I've always written poetry
To drain the emotions,
To learn what secrets my soul is hiding.
I've written to see how I am truly feeling,
And to find those ghosts
Buried deep inside of me.

And I always feel the need to sing
Because its the purest form of speaking.
Its the combination of phrasing,
Its the pacing,
Its just how lyrically
You can build the intensity,
Which gives an interpretation to my words
That goes deeper than meaning.

I've always written poetry
Because to simply write a sentence
Grates on my economy of space,
As I state too little with words too much.
The impact,
The punch
The angst,
The anger,
My happy and sad,
All get lost in the punctuation of the paragraph

And I've always felt the need to sing
Because my lungs burn otherwise,
As I am restrained as I contain
All of the intensity that rides behind my song.
If I speak it out
It takes too long
For you to hear
What needs to be sung.

I look at you and see your wedding day.
I hold your hand and know you always.
The look in your eyes tells me you feel the same.
The warmth of your body and smile brighten my life,
So I squeeze your hand a little tighter.
I glance back from our fingers to your face and life seems right.
This is how its supposed to be.

I don't want to be your friend,
I want to be your man.
You promise me "someday",
And I've listened up to this point,
But you don't want to be with me.
Not when, not how - Not now.

You say I didn't understand
Even when I try as best I can,
But when you don't want to talk
And tell me what's going on
- Do you know what? -
I don't want to understand,
I don't want to see life
Through the eyes of a liar.
I don't want to know life
Through the mind of a liar.
And most of all,
I don't want to live life
In a story of lies.

So to that effect,
This looks to be

My Goodbye

Be silent.
Be still.
Quit your incessant rocketing.
Be free
Go your way.
Lie down, let my head rest.
Be gone.
I want you no more.
My chest is rent and empty.
My head is a stampede of everything that is nothing.
I can't stand it.
I don't want it.
I want it so much I can't have it.
Leave me be.
You have taken so much from me.
It is time for me to have it back.
To be whole again,
As I thought I was with you.
Away with you now.
I mean for you to be gone.
Wipe my soul clean,
and start again free.

Dearest Lovely,

Today is bright and sunny,
Full of sad sunshine.
Knowing that you aren't near,
The clouds
Frown,
And the birds sing
Some mournful song.
I see you up north
Having a wonderful time,
Meeting new people,
And an awesome new guy -
Which is just fine -
I've known all along
You weren't meant for me,
So I just wanted to say,
"I love you, my dear,
But for all that I've tried,
I can't trust you here
Nor there."
And with that said,
You go your way
And I'll go mine.
Goodbye

From

The Love of Your Life

I went down to the crossroads
Now we will see if I change
That's only the second time I've been
And the first time went up in flames
Just like the last trip
Things seem alright
I had a great evening
I enjoyed it to the last

I came back from the crossroads
All empty and cold deep inside
Longing for my next ride down
It might not even be anything yet
But I already feel those miles pulling
Exaggerating that figment of loss

I look at the crossroads
Wishing to go back very soon
I hope I can visit tomorrow
Though even that is a wait too long
I must go back
That's my one undying dream
A need, and urge - that urge - grabs at me

Last time I felt like this
I didn't go back to the 'roads
For some odd reason
I just let it go
Something I still regret to this day
From the time I went down the the crossroads

The last time I got to see you,
And the last time I got to hold you, dear,
Neither of us could have predicted
The sour mess the future held in store.

Burnt up like life cut short.
Only a feeble, sick exhaustion left
After that inebriated interplay on the phone.
Though I had left, now I was gone.

The fault is mine,
And the love is gone,
But please remember me
From the times we held near.

Days and days and months at a time go by and
I still feel how destroyed you left me inside.
Feeling that empty space and that missing, that lack,
It falls to reason that I see myself as all alone,
And my fears built up by you keep me from finding another.
Leaving that space open and obvious by my side
Each and every moment like this is a bad day.

But then I stop and think of everyone who is there for me.
In them I see my value and the love for me,
And though you broke nearly everything inside of me,
I am getting better, fixing my life, piece by piece,
And one day I will be whole again
In ways that you will never be.

So if I ever see you, I will be able to smile,
To know that you were the worst of me,
And that I made it past and have continued to grow -
That despite your best efforts I've left you in my past,
Where my only thoughts for you are of hope;
That one day you decide to get help,
That you shape your life up,
And that you find someone to take care of you
As you reciprocate their feelings.
And maybe one day you will see,
And begin to live like a human being.

