Dragging on like the steps of a tired man,
Heading home after a long day at work.
The clock arms seem paralyzed in position.
Always the same when a full rotation,
And maybe more should be gone by.

A pit full of guilty criminals
Caught in a trap sprung by the law
Does not come close to doing justice
To the nervous tension clutching my stomach

I know what must be done
Once I am set free from my captor
- This enlightening prison of the state -
And hopefully I will not dawdle
Or have to be dragged by my ear.
No mother, I don't think that will be needed.

Like an infant, time crawls near.
Like a bull rider due to ride next, I grow more anxious.
But as a seasoned boxer, I will roll with the punches,
And in weathering the storm of emotions,
I can accomplish the task at hand.

How strange it it to awake
To the sounds of life
Streaming right by

It felt like a lifetime
Being held under your spell
And I can finally breathe again

I thought the colors more vivid with you
Each and everyday more special than before
Though the moments sped by unable to slow

And then I came to realize
What life with you was truly like
And what it did to me

As those days passed
The colors dimmed
But I didn't notice the change

And in those last days
I finally began to see
My color palate was only whites, blacks, and grays

So in that first breath
That I took in
The color came back to my skin

And then I said
Goodbye, but I didn't say
I hope you burn like the hell
of the life you really have.

I sit here trying to write about you,
Wishing I had the words for how you make me feel,
But those feelings are so tough to grasp, evasive and surreal.
I'm pulling at words to put on paper to find each cliche,
Down to each and every overused phrase,
And even the words I want to use to
Describe what I believe to be you
Are weak and without power, presence, and meaning.

The emotions I want to say are much of the same,
But its not about the beauty that most perceive -
I wish I had the ability to write about what I see inside,
That bright, shining glow that I see emanating from you
Whenever I glance in your direction,
Of your thoughts and your actions,
Of all the minor details of your personality.

The truth and honesty bared when I look into your eyes,
That unabashed inner strength that will never hide
Is awe-inspiring in its unfailingness,  each and everyday,
And I am filled with an unspoken pride
As I feel the pressure build in me forcing out a smile.
No resisting this urge that fills me,
Only wish that every being
Could be blessed as me to have one such as you in their life.

I feel that last warm trickle, and
I feel that last warm breeze.
Its crawls across my skin
And it runs through my veins.
The last of Summer kisses the land.
No more trips to be had
As we watch the colors fade,
My Winter is now at hand.

What was once sun-kissed burned
Has now gone cold,
And what once bloomed Summer foliage full
Is now Winter's fare skeletal.

Mother Mary comes, Mother Mary Springs in time,
But in Mother Mary comes time,
Because it's frosty Father Time
That allows Spring to blossom in her,
Time, Time and Time again,
Year in and year out, he is spent.

So as Spring comes, so do I,
Doing my best to beware of Father Time,
Watching the colors bloom to Summer's trip
With the bee's sting to inject sweet toxicity,
Freed from this state of mind again
Until I feel the next Summer Ending's breeze.

Why must you constantly torment my brain?
Peace, please.
If you must, might I have some refrain?
Restrain yourself and allow me a moment
Without the thoughts of you
Assailing my brain.

Do you even know what love is?
For you use that blade well,
twisting and driving,
pulling and wrenching,
and softly lulling me to sleep.
Or am I mistaken,
And sleep is to be the death of me?

The beautiful respite I so desire,
It won't be found in sleep.
I recently discovered that fact.
Why else am I driven to these ends, at 3 in the morning?

Death. Death.
Death.
You don't seem so friendly,
And as a cruel twist of fate
- For those hopeless enough to choose your cold embrace -
I foresee the attack on your soul,
Worsening to the point you rise again.

When the heart has picked its mate
And then in turn is denied its right,
Bottomless oceans do not nearly sink low enough
To equal these sagging emotions.

A downward spiral is too easy a *****.
A drop off a cliff,
A downward journey not for you to decide when it will end,
Where even rock bottom might slip out sending you falling again.

You get used to the oppressive darkness, after a while at least.
And if - by some cruel hand of Fate - you are down here long enough,
This darkness becomes enlightening.
A safe and steady home.

Happiness turns to your mortal enemy.
All things associated to it are banished from your being.
You wrap your death cloak tighter around, sinking lower.
Ironically, all told, this might be construed as making you happy.

