Dundas, 1973

There are many buildings
that stand without eyes to see them.
Your grandmother must have lived in one.
She was old and love had become
a constant affection on her face.
I had never seen her without a smile.
She had live through two World Wars
and three lovers
and had died alone
with only grey walls to say good-bye.


James H. Webb

Gently,
like a man
afraid of everything,
you hide
and I don't see you for years
then you appear in the next
subway car
face like a convicted criminal
you're shrunken down
and hunched over
and bald

and for the first time
I feel pity for you
mixed with my anger and disgust

I am burdened with the unanswered!
Does you past make you shiver
now that the wind of chance
has brought us together
and blown away the cobwebs of lies
that you use like a Tensor
to keep your guilt from swelling?

Do you cough up the bile
(that is so hard to swallow)
of that time of pain
that is now so old and neglected
it barely has memories
to cling to?

You see I know she left you too

I watch you across
the multitude of strangers
each of us
safe
from our regrets
and remorse
living like cowards
in the shackles
of our fear

I endure the pain of looking at you
I withstand the enslaught of memories
the bitterness of loss
I feel the pain
and I swallow
and for the first time
in a long time
I let it soak in
and when I re-focus my eyes
you are gone.

We used to live in old houses together
And smoke joints by candle light

We were friends.
Good friends
Friends that listened and cared
You introduced me to so much different music
We were closer than any friends
I had ever known

I can’t listen to music now

*J. H. Webb

1994*

Out of the past a woman appears
“Who is she my darling. Who is she my dear?”
“Someone I loved a long time ago”
“No that’s not true you still love he so”

“In your eyes I can see a longing laid bare
Who is she my darling. Who is she my dear?”
“Someone who stole my heart from its home
Left me half shattered; left me alone”

“So why does her presence still fill you with fear?
Who is she my darling. Who is she my dear?”
“She’s no one my darling just let the thought go
For you are the sunlight and she’s last year’s snow

You fill my soul with hope and with care
Where she weighed me down you’ve lifted me clear
You are the answer to all of my prayers
I love you my darling. I love you my dear

You are the most love, one heart could convey.
She is a bad dream that won’t fade away.
Though I can’t forget her she can never compare
She’s no one my darling; there’s nobody there.”

James H. Webb

oct 23 2015

Once in the throes of matrimony
Twice in the throws of ***
A woman left me waiting
in a way I still regret.
And love was all around us.
And dancing on our tongues
Were all the kindest kinds of words
that ever could form love.
And I was smitten; yes I was bared
like Adam was to Eve
So let the snake go play his games
but don't hide behind that leaf
That hides your beauty from my hand
so that my hand must grieve.
The moon is hanging from a thread
of the slightest of beliefs
And if you scare away the clouds
well I swear I'll have to leave
And then there will be no one left
of any true degree
could weigh the odds of who you were
and the chance of meeting me
And here we are and there we were
and time has set us free
To wander here beneath the sky
out of touch with harmony


J. H. Webb

(from my hospital bed – Nov. 14 2017)

Over the bridge of friendship
How many time I've gone
Sometimes I'm met in the middle
Sometimes there is no one

Sometimes I am too weak to cross
Sometimes I am too strong
But crossing the bridge of friendship
That never can be wrong

Over the bridge of friendship
I've learned to heal two hearts
I've been the one most giving
And I've played the other part

I've been rude and selfish
And I've been loving and kind
But the bridge always reminds me
That I'm not alone this time

Over the bridge of friendship
I've travelled many times
Sometimes I am accepted
Sometimes I am declined

I'm not saying that I am perfect
I've had my share of pride
But I never would refuse you
On this bridge of yours and mine

So when you feel too sad or lonely
Just stop and turn around
And cross the bridge of friendship
Where you know I can be found

And I know the bridge of friendship
Will outlast me in the end
But when you take that last walk
I'll be waiting for you my friend

James H. Webb

When a bond is made it can never be undone
That is why your heart is always on the run
But I'll always be in your mind in some way
And always a part of your each and every day

You think love is hollow but it's solid as a stone
It's as light as an angel and as heavy as a groan
It travels it's own path but it never strays
It's always a part of your each and every day

