I have nothing left.
I never truly got past
How I felt,
My feelings for you.

My eyes so bright,
Excited by the light
At the sight
Of the one, of you.

I'm ok, I'm alright.
I know I'm not.
I hate you in the moment.
I still love you.

I live a lie.
I tell you a lie.
I'm done with you.
You are out of my life.

Yet seeing you again
Tells me I'm done.
The knife to my diaphragm.
I'm not over you.

So what do I do?
I ignore you as best I can.
I don't look at you
So you can't read my eyes,
So you can read my lies.

I have nothing for you.
You've moved on in ways I've proved
That I am well and truly incapable of.

My body aches and my body hurts
With the sorrow that I cover
To never let you see
The wounds I carry deep inside of me.

Back on our last day
You drove a shard deep in my core,
A fragment that I never could remove.
I can't let you see
That you still control me.

I'm lost.
My mind is gone.
Theres nothing here for me.
I am nothing to you.

I hate you.
So infinitely with everything that is me.
And I love you.
Uncontrollably, devastatingly.
I never want to be happy.
There's nothing left to believe.

Please, just go away.
I want it no more.
Please, leave me be.
You've paid me back and more,
I am ravaged to the core.
There's nothing left of me.
You've left nothing to me.

I burn brightly in the silence
Of the fires of my own making.

The Jack Attack was back
Even the girl seemed quite fat
Or was it a man or boy
That was the old woman's toy - toil
For it just so happened she was royalty
But her castle was teaming
With gigantic Ants - aunts
Though they might have uncles, or cockroaches
Because her extended family was quite big
Cousins and kids
Ran through the house like baby goats
Ferrets and rats and marmalade stoats
Drumming and strumming... and this poem... what a joke

I'm singing my heart out tonight,
And I'm writing out the poetry of my life.
Nothing else to me seems so pure,
And not a minute of anything other is worth my time,
Because with my voice and my words,
I believe that my message to you is said most clear.

So with those words I hear,
My voice begins to take to the sky,
And I leave you behind.
I have no need, no want to wave goodbye
To you my girl, who used to be my girl,
Because as you asked me all of those months ago not to,
It'd be a waste of my time.
And now, I begin to fight all of those lies,
And I've finally ripped free of all of those ties -
Ripped out all of your spines - free
From my body,
Free from my soul,
And most importantly, free
From my mind,
As I'm so high off of the ground,
Reveling in the perfect sound
Of being so free of the tourniquet that was you.
And I'm out of my mind
- So many thousands of feet off of the ground -
Away from your life,
And away from the sound.
There's so many feet  between me and
You, that tried to plant me firm in the ground.
I just thank God for everyday
The He's kept you away from me.

I've long since lost best how to express the best of me,
Never knowing the words needed to let you know how I feel.
I try to find the courage to give voice to emotion
and fail.
Nothing ever seems as it should be,
So each time I hesitate - I let you go,
Turning in the end to my pen in an effort to tap the flow.
Knowing that I am letting you go cuts deep and true,
But what is the right plan of action when I can't speak?

Maybe one day you will see these words and know the best of me,
Maybe one day I will confess what I've hidden inside,
And maybe one day I will be the man to face my fears
To learn whether you and I could ever be.

Rose* from above came a jet of steam
My nose projected as if from a dream
Fault of my own caused a frown
Assault my pride and I drown
909, coin the term, it's Riverside
Join the crowd, we take a glide
Rain down from the heart
Pain inside as you come *apart

Just thought that you should know
That I'm done playing your games.
Done splitting my time with you
with Him.
I'm so tired of all you have to tell me.
Yeah, I'll call you when I get home.
Only for you to never get home.
And I sit here alone.
Wondering what's going on.
If you don't want to be with me,
Just Tell Me.
Of course it will hurt,
But not as much as living the lie
That day to day in my life goes by.
So here's to you lovebug.
In honor of all we've been through.
The good times and the bad.
Cheers to you babyboo.
And as the title goes...