Funny how even the best laid plans can backfire so quickly.
As you watch the bottom disappear from beneath,
Thoughts of death and worse creep to mind.
Memory of you slowly fades in time.

I've long since lost best how to express the best of me,
Never knowing the words needed to let you know how I feel.
I try to find the courage to give voice to emotion
and fail.
Nothing ever seems as it should be,
So each time I hesitate - I let you go,
Turning in the end to my pen in an effort to tap the flow.
Knowing that I am letting you go cuts deep and true,
But what is the right plan of action when I can't speak?

Maybe one day you will see these words and know the best of me,
Maybe one day I will confess what I've hidden inside,
And maybe one day I will be the man to face my fears
To learn whether you and I could ever be.

Believe me when I say
I will not, would not go
Though you should follow
If I leave this mire in the gloom
As sight becomes blurry
To the drone of this sorrowful dirge
We turn to follow the troop
Our form behooves this movement
The words spew from our mouth
Hollow though true, as if the buyer knew
Lacking fury in our mood
We wallow in the trove
To the tune of our own drum

patient and quiet
i hear the wind
                                                         and so it begins again
                                                         about you
i think to myself
how proud
                                                         that you are out on your own
                                                         living in this strange place called world
somewhere out there
high above is a shooting star
                                                         standing strong and alone
                                                         not a big girl, but a young, beautiful woman
i am transitioning
into greatness
                                                         that no one ever thought you'd be
                                                         with one exception - me.

Those are the sounds of me
And baby
I want to be yours
Ive opened all my doors

Letting my music out
And it makes you shout
Against the cacophony
I love you, and do you me?

I look at you and the world sings,
But when I compose
All that comes are words words words.
If it were possible to write
A symphony
The likes of which the world has never seen,
And when you pass
May never be heard again,
I would.
It would flow out of my pen
As the blood in my veins
When I have mere thoughts of you.
A gushing torrent unable to be stemmed
Proclaiming you my best
Whirls around endlessly in my head
Only to stop its grand procession
If you decide to walk on by.
And with that moment
The stream of my body will tire,
Slow to a trudge, and then begin to sleep.
And my life will sleep,
Perchance to dream you back to me.

Dear Girl,
          11 months gone
And you thought we could digress
Along that path
And return to that time
When we were just friends?
          All you did
And all you meant to me,
You destroyed with a few damning words,
But I had to go digging
To find the proof.
          Its better this way,
In the end, you know?
Now you can be a happy girl,
And I can try and recover
Whatever is left of these last 11 months.
          I want to recover
Whatever is left of my trust
Towards all the other people in this world,
Or are they all liars lying in wait
To spit deceit at the few
Of the good heart and mind,
The same way you spit
On my love for you?
          All I can ask
Of you and your twisted life
Is how you could say
"I Love You"
To me?
Wait.


Don't answer that,
I don't want to hear
Anymore lies.
No more words
From your mouth,
Because all they do
Is infect my life
With the poison of your
Blackened Soul.
          So you go your way,
And I'll go mine,
And maybe one day
- As it always does,
And you'll be the first to agree with me here -
Karma will come back to haunt
You
For your actions here.
          No regrets
And no reservations
On your part
- Girls never have them.

But I Do.
          I'm sorry I ever met you.
          I regret every moment I've wasted on you,
          To help you and build you,
          To try and steer you right,
          When here in the end,
          All you've done is wrong me.

Maybe that's too strong though,
As I have learned a valuable lesson
That I never would have
Without a ***** like you.

but be in love with you
letting me in was not the snare
that brought about what hurts me here
all I ever wanted was the truth
to be honest
with one and you
but you always seem
distracted away from me
be it another
guy or friend
another person place or end
I am always the last
to know
what you really need to show
just love me for me
and mean it
for I mean it to you
when I say I love you
I cant help...

When you find yourself burning to the ground,
Burning down, down, down,
You look around to see nothing but flames -
Flames and smoke thick enough to choke.
You've just got to believe that you'll make it through,
There's just no other way.
Otherwise you allow your demons to rise,
And the only thing those ***** devils ever do
Is cut and claw up your back,
Try to lay low your pride and soul.
So stand tall and stride ahead,
There's never a reason to check behind.
Steel your eyes against the smokey haze
And be strong against the towering flames.
If you keep your head low
And carefully breathe you won't choke.
If you stay true and believe with everything you've got,
You'll come out un-singed in the end.

