The Girl who owns my Heart
You are Busy with a new Start
Adjusting to life
And the new times
But now and again
You just seem distracted
As the clock strikes 11 and again 11
I call your name
To which no reply comes
My eyes pry for you
But no matter how I spy for you
No image of you is near
And it begins to ring clear
That I will never be
Free of you
Who I love with
Everything I am and
Ever will be
You are my life
And you are my good times
Who I one day hope
Will even share with me
Those of the bad
Which might come our way
That is the love
And before was the melancholy
But that's how it happens to go
When you are away from me
Life gets put on hold
And it passes so slow, devastatingly
Live your life
And be who you are meant to be
And promise me
That you won't let me
Get in the way of all your
Big Dreams

Honey, my pretty little girl,
My Heart. My World. My Soul.
For all we have been through
I can't help but be in love with you.
I am honored to know that you value me so much,
And that just by being me
Can have such an impact on you.
As tough as it will be having to be away from you
For as long as it takes up north,
I know it will do amazing things for you
And for who you are to become.
Indeed, all it will do is make us stronger
As I feel the longing pull at me
More and more with each second
You are away.
I miss ever little facet
Of your being.
Being away from you
Only makes me value you
That much more.
You are my happiness,
And no one brings it out in me
Nearly the way you do.
You are my world and
Every intricacy in it.
In short,
You are my life.
Dearest little girl,
I love you
With every fiber of
This beautiful mind
Beautiful heart
And beautiful soul I have been blessed to possess.

This little seahorse necklace
Missing Penelope
Is the symbol of my subservient existence
In your absence
My dearest little baby

Off my neck you will not see
A second, a moment, A Wrinkle In Time
As my pledge to you
Of an undying love
And thoughts towards better days

This is the best possible thing
That could have ever happened for you.
I know that it is
And I've managed to convince myself too.
To get away from me
To live a stress-free life
Is a God send, a gift
The lead in the parade.
On the sides I will sit
And clap for you on your way.
This is it
Your moment, your ticket.
Life is a bronco
Don't let it be you that takes the kick.
I know you're strong
You'll need it for the journey long.
This next adventure
To make you into what you are.
But when you come back some day
Please don't have forgotten me along the way.

The moment I had feared
Has finally come and gone
And with it
You have gone
Out of my life
And that's what had me scared most

Now here I sit and wait
Eyes sit perched
On some later date
In the hopes that
You truly meant it,
That nothing could separate our fates

For one my concerns
Is that if for good
You've left and gone
Whether or not
My dying heart
Will return

I hung up the phone
I sat down and cried
My baby was gone
And I didn't get to say goodbye

I know its not forever
Some day in the future
We'll be together
Where we will once again
Kiss and hug each other
And say
Now that wasn't so hard
With love we made it easy

And with that month not passed together
Forever will come too soon
For I would stay with you
Until after ever
Had gone and come again

The soul has departed the body
The mind has gone from the eye
And I think it might be here today
That I choose to die

Life is so short
God, its so sweet
And to live it without you
Stops my feet in the street

Love is our guidance
Love is our savior
We lay our trust in it
And it will govern our behavior

Every moment parted from you
Is my heart sentenced to years of hard labor

My heart has gone
Right out of my chest
I can't help but feel
Down and depressed
It no longer beats
Beneath my left-side breast
But for all that's said and done
I know its for the best

My life seems over
My Love is gone
My heart is stabbed sober
Why do I seek to go on
Though I know the power of love
And we will prove just how strong

despite it all
and the truth I try to repel
I am still stuck under your spell

I love you
Each and every day
Like you were my life blood
I wish to set free

But that isn't me
As I try to keep you near to me

I love you
Heart and soul
Mind and all
Focused on you
without a break
and no escape

I'm yours until I decide to die
And I hope that one day
You can be mine

bzzz bzzz goes the cell phone
               ****
it reads
My reply

Shush, we're not talking
about you. Movie n wine
at home later? Maybe
jacuzzi?

bzzz
               Mmm ill call u love. Im
               tired and cant be out late.
               I have work 8am to 7pm :\
wow, ain't that lame
to which I say

:-\ ok

a few minutes later on
and I text again

I love you. Im sorry for
being sulky. I just miss
you and really just want
to see you.

there it goes again
               I miss you too i love you
               so effing much

:-( only 2 days but its felt
like an eternity

               Agreed
and then poetry
gets the better of me

My love. You leave me an
empty vessel when you
are away. A ship without
sails. The sun without a
sky.

