I wrote about Z yesterday
and the day before
and times before that
because as of recently
You have peeled back wallpaper
dismantled my studio
drilled holes through walls
and I can only hear his echoes louder now.
So if he was my best ******* friend
and you're my best ******* friend
then what the hell is the difference?
He ripped my throat out with his crotch
he thrusted my finger so far down his eyes
I can't possibly see what's in front of me
I think I lost the ring there
I think I lost the finger there.

You told me you cheated on your ex
14 times
14 different girls, at least.
He did it once.
Now tell me,
how the hell are you different?
Different always hurts.
Different always stays the same.

I guess the problem
isn't really a problem
But an invite would have been nice
A word would have been nice-
Not that sympathy
feel bad for me
*******.

(Invite me
want me
need me)

You know what?
******* leave.

Nearly 6 years
Nearly 6 years
I can feel you in my gut
crawling up my throat
Your hands never left my neck
and I have to ***** the spaces between my fingers
to be sure I still have feeling there.

When one person ruins you,
what shatters the most
is knowing you didn't have a similar impact on them.

Strange,
I didn't affect you.

I thank myself,
with no help from a spirit above,
that I pulled through
your darkness
I am the face of addiction
watching you spiral
Behind curtains and smiles
I waited faithfully
But faith is just a term
and love and forever
don't mean anything after all
You chose them over me
You chose everything over me
You never really chose me to begin with
And you sure as hell didn't choose me to end with

You're ******* selfish
I'm waiting here
I'm starving here
You stole my tongue and my taste
You've left my stomach to waste

You're ******* selfish
You're grim and dark
and I can't slap a smile on your face

I saw this coming before I saw you
And every inch of me knows
I deserve this ache

But please take it back
Please come back

Spitting game
Spitting your words and your venom
Spitting is a single game
And the look in your eyes remain the same
I can feel you leaving me
I can feel you leaving me
I can feel you leaving me

I've been here before
Why are you leaving me again
And how cliche you make me feel
with this ******* broken heart
Fool fool fool me once
shame on you
but **** me **** me
YOU ****** ME TWICE

When I picture my life
You're not always there
I ache