Don't complain or pretend you don't know what I mean
I know I'm still in your heart, just not in your dreams
I've became part of what you breathe and what you say
And I'll always be part of your each and everyday

You can run and take cover but it's no good to hide
Those memories that exist are too deep for pride
Mean words and cruel gestures won't keep it at bay
No, it will always be a part of your each and every day

Lovers struggling through
The framework of words
Trying once again
To piece together
The patchwork of their love
They anchor their hearts
Inside of one another’s arms
And wet each other’s back
With memories that pound
Like tides against rocks

James H. Webb

Sept. 28 1979 Brantford*

When he gets mad
he lets off steam
through the weekend holes
of his hammock
where he allows himself
room to breathe
the week away
This mental acupuncture
completed
like a solemn meditation
once a week
he holds of the threat
of Monday ‘til Friday.

James H. Webb

In the momentary spaces
between the real time
I live a life as real to me
as any you could find

In the quiet between heart beats
where fear is standing still
I pretend to be the way I want
with youth, and strength, and will

In the silence of my foot steps
there dwells a voice of mine
that fights an endless battle
against what I might find

And in the endless winter
when you know the sun won't come
he appears for one brief moment
then hugs you, then is gone

And you wonder if he loves you
and you wonder if he knows
that you miss the little moments
when you two were alone.

And he wonders if you love him
and he wonders if you know
that he misses the little moments
when you two were alone.

James H. Webb

September 17-19, 1988*

A cloud above the ocean
disappoints the evening sky
Her love lost in the shadows
Never leaves her weary eyes

She missed the point
of the sun and wind
and the days at Inksetter's pond

And I say let me pray the heart away
Let me loose my hold
Let me tear all the fences down
and liberate the soul.

A lie can go on dancing
though every tongue be stilled
A little truth at a time like that
can strangulate the will

She can't explain
why the love still remains
and I doubt that she ever will

And I say let me pray the heart away
Let me loose my hold
Let me tear all the fences down
and liberate the soul.

The mist is strong in Hamilton
It's a sad depressing grey
I've driven 'round her part of town
'bout a dozen times today

And with each pass
I have to ask
Why did it have to end this way?

And I say let me pray the heart away
Let me loose my hold
Let me tear all the fences down
and liberate the soul.

I tell myself it's over now
I'm sure she does the same
But it's hard to keep the upper hand
When you don't control the game

She missed the point
of the years gone by
And the vows on our wedding day

And I say let me pray the heart away
Let me loose my hold
Let me tear all the fences down
and liberate the soul.

March 93*

Lord take me somewhere away from here
away from these sights and these sounds
Cause tonight I don't wanna be found on the streets
of this Ricochet Town

Sometimes up and sometimes down
One fine shot can turn you around
One man's smile is another man's frown
In this here Ricochet Town

Every game of life's the same
someone's loss is someone's gain
Somebody's drinking while somebody drowns
in this here Ricochet Town

There's a lady in favour in a backless gown
shattering dreams and washing them down
dancing to the rhythm and the beat and the sound
of this here Ricochet Town

Once I was ahead of the game
a man with a job and a wife and a name
but all those things got taken away
by this here Ricochet Town

So fill my glass until I've found
a way to turn this foul mood around
until I'm blind to the cruel background
of this here Ricochet Town

Sep 1978*

She sits alone staring out the window
It's sad but it's sentimental
It's not what she sees that disturbs her
But the memory of one soft and gentle

It is twilight leaning into evening
Yet the daylight now seems to linger
As if the sunlight itself new the feeling
What it's like for the heart to be injured

And it's not the first time she's been left this way
And I know it won't be the last, 'cause it happens
Time and time again

It's the little things that destroy you
Like an empty bed in the morning
When you wake up and slowly turn over
To find you're alone without warning

And as much as I'd like to help her
There's not much I can do but to tell her
That in those days that slowly come after
Time again will bring back her laughter

She sits arms reach from a telephone
But the ringing goes unanswered
It's not me she wishes to hear from
But some one who long ago left her

