell Structure

god  
is not in the breath of my lungs
or in the depth of my eyes
is not in the hurt of my heart
or the kiss of my spirit

I am a saint
Blasphemy


God
He is no feeling or breath of this world
He is no idea
No crusade
Cross
Truth
Book

He is the understanding and knowing
In this thought
Maybe, I am alone

You understand
My inside
My head
My Mind

So I get the feeling
That Right Now You Know What I Am Thinking
I think I said that all out loud

You smile and say
"You are a child in my eyes, but I see you as a demon
tearing at the gates of hell with sharpened teeth gnashing.
I see you as an angel kissing the hand of my mother
Asking my father God Rest His Soul
For my hand.
I see you coming down from the mountain
All the world ablaze
All the universe
All the nothing
You come to me with gifts of water and light
You leave me with moment of shattering loss
In this lighting and thunder I understand
You are nothing but a boy
Stuck in this world

You are nothing but a scared boy learning to be alive
Nothing but a angry boy playing"

Maybe now you understand me
The soft word has stolen the heart
The pen and the sword

The storyteller
Raconteur
My young life
You tell me
Is a gift, and when I come of age
I will understand

Yet he tells me not to worry
To run in forests
To kiss women
To drink and be merry
This world is so full of malice
One more child
Lost in fantasy cannot hurt it

As I grew I realized
My friends still run in forests
Kiss women
Drink and be merry
But this world is not all malice
Although sometimes it is unkind

Finally I have found the hidden meaning
The long lost
Men have strived for years to see it
Scientist Heroes Titans

But I found it one day
some old summer day
when the sun rays woke me up
-dancing from the blinds-
on the skin of your naked back they danced
so I wrapped my arms around you
and I fell back to sleep

I've come to realize that your not from this town
You are some long place away
The trash that I live in

I walk the streets
or drive my car
I know all the drug dealers
And all of them know me.

All the hippie guys
who are stuck on some concept
smoke ****
eat shrooms
become god
kinda concept

All the rednecks
Trucks and Jeans
tabacco spit

This trash town
that I love so much
the gas stations
at midnight
we are lost as can be

but what does it matter
when you aren't here
you're in some far town
across years of rain soaked highways
bright headlights
miles

I guess you have beautiful eyes
all those straight lines you make in my mind
I have so much to ask for
you dont want it all because you forget
I know what I'm doing
When I see you walk by
When I watch you walk by

I guess when your lost in this world
where the one you love
doesnt have your name
burned into their mind

Please don't be much longer
It's already been clock after number
Please I know

Its fun to be so lost
but you should remain down there as long as you can
lost in the sky

I feel inclined to forget all about you
to just let it all go and pass out to sea
but like stars they come back
thoughts of you every night.

Rember that time
At the end of the path
Full of grasshoppers mating
When We sat on the edge of
The edge of that old dock

I rember because we talked about your dad
How he was murdered some warm night  in may


I rember because we watched the fish jump
How the river went so fast
I can never forget

I rember
Too well

I want nothing more than to

                                                forget


One afternoon we spent together
A lifetime I will still be trying
To do nothing more than
                                                forget

rolling wind
kiss my face
I listen

as God of my
world I must
tell you

I see the world
happen 'for my
eyes

Sometimes I
wonder at you
what world
you see in your
blue eyes

so love deeply you I. Though sadly I see in my minding eye. A life long without you. So short is my minds eye unknowing dark futures-I long will stop their hauntings. Lingering echoes echo soundly. Maybe dreamer I can hold your eyes. As artifacts in museums silencencing laughing boys. Eyes whose crystal stare read the heart of the strongest, and blink so heavily without remorse.

Man was I down
"I had just lost that girl that hurts the worst to lose"
That night I was feeling it bad
"She came in and said goodbye looking like an orchid"
Sure enough she wasn't answering the phone
"So the girl finally answers and says i found someone who actually cares"
Strange how someone
"Who is your sunsets and sunrises"
says you dont care
"Stranger still how after four years"
Together for ***** dishes, school, parents, needles, records, burnt matches, coffee, flowers, sunshine, phone calls, I love you. midnight.
I love you
"you told me where you had been all those times"
in his bed
So me and that girl from work smoked some ****
and watched the world spin on its head
"I cant believe this world exists"
with the radio still playing
we didnt ****
"like i know you were *******"
looking up through the window
strange how life went on without you
strange how life drags on without you
strange how I dont remeber
"the last time I drove this road alone"
Its so beautiful this time of year.
"life is still beautiful without you"
leaves blow by
and pass behind me

Good god
Im late for work
I can hear her thinking
I watch her leave
her eyes smile so right
I watch the clock go round
I watch the clock around
Off shadows, numbers, lines
I know when the boys come to the counter laughing
begging for a kiss
her black hair
with its line of pink
I can hear her voice
that Southern Belle
through her smile
"Well honey your sweet but Ive got a boy"
She comes home
the front door is locked at night
she drags herself in
broke for the night
and falls into bed
and falls into bed
and falls into bed
Two hundred miles away
I can hear her voice smiling
"I love you baby"
that shiver you only get
when someone kisses your picture
my picture crumpled in the hand of a sleeping doll
My picture crumpled by the Southern Belle