The moon cycle has new found meaning in my life,
As well as the vile use of alcohol to cure my head.
It has been that long since I last laid eyes on you.
That night of lips in the dark.

Before I had used alcohol to facilitate interactions with women.
Now the Devil's drink is abused to ease those times from the mind.
The fire in my heart is fed like a fury in a dry forest.
Like sticks, thoughts of you stoke the flames to inferno.
A four year old tie shoes into less confusing knots
Than the tight *** you leave in my head -
To which only that detestable liquid
Has any soothing effects upon.
The knots loosen, but thoughts still race
Around the track of my mind with dizzying fervor.

The last time I saw the moon this way,
It was the most wonderful sight to meet my eyes.
This time, it makes me sick to my stomach,
Wondering whether I will ever see you again.?
Praying that is not all the progress I am bound to make
- or if I am destined to fall short,
to extract another piece of my cold heart -
Of which I will be reminded each time I glance at the moon.

You're a beautiful existence
in a beautiful, brutal distance.

and I said

And you're a *****.

You shattered my existence.
Thank God for the distance.

I miss you so much
Thinking about us
The distance between us makes
My heart crack and break
Not seeing your face
Or going to your place
It hurts everywhere
When I think of you not being here
My heart's gone cold
Wishing for the days of old
I hate that you had to leave
And all of this situation
I gave you my heart
And this is what's become of it
Now to try and live with this
I want your love back
Back in my life
For my heart is not full without it
I love you more
Than anyone ever before
And not having you near
Is nearly unbearable
I hope that you come back one day
And say how crazy things were
That you're ready for me
Because nothing feels right without you
I go out of my mind thinking about you
As I wait for that day
The one where you come home
As my stomach is filled
By a sickening hollow
With all that I've put up with
All because of you
I'm verging on saintly
And you haven't even taken a second
To realize how that is so true
And how much more can you put me through
Before I crack and burst
From all this "someday"
****** "someday"
"Someday" in the "near and clear future"
But to me, everyday is a "someday"
And there are only so many "someday"'s
That can pass before we run out of days
I can't wait forever.
As you told me
All those months ago
To "not waste your time"
Now I'm asking you
"Please don't wast mine"
I'll love you forever.
I'll like you for always
Those are my words.
And that's how I'm trying to be.
The circumstances aren't making it easy.
I'd just like to ask for some help, so
Love, would you help me?
Pretty please?
And a cherry on top.
Because being in love with you
Is something I never want to stop.

I pushed you out,
And you let me out in the rain.
I took you back
And you pushed me out to sea.

Months later when I finally feel
That I've reached the shore
And have solid ground beneath my feet,
You knock me down,
Prove that is pure fantasy.
The invention of the siren song
Played to me in my revery.
I can see I'm still lost at sea.

I can never tell you how I feel.

I can never let you know
     That I meant every word I ever said,
          And that I'm still controlled by that in my head.

You turned away.
You let me out.
I have nowhere to go
And it still hurts inside.

It was wonderful to see you,
Even if I couldn't look at you.
It was a delight to be near you,
Even forced to ignore you as I was.
I do miss you, more than ever, more than even I know,
But it's something I must never tell you.
Never. I love you.
I hope I never see you again.

I pour myself into you
Hoping to fill your emptiness up
But like a dry sponge
You're eating me up
This rate I can't keep up
Too soon I will run dry
And you will sit
As I wave goodbye

For all that I try
I can't deal with the pressure
Of being the one to support you
At some point you need to put
Your two feet back on the ground
Because as bad as it may seem
The world still goes round
No time to waste, to stand around

My soul to console yours
My mind to mind your ways
My heart to be broken for yours
My time to replace yours
To right the wrongs you felt you've been done
As I receive the wrongs from you
That previously were done unto you.
And I crumble under all of you.

Konfusion
Yes, I spelled it with a K
I like it
But that doesn't solve
How I should deal with it

The more we progress
The more silly games you seem to play
Kan it be
Spelled with a K, that I like it?
How then do I deal with this?

Everything she is
Kould it be
One spelled with a K
One that's not
I like, and I like it.