Scattered thoughts
shattered hearts
broken dreams
that fell apart
Tears that fell
have long since dried
love only lasts until love dies
when you feel  the pain
you wonder why
then one day
the light hits your eys
and when it does
you realize
that from the ashes a new bird flies

Dec 2001
The presents are wrapped and under the tree
Soon there’ll be plenty of good things to eat
The children are playing so merrily
But there’s one person missing this Christmas for me

CHORUS: *So send me a sign. It’s Christmas time
                   Just let me know that you’re okay
                   You left in the summer and went on your way
                   And I’m missing you this Christmas Day

I’m missing the Christmas decorations you’d make
And the smell of the turkey and stuffing you’d bake
I’m missing your pudding and your custard too
But most of all I’m just missing you

(Chorus)

The rest of the family will be here soon
The nieces and nephews and my sisters too
We’ll exchange presents late this afternoon
But there’ll be one person missing for me from this room

(Chorus)

I’ve had Christmas without snow as green as in June
I’ve had Christmas without carols and old Christmas tunes
I’ve even had Christmas without a tree in the room
But I’ve never had Christmas before without you

(Chorus)

*James H. Webb

September 21, 1996*

There’s so many things that I want fixed
But I don’t wanna wait no I want them quick
And there’s so many things I don’t understand
and I feel I should now that I‘m a man

When I reached out there was no one there
so it seemed to me that no one cared
Now your reaching out is foreign to me
Cause I never learned to just let it be

So when I holler at you don’t ask me why, you should know
I’m not shouting at you, I’m shouting at my shadow

When things go wrong I know it’s not your fault
Though my frustration brings us to a halt
It’s just a pattern I learned long ago
but I’ll get over it soon I hope
Until then I’m trusting you to pull me through
It’s not a demand - I’m just asking you
Because you’ve become so important to me
and you have the strength that we both need

So when I holler at you don’t ask me why, you should know
I’m not shouting at you, I’m shouting at my shadow

I know I misplace my anger and my love
get the two mixed up then I push and I shove
and I know I can keep too much inside
and bottle it up when I feel I could cry
And I know that’s when I should turn to you
and try to explain what I’m going through
but the past is so strong and the present so new
that sometimes I fall back on my age old views

So when I holler at you don’t ask me why, you should know
I’m not shouting at you, I’m shouting at my shadow

Well the night was young and early
But the tension was still there
I had watched you go and f##k him
There was *** still in your hair

And then as you were leaving
You gifted me that deadly blow
You said I f##ked him for a reason
And I just wanted you to know

They say love is all that matters
It's eternal is what  they say
Crooked is the hole that flatters
and the quiet always find a way

And beauty sits there breathless now
Her cigarette thrown in the snow
She has to try hard for an excuse how
No one understands or knows

We let oceans grow between us
like they ever mattered at all
We make mountains out of mole hills
then complain when they fall

We're a poor excuse for spouses
But in love we rule the game
We've saddened all the angels
and put the devils all to shame

James H. Webb

Feb. 28, 1998

Soft, alive and wandering
The sound that hit the shore
Moves her world around in it
And beats a quiet roar

Worlds of bathing light she sees
Vibrating through the haze
The pressure and the feel of it
A comfort to be praised

Everywhere the shimmering sound
That is all she knows of life
Held within her mother’s womb
So far and free from strife

Softly as a whisper will
It land upon her eyes
Her mind feeds on sensations
As endless as the sky

James H. Webb

Jan 24 1978*

Twelve noon rolls around
the delivery man comes to the door
and you cash in on your smile.
At six o-clock supper is served
your guest says it’s a terrific meal
so you cash in on your style.
Eleven o’clock warms the bed for you
your husband lies beside you
then between you
you groan occasionally
forgetting your style
your supper is between your legs
what hunger there is left
that the delivery man
could not take care of.
Your legs are tired
you run dripping to the bathroom
you don’t even know who it is
that is dripping from you
you have served so many suppers

James H. Webb

Dec. 2, 1992*

Something slightly not completely
That's when romance is in vain
You give your all and then you fall
And then you take a chance again
No, you're not foolish - you're just human
You're not alone in this regard
Life's full of many who's hearts in small ways
Are somehow always caught off guard