Her reply comes
               Hunny :)
followed up quick
               Im going to make this an
               early night
Ouch that hurts
Caught me off guard
Do I be sad?
Or do I be smooth?

I cant even talk you into a
quick yogurt session? Ill
drive. Just there and back.

my phone rattles back
               Im grumpy tired and
               waking up early lovebaby
shoot quick

And I can put you to bed
w a smile on your face :)

               Be a little more specific
               :)
oh god
and here comes the barage

A back rub, a massage. A
head rub, a hug. A kiss, a
squeeze. Lets just say
that this lil finger went to
market.
And as Ive said, I just
want to see my baby. So I
apologize if Im being
pushy. Ive missed you
more that ever this last
day.

               Hehe lovebaby *** youre
               adorable

Adorable enough to get
you to agree to a quick
trip to yogurt or
something? Pretty please
w a cherry on top?

               Youre.sweet and tempting
               like.a cherry :) lovebaby
               lets watch the snow fall
               one day

Well then have a lil taste
of the cherry. It promises
to have you home by
11:45 :-)

               Gah golly u make this
               hard
And here it goes
full blown
oh god
oh no

Say yes and it wont be
hard. Say yes and know
you made me the
happiest boy ever. Say
yes and know you get to see
your love. Say yes and
know that my eyes will
twinkle like your own
personal stars tonite. I
miss you :-(

               Jack. I love you
One more desperation push

I love you too baby.
What have you got to
lose? And Im sorry Im
hassling you. I really
really miss you.

and then the minutes drag on
a few and then ten
maybe a few more and

Im sorry, Ill stop. I hope
you have a good nite.
Sleep well love. I miss
you.

and then
there it is
               I love you

I love you too baby. Im
sorry for being crazy.

and time stretches on
the beats grow long
and in reply*
               Ill call u whn im home

Just thought that you should know
That I'm done playing your games.
Done splitting my time with you
with Him.
I'm so tired of all you have to tell me.
Yeah, I'll call you when I get home.
Only for you to never get home.
And I sit here alone.
Wondering what's going on.
If you don't want to be with me,
Just Tell Me.
Of course it will hurt,
But not as much as living the lie
That day to day in my life goes by.
So here's to you lovebug.
In honor of all we've been through.
The good times and the bad.
Cheers to you babyboo.
And as the title goes...

I miss you
And everything you do

The words are not strong enough
To define just what my feelings of
Love and Adoration for you
Cause me to feel when you're gone

Though its only been one whole day
Its far too long
For you to be away
From me and all of my love for you

I've sat here at home
And I've gone out with friends
But when in the end
All I feel is alone

Nothing fills that gap
No one at all
Not until you get back
Will my mind, heart, and soul
Finally be whole
                                 again

what you do to me

and what you make me feel

shows it plain to me

I dont want to live a day without you

for a day without you

is a day without rain

a day without shine

a day without food

and a day without water

a day without you

is not really a day at all

for a day without love

isnt worth living at all

What you've done to me
Could be described as a catastrophe
And what I've done to you
Makes me feel sickly

And when I think on how things sound
And how they've finally started towards right
They can't help but turn around
And run as if in a fear driven flight

I've done and continue to do all I can do
To be there for you
I've made my feelings lie
Until all I've got again is pain inside

Maybe someday I hope you'll see
What exactly you've done to me

dont hurt for me as
I have hurt for you
thats like someone else
exacting revenge for me
that I did not want to
put upon you

the future is bright
and in time
we can make these blemishes fade
though they will still remain
with the shine off our present
things can and will be
better than we've ever known
hiding what you and I
have done to We

Ive taken a deep breath
And a few steps back.
Ive taken a good look at myself
And want to revive
And revitalize
All that I am to you.

