Sedated cave troll
Spending days at home
Snoozing and dreaming
Letting this booming city grow,
      Without his influence.

Sick of it, he wakes and stays woken,
Going to paint and write,
Party and love and dance and drive,
Goodbye sedation.

I miss you
Like leopards miss trees.
Like plants miss light.
Like babies miss mothers.
Like I miss you.

I'm not even poetic about it.
It's blatant;
     It didn't have to be this way.

I started to describe you to my friends
As a gravity well
A black hole
Vantablack.

You take EVERYTHING and give nothing in return,
You became an anomaly,
You were my sun,
Then one day your
Gravity became too large,
And you became that... Thing.
Taker.

The way you treat people is unacceptable,
And this is coming from a nihilist.

You are not a bad person,
You started to become one.

The sky is Velvet.
How velvet blue it flows and sings to me the darkness and screaming of the night. It's softens and dampens
The Echoes echolocating and where I am in this world.
On the other side of the sun I hide in his shadow God his shadow still finds me though.
I'm not hiding in his shade, I am bathing in it. These days have become too much to bear, and **** is his shadow nice, his velvet blue shadow. But there's more to this than that,
How high the sky, how soft the air, how hard the ground is on my bare feet as I bruise and bash them against the ground in my constant wandering.

This Velvet Sky, a soft Silk Tie,
Around my neck it holds me tonight,
Tightening this white shirt to my chest,
This Shadow holds me.

Accept the things you cannot change,
And change the things you can.
It's nights like these I wish I could,
And I wish I could hold your hand.
You're further away than the thousand miles between us,
Something we should discuss.

You've closed your ears,
You won't see me
You won't come near,
We can't have the peace I've seen.

Something changed.
Something changed.

Accept the things you cannot change,
This is Buddha speaking.
My Lord and idle
My light of day and shine at night,
My release from dusk and fright.

Buddha speaks through me and
He SHINES through me,
Like the glow of sunlight,
Powers me, encourages me
And jostles me awake.
It takes from me pain,
Gives me strength,
Helps me wake every day.

Siddhartha.

Now that I think of it,
There are things in my chest
I don't let out,
Things trapped behind iron bars
And locked coffers
Things I never want to show,

This is a prison
Trapped in my head games,
Games I play every day.
Praying that every day is a day-
With you.
Not one more day alone.
I wish you knew.

Every cigarette I breathe,
I breathe you.
Every burning breath that I take
Is one that I take with you next to me.

Desperate landscape,
Every road is further
Than the furthest I've been from before-
Ohio is worn, I'm done being torn.

My mind's made up.
Every possibility has been considered,
I know what I choose from here,
And I don't know if it's something you want to hear.

I still choose you.
I choose time and painful nights.
I choose the time apart,
All the hard parts.

Sometimes,
When I'm beginning to drift to sleep,
Sitting or laying with my blindfold on,
I smile.
It's not a weak smile.

My brain thinks of the happiest moments of my life, and some of them are with you.
Always you when I'm sleeping.

I'm worried they'll see me smile.