Something slightly not completely
Like a blessing from above
You wait a lifetime for the one sign
That says that this time "I know it's love"
You look so foolish when she hurts you
You look so crushed by your own pride
You mumble on and ramble into
The most depressing alibis

Sometimes slightly not completely
A certain memory comes to mind
Something purely - unexpected surely
From the ravages of time
Something holy a vision solely
Floats in front of your mind's eye
A girl smiling - her eyes are shining
In the final throes of love's demise

Someone slightly not completely
Taking someone for a ride
Dances smoothly, speaking sweetly
Never seeing what's inside
Something slightly, not completely
In her manner or her style
As she sees him and she greets him
Reminds me somehow of your smile

James H. Webb

(Laura Carol Hillier - April 11, 1997 – January 20, 2016)

I have memories of a girl so full of love and living
I can still hear songs that came from a voice of woven gold
But now I see hearts that are left so broken and so shattered
They are starved of your warmth and how it touched their souls

You were an angel and in the end you were such a fighter
You were someone whom so many held so close and so dear
And in those hard times when we couldn't seem to find the rainbow
Well your bright smile was always there to light the path so clear

But what will the rain do now it doesn't have your shoulder?
How can the sun shine, even half, as bright or true?
How can the day begin when you were the light of morning?
How can the night ever end now we don't have you?

In your eyes there lived such kindness and in every word you chose
And in your grace, poise and beauty a Disney princess arose
We admired your compassion - how much you cared and let it show
We loved your love of living and treasured your heart of gold

But now so many futures are left like blown out candles
Too many journeys of walking tightropes in high winds
So many moments that will always be remembered
When in your way you touched us all and left your heart within


But what will the rain do now it doesn't have your shoulder?
How can the sun shine, even half, as bright or true?
How can the day begin when you were the light of morning?
How can the night ever end now we don't have you?*

I don't know how Hope can seem so close and yet be so     far     away
Or how the plans we make at night can change with the light of day
But when I can find no answers - your words always come to mind
"Life is a song" and love is the rhythm and mem’ries the melody line

J.H. Webb
xoxo

How long have I known you? No let me guess.
Longer than you meant to but stronger than the rest
I didn't hold you closest but I bet I held you best
Peel away the meaning and the sorrow is undressed

And there's a hunger that's relentless; it's a hunger that ain't new
It's a hunger that I borrowed from a girl who sang the blues
Well it looks like love to many, like obsession to a few
But others say it's just the way I fell in love with you

You were my only witness and so you know its true
There was no finer moment; there was nothing else to do
The mountains bowed before us - the heavens were in view
But there was sorrow from the moment I fell in love with you

How long since I've seen you. No let me guess.
Two other people's lifetimes - two decades of regret.
Too many times spent wondering was it really true
was there sorrow from the moment I fell in love with you?

Now many centuries later and many moments past
The path of time is kinder and the memories don't last
But if I didn't hold you closest, I bet I held you best
If you take away the meaning  - who I am is what is left

*James H. Webb

Sept. 28 1979

He staples his life
to a bulletin board
and reads the notices
his wife puts there
on Tuesdays
and builds his home
with nothing more
than a memory of its cause
and a worn-out hammer
that has no claws.

J. H. Webb

Steel ribbons on a bed of stones
The summer heat rises
and wrinkles the air above them
I balance with my arms out and walk on one rail  
Steven walks on the other
We walk for miles
talking about comic books
keeping an eye out for trains
stopping at every bright or different stone we spot.
Interrupted grasshoppers jump out of our way
and make us feel like kings.
The world is ours today
The sun is bright, the air is clear and not too hot
We have our water bottles of course
and apples and our fishing rods and tackle
Were headed to Inksetter's pond
Where we'll sit on the old raft and use our push pole
to move around the huge pond to where Steven
says the best fishing spots are
We are visited by various coloured dragon flies
and butterflies and moths
and everything in the world
is as it should be
at 10 years old

J.H. Webb

Dec. 8, 1975*

Dear lovers,
we await your arrival
We are standing in a bus terminal
Frowns frozen on our face
Hands frozen on our watch
We are waiting in an empty home
Daily we are keeping house
Nightly we are trying to keep
your half of the bed warm

We look for you too often
in empty chairs
and old conversations
We feel sorry for ourself too often
in shaving glass mirrors
And we fear old age
when we comb the cobwebs
from vintage sideburns

The room is not at rest
even the windows miss you
the curtains refuse to open!

