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May 2014 · 312
Wanna.
"I just don't wanna"
Tyler said.

I guess he didn't wanna.

But Christ I could wanna.
I can wanna so hard.
May 2014 · 298
Pictures
I can't control myself.
I want it.
May 2014 · 417
Lonely. Not alone.
The salty ocean air bit his ears.
The sea was angry.

I'm not like you.
Stay there.
Go away.


Silence.

He turned around and walked.
She would never let him truly kiss her.
But his lips had been all over that skin.

I'm done.
You won't let me in.


He felt something crack inside him.
Like a plank of wood shattering.
He felt the shrapnel.

*Medic...
May 2014 · 459
I lost my needle.
That night.
I was going to bleed again.
But I lost my needle.
It slid away.
I guess.

I need to get more.
And some black thread.
I only have beige.

I don't use knives.
I use the tips of very sharp things.
And I go down.
Not across.

I have a cross.
My two most prominent scars.
Faith first. Then myself.
Left. Then Down.
You're going to read this wrong,
Every single one of you.
Because you are not me,
And you cannot see what I'm saying.

No amount of stressed syllables in these lines can
ever describe what it means.
To me.
Why I wrote it.
Why I let you read it.

You will never understand
My understanding.

And that's okay.
It's a long list.
May 2014 · 802
Geckos and Cheerios
Pip pip
My pip boy.
Don't you know how far
This hole goes.

Follow the white rabbit
And see.
May 2014 · 1.1k
Randomly Generated Poems.
And surprisingly respectable. I miss that summer.

Seeing people capitalize the light of morning.

It will be my own hands.

Narcissistic, overconfident, underskilled and I.
May 2014 · 195
Untitled
Omitted*
So ******* ready.
I edited this poem after writing due to its content.
May 2014 · 400
FT
FT
I don't dream of her
But I do.
I really don't want to.

She shows up sometimes,
I get excited, turned on.
But I am reminded,
Your good days are far gone.

Always and never.
Two words of weight.
With you,
I prefer hate.
May 2014 · 305
Randomly Generated Poem.
System of crows stalk the sky. I miss naked, black, raw trees.
Apr 2014 · 270
Eighteen. I counted.
Would someone care to classify
A cadaver six feet below.
What if he arose
In the form of a ghost.
Is he a man
Is he a monster.
Is he in the gray which not men nor monsters touch.

Does he have a home
One not so cold.
Could he ever love,
Could he ever trust
Another.

Is he cold,
Or is he warm.
Do you measure that in degrees
Or personality.

Would someone care to measure
His heart.
Apr 2014 · 214
What is a monster,
Apr 2014 · 293
A New Sonnet
I can’t recall the sound of her singing,
But I could paint the shape of her soft neck.
I can’t describe the joy her being can bring,
But I feel a great sense when she says “Heck.”
Worthwhile she is for any chance I take,
She makes me feel like I have someone safe,
If I had fangs, I know she’s burn her stakes,
Between us both it’s her I would first save.

I don’t think she gets how much I care,
She takes my words and makes them beautiful,
She says she does the things I dream to dare,
I can only dream to have life so full,
To spend my days with her would be great,
I could learn how to love, forget to hate,
I think she’d show me a new side of life,
I think she’s give me a reason to try.
Honestly.
Apr 2014 · 374
An Old Poem
She takes her coffee black.
I cringe.
For what she lacks
In taste-buds,
I make up for in love.
I'm ready to quit trying.
I think I've hit the bottom.
I want to wither.
And sleep.
Fade into dust.
Apr 2014 · 301
Pewter
So gouge out my eyes and call me blind,
Paint my eyes black and call my words flat,

I am the captain of my life!
I am the ocean and the tide,
I am the boat beneath my feet,
So come sail with me,
        Sail this sea.

So grind down my fingers and tell me
          to climb!
I will fly so far away from your lies,
          No time.

Don’t tell me that life is black and white,
Cause I’ve see the reds and blues so bright,
Don’t tell me I have to stay here,
‘Cause there’s so much I fear,
        Come with me dear.

I am the master of my soul,
I fly my colors whole,
I am not afraid to see what’s next,
The future is so complex,
    But your eyes are still my objects
                    of desire.


-August 23rd 2013
I used to scream my poetry, edited this to not be so aggressive.
Apr 2014 · 444
I wrote a Poem, Guys.
I have stains of blood,
Everywhere.
I crave hugs,
Everywhere.
This is not cheesy,
at all.
Today was really breezy,
It was cold.

Hey look,
Apr 2014 · 206
Plans
To kiss her neck,
Is what I want.
To spend some time,
Take it away.
I wanted peace,
Hugs and comfort.
This **** weather
Took that away.
He sat for eons,
God's workbench,
His tools,
Materials.
Brass and gold,
Silver, platinum,
Aluminum,
Electrum and copper,
Rubies and emeralds.

