Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Aug 2016 · 1.6k
Resist- The Dream
J T Gaut Aug 2016
Release the bowels and scrub the shame
Metal grit hand-towels
A curious novelty I would come to know as omen
Tacky pink tiles- well noted

Return to see my identity bereaved
Or maybe just my clothes
Strange how they blend in turmoil
No fear for the pistol at my gut, braved in its defense
No fear for thugs I make my company
Even as silent secrets are sent racing across fingertips
I am untouchable

A crowd grows, a debaucherous menagerie
Of Drug abuse and ****** bliss; the **** grows
Time and place erase
Two blue lakes of cotton; now green vines of vinyl
It makes no matter: the **** grows

It grows until memory is no more
Just a fear – what has happened?
And her face is there, the soft skin
The sharp features. The sly smile.
Soft mahogany and Serpent eyes
A beauty you cannot surmise
“You were mine, and I was you.
Taken as I’ll take again”
Then our next meeting, not so far from then
As the scratching record is played again
In headphones meant to control
Resist!
She has my arms, too weak to move
She has my neck, strained to turn
They will take you, and then
YOU will be no more, just a thing
A servant to this beckoning
RESIST!
This battle in your mind, control
As the beat grows louder, that maddening din
So full of fear as you entertain it’s sin
What can you do, once it’s powers in?
HELP! I mean to cry
But nothing with my lips so dry
HELP! I try to choke
All that leaves is wisps of smoke
HELP! And there it is
A whisper, for what the battle did
~ “help” I groan, and finally awake.
Aug 2016 · 281
To My Fanblade
J T Gaut Aug 2016
Shivering fanblade
I never really noticed
Through all my years of coyote defenses
To silicone distractions of varying degrees
Still you have shivered, dancing over me
Guarding my domain through my exits
Ever shimmering, unnoticed.
Until now, as the beetle’s poison devours my feet,
And I cannot move.
Finally I can say

Thank you.
Oct 2014 · 443
Old Fingers
J T Gaut Oct 2014
These old fingers have nothing left to say
These old fingers have naught but decay
These old fingers long to race away
These old fingers cry to me all day

Memory. Facility. Long benign productivity
Child, its me. Don’t fear to be friendly
For it’s a long time since me and you last met
Theres a few things, we’ve lost between, I bet
Oct 2014 · 350
To Pass the Time
J T Gaut Oct 2014
Something about “to pass the time”
I couldn’t really hear
Through the muffled cough
And shuffled feet

The sounds rush in and out
Incomplete
Somehow more beautiful for it
Schedules personified, maybe

His missed directions
Do not preclude me
There is equal value
In inaction as its counterpart

Balance, I suppose
The oft referred key
That never seems
To make it off the ring

So do not trouble me
With your coffee cups
Adrenaline-fueled charades
Long unslumbered nights
Grand parading lead by myriad prophecies
-which one?

The frantic scurrying of your claws
As you dig, deeper, deeper
Fiending for the lunar eyes
That return curious, befuddled looks

There’s a secret I never told you
I don’t think he heard either
As he left
When you keep your mind sharp
The only surprises you find
Are the ones you don’t expect
Nov 2013 · 406
Fear
J T Gaut Nov 2013
Fear
Sometimes the light holds more terror than the darkness
J T Gaut Nov 2013
Blanket troupe called finally finalizing finances
beseeched of asian seas and deformities
begone of witch's seeds
creeds,
and further formalities.

Controlled and sold away,
disney ears and candied shmears of salmon serendipity and forlorn serenity

collapse, perhaps?

can't strap the wrap of boot soles and cannoned poles
of butts and handles throwing sandaled barbarians in their foolish faith
For Empire!
the dire need of those to take and feed and be the god-men to tickle and bleed friends and foe alike,
to nettle the fangs of the good hounds blindly following;
scent dividing love and steeds to carry armies and lone conquerers to their final destinations, permutations of how so many flowers whittle at the broken touch of thunderous life;
of hidden strifes that attack these patient sentinels
their yelps yet signals of defeat so unburly pardoned
Apr 2013 · 1.3k
Sex
J T Gaut Apr 2013
***
Eel, squirming in the flow
pure ecstatic
each gentle caress
sending shivers of joy
evoke the power of puppeteers
take my willing body
and make it dance your dance

Fireworks and warmth
covers and bath salts
smooth like good chocolate
-and just as irresistible

Puppeteer, take my body;
I do not think I could stop you
But please, have my soul;
for it is mine to give
Apr 2013 · 745
How to Stop Traffic
J T Gaut Apr 2013
Bullet trains and charging birds
Running yields to riding
Horses yield to carts
Pushed carts stop for carriages
Drawn by bulky steeds
That whimper as the puttering engine speeds