Dear lovers, we are lonely
We have tried everything
We have spent centuries writing
poems to you
We have wasted our life time
singing songs of you

We know you will not be back
That is why we wait for you.

James H. Webb

Jan 11, 1991 (1:04am)*

Thank you for this song
It cheered me up when  I  was down
It felt the only thing right
when all was wrong
and I thank you for this song

Thank you for this song
It brought light to this desert of darkness
where I thought I belonged
and proved I was wrong
and I thank you for this song

Thank you for this song
May only the brightest stars guide you along
And the blessing of angels follow you
your whole life long
and I thank you for this song
and for letting me sing along

jan 25/2001*

The Atheist battled the angels
and then he battled in hell
but there wasn't much of a difference
as far as he could tell
The sinners all thought they were righteous
and the righteous all thought they had sinned
But no one looked out from inside themselves
they always just seemed to look in

When he rattled his chains they would worry,
But when he stayed still they were calm
And  the ironic sting of the battle
was in watching the battle move on
For it left him quite sad and dejected;
he had fought at the battle so long
That he didn't know what to let go of
his sword or the pen of his song

James H. Webb

I should have put the lid on and held it through the night
And even when you punched and screamed - I should have held it tight
'Cause I let you out too early and now you've tied my chain
To the hole in your promise and it's causing me such pain

I never should have watched you undress and go to bed
'Cause your beauty and desire went straight to both my heads
Guess I let you out too early cause now you've tied my chain
To the ***** that you carry that I'll never own again

I never should have given you such power over me
But your hot and ***** manners were a pleasure to be seen
I know I loved you too early and far too deep and true
You thought I was a liar; I guess I thought too much of you

I should have let you beat me the way you wanted to
But in the end you did it anyway – we both know that it’s true
And you tore apart the pieces that once were me and you
And now I feel so foolish and so ashamed of you too

James H. Webb

Soft, alive and wandering
The sound that hits the shore
Moves her world around in it
And beats a quiet roar

Worlds of bathing light she sees
Vibrating through the haze
The pressure and the feel of it
A comfort to be praised

Everywhere the shimmering sound
That is all she knows of life
Held within her mother's womb
So far and free from strife

Softly as a whisper will
It lands upon her eyes
Her mind feeds on sensations
As endless as the skies


James H. Webb

The evening was a strange one together
We drove around most of the night
We saw a star fall together
And you wished on its fast dying light
We drove away in song together
The old tunes so fresh in our heads
Our voices rang lively together
Though I realized something was dead
You said "Dance with me. Dance with me.
Dance with me. Dance."

We sang “You Are My Sunshine”
Our hearts deeply lost in our song
We sang as we drove up the mountain
Singing “May you Stay Forever Young”
We had all of our hometown below us
Spreadin’ out so far and so free
I was tempted to say my dear Donna
Let’s grab what we have and just flee
"Come on dance with me. Dance with me.
Dance with me. Dance"

We could’ve headed out west to the prairies
Taken both of our hearts on the run
We could’ve made our way south of the border
Where all lovers lie in the sun
But I just stared in silence as the car lights
And I held you as close as could be
And the distance that had grown there between us
Mere dancing could never set free
But you said "Dance with me. Dance with me.
Dance with me. Dance"

I said how can I dance when my feet are so heavy
When I feel only lead in my chest
I thought I was your one and only
Now I realize I’m just like the rest
I said, how can I dance without music
When the tune lies so dead in my heart
How can I believe life has reason
When you’ve gone and torn us apart

We drove to your mother’s in silence
I watched as you waved good-bye
And I couldn’t help wonder what you’d wished for
On that fast falling star in the sky