Born again might be the term
Used to describe all that Ive been
Through.

I want to be with you
Oh so bad.
I want to be your happy
And he who rids you of your sad.

I want that to be me.

Ive said all that I can say
That isnt repetitive
I dont know what you want of me
If its to leave your life in peace
And quiet, Ill quit
Id just like to hear
It, so I know Im not mistook

And if its to stay, then let me stay
And if its just as a friend
Then please let me know
Because breaking my heart
Against the rock of your walls
And the defenses you have built
Makes it hurt twice as much

As being told to rid your heart-felt

Those are the sounds of me
And baby
I want to be yours
Ive opened all my doors

Letting my music out
And it makes you shout
Against the cacophony
I love you, and do you me?

I
Just might be a ******
Konstantine, you are what I want
Love is burning in
Me for you
Nowhere is it going but to you
Only for you
Please
Quit dragging around
Release and
Slow down
Tell me you love me

And
Believe that I
Cant help but be sorry
Doing all that I do
Even when you dont want any of it
Forget me if you will
Go away and I will disappear
High and away, making your life clean and clear

have to stand here
and watch as you leave me

being as good to you as
I can possibly be

and for reasons unknown to me
you treat me like something

that might not be
human or planetary

I try to understand for me
so I can be there for you

but it gets painfully tough
when you act like this girl

that I have never known
and run away to places

that make no sense
for you or me

please talk to me
and learn that I can be

everything you need
but we cant learn to see

without conversation
which to you might seem like confrontation

and that isnt what either of us want
so let me try

and give me a chance
thats all I ask

tell me what I can do
to help you move

in the right direction in life
because it isnt north

not that I see it that way
and I know you dont

so let me stay
and be in your life for a while

back to the way we had planned
even though all plans go awry

let me be
or let me be

I can't help how I feel
I can't help what you create in me
You make the best in me
Come out and shine for you
And though you may say you've never done anything
Its everything that you do
That makes me love you
Want to be with you
Sit and stare at the sun
And watch it go down
Til it comes up again
On us two
Baby, its you
And thats all I know
You are the happiness in my life

talk to me baby boo
thats what you need to do
I cant help but be hurt
when secrecy is what you call overt

talk to me and respect me
as a real human being
for thats how you solve and resolve
problems between the ones you love

I just want to know the truth
and then I wont hurt anymore
even if its not what I want to hear
thats a part of life

if its that youre going north
or getting back with him
let me in
and I wont be quite so abrasive

what is the truth between me and you
because I want to know
but my questions is
do you?

but be in love with you
letting me in was not the snare
that brought about what hurts me here
all I ever wanted was the truth
to be honest
with one and you
but you always seem
distracted away from me
be it another
guy or friend
another person place or end
I am always the last
to know
what you really need to show
just love me for me
and mean it
for I mean it to you
when I say I love you
I cant help...

Everything
Its what I am to you
You say that I am your balance
You say that I keep you steady
My girl
I am everything you want
Except I'm not an ******* to you
You're down
And I'm down with you
Picking up the pieces
You're up
And the only thing soaring higher
Is me
But for some reason
There's always a reason
That you can't commit fully
To me
And I'm beginning to see
That I will never be
Good enough for you

It has happened
quite uncommon.
I've fallen
All too hard.
I slipped
Then fell.
Then jumped into the deep blue ocean.
I do my best to keep you from being taken,
Your best at heart,
I am there
To save you from sinking.
Every time.
For you.
Its me.
I am sacrificing.

Thoughts combine and dis-combine
My brain is all and none
My heart is all for one
And then the love breaks it
All for none
And I wish you had seen
Me all for one
And for all that I
Could have been
All that you and I
Could have been
I miss you
You face in the crowd

Beautiful brown eyes
The kind you fall into
The ones you get lost in
And realize you never want to escape from

Those dark lashes
Pulling you in
Luring closer to the eyes
Until nothing else exists

Eyes crowned by
Jet brows
Exquisite curve here
Complimentary arch there

Light, but deceivingly dark
Your skin's warm glow
Freckles
Abound.