Torn by two
K it is
And K is not
Can it be I love
And Kan it be I'm not

I am distracted
Can't focus for too long
Without a break for a dream
About nearly anything
Except for school and my work

Sometimes I go
Back home and to the beach
Others I fly up to Oregon
Hanging out with my brother
Enjoying the cold being up Northern

I might even be sitting on the couch
Taking in the beauty of my house
Resting up my body for when I go out
Prepping to be ready for a bout of drinking
Or whatever sort of mischief I get in

After this moment of distance
I am forced back to reality
Sadly, I have to get back to working
Make letter prints
on a page, oh, I'm late, have to sprint!

What's gone wrong with you?
You aren't talking to me.
What are you going through?
Do I matter anymore?
Or have you pushed me out the door?

I always felt our song to be
"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz
And I think you might have seen that
to be true
if you would have ever let me through

Instead you held me at arms length
When all I ever wanted
Was to be there for you
And for how hard I tried, I never knew
Why I wasn't meant to be with you

The apple of my eye
The star in my sky
How you have rotted away
How you have pushed me away
As you kept it all inside

Now that I'm done and through with you
I can step back and finally see
Just how bad you were for me
And how I treated you too well
Causing me untold pain and controversy

I can't believe you would bring him back to life
Expect me to stand on the sidelines for round two
All he will ever do is hurt you (and me too)

Thoughts combine and dis-combine
My brain is all and none
My heart is all for one
And then the love breaks it
All for none
And I wish you had seen
Me all for one
And for all that I
Could have been
All that you and I
Could have been
I miss you
You face in the crowd

I don't want to be your friend,
I want to be your man.
You promise me "someday",
And I've listened up to this point,
But you don't want to be with me.
Not when, not how - Not now.

You say I didn't understand
Even when I try as best I can,
But when you don't want to talk
And tell me what's going on
- Do you know what? -
I don't want to understand,
I don't want to see life
Through the eyes of a liar.
I don't want to know life
Through the mind of a liar.
And most of all,
I don't want to live life
In a story of lies.

So to that effect,
This looks to be

My Goodbye

Feed the birds, tuppence a bag.
Or sit with them and enjoy their company,
And people will call you crazy.
Something is better than nothing though.
Somehow they're less flighty than you,
Those other creatures I pursue.

Strange.

They hoo and coo same as you
But I enjoy the lesser amount
Of squawking and discontent.

Why do you reappear now?
I thought I was done with you?
My heart was finally clear and clean.
You meant nothing to me.

The moment I saw your eyes again,
Everything came back.
My heart, my thoughts,
Everything I ever said,
I want you to know, I meant it.

My life has not been the same.
It will never be the same.
You were more special to me
Than you ever knew,
And more special than you will ever know.
You never will.

I will **** myself
With the effort to bury this deep inside,
Never to let these thoughts see the light of day.
You're happy with things as they lie.
Happy is what I desire for you.

I will survive this.

Open your mind and open your eyes
And maybe you will see what you are missing.

Expand you thoughts and watch
Your horizons stretch beyond thought to imagination,
Giving you access to everything you want.

But you could never encompass those thoughts
Because they weren't the typical, normal wants.

Open your door, opportunity is on the step.
Let it in and watch it ignite your world,
Burning away the drear and monotony,
And that's where you will find me.

Deep inside of this inferno transformation
There is no time for you to get complacent.
You're on the edge of your metamorphosis,
This evolution revolution waged inside.

Let it out into the air.

Find what you want,
Embrace that thought,
Think hard enough and I'll appear,
Showing you the lack of reason
To fear the instilled conformity.

Drilling deep to your core to clear
The debris and degrading thoughts,
Again and again to prevent you getting lost,
And in time you will see

Me.

I know you'll hold me strong tonight,
But in the morning light
As the sunlight grows,
You begin to lose your iridescent glow,
And into my past you start to flow.

And I know that you'll always love me
And I will surely always love you,
But as I'm sure you know,
To those distances the heart can't always go.
So in that light, I let you go.

I can't really talk to you again
Unless you decide to be part of the conversation,
Because if you enjoy the attention
But don't want to contribute anything,
I can't live in that sort of plan.

So, as I said,
I'm headed for the door.
You can head to wherever your legs explore,
And it will be that girl I knew in the past
That I will forever adore.

