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  May 2019 Josalynn
Stained Glass
"I want to drown myself in music
give myself to art
forget that I have a name
and become the kind of beautiful that is only found in the heart."
Josalynn May 2019
Those who wander are lost.
I lost my friends.
I lost your heart.
But, losing you was the worst part.
Of the path that
I’m taking.
Every smile I’m faking.
So, nobody sees how I’m aching.
I can’t climb much longer.
My brain has gone, leaving nothing to ponder.
My heart is shattered, rendered irreplaceable.
It is forever broken.
And in the silent night I poured all my emotions into an ear-splitting scream. It was a scream so powerful it could bring a deaf man to his knees. Following the siren-like waves was destruction. It was so powerful and painfilled it would’ve left the whole world in ruins… so it felt… and yet no one heard me… as I was so.
Addicted to my pain.
Unable to see just how much I’ve gained.
Oblivious to everything around me.
Hoping the grass will stay evergreen.
Silently walking down my path of solidity
Thinking about my one chance at tranquility.
Knowing this is my last chance.
It’s time to choose my stance.
To fight for the reprieve
Or be forever unable to retrieve
The most valuable thing in my life.
Him.
Josalynn May 2019
He feels the weight of his family dragging him down.
All that surrounds him is the prying eyes of his town.
His daddy stands in front of him, glaring, with a frown.
The weight of the burden he carries is heavy, under pressure, he buckles to the ground.
His knees hit the dirt, and he hears the deafening sound.
Unable to tear his eyes from the dirt, knowing exactly for what he’s been bound.
Wrists tied, forced to his feet, made to watch as they slip on a crown
To the man, his father, cackling, he's a circus clown.
To the woman, his mother, sheepishly wishing to drown.
To the little girl, his sister, crying, watching he’s bown.
To the young boy, his brother, wishing he could just take off that gown.
As they grab him, forcing him limp, one last time, he feels the weight of his family dragging him down.
Josalynn May 2019
She hears every footstep
Feels every heartbeat
Every thought of mine she’s kept
In the floorboards beneath my feet.

In the hidey-hole she goes
Where waves of emotion cannot rock her so.
Away to the sea, away with the breeze
Lest her heart begin to freeze.

As time goes on, her sacred song
Ignites my somber soul
That fiery haze, her icy gaze,
Crashes in waves like a gong.

A hopeful goal, her endless shoal,
Yes, she’s afraid to lose control.
As dawn ascends, and dusk falls,
She’ll still sit beside me lonely,
Trapped in these dank hospital walls.

Yes, to my grandmother who made my day,
Whose happiness i used to slay,
my strength, my hope, my true mate,
who will never argue with her fate,
Helped me out with all my needs,
blessed me for all my deeds,
starved herself for my feed,
searched for me wherever i stray,
to my grandmother who made my day,

I always just yelled at her,
made her eyes full of tears,
I've taken her always for granted,
I was only what she wanted.
Whenever she said what to do,
I always said i already knew,
To her laps i love to lay,
to the grandmother who made my day,

Days had just started to turn,
Basics of life i start to learn,
Blood, sweat, an tears are finally starting to burn,
When your little girl start to earn,
Without you i start to live,
In your absence my heart has nothing to give,
Now her life is just built on fake colour,
Your child is crying without her mother,
Running behind me her hair turned grey,
To my grandmother who made my day

Now as distances are high,
your little girl runs and hides to cry,
To search for you even in her dreams,
She stays alone and yells and screams,
Finding that you're nowhere near,
Realizing she's stranded here with pain and fear,
only for you now she shall pray,
for the mother who always makes her day...
Josalynn Mar 2019
Why do men have to go to war?
Why do they have to drift so far?
What is the point that they want?
Or is it the power that they flaunt?
No matter what, no matter how
The price paid, is not enough for now
Whether it's victory or it is defeat
Futures will burn in infernal heat
Only the dead have seen the end
No matter how much we try and pretend
There will be defeat on every side
A defeat, no victory will ever hide.

People aren’t good, they aren’t bad
How can one be happy when the other is sad
And when the raw reality uncovers
It’s more tragic than two parting lovers
All for what and what for all
Wasted for nothing, the brave will fall
Do not the brave also suffer?
Times like these are a lot rougher
“Tough times don’t last, tough men do”, they say
What for by the way?
To fight for one more day?

Men are not cowards, they aren’t brave
Ask the soldiers who lie in the unmarked grave
He didn’t die for a country, religion, fancy or whim
But for the person next to him
Who’s a father, a son, a brother, lover, just like him
Wanted to live, as much as him
He died because, his brothers died for him

And see alas! What have we got
Dead bodies, unclaimed, that rot
But still we wont stop
Until that very last blood drop
Without giving peace a chance, how can we tell
That our heaven is better than any hell.

The father’s dead, so is the son
Have I lost or have you won
The dead will never know the reason why
What exactly for did they die
What’s there to take , for heaven’s sake
Why destroy, what we can’t make
Will there ever be an end
I am the enemy you killed, MY FRIEND.
I live in a very heavily military-savvy populated area. So I wrote this poem to signify and recognize the works of the brave men and women fighting for our freedom.

— The End —