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jackierutherford Dec 2014
10w
Found an outlet
where I can
SCREAM
eloquently, passionately
POETRY
jackierutherford Dec 2014
Girl ...
I'm so tired of shedding tears -
starting to feel like a hairless cat
Don't know why God made us females so sensitive

We're like ice-cream
sweet, soft, smooth, delicious
taking whatever shape you impress upon us

It ***** ...

When I think I'm over it -
just the merest look or a suggestive hook
throws me right back in a nook

It belies the fact that I'm strong !
Independent, a mind of my own
a leader
Except, - If you look closer
a heart that's made of gold -
which melts at his look or touch
even though, I know
he's going to hurt me so much

I cry - tears of fear
Trouble don't last always
when this has come to past
I will be okay
looking for love again at last

The day will be bright
I'll be coaching my girlfriends on men
having no more tears of my own -
I'll be training her to stand up alone
jackierutherford Dec 2014
Drawn from experiences you bear
Men are not one to care, for strength in their women's demear
weaker ***, we are not !
having to be able to stand on the spot

Men have muscles ! we have brains
they hold strong !    we love fierce

Finding a man, we help him to build his life, his will
we toil for years, trying to bond
developing patterns as we travel along

Making our own history, hoping it last
through tribulations of fighting, cheating - aghast !
Life is good, you love; you laugh;
taking care of your household, forgiving the past

You have dreams of a nice, fine life
so, you work hard, building bridges; making cakes; washing;
cleaning; loving -
Then, out of the blue, he looks at you
It's not the same, what a shame ...

No more communications; no dinners set;
no more sleeping together - nothing,
to offset, the love or potential that you get
when there is love or respect

You fight, with all you have
this is the man you gave your heart ...
he is dead set, because of another
young, fresh, no regrets

It was tough, you burned, yearned
got depressed; fought the tears
the demons on your chest

Its been a year; long, hard year
he's set to go
so, you pick up your skirt
head for the door
jackierutherford Dec 2014
Which man or woman hasn't been dumped
like a pile of garbage in a slump

It comes as a surprise; but, if we are honest -
we saw it coming, - just that -
with anything in life -
Denial rushes in ! - Full Force! -
to block the tunnel ("vision")

Hurt, bruised, mouth agape with speech-less fright
I'm loosing my soul-mate !
Oh my, what a night

Years were spent building this Fort
of love, trust, tears of delight

Then; as you look on...
the walls of your Fort come tumbling down!

Crying, mourning, bent, broken, your ears are ringing
with the sounds of those words you dread hearing!

"Babes, I'm moving on; It's not you; It's me;
You a good person - BUT " !

In tears of turmoil and inner rage
hanging on to your dignity becomes a chore

You pick your lips up off the floor
brace your feet
dry your tears -
cry no more

Accept their denial of your hard, founding love
Open the door - let them go ...
grieve, loose confidence, get depressed -

Because you loved them so ...
Deep poetry from tidbits of my life
jackierutherford Dec 2014
Un-care goes deep. Looking at that door.
I feel no more...
Who would believe, that just a short-time ago
there was joy in the air; laughter in the eyes; words of care

Seeing the regret in his eyes, the shift in his steps, the rigid chest.
Tears comes to my eyes. I can't believe...

Confused about the meanness
I looked with searching eyes
at the ebbing oneness,
leaking down the steps of the once thought love nest

Raising the question, of why ?

He pierced me with angry, empty eyes.
Why ?
All the reasons given, were nothing but lies and denials
He got what he wanted.
Years of emotional, devotions of love and ***
All the essence of my womanhood drained,
What's left ?

Tried to fight for that love we had
but for him; the hunt was over
I was left bruised and had
I fought and fought and fought some more
Nothing I did or said shaked his demure

He said he loved me, but was not "in love"
couldn't make promises anymore
He cringes at my touch
pulls away, and pushes every step of the way

I've come to terms with myself and the situation
My God, it's been months
turned into a year of Un-care

He retreats to his room
closes his door

I hate that door
UN-CARE
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