Hey there, Young One,
You've got me upside down.
I look around
To find that all has changed,
And that how it used to be
Is all gone and blown away.

I look over your way
And you blush and hide your eyes.
That's just fine
If you're shy.

I look over your way
To see the way I look upon your face,
And you look back my way
As I smile and wave, touched by your grace.

My heart has been tied to yours
So tightly it wouldn't budge if I wanted it to.
I'm tugged this way and that in your wake
As I hop, skip, and jump and dance with you
Across the obstacles of everyday,
Praying that I'm suited to your tastes.

A sweet summer day
Come to meet me in winter,
A pleasant surprise
That I cherish and hold on to.

A golden ray of sunshine -
Mine to have and to hold -
Dropped right out of the sky
And into my heart, where you now have control.

A glorious sunrise and sunset swirled into one.
Bestowed upon me for reasons unknown.
The ornament of happiness,
Strong enough to me my soul glow.

Its that rightness as something missing clicks into place,
When a void in your life gets filled,
When its as simple as something being just "right".

That's how I feel when my eyes fall on you.
I see it and I feel it in your eyes,
And I know it from your smile,
They confirm that what I feel is right.

If you would decide to be,
To become a part of my life,
I know I could finally die,
That I could die happy tonight.
But that I'd really hope I wouldn't,
For I'd hope to have you in my life,
Hoping to spend all of my days,
And every last night I have on Earth
In and around you, my girl.

Know that forever and a day,
That my heart will be yours to keep.
In my thoughts you will stay,
You're the only girl I see.

Let me just say that
Thank god I'm over you
Because this just in
the list of exploits you did do
is only getting longer
minute by minute and
hour by hour
actions speak louder than words
they say take a photo it will last longer
but its so much more entertaining
when we've got video coverage
so that I can kick back and watch
as your whole life falls apart
I can just sit back and laugh
And realize that my life ain't so bad
That I really should go and thank you
For going and leaving me
Because otherwise I would be
Strapped tight to your sinking ship
And just another line in your silly poem
But since you did cut me free
I now have front row seats to the show
I don't know about Karma being a *****
But I sure know you were
Being away from you has proven to me that
God isn't it good to be free
God life is great to me

The girl over there
Four desks away
Such pretty short hair
So tall with beauty
Would it be fair
If she noticed me?

Ain't life good to me?
Don't you just wish
You could be me?
I've got a summer job.
I've got parents to support me.
I've got all the toys.
The bells and
Not to mention the whistles.
I know you just
Want to be me.
I live in that
Nice neighborhood.
I went to that
Prestigious high school.
I am in college
On my way to graduation.
My life
Is so much better than yours.
How could you not
Want to be me?
I know that's all
You want to be.
But you don't want
To be me.
You couldn't be
More happy
Just the way
You are.
You don't think
About me.
Or even you.
You are too happy
Being in love.
Which is something
That I can really
Only Envy.
What do you have
That I can't have
This same beauty
In my life?
Look, this is my pony.
But all I want
Is that little whistle
That makes you so
Happy.

No, no you don't.
Read my poetry and you will see
That I do,
But that can never be again -
Thanks to you.
You have broken me in every way
I knew it could be.
We, we can never be,
But we never were, either.
You were too busy, wrapped up
In your own self-centered world
To see what we
Could be,
Could have been,
And what we will never be.

So no, no you aren't.
No, no you don't.

I, I miss you.
Because I, I really loved you.
And now I don't know why I ever wanted to be with
You.
I'm left wondering why I tried
So hard, and for so long,
On something you let go
Because you needed some ****.

Once upon a time
It wasn't so long ago
I was sad
I was a wreck
I was a mess I confess
Love had me lost
And I had lost my way
Until the day My life stumbled across you
And I very nearly walked on by
But something made you stick
Made me decide to pull back
And into my life you came
And that's where I want you to stay

I won't be cliche
It wasn't love at first sight
But you've grown on me
In my arms you fit so tight
My lips to yours
God it feels so right
Come away with me
And I confess my love tonight

When I see you
I want to breathe you
I want to be everything and more with you
You're the best in me
Can I be the best in you
And you're the reason why
I see the beauty in every day

what you do to me

and what you make me feel

shows it plain to me

I dont want to live a day without you

for a day without you

is a day without rain

a day without shine

a day without food

and a day without water

a day without you

is not really a day at all

for a day without love

isnt worth living at all

The birds and the bees
Are all fine and dandy to me
But when I'm dying over you
Why can't you just see
When I say I love you
It means everything to me

The pain in me
From everything I see
And everything I hear
To me it seems
That your time with me
Is drawing near
The end

All of your words
And all of those phrases
That you murmured and moaned
Into my ear as our bodies
Were well drawn near
Look to be coming to none

One day in the future
Now appears
That is all it will ever be
And that you will never
Want to be only with

Don't try to change me,
Don't try to sway me,
Because this is who I am,
And if you do love this,
Then cool your heels or
You might have to move on
And onto the next version.