Down an elegant nose
Dividing perfect from perfection

And here is that smile
That brightens my day
Effortlessly
Two beautiful rows
Beaming white sunshine
Back into my world

Inbetween
A subtle pink dart
That playful tongue

Silk
Soft
Lips
Slicked in Blistex

All framed
In ***** blond hair
I love it tousled.

All that I can think of are the miles and miles.
My days are spent waiting
For her to roll back down that road.
She came into my life.
I helped her save her life
And then she left my life,
Back to the boy who caused the down in her life.
Is this sad or is this funny?
How much I love you, I mean.
How can I hurt for you
After all you have done to me?
I don't want anymore
But all I do is go back running.
I don't want anymore hurt
But all I do is wait for the truth
That I know is not coming.
How can I sit around and love
A girl that I cannot
Trust.

What is so wrong with what I've got?
Why do I so badly want to go running back?
So she is holding up her walls.
So she hasn't given it up yet.
Does that even matter?
One of the most awesome girls I have ever met.
Only problem happens to be is
She is fighting another of that elite crowd,
And by virtue of the fact I haven't known
Her as long nor as intimately,
She is losing the battle.
Her smell lingers in my nose.
Her taste hangs on my taste buds.
Her touch makes my shiver caress the air.
I love them both boldly as God loves his children,
And yet I can love neither for not being able to decide.
Where does this sudden weakness stem from?
How come my resolve on this path
Has suddenly dissolved beneath me?
My life had seemed ready to settle out
And ready to settle in.
Now I'm not sure where to begin
Trying to sort out the chaos
That has been born again in my head.
Life and Love turned upside down.
My brain has been spun around
And I can't pick myself off the ground.
I can't believe what I've just done,
but what's done is gone.
Now lets deal with the consequences
As a man, not a boy,
And hope that my heart in
The process does not get destroyed.
Babe, I don't know if you could see this coming.
Baby, I wish you didn't seem like you're waiting.
Babe, what to us is becoming?
Baby, will you take me back in the end?
Babe, let's make our time count for something.
Baby, when does our time get starting?
I love you both dearly for the world,
But in all honesty, I don't know which
Is for me.
I do not want to waylay either of your journies,
But that is all I seem to be doing.
Can nothing come of something?
I know nothing will come of something here.
I'll miss you dearly.
I miss you clearly.
I want you near me.
I love you always.
Believe me.

I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
Those are the words
And that's how I'll be

My heart shall remain yours
In your hands I am free
No matter the circumstances
My love for you is the standard of purity

I love you with my mind and my heart
You are the fuel of my soul
The light of my day
The promise of sun in my night of life

When things chance to go bad
The thought of you makes it all right
I go on today
For the memories of tomorrow

I can honestly say I'd do anything for you
I can honestly say that you fit me right
And if you love me too
I'll make it through the night

Though you may not be ready
I come as I am
Its all or nothing
So this barrage you'll have to withstand

My letters of love
My CD's of hope
The numerous pictures I draw
It can be hard to cope

I dream of stealing you away
But that's not what you want
So with the world I will share you
And give my thoughts and tongue the chomp

If I can have you just a little
I can survive for today
And tomorrow a bit more
I might find a way to continue on

And maybe someday in the future
When a girlfriend you are ready
I'll be so strongly attentive
All you need do is tell me

But for the time being
All that I will ask of thee
Is for a few special moments of time
And your love for me

a

lonely figure still at work
toiling on 'til its no longer late
slaving away tirelessly
desk ridden past required hours
to finish what must be done
for the days to come

I thought I was long over you
And any thoughts of you and I
Were so far passed by
Until I saw your face
Framed in a photograph
And all my pretenses were shattered
The old Love, the old longing
Came running back
To strike vengeance on my start