Looking up into the black velvet sky
As the light shines down bright in imitation of day,
Its the Halo cast off around the burgeoning moon
From the translucent clouds come to life,
And the crispness from the cold bite of the late winter air
That brings me hope and belief for the future.

Angelic grace beaming down from above,
Shining down in smile, bringing rebirth and fruition.
The pregnancy in the sky cannot mean but good for the time to come,
And as I gaze back - the subtle beam of a smile on my lips -
Confidence grows within me with the fertility of the moment.
I know you're out there.
I can feel you out there.
A palpable presence pulling upon my soul.

So long have I seen you from my paralyzed position,
And for how long have these secrets in my heart known.
In the revealing light of this night as I stand alone,
Whispers like the wisps of cloud ebb around my consciousness,
And in the darkness which she left my heart, you are found.
Visions of you, Halo-crowned;
A soft, golden light radiating from your brow.

My Full Moon,
As a feeling of Love abounds.

recently I've had such problems with this
forgetful of things, class, and friends
wake up late, or not at all
and have such the feeling
that the bottom has dropped from my stomach
when recollection finally occurs

I feel like such a disgrace
like a waste of space on this earth
and there is no way to play it off
that doesn't leave you the dunce
oh I slept in, got sick, or forgot
no one will buy
and now you're off worse

I need to settle down
And reorganize, but
For some reason
I don't know what for

Little Elf-like creature
You wandered into my life
Right out of a dream
Enchanting me
Like the race you resemble
Cast your spell
And bite with your Sting
Capturing my eye
Whether you want to or not
Now do with it
What you want to
Or not

The girl over there
Four desks away
Such pretty short hair
So tall with beauty
Would it be fair
If she noticed me?

Dark Beauty
Smile Bright
Black jacket
Black jeans
Tight to curves
Dark as night
Black boots
Beach bunnies wear
Sleek brown hair
Smooth brown skin
A curve here
A curve there
As dark brows arch your face
As dark lashes arch back
From dark brown eyes
Telling hidden thoughts
Masking emotions
Smooth movements
Dark as shadows
That is you
All this darkness
I can't wait
For this night
To see the moon

Feed the birds, tuppence a bag.
Or sit with them and enjoy their company,
And people will call you crazy.
Something is better than nothing though.
Somehow they're less flighty than you,
Those other creatures I pursue.

Strange.

They hoo and coo same as you
But I enjoy the lesser amount
Of squawking and discontent.

Forgive and forgo, but never forget
Because in due time, like begets like.
Chaos begets chaos, and
Sorrow begets sorrow,
Hate begets hate, and
Boredom begets boredom, but
most of all - and most poignantly -
Love begets Love.

So in spirit of that credo,
I forgive you. I forgive you
For all you've done.
There's nothing to be done for it.
It's as the law states, and
So in your life will spawn more
Chaos breeding chaos, and
Sorrow breeding sorrow, and
Hate breeding hate, but
Since, through it all,
I still can forgive, but,
More importantly, Love you,
Love will breed and bring more Love to me.

And for that, I am content to know
That I can forgive you,
Because you've been through the Hell of your own Creation enough,
Without help from me.

Don't try to change me,
Don't try to sway me,
Because this is who I am,
And if you do love this,
Then cool your heels or
You might have to move on
And onto the next version.

Let me be who I am,
Let me live what makes me happy,
And you can join and be,
You can be the best of me.

Or you can fight and scratch it,
Battle it with every tooth and nail,
And when its all boiled down,
You're left as a footnote,
As a line in a song.

You decide which you want:
That white picket fence,
The house with a two-car garage
(read: a bitter husband
living a life he doesn't love
because he followed the wife
he truly does),

Or do you want to be
With me as a man so happy
As he lives dollar to dollar,
One that couldn't be happier
Living a life full of love?

So live with me, or please do not,
Because if you try to change me,
I'll never be what you want.