The steamer yields to the auto
The auto yields to the train
Which become bullets flying on rails
Which fly cargo on metal sails
All the years flying and running and charging into one intersection of  chaos
The noise and screeches turning
As I spin lost in the traffic
But
The runners the charging horses the spinning wheels the churning cogs the burning oil the screaming steam the ricketing rails the roaring jets
Stop

For a kiss
Nov 2012 · 871
Irrational Fear
J T Gaut Nov 2012
I want to ****** the ignorance
flowing through your hair
and pummel it to the ground
to keep your eyes from puffing red as smoke

The looping madness careens
the shivered hiding up on chairs
fighting fear, paranoia, and disgust
and the growing tendency to choke

a spider's lair can weep
for loneliness and despair
its reach is only inches
past the horrored lies you spoke




It's hard to find a victim
and a culprit bound in one
its hard to hold you, lover
when fists coil forth from thumb
Nov 2012 · 639
Catch My Fears
J T Gaut Nov 2012
swirling mysts churl and twist
succumbing to lumbering fits
of logged and dogged slumber
trudging through slush

find, search, become
knowing life as one
the game to end a beginning
this channel jumps conflagrantly
so search little finger
stumble the buttons and find their worth
but never question

catch my fears
shedding on your shoulder
the quiver fails to shoot the arrow
but only calls the target into play
lost but once in a day
and left embracing the last drop of comfort
hold me so that I may be whole
hold me so that I may be whole

catch my fears
and take them in your basket
carry my pieces with you
forever and more
hold me so that I may be whole
hold me so that I may be whole
Nov 2012 · 815
Faerytale Lost
J T Gaut Nov 2012
sitting in class ******* terrified
ideas coast through my eyes and skid broken
to the brick wall that is my brian
twisting and strained
pouring out its feelings but taking in nothing?
Father, will I fail?
Father, will you care?
can love so easily leave the lost
or does it follow, like a faery?
loyal in its simplicity
loyal despite the cost?
Nov 2012 · 1.3k
Memories of a Boy
J T Gaut Nov 2012
Yellow light, dust
The smiling face
Eyes beckoning to hear
White plastic, encrusted
A new love, entrusted
Bonds reaching only
In thought they masquerade
Bonds here, tight
Strengthen and Fortify

To have these thoughts again
To replace morbid guilt
To find you amongst the dirt
And tears, of orphans and needles
To take these feelings with yours,
And bury them, tied with quilt
To return again to the bosoms of our mothers

One proud, one sad
Truth would have it reversed
Oct 2012 · 799
Text to a Team Captain
J T Gaut Oct 2012
I sprinted a few miles then carried a human being into the ER,
where I still am.
Little idea of when I can get home.
Would it be sacrilege to skip morning?
Recognized as poetry by Marky-mark
Sep 2012 · 1.1k
Bedside
J T Gaut Sep 2012
Encircle me
arms parrying down
down comforters and mist
forces crush and twist
protect me in your blue

Breath returning stream
child in a cupboard
locked into shelter
firm pressed by fragile hands
a lioness in the brush

I find myself lost- or was it found?
in this hearth where I was bound
afraid to see the cost
so I sit
coalesced into your lap
let the thoughts float forth and back
And swirl around the finer points
of small man's musings
as the artist meets his idol,
song beneath the whispers
whispers beneath your love-
that mystical beast
so readily escaping
snapping at quizzical hands

stumbling around a dark room
after bright lights de-lucidate
and validate this mutual need
crushed again, by failure of seed
Sep 2012 · 842
Water Dancer
J T Gaut Sep 2012
Low light and the murky air
Damp, lurid; dust parade
Stale breath and the pounding of soft wood
Stage set, waiting for life

Walls set so high among the purple sky
The hills but glancing over the parapets
Icy hot stone turning me away
Perhaps the gate is on the other side?

Music starts, blank stares
Somehow betray a thought
As movement becomes grace, grace becomes meaning
And for once a call beckons

And the walls begin to tumble
Chipped by every sigh and every turn
Waters rush through the hills, sweeping aside
Sage brush and hot sands, charging
To drown out the scared girl’s cries

Yet they seep through the cracks
And lift you up

I had sent a ship to these shores
And the polished wood moaned as it came
Happy tidings of wealth and good-fortune
Its sails flapped in the winds
As I ponderously shoved it on course
Tentative as a mother releasing her child

The cold winds shake and maim
The crack of the heavens scare and restrain
The heaving hearts of the galley crew
Between the charming bay, engulfed by flame
Flares that failed and faltered when needed most
As the crew found themselves dashed against the rocks