Let me be who I am,
Let me live what makes me happy,
And you can join and be,
You can be the best of me.

Or you can fight and scratch it,
Battle it with every tooth and nail,
And when its all boiled down,
You're left as a footnote,
As a line in a song.

You decide which you want:
That white picket fence,
The house with a two-car garage
(read: a bitter husband
living a life he doesn't love
because he followed the wife
he truly does),

Or do you want to be
With me as a man so happy
As he lives dollar to dollar,
One that couldn't be happier
Living a life full of love?

So live with me, or please do not,
Because if you try to change me,
I'll never be what you want.

Heaven above, my love
my heart, my world.
My love for you
and its strength for you
has power beyond words
that will never let go.
It will not shrivel and be gone
when the paper has devolved
back to its roots
when time out of mind
has worn it down to none.

The insanity
that seizes me
is fertilized by your past actions
and incubated in my head,
growing and growing
'til it can no longer be contained.
Then I burst out as crazy
to vent all my mind
to build anew
in that space left vacant.

As I feel by turns spurned
and then jealousy in return,
on and off that keeps
the wheels of this evil complex
moving.
That jealous want
to be with you
and to be all to you,
causes my downfall in your eyes.

And I am left with love
as I try to continue to be good
to you and your needs
at such a distance.
I love you
- it feels as my only function -
and its all I ever want to do.

Words, words, words,
That's all they be,
And words, words, words,
That's all they see,
But those words, words, words,
Combined with the voice within me
Means so much more than you can see.

I speak and call to you
And everything comes from me,
But hard as I try to reach you,
I can't help as I'm falling free,
Spinning, diving, out of control.
The world divides around me
And I am left drowning.

Please God, oh please,
Don't desert on me.

The soul has departed the body
The mind has gone from the eye
And I think it might be here today
That I choose to die

Life is so short
God, its so sweet
And to live it without you
Stops my feet in the street

Love is our guidance
Love is our savior
We lay our trust in it
And it will govern our behavior

Every moment parted from you
Is my heart sentenced to years of hard labor

I'm singing my heart out tonight,
And I'm writing out the poetry of my life.
Nothing else to me seems so pure,
And not a minute of anything other is worth my time,
Because with my voice and my words,
I believe that my message to you is said most clear.

So with those words I hear,
My voice begins to take to the sky,
And I leave you behind.
I have no need, no want to wave goodbye
To you my girl, who used to be my girl,
Because as you asked me all of those months ago not to,
It'd be a waste of my time.
And now, I begin to fight all of those lies,
And I've finally ripped free of all of those ties -
Ripped out all of your spines - free
From my body,
Free from my soul,
And most importantly, free
From my mind,
As I'm so high off of the ground,
Reveling in the perfect sound
Of being so free of the tourniquet that was you.
And I'm out of my mind
- So many thousands of feet off of the ground -
Away from your life,
And away from the sound.
There's so many feet  between me and
You, that tried to plant me firm in the ground.
I just thank God for everyday
The He's kept you away from me.

I've met you twice,
It feels like I've been waiting my whole life.
I never knew what it was before,
But I now realize that I'm starved.
My life is empty of you,
Of you and your presence,
I hunger for your voice, your actions.

Now that I know, I can think of nothing else.
Its there in my sight, so obviously right.
How did I ever miss it before?
Its about time I let you know.

His name.
I saw it coming.
And I made myself believe otherwise.

What could I expect?
When you let you best do it.
And finally I see through it.

His name.
I saw it on the line.
And I took the time to read between them.

How fake was that story?
You held it up and sold it.
Only after I bought it did I truly see it.

His name.
Emblazoned on hindsight.
I won't be able to sleep tonight.

Why does the mind race?
The heart has to do with it.
I wish I was over and done with it.