Everything
Its what I am to you
You say that I am your balance
You say that I keep you steady
My girl
I am everything you want
Except I'm not an ******* to you
You're down
And I'm down with you
Picking up the pieces
You're up
And the only thing soaring higher
Is me
But for some reason
There's always a reason
That you can't commit fully
To me
And I'm beginning to see
That I will never be
Good enough for you

Today could be my homecoming
As I fly away from home
Fly so high away
On my way back to you

My heart and mind have finally set
And - by miracle and miracle again - agree
That its you who I want for me

My little baby
Who fills my heart and soul
To the brim with all my thoughts
Of passion for you
Whether you
Or past the time we grow old

To see your face this weekend
Your hand
To give my heart a hand to hold
And your lips to kiss
Will keep my fire for you full

All that I can think of are the miles and miles.
My days are spent waiting
For her to roll back down that road.
She came into my life.
I helped her save her life
And then she left my life,
Back to the boy who caused the down in her life.
Is this sad or is this funny?
How much I love you, I mean.
How can I hurt for you
After all you have done to me?
I don't want anymore
But all I do is go back running.
I don't want anymore hurt
But all I do is wait for the truth
That I know is not coming.
How can I sit around and love
A girl that I cannot
Trust.

The moment I had feared
Has finally come and gone
And with it
You have gone
Out of my life
And that's what had me scared most

Now here I sit and wait
Eyes sit perched
On some later date
In the hopes that
You truly meant it,
That nothing could separate our fates

For one my concerns
Is that if for good
You've left and gone
Whether or not
My dying heart
Will return

You are my ******,
The ever-nagging drug addiction
That keeps tugging at my strings
No matter the rehab I have done upon my soul,
Regardless how bad I know you are for me -
But you were worse.

You could never be my Heroine,
The one who saves me from my worst,
To be the last, the only, by my side,
To hold my hand and be my strength when I fail,
Telling me, no matter what the stars say,
Everything is going to be fine -
But you could never be that.

You are my ******,
That which I will always desire
- no matter how long I have been clean of you -
But I now know its not the love affair I thought it once was,
I bear the emotional scars like needle marks,
Those I used to hide, I now wear open and honest, telling what you did,
And somehow,
You were always worse.

I look at you and the world sings,
But when I compose
All that comes are words words words.
If it were possible to write
A symphony
The likes of which the world has never seen,
And when you pass
May never be heard again,
I would.
It would flow out of my pen
As the blood in my veins
When I have mere thoughts of you.
A gushing torrent unable to be stemmed
Proclaiming you my best
Whirls around endlessly in my head
Only to stop its grand procession
If you decide to walk on by.
And with that moment
The stream of my body will tire,
Slow to a trudge, and then begin to sleep.
And my life will sleep,
Perchance to dream you back to me.

What's gone wrong with you?
You aren't talking to me.
What are you going through?
Do I matter anymore?
Or have you pushed me out the door?

I always felt our song to be
"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz
And I think you might have seen that
to be true
if you would have ever let me through

Instead you held me at arms length
When all I ever wanted
Was to be there for you
And for how hard I tried, I never knew
Why I wasn't meant to be with you

The apple of my eye
The star in my sky
How you have rotted away
How you have pushed me away
As you kept it all inside

Now that I'm done and through with you
I can step back and finally see
Just how bad you were for me
And how I treated you too well
Causing me untold pain and controversy

I can't believe you would bring him back to life
Expect me to stand on the sidelines for round two
All he will ever do is hurt you (and me too)

I want it so bad I can taste it,
So much that me teeth ache with it.
I see it each and everyday
And my mind keeps those thoughts on replay.
It's in my hands, they tremble and shake,
It's in my legs, standing on a land of earthquakes.

Life might hold some deeper meaning to you,
That there's a final use for all that school,
But this right here - the music - is it for me.
I can't see past it, there's no other way.
So though I love you, I must say,
Babe, all you do is get in the way,
Distracting and detracting from the final goal.

Something like that I just can't stand for, so
Please - because I asked - move.
You and I, its just not the same groove.
If it's meant to be, we'll get back someday,
But I can't put you through the rejection again.