Now my life is reeling
And I don't know what to believe
The fine line between fact
And all of my fiction
Has been removed, repealed
Plunging me back down
Into what appeared long lost
Still stuck foundering
Is found again

And I know what you said before
That once lost cannot be bound
Again, And yet for all the world
I see there still is what you once saw
And with time and a little effort
Could renew, make and mend
Bring back to life that full fire
Hearts once rent
Shall be seen whole again

I pour myself into you
Hoping to fill your emptiness up
But like a dry sponge
You're eating me up
This rate I can't keep up
Too soon I will run dry
And you will sit
As I wave goodbye

For all that I try
I can't deal with the pressure
Of being the one to support you
At some point you need to put
Your two feet back on the ground
Because as bad as it may seem
The world still goes round
No time to waste, to stand around

My soul to console yours
My mind to mind your ways
My heart to be broken for yours
My time to replace yours
To right the wrongs you felt you've been done
As I receive the wrongs from you
That previously were done unto you.
And I crumble under all of you.

Once upon a time
It wasn't so long ago
I was sad
I was a wreck
I was a mess I confess
Love had me lost
And I had lost my way
Until the day My life stumbled across you
And I very nearly walked on by
But something made you stick
Made me decide to pull back
And into my life you came
And that's where I want you to stay

I won't be cliche
It wasn't love at first sight
But you've grown on me
In my arms you fit so tight
My lips to yours
God it feels so right
Come away with me
And I confess my love tonight

When I see you
I want to breathe you
I want to be everything and more with you
You're the best in me
Can I be the best in you
And you're the reason why
I see the beauty in every day

What's gone wrong with you?
You aren't talking to me.
What are you going through?
Do I matter anymore?
Or have you pushed me out the door?

I always felt our song to be
"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz
And I think you might have seen that
to be true
if you would have ever let me through

Instead you held me at arms length
When all I ever wanted
Was to be there for you
And for how hard I tried, I never knew
Why I wasn't meant to be with you

The apple of my eye
The star in my sky
How you have rotted away
How you have pushed me away
As you kept it all inside

Now that I'm done and through with you
I can step back and finally see
Just how bad you were for me
And how I treated you too well
Causing me untold pain and controversy

I can't believe you would bring him back to life
Expect me to stand on the sidelines for round two
All he will ever do is hurt you (and me too)

Waiting
For only the brightest of days
His return to dry her cheek
In this surreality did they meet

The whisper of a tear went dry, no eyelid shudder
He thought if anyone else knew this love he might die
One breath caught and then another
Reality rubbed at his shoulder
Temptation was unbelievably believable

Star-crossed you could call it
A fateful phrase not oft spoken
Youths lie, cheat, and steal for this token
Destined for love with bounds unbroken

She falls and is caught in his arms
His decision, Never do her harm
If only her could do better
Her body, light as a feather
He knew
She knows

The whisper of a tear gone dry, no eyelid shudder
He thought if anyone else knew this love he might die
One breath caught and then another
Reality brushed at his shoulder
Temptation was unbelievably believable

So choose and lose yourself wisely
Her eyes gave him no semblance of choice
Ever deeper assured their answer
Causing neither price nor sacrifice
Because their secret was worth keeping
Locked behind the eyes of the girl

The whisper of a tear gone dry, no eyelid shudder
He thought if anyone else knew this love he might die
One breath caught and the another
Reality pulled at his shoulder
Temptation was unbelievably believable

So unbelievably believable

I am done, **** it.
I've been here before, and
I am back down that road now.
Let me say my piece
and go live in my Hell.
Take my piece
and wear it well.
Your time will come.

You say you love me
But I'm not that sure.
I am all that you could hope for,
No, not ask for, hope for
- You can hope for more than you can ask for -
And still you go crawling back to him.

What is so wrong with me?
He only wants you when you're drunk.
He only wants you when you're ****** up.
I think you're beautiful every moment of every second of every day.
It can be helped.
I am a slave to visions of you.

And you, well you sit and laugh at me
With fake tears of forsaken love
Rolling down your cheeks,
The only purpose of which
Is to keep me engrossed with who you are.

