Jacinda: Favorites

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

Your hello whispers across my skin
as you greet me in the cold
Your goodbye bites my bitter cheeks
as you disappear out of my life

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Waiting

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

Waiting

I feel like I'm always waiting
waiting for a reply
Why don't you answer me
why won't you comply

I'm not going to be around much longer
I'm getting sick of this affair
The longer I wait, the further I'll drift
the sooner I'll shed a tear

Don't keep me longing
Don't keep me dreaming
Don't keep sighing
Dont' keep me *waiting

Waiting is so very hard.......

Aug 2014 Jacinda

I'm Sorry

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry for leaving you
To face the world on your own
I'm sorry for giving up
For letting go

I'm sorry for the pain, the tears
All the sleepless nights
I'm sorry for not understanding
For giving up the fight

I wish I could come back to you
To take it all away
I wish I could have stayed with you
And this today I pray

I pray you'll learn forgiveness
To love as I loved you
I pray you'll speak with kindness
Compassion and gratitude

I'm always watching over you
Keeping you safe from harm
Although I'm gone from earth
I'm not that very far

I'll always be your guardian angel
I'll keep you safe in times of need
Remember I'll always love you
This here is my plead

*i'm sorry

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Free

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

Free

The smooth plains that are my arms
Are gushing blood red rivers
As they are torn apart
Ripped to shreds

By pain and suffering
Torment and anguish
Soon they will heal
But never again will they be whole

Now they are covered in small lines
That mark the start of something new
A release, a distraction from reality
A way to finally be free

Freedom comes with a high price..

Aug 2014 Jacinda

How

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

How

How is it that when ever I'm mad
You can make me smile
How is it when I'm feeling down
You can make me giggle
How is it when I'm so upset, so depressed
You can make a light come shining through

How is it when my world has turned
You can flip it right around
How is it when I'm always frowning
You can pick me up off the ground
How come its only you
No one else gets through the way you do

*how

how...

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Just Friends

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

Just Friends

Why am I so stupid around you
Why do I always say the wrong things
I'm always making a fool out of myself
Always clumsy, always thick

I'm constantly blushing
Always red in the face
It's not a pretty look for me
Or for anyone in that case

My heart races when you come near
My tongue goes thick in my mouth
I can't speak, cant think
I always wish I were somewhere else

Life would be better if it went back to the way it was before
Just friends **nothing more

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Insomnia

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

Insomnia

I can't stop thinking
about everything and anything
my brain won't shut up
especially when I'm trying to sleep
it's so frustrating
when I'm tossing and turning
thoughts bounce around
and around my head
they keep going in circles
in squares
whatever shape they can
never stopping
never ceasing
always moving
until suddenly it is morning
and my brain shuts down
finally some rest, some peace
for a little while
until my brain gears in again
and starts to think
then the cycle starts over
and suddenly **I can't sleep

Aug 2014 Jacinda

I Just Can't Help It

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

I Just Can't Help It

I know I said just friends
and that is what you want too
but I can't help my feelings
even though they don't 'exist'

i.just.can't.help.it.

I want to lock up my heart
and throw away the key
to never feel again
at least not right now

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Hidden

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

Hidden

Fake smiles
Fake laughter
Fake light in my eyes
How does no one see through this facade

Hiding tears
Hiding my fears
Keeping them locked away
To find the real me, you'll have to search and search

*I'm hidden far away

Nobody sees the real me. I guess I've gotten to good at hiding...

Aug 2014 Jacinda

What You See

Aug 2014 Jacinda

Chaos

What You See

I don't understand why
You all look up to me
You say I'm all these things
That I'm so obviously not

Your saying that I'm perfect
I'm flawless, without fault
But have you looked at me
Underneath my surface

You see beauty, perfection
I see scars and mistakes
You see happiness, light
I see anger and hate

I don't think you realize
I'm not the angel you see
I'm not a role model
I shouldn't be put on a throne

I'll never be perfect
I'll never be free
I'm locked inside self hate
I've thrown away the key

So I still don't understand
What you see in me
Why do you look up to
A person I'm obviously not

I really don't get what you see