When I'm following my path this way,
It hurts and breaks me beyond inside.
I feel my walls, my soul, being torn.
Believe my words when I tell you -
It's better this way -
When you've gone yours and I mine.

You'll move on to another who's better,
Someone who will give you what you deserve,
Because, for the time being at least,
I will assuredly give you less,
And God knows you were born for the best.

So, leave me please, but don't forget me.
I'll be back for you someday,
But at the moment, it's just better this way.

It was a moment of weakness.
Neither you nor I knew what to say.
Now as we stare towards the horizon,
This awkward silence settles in,
And we notice all of the tiny silhouettes
Of those previously unnoticed passing ships.
Anything to distract us from here and now,
To give us escape from this place.

You - like I - know how this ends,
But you, no more than I, know
How we will get from here to there
Without destroying all that we've ever known.

So everything hangs in the balance,
And it really all depends
On how well our dancing skills remain intact.
Let us hope that you've brought your shoes one last time
So we can have this last song and dance together.
Let us perform one final flawless show and
End this as professional to professional,
Because I will not shed a tear after you go.

All it counts down to a second -
A relapse in judgment, though no one's perfect -
It comes down to a mistake I hope to erase,
Shadows in time no more important than the rest,
And though I may not love you,
I wish you the best.

but be in love with you
letting me in was not the snare
that brought about what hurts me here
all I ever wanted was the truth
to be honest
with one and you
but you always seem
distracted away from me
be it another
guy or friend
another person place or end
I am always the last
to know
what you really need to show
just love me for me
and mean it
for I mean it to you
when I say I love you
I cant help...

If I were to have one thing -
One thing just for me -
I'd always be able to see your eyes,
To see the way you smile, anytime.

I'm an envious creature; not jealous.
I envy those lucky enough to experience
The pleasure afforded by your
Quick-fire, bistre gaze, and smile alike.

My sweet-tooth is ever sated by the syrup
Made from the sugar of your smile
And the warmth of your eyes.

I wish it could be that way, everyday.

If there were one thing I could have -
Just one thing for me -
I'd always be able to see those eyes
And that smile of yours,

                                           If it we up to me.

have to stand here
and watch as you leave me

being as good to you as
I can possibly be

and for reasons unknown to me
you treat me like something

that might not be
human or planetary

I try to understand for me
so I can be there for you

but it gets painfully tough
when you act like this girl

that I have never known
and run away to places

that make no sense
for you or me

please talk to me
and learn that I can be

everything you need
but we cant learn to see

without conversation
which to you might seem like confrontation

and that isnt what either of us want
so let me try

and give me a chance
thats all I ask

tell me what I can do
to help you move

in the right direction in life
because it isnt north

not that I see it that way
and I know you dont

so let me stay
and be in your life for a while

back to the way we had planned
even though all plans go awry

let me be
or let me be

I pushed you out,
And you let me out in the rain.
I took you back
And you pushed me out to sea.

Months later when I finally feel
That I've reached the shore
And have solid ground beneath my feet,
You knock me down,
Prove that is pure fantasy.
The invention of the siren song
Played to me in my revery.
I can see I'm still lost at sea.

I can never tell you how I feel.

I can never let you know
     That I meant every word I ever said,
          And that I'm still controlled by that in my head.

You turned away.
You let me out.
I have nowhere to go
And it still hurts inside.

It was wonderful to see you,
Even if I couldn't look at you.
It was a delight to be near you,
Even forced to ignore you as I was.
I do miss you, more than ever, more than even I know,
But it's something I must never tell you.
Never. I love you.
I hope I never see you again.

You're a beautiful existence
in a beautiful, brutal distance.

and I said

And you're a *****.

You shattered my existence.
Thank God for the distance.

You say you love me
But I'm not that sure.
I am all that you could hope for,
No, not ask for, hope for
- You can hope for more than you can ask for -
And still you go crawling back to him.

What is so wrong with me?
He only wants you when you're drunk.
He only wants you when you're ****** up.
I think you're beautiful every moment of every second of every day.
It can be helped.
I am a slave to visions of you.

