Sometimes my heart beats very fast,
So fast,
It could take me on the other side of the globe,

Sometimes my heart beats very fast,
When I think of you.

For some reasons,
It suddenly starts to hit against my chest.

And I don't know why,
And I don't know what to do.

Why all of the sudden,
It gets hysterical, critical...
I guess it's chimical.

It hurts so bad
I feel like I'm dying inside
Such an odd feeling
Such an odd pain.

It's okay, it's called experience,
You said
Well I don't like it
I would just rather
Never have experienced that,
But that would mean
Never knowing you...

Eventhough
I have all this pain
All inside of me
I don't know if I'd like
To erase all of those things,
All the joy I felt
When you held me tight.

Yes it was short.

Such a small amount of times,
Yet I got intoxicated
With the love I felt.
Holding myself
From telling you
I love you;
Not to scare you.

All the same
I failed at my own game
I guess it was just too obvious
Too obvious
Too strong
That I couldn't help myself
From bursting out in tears
When you said these words ;
Got it, it's over.

It's okay, it's called experience,
You said
And I experienced
What it's like to love
Someone who considers you like a doll.

I made wishes
For you to come
Back to me.
Every single time,
And every minute
You're in my lonely mind.
Afterall,
And after all this time
I really wonder why
You're still in my lonely mind.
In my dreams,
In my nightmares,
You are there.
I don't know and I wonder why,
For me this is so hard
While this girl is your arms...

Where does the innocence
of childhood go?

a time when mom was
all it took to sooth life's sorrows

when rocks and trees were
the foundations of our
imaginary castles

when we used hugs and kisses
as our currency of choice.

was your best friend was the one
with pigtails who you just meet
on the swings?

or was he the one who no one
seemed to like, but always made
you smile.

how is it that we've lost this part
of our being?

does it flee with the passing
of time? or the coming of age?

does it retreat due to a compromised
simplicity? or does it surrender to
newer and grander things

some it seems are able to retain
a sliver of their youth and
have that eternally vibrant glow.

but are they not frowned upon by
those of us who grew up too soon?

To my husband, my man, my love, my life
From your friend, your partner, your angel, your wife.

How lucky I feel to have the person you are
My love supersedes the planets and stars.

God has His hand in our every embrace
Heaven sparkles at times, in your eyes, on your face.

You've taken on challenges most would ignore,
Still your heart's filled with gladness and faith, I adore.

With unselfish delight, you've helped raise our kids
Their success possible because of who you are; what you did.

Your willingness to give doesn't even stop there
You've been a foster dad to help hearts in despair.

Yes, you amaze me in so many ways,
I thank God for your love in all of my days.

You're my hero, my rock.  You see me through strife.
You humble me; complete me.  I'm the luckiest wife.

For since I do not have you,
I must remember best I can,
The days like this past Monday,
When a spliff was in my hand.

I found myself searching
For that feeling in my mouth,
The one that make saliva smack,
And had me heading south.

Down to the Circle-K of course,
Since water could not cure--
And gum could not be found,
Up the isle, I saw, obscured.

Gatorade!--Amongst the chips and chocolate,
I wandered through that maze,
Oh cottonmouth, you waited so patiently,
In that silly haze.

Tie a string to your finger,
So you can remember,
That love,
Is hard,
To come by.
It's hard to keep,
And even harder to ignore.

Let that string remain.
Let it get coarse and thin.
Let it dangle as you run.
Let it soak in the bath,
Taking up suds,
While you take off grime.

Untie.
Tie.
Untie.
Let it fall on the table.
Let your fat cat chase it.
Put it on the stove,
And watch it burn to nothing.

Take the ashes to the streets,
Keep them in your pocket as you run,
As they seep through the seems,
Feel the dust fall down your leg.
Let your skin absorb its memory,
Like graffiti pops on a blank wall,
Like a trail beaten into the earth remains,
Long after it's abandoned.
Like the stain of sauce on that fresh white shirt.

Like a string tied to your finger.
All of which can never be forgotten.
Should never be forgotten.

Do not deny that bow once sat,
Perched on your pinkie.
Do not ignore the future it implied,
Or your expectations.
And know that,
That red line,
Remains,
Even after the string is gone.
It never truly disappears.

I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."