It is odd to see this city, where my wares were bound
Inundated, gloriously awash
Perhaps my wares will float right through the gates
And betray effort and worry and care.
Because they are still out there
Floating through lurid seas, waiting.
Jul 2012 · 342
Futility
J T Gaut Jul 2012
The Power of the Pen may blind
As to the reason of the bind
Yet for all words paper can find
the soul may lack reply in kind
Jun 2012 · 707
The Children are Tired
J T Gaut Jun 2012
The Children are Tired
As I dropped you off
the fake rock
plastic foundations of whispy dreams
clattering and slipping

The Children are Tired
as they grasp for my arm
Wary enough to ignore
I, too, rest on the ground
waving arms as they crash atop of me

The Children are Tired
as they scream at the lights
defeated again by flashing colours
While the bonds of blood
fade into an oblivion
of self-realized failures

The Children are Tired
as they shake off the dreams
of beseiged mental injections
and arise in the ashes of another's grave
and struggle clumsily
for their first-known home

The Children are tired
smiles drained shallow
as they cling to hugs
praying for the old deities
of love-play and warmth
but find cold calculation

"Whose temple did we stumble into?"
We cry in anguish
but while we were pushed
we were not dragged.

The monotonous shuffle of feet
lays claim to the knowledge

The Children are Tired.
May 2012 · 529
D 37
J T Gaut May 2012
I kicked the wall
I said "I'm not ok"
pride
I spell it out
I cry
I    I    I    I
I yell. For My
...

I
                      apologize
I
               bleed
J T Gaut May 2012
“A relationship with knowledge”
It was said in preschool classrooms,
Childish cafeterias and forgotten
Blissfully, on the monkey bars and jungle gyms

It was said to raging delinquents
Preached to a stuffy, shy girl
Busy pushing her glasses too close to her nose
Fidgeting around the corners of the library

It made its way towards teachers
And  raucous PTA meetings
Each lobbyist far too  adamant;
Ears drooped and beleaguered

A relationship with knowledge
Well
Who is this knowledge?
Does he play nice?

I think I met him, once
He smiled at me, dirtied- on the street
But I can’t really be sure
He seems to be awfully elusive

How silly, to make a relationship
With someone who never seems to show up
But maybe its not his fault
maybe we’ve ruined his fun

Watching us now, elbows dug into text
Bracing like bulls staring down cobbled streets
It seems an awfully aggressive stance
To take with company

It looks as if our teachers lied
We are trying to capture knowledge
Or I wouldn’t be the only one
To sit by the train tracks
Waiting for my friend to come along
May 2012 · 934
Glory
J T Gaut May 2012
The horns ring and the bells chime
Room in the lists for no pantomime
Lads atop boney old nags
Stylized of coursers
Of course and manner
Leading the charge, yet fields behind
In all courage, hair flying
Without fear and without crying
Under hoof and boot, to carry forth
Towards lands of unending fame
Yet how quickly the arrow flies
To make his mount lame
And familiarize his clear face
With the dirt, fear and famine
Hidden so plainly within his race
May 2012 · 795
Reclusion
J T Gaut May 2012
I felt the world rejecting me- quite literally.
I feel the stars and black stare racing towards me
Cold, icy, boiling space. Vertigo and G’s
Dazed and confused, love in a dugout
Static movement erupted by the oddman out
Electric dogs and burning books
For the man who leaves the party to do nothing
Or is it?
May 2012 · 700
System [error]
J T Gaut May 2012
Time splitting heads
Galaxy rushes through the led
Fingers cannons, pastors and saints
Masters of sound and color and space
Ideas; too many and too great to have any relevance
J T Gaut May 2012
Come rest, the weary;
A sheltered bay
Slings and arrows ne’er compared
To the mumbled words never said
Personal perceptions pursued

Come eat, the hungry;
A feast, fit for cattle
Jesters a King’s only friend
The only pest made to ignore
Power ignited so rarely in the strong

Come come, child;
A ***** constructed
Wood timber and sneers
The difference between “survive”
And “thrive” is how fat you get
May 2012 · 1.8k
Pen on Yellow
J T Gaut May 2012
Have you ever lost a staring contest
To a pen?
Its eyes stare and petrify
All my limbs
The only movement my body betrays
Is the panicked beating
Of my chest against the warm air

No hunt and no monster
Has ever brought me so close to my death
Fight, only another excuse
to guard myself, and hide within
the old, motherless womb
the steel framework of bones,
my ribs encase more than lungs

But this pen, allied with
The gruesome,  horrifying, smiling
Faces of the kind kinfolk
Has chased me to the corner
Brought chains and locks to furnish me
Like a window frame or a stylized vase

The only teeth I fear
To sink deeply within me
And spill my blood
A display to the world

Silly- I am called a grown man,
Yet what I fear most
Is a small plastic cylinder
Resting on a yellow pad
Written and read aloud at a poetry reading
May 2012 · 701
Limping
J T Gaut May 2012
Limping
Corners of the earth
Giants, stoic like the armies of the dead
Grasping soft blood, spreading to their domain