And you, well you sit and laugh at me
With fake tears of forsaken love
Rolling down your cheeks,
The only purpose of which
Is to keep me engrossed with who you are.

And yet you are not who even you picture.
A simple angel, who has never taken a wrong step in her life.
Really a torture device employed upon me by myself.
The fact that you hold stronger and stronger
Every day that I hold you in my heart and mind,
Causing me pain, the likes of which
not even Helen of Troy could conjure in any soul.

Why do I have to put myself on the receiving end of this?
What do I think I can possibly get from this?
How could all of this end right?
It is still in the cards to decide,
Though they seem to be rather stacked against me,
And I don't even know if I can help myself,
Because pathetic does not even begin to describe me.

In short, I am a sad slob who can't hold a girl of my own.
I am a jealous fool who thinks he can win the girl.
I am nothing short of a loser who thinks he is a player.
And I am... nothing.
Nothing without you.

I'm up late,
                    once again,
With you,
                  the new girl,
Once more upon my mind.
I feel I'm lost,
                       I'm gone,
I can't seem to focus as
                                       I find myself gone to
              Those few fleeting moments with you.

Nothing is ever
                                   Perfect.
I know that for fact,
               And it doesn't ever really have to be,
Because,
          Its those Imperfections
that make it
                                       Genuine,
Every time
                    in my mind.
And that's all that I really need.

We do have our differences,
                                                We do,
And I do not deny that,
But even you said,
                                "We're all but the same person",
Its got to be some sort of building block,
                              Can we start from that?
Its the one thing I long to ask.

This forced separation from you is not half a week old
Though I feel the weight of it bearing down, suffocating my soul
At first I felt nothing and thought it an easy road to follow
But after that first day, that burden has dragged my soul in a downward spiral
If I an to survive this trying time apart
Without being driven twice times insane
I must find a fitting substitute for you
One well enough along to quench my thirst for you
However, as best you may hope,
Not well enough off to permanently quench you from mind heart and soul
If I could bring myself to go check and see
A doctor's perfect bill of health I would receive
But if Love had anything to say on the subject
I just might find myself en route to the Intensive Care Unit
For all I'm worth, and how you care for me
Please play it smart and right
And for us both, possibly pray to God
That your maker cuts time short, gives you a respite
If it would help settle your case
I would get down on my knees to plead clemency
For with it granted on you, same would be done for me

This white has been beautiful.
Sometimes so much so that I would say
I have never seen anything so pristine.
The way it drifts down from the sky,
Coasting lightly down to the already snow-covered ground.
It might land upon the branch of a tree
Or possibly on a nearly covered bush.
And the way it deadens sound,
How it eliminates all the extraneous,
Adds to the aura of perfection.

But I'm ready to go home.
I have had enough.
I'm ready for all of the smog, traffic, congestion and sound,
And I'm ready for my ***** sand beaches.
Those cold, dark waters provide
Stark Contrast
To those endless slopes of the purest white.

But I am ready to go home.
I'm ready to go back where I belong.
Home.

Those are the sounds of me
And baby
I want to be yours
Ive opened all my doors

Letting my music out
And it makes you shout
Against the cacophony
I love you, and do you me?

Don't look at this as a poem
Because it doesn't hold the depth or breadth
Of passion and emotion contained within a poem.
On the contrary, this is just a series of free-form thoughts
Scribbled onto a page.

To begin, I remember that first time
That I caught sight of you,
And you know as well as I
That it would be a lie if I said I wasn't taken.
But, I've always found that beauty isn't the jewel in the crown,
That it's what's found inside that brings happiness alive.

It all began that second time around,
Your first tower day, mine to be around you,
The first time that I got a breeze of who you are,
And you were a fresh gust of life, an amazing sight,
Even if my guess set you years too young.

As time has moved across this summer,
You've never ceased to inspire wonder in every way,
Watching the depth of your personality bloom the more I knew,
Bringing with it an increased maturity and age,
Changing the view and altering the light
In which I perceived you, this magnetic girl.