But if you’d said "Dance with me, dance with me,
dance with me, dance"
One more time. Then I would have
danced with you, danced with you,
danced with you, danced…
all night long
‘til the dawn

*J. H. Webb

Lying sick in a clean white bed
Staring out from behind a mask
"Are you the last person I'll ever see"
That's what their eyes seem to ask
And I can't answer those eyes truly
I can only hope and pray "No"
But I know I can't say for certain
Yet I can’t let my sadness show

It's a hard job, for sure, that I signed up for
But it’s something I never regret
And the few happy moments I share with them
Are the times I’ll never forget

Doesn't matter if their family's far away
Or waiting just outside in the hall
You know no one wants to be alone
When they're feeling so weak and small
So, I do my best to comfort them
In any way that I can find
But there’s so many others to care for
And these days there’s so little time

It's a hard job, for sure, that I signed up for
But it’s something I never regret
And the few happy moments I share with them
Are the times I’ll never forget

Oh, I'm not always brave and yes I cry
When their battle is lost and they're gone
But I don’t have the time to linger
So I make the bed and move on

James H. Webb

You've just been born
And soon you'll be buried
you barely have time to have a child
and get married

Mistakes they will happen
in the blink of an eye
leaving tricky situations
that will last 'til you die

But don't shudder
don't shake
don't fear your mistakes
each one is a gift
you will learn how to take

You will grow and recover
live to make still another
and laugh 'til your tears make you cry

The hard part is learning good-bye.

Mar 23, 2014 1:19am – James H. Webb*

The distance for survival
The difference of regret
The time it takes for both of us
To **** ourselves to death

The hollowness of modern times
The thighs of modern girls
The palpitations in my heart
So glad you’re in this world

The minute of prevention
The sorrow of the heart
The ticker tape of ancient times
The place the endings start

The solitude unfolding
The mystery put to rest
I think I understand it now
Why you never did your best

The shadow of refusal
Reverberates and parts
And bless its little crowning head
And bless its open heart

‘Cause through its doors I *** to rest
A gallant knight in arms
Who quickly used up all your looks
While you used up all his charms

A bridal path now broken down
A memory now erased
The tidal wave of valiant love
So brutally disgraced

There's no need to continue
But still I’ll carry on
An insult in my every breath
And a bruise in every song

Feb 3 1978

There is no substance to you
you float like a feather
you behave like a child
you are composed of little laughs
and tiny giggles
glued together by flour and water.
The only reason you drink
is so it will collect in your eyes.
You put on your finest stockings
you look in the mirror
and lift you dress up your thighs
Your legs are still shapely and smooth
You know you are a woman
you feel that hunger.
You unbutton your top
a little lower
and get a light for your cigarette.
To hell with independence,
you’re getting older
you need a man.

J. H. Webb

August ‎23, ‎2012*

There once was a time
Now so long ago
When I was a child
And I didn’t know
All the love I would miss
When my parents were gone
‘Cause no amount of praying
Can bring them back home

All my loves are an echo
Of how they made me feel
Yes, like I was special
And my feelings were real
And I mattered for something
‘Cause I could make them smile
And I really believed
I was a beautiful child


J. H. Webb

There was a tiny dancer once
I don't recall her name
I asked her why she danced so much
But she never would explain

She took me to a wedding
then, she took me all the way
And I thought I was in love with her
Until she went away

There was a tiny promise made
Called a wedding vow
I asked her what it meant to her
and she said "nothing now"

She took me to a wedding once
but she didn't wear a dress
she laid down on the chapel lawn
and my friends all did the rest

Feb 7, 1975*

Yes the room is still in order with the windows dressed in lace
And the bed is in the corner but it’s cold and gone to waste
The stereo’s playing music but the words are in bad taste
And everywhere I care to look your love has left its trace
From poetry and story books to lines upon my face
Its memory builds from empty air and breeds in every space

The room now seems so empty or has it always been this way?
At the time it always seems so real but in the end it's hard to say
Your tears left on the pillow have dried and left a stain
As if the bed is saying where you will not lay again

Your picture has been broken by some fool in his rage
The glass is cracked and shattered but the picture's still the same
It lays there now so boldy with a smile still on its face
Staring up so openly that I can't turn away