Good night to good tomorrow.
Stand up straight and bend in sorrow.
When the villain becomes the hero.
Say goodbye to a good tomorrow.

Baby sleep tight.
Believe in a better tomorrow.
The hero of tonight
And the villain of tomorrow.

Love with all your might.
Even if might is not right.
Might for right is a beacon of light,
For which all should follow.

I it isn't this,
Then it's that.
And if it isn't that,
Then what?

Love leads us all in odd directions.
The best you can do is enjoy the journey.

I feel them, smell them,
The winds of change are blowing.

The tide, the sea air,
They reverse their course and are flowing.

Things between us are growing, changing, evolving,
For better or worse is not yet for our knowing.

In time we will see
Whether you were ever truly in love with me.

have to stand here
and watch as you leave me

being as good to you as
I can possibly be

and for reasons unknown to me
you treat me like something

that might not be
human or planetary

I try to understand for me
so I can be there for you

but it gets painfully tough
when you act like this girl

that I have never known
and run away to places

that make no sense
for you or me

please talk to me
and learn that I can be

everything you need
but we cant learn to see

without conversation
which to you might seem like confrontation

and that isnt what either of us want
so let me try

and give me a chance
thats all I ask

tell me what I can do
to help you move

in the right direction in life
because it isnt north

not that I see it that way
and I know you dont

so let me stay
and be in your life for a while

back to the way we had planned
even though all plans go awry

let me be
or let me be

I've got to write the poetry
Because it expresses the best of me
... and the worst...
And every emotion in between.

I'm compelled to sing
Because it allows me to say,
In such a way,
All that I've ever wanted to say
So that you can't help but understand their meaning
-
Despite your feigned ignorance,
And the way that you ignore me,
And every ******* word I've said.
-
When I sing these words I've written for you,
You'll be listening so intently
You'd think your ears might bleed
As you are deafened by my lips' whispering.
Goodbye

I'm taking time out
To sit and simply lie down,
Back on the ground watching clouds
Whisper by,
Heads held high
Thinking and wondering aloud -
If you miss me at all?

Little Elf-like creature
You wandered into my life
Right out of a dream
Enchanting me
Like the race you resemble
Cast your spell
And bite with your Sting
Capturing my eye
Whether you want to or not
Now do with it
What you want to
Or not

Holding in this
Ocean that are my emotions -
Without you my shore
To crash and break upon,
To loose this passion,
And to satisfy my yearning
For you my Love -

Is the tide
Not being able to rise
And fall,
As my hips to yours -
Our breathing in sync
With that within yours and my breast,
Hot and fast -
And I am spent
As I break at last.

So here it is
Here it is finally
Someone not trying to **** me over
That confirms you ******.
****** me over.
I can't believe that I loved nor cared
For you and your pathetic existence.
Good die
Have fun in the next ******* life

This could be
One of the hardest choices
Of my life,
But I have to make you see
That I want to Be
With you,
But that is not a Need.
This is a decision
And not a Necessity
To have you in my life.

So on that note,
I begin to step away.
Your actions speaking with force
In opposition
To all the words your voice has spoken.
I'm tired and overdrawn
Trying to be your one.
Goodbye to you,
My love,
My baby,
And maybe one day you will see
That you want to be with me.

I cannot detach
These circumstance that ****
From that which I feel
Towards you who I love

Despite what you do
And how I feel
How you treat me
I cannot make the obvious cut

A simple small incision
Between you and my life
Surgically separating
The breath from my life

But never fear
For I can hold my breath
Long enough
To catch another somewhere out there

Everything
Its what I am to you
You say that I am your balance
You say that I keep you steady
My girl
I am everything you want
Except I'm not an ******* to you
You're down
And I'm down with you
Picking up the pieces
You're up
And the only thing soaring higher
Is me
But for some reason
There's always a reason
That you can't commit fully
To me
And I'm beginning to see
That I will never be
Good enough for you

Can I believe what you say?
Do I dare trust your words again?
The nearly healed wound,
wrenched open again by one so near.
The mind spins,
The stomach turns,
And though I believe the best thing to do is run,
My heart tells me to return.

Why can't I break away?
Do I try and tempt the pain?
I was nearly a whole person,
and you broke me up.
The pieces fall,
And escape beckons, And though I believe the best thing to do is run,
My hear tells me to return

Are you truly that powerful, or is my heart that stupid?