Bringing me to the "and now" part, as our days have wound down,
As you're being drawn along towards the door
That leads you out of town, city, and state,
I realize that I've only seen the summary
Compared to all there really is to see of you,
And I hate the thought of what I'm missing out on.

When all is really gone and said and done,
I barely know you.
I've spent hours with you in the tower
Guiding you towards new responsibility,
But that's not fully me or you.
Being tied to this mentor-mentee formality
Has slowed my feet in regards to you.

So as you go off to bigger and better things,
Remember, that if you ever want to get to know me,
That I'd very much enjoy the opportunity to know you better,
Possibly at some point when you come home this winter.

With all that said, know this,
That becoming friends with someone as smart and caring, as compassionate,
- not to mention goofy, silly, funny (read genuine) -
as you,
Is the greatest gift given this summer.

So with this fall, I wish you luck - the best of it,
Though I have my doubts that you'll need it
Seeing as how successful and able you've been
In every walk of life you've met yet.

             With all that,

                            Best Wishes,

                                                       ...

Incisive words dissect me,
Open me up for you to see
What was really inside.
You pried me apart still alive
Just to watch me squirm and writhe.

I could see it in the cast of your eyes.
You were obviously hurt by my actions, and
You wanted to see the exact moment when
That knife hit home inside,
To strike out at the one who has been
The source of all your woes.
A violent lashing out of a wounded soul,
One who is cornered with no way out.

You hit home. Yes, you hit your mark.
To some extent I did earn that barb.
But those exact words?
I think you went too far.

You say you've held back with me,
Well I've played that same game as well.
There have been times in our long, drawn-out history
Where I had some words to say,
Which I then tempered to remove
A large portion of the sting.
This time around,
You let me have it straight out, by and large.
You made me want to tell you out,
To return the favor, same for same.

But no, that will not be the way.
I'll keep it to myself and refrain
From loosing anymore inflammatory words
Into the air between you and I,
          Because I still do care.

My feelings have done anything but abate,
Merely changing, evolving to something else.
Because of this, I will hold back, as
Anything I might say in this second
Would be tainted with anger and spite, and
You and I need anything but that.

I love you.
Your words make it hard to believe
That they came from someone
Who I might care for.

I am Immature. I do not dispute hat.
I did not know how to handle
The situation in which we were placed.
I did not know what to do, so
I ignored you because I could not afford
To give in to these emotions towards you,
Especially when I am unexpectedly exposed
To you and then left in close proximity.

It would be all too easy to fall
Back to my original mentality towards you,
Held back as it already is with a failing veil.
          I love you.
I am just not in the right place
To give you fully everything you deserve.

So, in the Immature fashion of who I am,
I did the only thing I could
To prevent my exposure to my own emotions -
          I shut it out. I shut you out.

It was the worst route. I know that now.
It's clear to me. I heard it in the anguish in your strangled voice.
I panicked, and I did what I know.
I reverted to what's programmed in me.
I repressed everything. I ignored you.
          Because it kept me from feeling those words.

          I Love You.

I am sorry. It will never be enough.
You are the world to me.
I will never be enough. I will never be able to prove that.
I am nothing of what you deserve.
I deserved your every word.

