I came back from Nicaragua
And you came with me.
Now you and I are so close,
But I feel your affects on me
I wonder if this thing we have
I know you love me—and all,
But I’m just not
You can’t see me,
But I’m here at my desk,
In a gray swivel chair,
In a sea of cubicles.
But you can’t see me.
And you can’t see
Over the shoulder
Or their quiet looks
And you can’t hear me,
Because you’re too busy,
And I know
“My loved ones are being taken advantage of“
But this is a one sided conversation.
So I let you talk,
And I let you end it.
“Go **** yourself,”
I say to a dead line.
And I go out for pretzels and beer.
Balance on my heel
For a moment,
Make sure I'm real
Let's tip toe
Through the family hall
With steps you know
Relax, de-stress, the moon is full tonight
The stars are out, faces turned forward
Trials painted end to end
Your heart never felt so bright
So good night stars, and good night moon
Tomorrow’s quick to come
Awaken to the face of the rising saint,
I’m glad this day is done.
They say early to bed, early to rise
If I wake to the absence of our smile,
Was it worth the rest I took?
What am I here to compromise?
I’ve heard what They say about love,
I’m really not impressed
Like I said, now you’re de-stressed,
Time to compress, to digest my exposition.
If your heart doesn’t flutter like mine,
Relax, all will come in time.
Tension at the table.
They break bread
As you would faces.
They talk with tongues tense
Through taunt teeth.
It’s family dinner.
And although you sit miles away,
You’re sitting there now.
Each chair squeaks.
To shift weight.
Utters of small talk,
As you wait for the implosion.
This is not an essay.
Or an open wound.
True debauchery, no, true inspiration
Must come from
What has been
Crossed out, no, from what has been done before.
It will, no, it must ripple along muscles pulling strings as puppeteer,
to the beat of your tapping brain.
It will, yes it will, hit the bass and vibrate.
Let these be the guidelines.
Only follow the childhood dimples.
The eye's laugh line.
Follow the faint definition down their arms.
Find that spot along the waist.
The dropoff by the hip bone.
Where only those you love can rest a calm hand.
Feel the rough hands
And make note the spot
Where the coarse turns to soft
And realize we all have our rough spots
And they are always followed by smooth patches.
Hear them breathe.
Listen to the heart as you would a piano lesson
Ready to imbrace new patterns
Opt to rest your head,
To close your eyes,
To tell yourself that time is nothing
And that this moment is every moment.
Tell yourself that love is real but that people don't exist.
Tell yourself you are asleep.
Tell yourself that only children's dimples are beautiful.