God made watches.

One fine day,
He decided
"Earth."
And grabbed up a frame,
And started filing.
And by God did he file.
The schematics.
The gears.
Must be perfect.

Five days later,
God was almost done,
Only one gear remained,
The finest of gears,
God spent more time
On this one gear
Than any other
In his watch.

This gear is you.
Apr 2014 · 914
The Associative Fear
"No."
"Um."
"Maybe."
"I'll see."
"Wrong."
"Another time."
"Don't."
"Shut up."
"Just- ugh."

Women.
I have a question burning somewhere inside,
It's the kind of question you should hide,
I want to ask it,
I want it to be asked.
Apr 2014 · 495
I Hope A Heartbeat Skipped
Recklessly waving my ribcage like some paper prize for all to see,
I can't quite see what I think,
I trust my gut too much and follow a trail unnamed, untamed, unfeigned.

It's offensive; being pensive and walking slowly, defensive.
It is not my right to gain her sight without giving something in return.
I have nothing to give, when will she learn.

I am a pauper, improper.
I am an author, a stalker,
A talker.

I have words and letters,
The bird's feathers,
But I cannot fly.

I've tried.
Endeavors.
Apr 2014 · 576
Plain
What matters to each his own is something different.
It's not easy to say
For each what may,
For some it's play,
For others, pay.
For me, it was pain.

I'm not the same.
Apr 2014 · 238
And neither am I
"I almost said something-
"But I won't-
"Bye."
And I closed the door.
And smiled.
"She's not supposed to know, Marshall.-
"And neither am I."
Apr 2014 · 245
I Am Not My Relationships
I want to ask for her company,
But that would be too much.

I'm alone on a holy day,
Staring at my new scars.

I like them. I really do.
I like the cross they form.

Unintentional, of course.
How can you plan two lines to meet,

Over one year apart.
Just, lonely. And kinda sad. Slight urges. Nothing satiable.
Apr 2014 · 732
Foreground
I don't quite understand the 'you and I,'
It's good, of course, but I can help thinking
'Could it be more?'
And when I can hear a gasp, a deeper breath with my lips on her chest,
And I can tell that she wants the next one to be a longer hold.

My heart beats faster, my muscles strengthen, I breath less,
Lip more.
Ambrosia.
Apr 2014 · 664
*Italicized "More"*
One of those morning where I want to cry
Over one condescending comment
And curl up into a ball
And die a little.
Apr 2014 · 490
Bread and Butter
Frienemies with benefits
I suppose that's what we are,
It's really not that bizarre.
Kissers, and snugglers and touchers,
not lovers.
We might only go so far.

But if one or no soul asks me,
I am grateful for you,
     And I.
How we're something new.
We're
Sometimes just two in a room.
Sometimes something good ensues.
I'm grateful.
Apr 2014 · 516
Sanguine
One eye too far is what it takes to ruin,
A perfectly good lie.
The watermark holds secrets hidden,
Hold it to the fire.
Apr 2014 · 407
There's a twitch.
There's a twitch on my top lip,
It's a little to the right.
It's being caused by a torturous,
Distasteful sight.

My heart's beating faster,
It doesn't know what to think.
What the **** is this,
Why didn't I see.

I'm going to explode in a thousand little pieces,
Not one of them will be Marshall.
I cannot play this game again, this tango, this grind, this pain, this mistake, this step too forward, this ache, this.
****.
Apr 2014 · 1.0k
'Favalus'
They say I look like a greaser,
Not sure that’s a good thing,
I dress nice, I guess,
I try to look clean,

But I slick my hair back,
It gets a Superman curl,
I smile and walk and talk,
Like I can get any girl.

You cannot own a human,
Even the most coolest.
Apr 2014 · 361
Syllables and Rhymes
All my shirts have bloodstains,
I don’t suppose that’s good.
At night I’d never kneel and pray,
But I applaud people who do.

To write nowdays takes effort,
An effort I don’t have.
Nothing in my life romanticizes,
My pen goes through collapse.

It’s rare for me to produce a thing,
For things require production.
I will sit and stare and waste my days,
I fret over my diction.

My poems are fading.
My life is not.
My brain no longer thinks in poetic lines,
Nor my heart.

My heart thinks in colors and sounds,
My brain does too.

I think I'm nearing a hiatus.
And that's okay.
Apr 2014 · 551
Lunar Eclipse
She's fading,
That body of white light.
Burning in a shadow,
Technically a past.

The moon will drown in red,
And be watched by millions,
No more blue moon.

No more romance.

-

This seraph will bring fourth a new bright,
A light in her own right,
A smile.

