why is someone always screaming at me?
I dont hear the screaming but rather it pours out of my mouth. I've realized the screaming is me. My mouth is shut but the screams are pouring out.
Why am I screaming?
What was it that made me scream?
When will I stop screaming?
shrieks
cries
repeating
endlessly
and
mindlessly
I've always been screaming. My throat is cracked and my heart is broken and my lungs are deflated but my screams continue.
I want them to stop.
Help me make them stop.

the earth and the trees are groaning with laughter and heartache and throwing up and trying not to lose themselves or maybe that's just me. How am I supposed to know the misty from the clear when am I free of the void which is void which is void which is a repeating record which is void which is void. The morning is new and the day is new but they are gone. They've left but their minds are still with me in my mind and our colors are the same. My color is red and gold and deep sea green and lilac.

drinks as empty as our eyes,
we walked together to the skies.
following someone who wasn't there
trying our best not to care.
but our hearts are full
with something so un-cool.
because you're ugly
and I'm ugly.

I'm holding your hand
thinking that life is bland.
so I do the things that you don't
hoping that you always won't.
I like you when you're innocent
you like me when I'm in a sin.
because you're ugly
and I'm ugly.

I'm screaming in my head and in my ears and in my closed mouth because as I drive to work you lay shriveling on your living room floor. Your voice is speaking to me softly but all I can hear are screams coming from one or maybe both of us. I'm scared to forget the feeling of your fingers on the back of my neck, the incense of your house, the gold dripping from your every pore. The idea of you, helpless and alone, drives me mad. Those horrible words she spoke to comfort me just made me want to throw my screams around the world. But where are you now? Would you even hear them? Or have they sealed you shut never to speak or see or smell or hear again? Death is never natural. It's never the right time. It's never going to be okay.

I would have expected a stronger grip from someone who has shaken hands with the devil.

Let's paint on the ceilings of our house to let the world know that we live in the cathedral of tainted saints. Let's kiss the backs of each other's ringed fingers to let the world know that we are the crowned fools. We are the youth of the world that is slowly becoming the elder society such as the one before us. Let's not think about our splotchy eyes and our bruised skin but instead wonder why it is that our fingertips match up so perfectly. You and I together are the new age of the old world. You and I together are the living dead. You and I together are the magnet poetry on the refrigerator that somehow made the most beautiful poem ever written out of a language we can't understand. So let's learn the new language of the world and listen to it and learn it and speak it. Let's become the paintings on the ceilings. Let's become the rings on our fingers. Let's be something that no one understands, not even you and I. Let's be ourselves while being no one at all. Let's be the tainted saints and the crowned fools. Let's be the contradiction that no one expected.

you say you've got power
and you think you have control
but how far along do we have to get
before our lives turn into a burning mess?
everything I touch catches flame
and you're no exception.
my eyes like a match
to your gasoline rage.
anything I say makes you flare up
in heat and soot and smoke.
I'm tired of the smoke stains.
I'm tired of the burn marks.
I just want for it all to end
before we both go down in ashes.