The grass is so green
Right here where we walk
And the sky above is the blue
About which only we can talk
The playful hills roll
And the dipping valleys sprawl
The long trees in the wind blow
And the birds in the air call
Here in this blanket we lay as lovers
And we do it all
Someday in the future we will look back
And think how foolish and reckless we were

I'm up late,
                    once again,
With you,
                  the new girl,
Once more upon my mind.
I feel I'm lost,
                       I'm gone,
I can't seem to focus as
                                       I find myself gone to
              Those few fleeting moments with you.

Nothing is ever
                                   Perfect.
I know that for fact,
               And it doesn't ever really have to be,
Because,
          Its those Imperfections
that make it
                                       Genuine,
Every time
                    in my mind.
And that's all that I really need.

We do have our differences,
                                                We do,
And I do not deny that,
But even you said,
                                "We're all but the same person",
Its got to be some sort of building block,
                              Can we start from that?
Its the one thing I long to ask.

I can't help but feel the power of music
As it pulls my soul between me and you
Its poetry being pure as can be
And its singing that means so much to me
Either or and there's no other way
That can express the depths of me
The meanings that try and come from me
Encompassed within me
But all that you have done
Has come out and killed me
And here I am left singing of you
Singing my heart where I know all is kept true
And I see through all the lies
You spread through my mind and life

To sing is what truly sets me free
And the write poetry makes me me
Without either I wouldn't tell you
Precisely what I think of how you've hurt me.

I thought I saw you as a friend
But that seems a point you contend
I never thought it'd come to this
But it seems like something you won't miss
I'll try one more time
And then to my past you will be consigned
You don't want anything to do with me
So I won't try and salvage friendship for you

Look at me
And try and understand
That I'm not just saying googbye,
I can't ******* stand you.

Get out of my life.
Get out.
And I don't even care if you say goodbye.
Just go.
Get away from me.

The lies and falsities
**** me, every time,
In a way you know
But never see.

I hate you.
I hate your hypocrisy.
Everything,
Down to the way you
                                            ****** Me.

who is this woman
and why is she speaking
slightly increasing my knowledge
but really giving names to the subconsciously known
she talks of things already used in my poems
all these stuffed inside my head
and all I have to do is go in
grab them for use by my pen

Another step, another second,
And we go on with the show.
A chance, an opportunity,
And we strike off down the road,
Never turning back, never looking back.
These are the choices,
There's no room for regret,
Only looking onward, only looking up.
It's got to be, it's the only way to the top.
To be the best, I have to never stop.

We are right on the verge,
We are on the cusp,
The dividing line between
What is you and I,
And what is us.
Our omnipotent energy,
Guided by power divine,
Stays our hand
As we are rolling
And preparing for some
Rocking of our own.
A devilish brew
Some few can handle,
And when we are done,
It's a new genre
Made up from our heart
And what is soulful.

I feel wheels moving
In my brain,
Spinning and rolling,
Never gaining traction
To put thoughts to paper.
Tension is static block
Of frantic attempts at thought.
I try
To no avail.
I can't get moving, no forward motion,
Drawing on emotion and experience,
Yet the page remains empty.

Hold on closely and
               Don't let go
You need to love deeply
               Even if at times
                    You spiral out of control
If you get hurt
               That's better than never
                    Having ever loved at all
If you slip
               I'll be there to catch
                    you when you fall
Don't worry about me
               It wasn't my time
A few days late
               A few dollars short
Life goes on though
               And you've got to make it
                    Everything you can
Have the time
               You've only got one life
Live for the moment
               The memories last forever
                                                                                Regrets live longer
Don't think of me
               Don't
                           shed
                                      a
                                            tear
I'll see you through it all
               and don't you fear
          When                                       all                                      seems lost
               With the world mounting against you
I'll be there
               to help you up
                    to share a smile
                         and set you right
For your ears alone
          This is my promise
          And this is my pledge
Now come into my arms
Where you feel
                    Just Right
So that I can be your protection
Against the night

I am done, **** it.
I've been here before, and
I am back down that road now.
Let me say my piece
and go live in my Hell.
Take my piece
and wear it well.
Your time will come.

My heart has gone
Right out of my chest
I can't help but feel
Down and depressed
It no longer beats
Beneath my left-side breast
But for all that's said and done
I know its for the best

My life seems over
My Love is gone
My heart is stabbed sober
Why do I seek to go on
Though I know the power of love
And we will prove just how strong