Renaissance, rebirth.
Phoenix.
Apr 2014 · 361
Sunset On The Ocean
I saw her eyes echo it,
The sunset on the ocean.
I saw the length of her whole being,
I saw the effort in her motion.

We saw that sliver of red light,
Sitting on the rainbow ocean.
I saw your silhouette,
Against the painting of emotion.
Apr 2014 · 438
Azucar
If I could dedicate a day to her,
It would be today.

Because tomorrow,
I can read this again.
Apr 2014 · 2.1k
The smell of my mother
The smell of my mother
was
Cigarette smoke of cigs targeted towards independent women
was
Perfume of a woman too old to accept the fact that she's aging
was
Clothes from the early 90s and mid 80s which all smelled the same
was
Skin which smelled yellow from her habits
was
Breath which smelled the same
was
Red lipstick
was
Hair dye
was
Lies.
Apr 2014 · 722
Romanticized
Don't romanticize life.
Dirt is dirt.
Ugly is ugly.
Trees burn.
And sometimes things are ****.

Nobody's perfect.
Especially you.
Nothing is perfect.
Especially your perfect eyes.
And how you laid perfectly with your head in my lap.
And how you perfectly stared at that purple octogon on the wall.
And how I called you perfect.
Imperfect.

Don't romanticize those books you read.
I could burn every copy.
Don't exaggerate how much you love that author.
I could shoot him in the chest.
Don't talk about a greater good.
I know we don't have one.

You.
Don't have one.

Selfish.
Skinny.
Pale girl.
With imperfect perfect eyes.
Mar 2014 · 337
Tail Biter
A snake can squirm all he wants, but he will never be freed until he strikes.
Mar 2014 · 379
I dream that we talk.
It's wonderful.
You finally respond.
You smile and things are normal again.
I don't have to wait anymore.
You don't hate me.
I exist.
You do too.

And then I wake up.
I dream that you still love me.
Edit:
I checked my facebook. She messaged me from her mom's account. She's been away. She loves me and misses me. This is the first I've heard from her in almost 4 months.
Mar 2014 · 300
Lustre
I just want to enjoy the comfort and ecstasy of a woman again.
This is all!
I want to make out, and feel and roll around.
To feel a tongue moving around.
To kiss a neck so gently she collapses.
This is what I want.
Sorry.
I wish this was poetic.

I lost it.
Mar 2014 · 635
Gregarious
A belief in safety
Can limit potential.
Living in a circle
Can threaten progress.
Listeing to others
Gives a perception of
Maximums, minimums.

Solitaire played alone
Is the best solitaire.
Problems we face alone
Will usually end best.
Solitary people,
Ones who prefer alone,
Make me the happiest.
-
Wrote this during a performance today.
Mar 2014 · 356
Sanctorum
I only imagine
In shapes and calculations
And measurable values
When I am healthy.

The system starts failing
When I start to idealize
The lack of numbers
The lack of words
And the lack of progress.

An optimistic brain can be more dangerous than the cynic.
Mar 2014 · 646
Solar Plexus
I think I'll take that one step further,
                                                        ­        one day.
Out of this box,
                           into the world.
Out of my mind,
                           into my thoughts.
I think I want to get better one day,
                                                            ­  maybe.
I like being broken,
                                  it's most of what I know.
I know that touch.
Mar 2014 · 528
Taint
I'm screaming.
My glottis has stopped the air form moving, but trust me,
It's there.
With pressure.

My eyes are about to pop out.
Mar 2014 · 426
The silence.
There's an echo that can be heard,
When the sun's blue sky is rising,
It most definitely sounds like a bird,
But what else you can hear is surprising.
Ears.

I hear a hum from a girl of long past,
Her perky lips saying there's flowers,
The air around her is sweet, her heart fast,
She admires the plants, they look like towers.
Child.

I hear a lover's tears as she hears her life end,
I can hear her texts back and fourth through the web,
She reads "No more, none of this, you aren't my girlfriend,"
So sad. Too bad. That's life. The flow and ebb.
Bliss.

I can hear a stomach growl and another missed a meal,
She never eats. When she does, it's reversed.
This secret of hers is dark and scattered, she may never heal,
I hear her fake the sounds of eating, I hear fake her thirst.
Hide.

I hear another poem written,
About someone who cuts,
She thinks it will help her fit in,
But she's only losing trust.
Red.

I hear a father sobbing upstairs,
His daughter has run away.
He knew she was having affairs,
He knew it would come to this day.
Behind.

I hear regrets being made,
I hear the lies they whisper,
I hear both of them say
Our love will never wither.
Liars.

I hear
the ignorance.
Mar 2014 · 530
Capillary
I fantasize about filling all my vein and arteries and my heart with a fine cement, letting it dry and removing the body.
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