Tomorrow is too long
Tonight is monotony
Tomorrow night looks to be a place called Perfect
Or at least 'til it rolls on by
And when it does
Things will shake out
Events will come to pass
- Or they may not -
But either way
Tomorrow night will form my actions
And shape my being
For how far in the future who knows
And it all goes down tomorrow night
I'll be there
Will you

I have nothing left.
I never truly got past
How I felt,
My feelings for you.

My eyes so bright,
Excited by the light
At the sight
Of the one, of you.

I'm ok, I'm alright.
I know I'm not.
I hate you in the moment.
I still love you.

I live a lie.
I tell you a lie.
I'm done with you.
You are out of my life.

Yet seeing you again
Tells me I'm done.
The knife to my diaphragm.
I'm not over you.

So what do I do?
I ignore you as best I can.
I don't look at you
So you can't read my eyes,
So you can read my lies.

I have nothing for you.
You've moved on in ways I've proved
That I am well and truly incapable of.

My body aches and my body hurts
With the sorrow that I cover
To never let you see
The wounds I carry deep inside of me.

Back on our last day
You drove a shard deep in my core,
A fragment that I never could remove.
I can't let you see
That you still control me.

I'm lost.
My mind is gone.
Theres nothing here for me.
I am nothing to you.

I hate you.
So infinitely with everything that is me.
And I love you.
Uncontrollably, devastatingly.
I never want to be happy.
There's nothing left to believe.

Please, just go away.
I want it no more.
Please, leave me be.
You've paid me back and more,
I am ravaged to the core.
There's nothing left of me.
You've left nothing to me.

I burn brightly in the silence
Of the fires of my own making.

I am in class again, and like the good student I am,
The paper comes out and I begin to write.
Let's write those notes, write that response question,
Remember that fact, jot down that caption.
But no, that's not the use I make of my paper.

Instead, I write about that girl to the right,
My neighbor's neighbor, she's the new flavor.

The drone goes on from that lady in the front.
I sit in the back and try to block out
All that will move my thoughts from her.

Not the wisest use of time, but its the one I prefer.
I have to use it wisely and see her when I can,
Because when the weekend comes, for days on end,
Out of my life she's gone, and all I've got is written in poem.

Self-centered, selfish poetry
Written in a royal purple.
It's time for me to think
About me.

I've spent so long living and doing
Every little last thing for
All those others and everyone else
But me.

I'd built my walls up tall but
I've beaten myself up and
I've broken myself down.
It's time for me to give me
Some "me" time.

Go, get away, leave it all behind.
It's time to go explore,
Time to go have an adventure.
Spend some time away
And when I get back maybe then
I'll be refreshed and ready
To face the world again.

I hung up the phone
I sat down and cried
My baby was gone
And I didn't get to say goodbye

I know its not forever
Some day in the future
We'll be together
Where we will once again
Kiss and hug each other
And say
Now that wasn't so hard
With love we made it easy

And with that month not passed together
Forever will come too soon
For I would stay with you
Until after ever
Had gone and come again

Well I woke up in a car
- Those are the lyrics to the song -
And I find myself in that same car,
Racing towards the 91.
We go up a rise and I look over;
The mountains in the distance,
See the fog in the breeze,
The zoo, the fountains, the houses it seems...
Its the city, seeing it through the trees.

Somewhere out there,
Somewhere in the haze,
Is you.
Somewhere in space,
The only place,
Is You.

Well I woke up in a car,
Or at least that's the way it seems to me.
Life through these new eyes
Shines so brightly on me,
Except when it comes to you.
I can't quite find

The words to express my thoughts.
How I adore you.
I am taken by inaction
As I lift my hands
And focus on the fingers.
I watch you slip through
As I write these words for you.

You say you love me
But I'm not that sure.
I am all that you could hope for,
No, not ask for, hope for
- You can hope for more than you can ask for -
And still you go crawling back to him.

What is so wrong with me?
He only wants you when you're drunk.
He only wants you when you're ****** up.
I think you're beautiful every moment of every second of every day.
It can be helped.
I am a slave to visions of you.

And you, well you sit and laugh at me
With fake tears of forsaken love
Rolling down your cheeks,
The only purpose of which
Is to keep me engrossed with who you are.

And yet you are not who even you picture.
A simple angel, who has never taken a wrong step in her life.
Really a torture device employed upon me by myself.
The fact that you hold stronger and stronger
Every day that I hold you in my heart and mind,
Causing me pain, the likes of which
not even Helen of Troy could conjure in any soul.