What is so wrong with what I've got?
Why do I so badly want to go running back?
So she is holding up her walls.
So she hasn't given it up yet.
Does that even matter?
One of the most awesome girls I have ever met.
Only problem happens to be is
She is fighting another of that elite crowd,
And by virtue of the fact I haven't known
Her as long nor as intimately,
She is losing the battle.
Her smell lingers in my nose.
Her taste hangs on my taste buds.
Her touch makes my shiver caress the air.
I love them both boldly as God loves his children,
And yet I can love neither for not being able to decide.
Where does this sudden weakness stem from?
How come my resolve on this path
Has suddenly dissolved beneath me?
My life had seemed ready to settle out
And ready to settle in.
Now I'm not sure where to begin
Trying to sort out the chaos
That has been born again in my head.
Life and Love turned upside down.
My brain has been spun around
And I can't pick myself off the ground.
I can't believe what I've just done,
but what's done is gone.
Now lets deal with the consequences
As a man, not a boy,
And hope that my heart in
The process does not get destroyed.
Babe, I don't know if you could see this coming.
Baby, I wish you didn't seem like you're waiting.
Babe, what to us is becoming?
Baby, will you take me back in the end?
Babe, let's make our time count for something.
Baby, when does our time get starting?
I love you both dearly for the world,
But in all honesty, I don't know which
Is for me.
I do not want to waylay either of your journies,
But that is all I seem to be doing.
Can nothing come of something?
I know nothing will come of something here.
I'll miss you dearly.
I miss you clearly.
I want you near me.
I love you always.
Believe me.

From sun-up to sunset I find you in my head.
I sit and spin, thinking in circles -
None of which is of any benefit.

I long for your taste and I need your touch,
You in my life is a piece of luck.
I see your face burning in my vision,
I hear your voice singing in my ear,
I taste your body on my tongue,
But most of all I feel your grace upon my soul.

If I've ever needed a muse, it might be you.

My heart has gone
Right out of my chest
I can't help but feel
Down and depressed
It no longer beats
Beneath my left-side breast
But for all that's said and done
I know its for the best

My life seems over
My Love is gone
My heart is stabbed sober
Why do I seek to go on
Though I know the power of love
And we will prove just how strong

Self-centered, selfish poetry
Written in a royal purple.
It's time for me to think
About me.

I've spent so long living and doing
Every little last thing for
All those others and everyone else
But me.

I'd built my walls up tall but
I've beaten myself up and
I've broken myself down.
It's time for me to give me
Some "me" time.

Go, get away, leave it all behind.
It's time to go explore,
Time to go have an adventure.
Spend some time away
And when I get back maybe then
I'll be refreshed and ready
To face the world again.

Do you remember?
               Do you even remember me?
How can it be
               That thinking of you can hurt?
I've barely met you,
               I all but don't know you.
Why does my mind taunt me?
               Why do you haunt my thoughts and dreams?

My beloved stranger of a girl,
               Do you miss me at all?
The way I obviously have a need,
               Have developed an addiction for
                              Everything I saw in you?
Its become a pain inside,
               An ache I can barely hide.

You drive me to distraction,
               The catalyst to this chain reaction,
Not daring to think what might happen
               If I gave into this volatile passion.

Where do you go
                              When you're not on my mind?
And where do you go
                                     When I can't bear the though of being alone?
Where do you go
                              When the lights are gone?
And what have you done
                                           That I'm coming undone?

Days and days and months at a time go by and
I still feel how destroyed you left me inside.
Feeling that empty space and that missing, that lack,
It falls to reason that I see myself as all alone,
And my fears built up by you keep me from finding another.
Leaving that space open and obvious by my side
Each and every moment like this is a bad day.

But then I stop and think of everyone who is there for me.
In them I see my value and the love for me,
And though you broke nearly everything inside of me,
I am getting better, fixing my life, piece by piece,
And one day I will be whole again
In ways that you will never be.

So if I ever see you, I will be able to smile,
To know that you were the worst of me,
And that I made it past and have continued to grow -
That despite your best efforts I've left you in my past,
Where my only thoughts for you are of hope;
That one day you decide to get help,
That you shape your life up,
And that you find someone to take care of you
As you reciprocate their feelings.
And maybe one day you will see,
And begin to live like a human being.

Its that rightness as something missing clicks into place,
When a void in your life gets filled,
When its as simple as something being just "right".

That's how I feel when my eyes fall on you.
I see it and I feel it in your eyes,
And I know it from your smile,
They confirm that what I feel is right.

If you would decide to be,
To become a part of my life,
I know I could finally die,
That I could die happy tonight.
But that I'd really hope I wouldn't,
For I'd hope to have you in my life,
Hoping to spend all of my days,
And every last night I have on Earth
In and around you, my girl.

