I still think of you
Our love seems so long ago
I can’t let you go, Jon

there he lay sleeping next to me
I still wonder, dream about what could’ve been

can’t go back
am I stuck? will I regret?

so hard to tell when he looks at me that way
I smile in the photos

because it’s the other I’m thinking of

You bring light to my life and he brings laughter.
Your strength carried me on my darkest days and he pushed me to move forward.

Two lives woven into one thread, never crossing, never knowing.

I have two hearts now. My mind split in two directions.

You bring light. He brings laughter.
I can choose to live in darkness or I can choose to live in sadness.

Two monsters inside of me having two separate appetites.
Which do I feed?

For now, I silently throw scraps of myself behind the other's back.
My monsters don't know each other. They have never met.

My monsters love me, because I can't love myself.

ive always had this trouble with words
yet everyone calls it a gift

"you're so smart" "your words are beautiful"

they haven't been in my mind
these words swirl around, they lose their meaning
my thoughts are on loop
phrases fly by
words come and go

misunderstanding - love - new - schizophrenic - restraint - hope

my words jumble in my head
making me feel angry and stupid because I can't sort them out
I don't know what any of this means

you can't tell me I'm smart
you can't possibly understand this
I don't get it

they think they know me, when I don't even know myself

Just like glue, I'm stuck on you.
The things I say I promise true.

More and more everyday,
I'm loving us in every way.

I love you now, I loved you then.
I love you when the clouds roll in.

When we're apart, it breaks my heart.
Your soul to me, my favorite part.

Forever yours, forever mine.
I promise, love, that we'll be fine.

Have faith in me, as I do you.
Just like glue, I'm stuck on you.

Do you ever wonder why we chase the clock? Why must I "Always arrive early!" "Don't keep them waiting?"
I don't follow the hand of the hour.
I rise and fall to my own mind.
Is that such a disaster, mother?
Time does not exist, so why are you chasing the clock? Time does not exist, so why is you're life a rush?
Slow down, Society. We have nowhere to be. Nowhere, but everywhere.
Stop running here and there.
Stop worrying about the time.
Stop living by the hour.

Just be. Just live.

Rise and fall to the sound of the birds. Rise and fall to the feel of your lovers skin. Set appointments by the sun. Live in one another. Let your mind wake you. Wake to the seaside and get there by the way of your feet. Follow your compass not your watch.

I don't chase the clock. I don't follow the hand of the hour.

My life is mine.

Waking up next to you
would be my honest dream come true.

Holding your hand in mine
sipping the sweet red wine.

Never having a care
brushing my fingers through your hair.

Your love awakens my soul
with me, my love, grow old.

She jovially jumped at the jester's jokes.
He scornfully scowled at her silly spirit.

Two people perpetually poised and primped.
Yet, so unlike, unique, and uncannily uncomfortable with one another.

The girl gleefully grinning at the grimace she glued on George's face.
George stomped away staring with stone-cold stature.

Young hearts unaware of their fate. Unaware that one day they would love.

Fiercely, furociously, finally falling.
Loving, lending, learning.

Together.

I hear your words but I don't feel your speak.
I look at your face but I can't see your eyes.

Our phone lines growing longer.
The day's fusing with nights.

When you return I won't be here.
Not with you.

I don't hear anything.
I no longer look at you.

My days are my own
and you
are no part of them.

when my fingers brush your skin
my heart explodes
stars roaming my soul

my cracked happiness fused together
with your golden melodies

breathe life and hope into me
give me your hands
so that I may feel my world changing colors

my sweet, dearest, Tanner
never leave me

Anger floods around me
I wear my jealousy like a coat

Somebody look at me
Let my scream numb your face

My body stitched together with tears
My heart left at the door

Take me away from here
I don't want to be present

I don't care
Just don't touch me anymore

The sun has never shone so bright on August days.
Wind teases her hair, dancing on her face.
He brushes it back with the softest stroke.

Clouds hang low on December nights.
Snow falls on her fingertips.
He is stiff and rigid.

Why can't they love like August winds in December clouds?