Why do I have to put myself on the receiving end of this?
What do I think I can possibly get from this?
How could all of this end right?
It is still in the cards to decide,
Though they seem to be rather stacked against me,
And I don't even know if I can help myself,
Because pathetic does not even begin to describe me.

In short, I am a sad slob who can't hold a girl of my own.
I am a jealous fool who thinks he can win the girl.
I am nothing short of a loser who thinks he is a player.
And I am... nothing.
Nothing without you.

Make the most of the time you've got girl,
for before you know it
Life will have passed you by.
There you will stand,
Having lost even the chance to wave goodbye
To those days you knew as your prime.

Days sweep endlessly by
And the wind sweeps the trees.
The rain drips on down
Until the sky lets up,
Until the clouds bow out
Leaving a bright night sky.

So take your chance, take it now.
Make your stand, make it proud.
Love life, live strong, never hesitate,
The best and worst will be gone
By the time you move again.

Take your chances when they come
And bow out with your sun,
Leaving with a setting that puts all in awe.
Make the most of life girl
Before you've left it wasted and gone.

We're beginning down that road, take two.
We had a start, so it's not that new.
Our game is the same, and so is the goal.
Personnel and personality, in time we will see,
In the end its inevitably
Our sound to which we are bound.

But here's to the new.
Here's to seeing what we can do,
So let's give it a shot, and we'll sure **** give it heel.
We set out to claim our fortune.
Let's see what fate has to spell.

All of the words I can say don't mean anything to you,
And all of the words I can write are illegible to you.
All that I see is how I am lost to you.
Maybe what I write and say combined into song
Can make you see just what you mean to me.

My darling little bug baby,
Why can't you just see
That you are beyond everything
And the stars above to me?

Thoughts of you don't leave me free.
All of my words are falling uselessly.
All of my lines are brushing off of you meaninglessly.
All I can hope is that my song can impart upon you
Everything that
I can ever hope that
You learn,
And you see,
And that I wish you knew about me, because
Without that,
And without those,
I don't think you'd ever see
That you're everything to me
In the world,
And my life,
And my time on this earth.
The globe
In my sky,
Above my mind,
In my eyes,
It's all I can see,
I can hear,
I can taste.
It's you in my face,
In my thoughts,
It's around you that I'm wrought.
I'm distraught.
It's by you who
I've been taught.
No other thoughts
Cross my mind
As I pine
Over you.

I miss you
And everything you do

The words are not strong enough
To define just what my feelings of
Love and Adoration for you
Cause me to feel when you're gone

Though its only been one whole day
Its far too long
For you to be away
From me and all of my love for you

I've sat here at home
And I've gone out with friends
But when in the end
All I feel is alone

Nothing fills that gap
No one at all
Not until you get back
Will my mind, heart, and soul
Finally be whole
                                 again

we pick up the conversation as it goes
as we listen in, it follows

and I love you

through everything we've been through




and she says "i dont know where i would be without you"




thats not the important part

what matters is where we are

and where we can go

anywhere is possible

the sky isnt even the limit

the moon and beyond




and she says "the moon is pretty far out there

i wouldnt want to go alone"




if you wanted to go

Id do everything to help you

Id go with you if you asked

and if I felt you wanted me to go

but could not find the words

I would follow you

catch you when you fall

be to you all

that I can give

because what is life to live

without love?

little did he know
the dangers in her coy words

I'm tired of all your *******.
I'm sick of all this ****.
I just want to be done with all of it.
Why, for you, do I deal with it?

I want to go.
I really want to be gone.
I want this all to blow away.
Can't we do it all my way?

I've heard his name exchanged before.
His linked name makes you a *****.
Just for that baby girl,
I'm heading for the door.

What started as a worthless meeting,
Has started to pull on heart strings.
My heart strings.

If you're going to treat it this way,
dear little baby,
I must get out before
You steal my heart away.

Take it serious.
Take it for real.
Because if I am seen as frivolous,
I can't deal with the loss.

She was in my dreams again,
Her face there around every corner I went.
No matter how I tried to escape,
There she was each and every time,
In each and every place.

Regardless to how far I am removed
From that brief bit of time with her,
I find my old feelings
Rising unwanted to the surface,
A sickness I am unable to hold back.