Paper widest of all
So thin the fly takes no note
Flakes falling like a british supper
Limping

Legs drag, springs worn
Too many parts have been given
To repair the limbs of others
Leaving this specimen too weak to walk
Too lost to stop

But images of war, of strength and pride
The wounded are cowards to stop
The battle, and life, lay ahead
So bleeding hearts, broken bones, torn flesh
Charge forward and smile
May 2012 · 2.2k
Unspoken Rant in a Library
J T Gaut May 2012
**** that ****. This is poetry now. Can you say it isn’t real? Can you say my lowbrow barbaric mind doesn’t express itself? Can you tell me these words aren’t art? **** that. This outcry is whats comin next.

Them burnt cars and bullet scars,
***** boots and tittie bars,
forget to bathe, **** the shave,
my pillow case is made of pave-ment,
twenty years late on that first pay-ment.
I asked the question but got delay-ment,
on what the **** has this all meant?

My colours just distract, them smiles just an act-
you think I’m tokin and ******* and happy go-lucking,
***** im drowning in the bills I haven’t even seen yet,
throwin off the debts as the horse that rolls the best bet,
and don’t forget,
every second you lay down to lie them eyes and theorize,
youre just getten burglarized,
want a burger and fries?
Twenty years off your life- oh and the change too.
Twenty seven ninety-five,
thirteen plus the years I’ll spend,
locked up with nothing to tend,
no garden, no fruit, no love to loot,
no wide eyes to fill and no breeze to shoot,
just a chain gain filling my ***** with soot,
stabbing by the next poor guy,
jabbing by that suit and tie,
the key is not to fit it right- so that every turn reminds who you belong to.
And this is what I wanna do?
Hold up- I pay for that ****?

Now I understand suicide you nihilistic gits,
taking hits while the rest picks up the bits and the red runs the slits but no one sees the slip.
Topsy turvy sliding down the grassy knoll,
the heads tumble but the dough will never roll.
No.
Its busy ******* me in, me and my ilk,
like me too much an *** to be thankful for robes of silk,
mommy’s milk, eleventh hours and the stockpiles of the dowry.
Soft as a baby,
never ****** on the sour but the sweet,
pink feet,
earned on thin green sheet and the red as the man is beat, beaten and burned,
turned spurned despite his age and whats learned.
What is learned?
If only I could tell you.
We’s on the same track , don’t ask me whats gon spell true.
May 2012 · 677
Emilie
J T Gaut May 2012
Speaking from child’s eyes
A voice, squeaking among thunders
A mouse, hidden, covered, frail
The Peasant of ages, gentle and honest

Yet only appearances can shade the eyes
Her soft skin, but a tonal feature
Misrepresentative of a true nature
A woman, looking through innocent eyes

Always hiding, Always watching, Always growing
May 2012 · 2.2k
Dragonflies
J T Gaut May 2012
My sword and shield
Adorned on Ralph and Lauren
Cherry blossoms potions of health and well being
The hunt is on

St. George but an amateur
His quarry old and withered
These dragons of the modern age
Caught in mine eyes through reeds of tall grass

In a flash my blade swings
-nothing happens
but to the magic of illusion
I am a hero, a knight’ noble

In the retrospective
I’m just a boy swinging sticks at dragonflies
And in the retrospective
I hate the retrospective
A Freestyle Poem, scrawled in a friend's notebook after an improv poetry competition (of which I was not a participant)
May 2012 · 1.1k
Conscription Poem
J T Gaut May 2012
Deception, purple paper hiding red flesh
Our fathers selling our souls to damnation
Tearing at our minds with greedy claws
Is this right to expect from kin?

Seers, red dust and speckled wounds
Sears, on supple flesh, oil spilling from sheets
Of metal, burning to the desolate sky
Carrying the lost dreams of infinity cloud-bound

A shield, bound around me, a barrier to hide
Dissolves to snakes, a silent hiss
Threats from bombs I cannot hear;
Bullets I cannot feel
yet
May 2012 · 889
Observations of Study
J T Gaut May 2012
The light eeks as though pierced through a bubble
Cloud's a light bulb; iridescence a stranger
Distant pounds muffled, yet sounding slowly
Papers rustling, forest of created simplicity
tickling my ears and laying me down
retiring into old ideas and youthful reprise
such simplicity, such grace, such comfort
in a room I've never frequented
as if exploration were the devil's ruse

How ironic that here science and study have penetrated
old tradition and oft forlorn inscriptions
yet those same explorers leave the world as strangers

How surreal: Is it a blessing or a curse?
Lessons should not solely be learnt in verse

— The End —