Know that forever and a day,
That my heart will be yours to keep.
In my thoughts you will stay,
You're the only girl I see.

I've booked my ticket like a Spring Break trip.
Cancun or Mazatlan, but this trip will be permanent -
An exciting prospect of new adventure,
Regret at what's to be left behind.

The date is circled upon the calendar
And does it ever race to hand.
My last grand adventure to plan,
To take part of before I hit the end.

There will be no more and
What once was will be lost.
I hear the sun shines there
But not in the traditional sense.

Say goodbye to the girls -
Tell them I love them -
And don't forget to pass word on to my brother.
Its sad I didn't get to see him again before I climbed aboard.

Worse things have happened and
I'll see him when he decides to visit.
No worries once he takes up permanent residence -
Sorry to ruin the great secret.

So, let's make the wheels turn
With the time that's left on the clock.
The sand in the hour glass is running short.
We've got time for one last game of Pictionary before I depart.

Let's act it up and act it out.
Let our actions resonate in screams and shouts.
So ket's do the best not to waste our time
As those last grains drop by and by.

Our actions speak as words,
And when all clocks finally stop,
Its towards the horizon that I will look,
Thinking of tomorrow as I board that box.

Just know that I will miss you so well.
Mom and Dad, even though I put you through hell,
All I wish is for you to be whole,
And even though I am off on my own,
Know that I leave behind my soul
So I will still be here even after I'm gone.

The soul has departed the body
The mind has gone from the eye
And I think it might be here today
That I choose to die

Life is so short
God, its so sweet
And to live it without you
Stops my feet in the street

Love is our guidance
Love is our savior
We lay our trust in it
And it will govern our behavior

Every moment parted from you
Is my heart sentenced to years of hard labor

Where does one begin to describe how you light their life?

One thousand and more intricacies to excite the mind,
Each infinitely more tantalizing than the last.
Quick to laugh with that smooth voice,
Faster to flash a smile across those desirable lips.
Beautiful, mysterious eyes casting warming glances:
All told, creates a face rival of legends.
Aphrodite and Venus both come up short,
Even Troy's Helen has no chance for supremacy,
And that is only the half,
A glorious sense of humor, wanting always to have fun,
Wit like lightning, ever ready sarcasm lying in wait,
Abundant intelligence to make any conversation engaging,
Brought together in this one unbelievable girl.

I didn't think it possible, but she lives and breathes the same as me.

Dearest Lovely,

Today is bright and sunny,
Full of sad sunshine.
Knowing that you aren't near,
The clouds
Frown,
And the birds sing
Some mournful song.
I see you up north
Having a wonderful time,
Meeting new people,
And an awesome new guy -
Which is just fine -
I've known all along
You weren't meant for me,
So I just wanted to say,
"I love you, my dear,
But for all that I've tried,
I can't trust you here
Nor there."
And with that said,
You go your way
And I'll go mine.
Goodbye

From

The Love of Your Life

A little tired, a little hungry
Ready to hit the gym
Angry at what they said
At odds with their words
An amazing poem it still is
Except from the view of a critic

Class is now over
Off to the gym I go
About to build some solid muscles
All for the ladies.

Life goes on. Lesson learned.
Patience is the key. Yet again, it gets the best of me.
I had you. I loved you.
Then I forced you away.
I should have held you close, kept you tight.
Instead, I tried to rush you through,
And let you out into the night.
It happened so fast, this reversal.
I'm still unsure what happened.
I lost you before I ever had you. Im still reeling.
Lesson learned. Life goes on.
I loved you. I live knowing
What I did to you,
And what you still do to me.

A sweet summer day
Come to meet me in winter,
A pleasant surprise
That I cherish and hold on to.

A golden ray of sunshine -
Mine to have and to hold -
Dropped right out of the sky
And into my heart, where you now have control.

A glorious sunrise and sunset swirled into one.
Bestowed upon me for reasons unknown.
The ornament of happiness,
Strong enough to me my soul glow.