And yet you are not who even you picture.
A simple angel, who has never taken a wrong step in her life.
Really a torture device employed upon me by myself.
The fact that you hold stronger and stronger
Every day that I hold you in my heart and mind,
Causing me pain, the likes of which
not even Helen of Troy could conjure in any soul.

Why do I have to put myself on the receiving end of this?
What do I think I can possibly get from this?
How could all of this end right?
It is still in the cards to decide,
Though they seem to be rather stacked against me,
And I don't even know if I can help myself,
Because pathetic does not even begin to describe me.

In short, I am a sad slob who can't hold a girl of my own.
I am a jealous fool who thinks he can win the girl.
I am nothing short of a loser who thinks he is a player.
And I am... nothing.
Nothing without you.

Believe me when I say
I will not, would not go
Though you should follow
If I leave this mire in the gloom
As sight becomes blurry
To the drone of this sorrowful dirge
We turn to follow the troop
Our form behooves this movement
The words spew from our mouth
Hollow though true, as if the buyer knew
Lacking fury in our mood
We wallow in the trove
To the tune of our own drum

Tomorrow is too long
Tonight is monotony
Tomorrow night looks to be a place called Perfect
Or at least 'til it rolls on by
And when it does
Things will shake out
Events will come to pass
- Or they may not -
But either way
Tomorrow night will form my actions
And shape my being
For how far in the future who knows
And it all goes down tomorrow night
I'll be there
Will you

Insecurity,
It's what drives my world around.
Insecurity is writing a poem about a girl
Who you thought was meant to be, then
Turn around and find out
She thought you were meant to be a joke.
Insecurity is the twisting in the depths of my stomach,
Wondering whether you are mine
Or if chasing clouds would be a better use of my time?

Can't you just love me for me?
Love me for my bad jokes,
Love me for my sloppy clothing,
Love me for the slob lifestyle I live?
And for always having a shoulder to cry on,
Two ears ready to listen to your problems,
And an insatiable urge to see the bright side of even the worst problems?
To get you smiling and back on your feet.

And when times are at their worst -
And things look to only get worse -
I will be there with a smile,
Just glad to have you near me,
Because that's all that really matters
To me.

I look at you and the world sings,
But when I compose
All that comes are words words words.
If it were possible to write
A symphony
The likes of which the world has never seen,
And when you pass
May never be heard again,
I would.
It would flow out of my pen
As the blood in my veins
When I have mere thoughts of you.
A gushing torrent unable to be stemmed
Proclaiming you my best
Whirls around endlessly in my head
Only to stop its grand procession
If you decide to walk on by.
And with that moment
The stream of my body will tire,
Slow to a trudge, and then begin to sleep.
And my life will sleep,
Perchance to dream you back to me.

How do you tell a 19 year old boy that he is in Love?
More importantly, how does he tell himself?
At this point in life, that admonition is more life self-incrimination,
Than the natural steps for a smitten heart.

For so long the lone wold has roamed the range,
And now that one has been found that feels the same,
The instinct to go run and hide away
Must be corralled and eliminated from the brain,
With proper manners, class, and tact instilled in its place.

Though he feels so strongly, and always sees her face,
And with thoughts of her never far from reach
- Hovering on the edge of consciousness for easy access -
The ripping sound is his being being torn apart, heart and mind at odds with each other.
This self-perpetuating war in those maturing from boys into men,
These internal struggles time and again testing their carriers' mental fortitude.

Eventually will he just give up?
Or does he tend to fold and give in to the strain?
Could he possibly soldier on, keeping shredded thoughts to himself?
I sure would like to get a hint if you know,
T'would save me a lot of trouble, time, pain, and sorrow.

I find it almost funny
How hard it is to make the right decision.
You can have convinced yourself
That you are going to do the wrong thing and yet,
When time finally comes to act,
As you set your feet to march off in the wrong direction,
An unending stream pulls against you towards what's right
And the more effort and want you put into resisting the flow,
Only turns the stream into a roaring river,
Irresistible as it throws you at the right choice.