I just avoided her in dream,
And now I am fleeing the scene,
Only to find her standing right in my way
As these scenarios and symptoms repeat,
Heave, heave, and heave again.

Dearest Lovely,

Today is bright and sunny,
Full of sad sunshine.
Knowing that you aren't near,
The clouds
Frown,
And the birds sing
Some mournful song.
I see you up north
Having a wonderful time,
Meeting new people,
And an awesome new guy -
Which is just fine -
I've known all along
You weren't meant for me,
So I just wanted to say,
"I love you, my dear,
But for all that I've tried,
I can't trust you here
Nor there."
And with that said,
You go your way
And I'll go mine.
Goodbye

From

The Love of Your Life

Where is this Muse, this Lady Love,
Who insists that we need more time?

But how much more time can I really spend
Sitting around and waiting by her side as life
Goes right on by as I bide the seconds of mine?

What more can she ask for that I haven't given?

What more could she ask for that I wouldn't give?

The more I see her, the more disaster it becomes.
It's become time for me to get past her,
Time to leave her gone and away,
Time for me to live in the Love and Laughter -
To get away from this torture and pain.

The time's come for my turn at love,
And time's gone by for living this lie.

My life is complete.
My life is ripped to shreds.
I can breath again,
As the noose tightens.
I am rich with a ****** existence.
I am a beggar with a blessed existence.
I have you in my life,
And I have you back in my life.
Take the good,
with the bad.
Or you have nothing at all.

I've always written poetry
To drain the emotions,
To learn what secrets my soul is hiding.
I've written to see how I am truly feeling,
And to find those ghosts
Buried deep inside of me.

And I always feel the need to sing
Because its the purest form of speaking.
Its the combination of phrasing,
Its the pacing,
Its just how lyrically
You can build the intensity,
Which gives an interpretation to my words
That goes deeper than meaning.

I've always written poetry
Because to simply write a sentence
Grates on my economy of space,
As I state too little with words too much.
The impact,
The punch
The angst,
The anger,
My happy and sad,
All get lost in the punctuation of the paragraph

And I've always felt the need to sing
Because my lungs burn otherwise,
As I am restrained as I contain
All of the intensity that rides behind my song.
If I speak it out
It takes too long
For you to hear
What needs to be sung.

Hey! what's your name?
Hey! what's your world?
Do you have the time for a guy like me?
Would you mind for a time letting me in your world?

I sat for a whole semester, locked in love with another girl,
All the while I sat and looked at you.
Pain and more from her wrought in me,
That I could have cast aside and tried for you.

But now at the second chance come round,
That vulnerability left inside from time gone by,
Is keeping my feet rooted down,
Keeping my voice from taking sound.

I voice now question,
State no compliment.
My hear is still being rent by the girl gone by,
And in my inaction, you are soon to join that crowd.

I seek to act and break her spell.
In time we will tell, how I fared.

A word is only a word,
Though how much hangs on a word?
The power a word holds,
Is truly nothing,
And it encompasses everything.
Letters strung together.
Meanings given to a sound.
Letters symbolized by a sound.
Everything is made up, make-believe.
And everything hangs on that reality.

Its that rightness as something missing clicks into place,
When a void in your life gets filled,
When its as simple as something being just "right".

That's how I feel when my eyes fall on you.
I see it and I feel it in your eyes,
And I know it from your smile,
They confirm that what I feel is right.

If you would decide to be,
To become a part of my life,
I know I could finally die,
That I could die happy tonight.
But that I'd really hope I wouldn't,
For I'd hope to have you in my life,
Hoping to spend all of my days,
And every last night I have on Earth
In and around you, my girl.

Know that forever and a day,
That my heart will be yours to keep.
In my thoughts you will stay,
You're the only girl I see.

Be silent.
Be still.
Quit your incessant rocketing.
Be free
Go your way.
Lie down, let my head rest.
Be gone.
I want you no more.
My chest is rent and empty.
My head is a stampede of everything that is nothing.
I can't stand it.
I don't want it.
I want it so much I can't have it.
Leave me be.
You have taken so much from me.
It is time for me to have it back.
To be whole again,
As I thought I was with you.
Away with you now.
I mean for you to be gone.
Wipe my soul clean,
and start again free.