Though by far the funniest part about the whole thing is:
Once you give in and just go with the flow,
Making that right decision in the end
Turns out to be the best by days and years,
And this opinion is only made stronger
Due to how hard your subconscious mind body and soul
Opposed your initial decision to make the other choice,
And by the dividends you are being paid
Now that you went through with what is proper.

When I thought this class would never get better
You     glanced yourself into my life.
Minutes in, and the monotony had already begun to wear,
The clock arms paralyzed with my stare.

The Charlie Brown speeches coming from the front,
This created confusion,
Dissipates when I see you look my way.
And for that brief moment,
Everything in life seems all right.

Then it's back to the grating of class,
The drone of the drone at the head of the mass,
- At least for the time being -
Until I chance another glance in your direction,
Or you unknowingly glance in mine.

When the heart has picked its mate
And then in turn is denied its right,
Bottomless oceans do not nearly sink low enough
To equal these sagging emotions.

A downward spiral is too easy a *****.
A drop off a cliff,
A downward journey not for you to decide when it will end,
Where even rock bottom might slip out sending you falling again.

You get used to the oppressive darkness, after a while at least.
And if - by some cruel hand of Fate - you are down here long enough,
This darkness becomes enlightening.
A safe and steady home.

Happiness turns to your mortal enemy.
All things associated to it are banished from your being.
You wrap your death cloak tighter around, sinking lower.
Ironically, all told, this might be construed as making you happy.

Funny how even the best laid plans can backfire so quickly.
As you watch the bottom disappear from beneath,
Thoughts of death and worse creep to mind.
Memory of you slowly fades in time.

The moon cycle has new found meaning in my life,
As well as the vile use of alcohol to cure my head.
It has been that long since I last laid eyes on you.
That night of lips in the dark.

Before I had used alcohol to facilitate interactions with women.
Now the Devil's drink is abused to ease those times from the mind.
The fire in my heart is fed like a fury in a dry forest.
Like sticks, thoughts of you stoke the flames to inferno.
A four year old tie shoes into less confusing knots
Than the tight *** you leave in my head -
To which only that detestable liquid
Has any soothing effects upon.
The knots loosen, but thoughts still race
Around the track of my mind with dizzying fervor.

The last time I saw the moon this way,
It was the most wonderful sight to meet my eyes.
This time, it makes me sick to my stomach,
Wondering whether I will ever see you again.?
Praying that is not all the progress I am bound to make
- or if I am destined to fall short,
to extract another piece of my cold heart -
Of which I will be reminded each time I glance at the moon.

How long has it been?
A month, six weeks, longer than that?
For the record, let me tell you,
It has not felt half that time,
And yet... it has been years and more.

Generically, distance makes the heart grow fonder,
Which is true enough for me, though,
In that retched state, it leaves me
Also very prone to look and wander.

If my brain were a tree,
You would be its mistletoe;
Making me think of you often and always, and,
Despite my best efforts,
I have been unable to make you budge.

I might consider you a disease on my mind
(But as of this moment in time),
I couldn't care less when you jump into my thoughts
For it always brings memories of:
Your happy face,
Your smiling voice,
Kisses in the dark.

Now that things are truly on the level -
That what I think of you,
And likewise, you of me -
Is clear in the open,
Swaying in the steady breeze of change,
Raised to the sky by the connection of lips,
Has drawn you ever more often
Into the train of my thoughts.

As if that was necessary,
Considering that before all of this
Not a beat of my heart
Passed without you on my mind.

The distance between us
That previously caused me grief and longing,
Now conjures a quiet and melancholy behavior
From one normally more rambunctious
Than the most playful puppy.

I still have fun and can be happy,
But nothing can compare
To that unparalleled exhilaration
Of standing near to you, holding you tight,
Wishing the world would hold still,
Even if only for a moment
To prolong that maelstrom of emotions in my head.

And the only thought that seems to creep into my head is -
          I miss you.
And if I had my way,
I'd keep you within arms reach forever.