The windows too are waiting for you to gently close the drapes
And the dust has falling everywhere like a dry unyielding rain
And in sadness now I must leave this room where sorrows has its reign
And move into another world where death has no domain

James H. Webb

Jan 15/94

I had a friend
He had no wings
So he never did learn to fly
I had a friend
Was ******* in strings
though she never seemed to ask why

But all I know is what I see
and you are nowhere in sight
And all I have belongs to me
is sorrow and lonely nights*

I knew a life
much like the life
that you now have and hope to keep
I had a wife
much like the one
you will surely try hard to be

There was a time
when hearts were free
and our feelings flowed like a stream
Love? It was true
and honesty everything
that it was always meant to be

But all I know is what I see
and you are nowhere in sight
And all I have belongs to me
is sorrow and lonely nights

There was an age
when words were free
conversations flowed just like wine
promises were kept
and honour meant everything
though I guess it never stood the test of time

?

June 6, 2014

There's a lot of past history and tears I have cried
Some friends didn't make it and some never tried
There's a lot of remembrance and a lot of regret
There's the things that I did and the things I forget

There's a lot of old friends I know I'll never see
So I can't tell them how much they meant to me
All the moments I could have - I guess I let pass
But life kept on churning and turning so fast

Now there's a lot of past moments frozen in time
Their pictures come racing back to my mind
And the thoughts send me reeling and racing to youth
To what I thought was true and what was the truth

There's a bitter sad moment than I smile again
Like the sun in the morning after darkness and rain
There's a wishing and a hoping where ever you are
That my love can reach you though the distance be far

And join us together through space and through time
Like soul-mates or lovers - like hearts tuned in rhyme
Like people who mattered and played a big part
In the shaping and warming of each others heart

There's a lot of past history and tears I have cried
Some friends didn't make it and some never tried
There's a lot of remembrance and a lot of regret
There's the things that I did and the things to do yet

James H. Webb

The way you atacked it was bitter
The smile that you wore it was cheap
The way that you spread drew the honey
from the door of the womb for the feast

And all of my brigadeer generals
Told me how and why to attack
And they guided each wave of my missiles
Through the valleys to swarm like a pack

And I shine like an old country bulldog
In the ragged cast light of the moon
And I smile at my own demolition
'cause I'm too **** tired to swoon

And I brace my soul for the battle
And the burden keeps me on track
And I'll rest whenever I get there
'cause I know there's no turning back

And I know that the seasons are endless
and the years too quickly are past
And the songs and the hearts that we marry
We marry to replace what we lack

Ah the memories you left were sheer torture
Discarded and left there to seethe
And the words of our last conversation
Must still hang like ice from your teeth

You convinced all the jurors with visions
of why - though you killed - you are sweet
Of why it was rightful to ******
A love had become far too neat

So why does the guilt grossly linger?
Why doesn't the shame fade away?
Why does the love that you killed for
Become less important each day

Well my dear have you learned your lesson
Or will you die still afraid?
Must you take your lies and deceptions
All the way to the hole of your grave?

As tense as any madness - that any war could bring
The unseen little soldiers - are gathered in the ring
Goliath swings and misses - and goes into overdrive
So many get infected and - too many don't survive

Up in your ivory tower - where you are the disease
There the greed within you - allows this one to breathe
Did you think it wouldn't reach you - did you think it wouldn't dare?
When you're screaming like the rest of us, we'll see if you don't care

They trusted you with power - that never comes for free
You never do the right things - I don't know how you sleep
Every precious moment you waste means more will die
And all you "ordain" to offer us - is contradicting lies

The world has changed around us - so we can't remain the same
The world has changed around us - and yes, we are to blame
The world has changed around us – and not just climate change
The world has changed around us - but the rich man gains again

We have to clean more “cleanly” we have to fly more less
We have to listen more to what people mean and not just guess
We have to join together or we won't make it out alive.
We have to open up our hearts and open up our eyes

You have to question everything. Put big truths to the test.
Before you wave your flags and banners and claim you are the best
You've fallen down the rabbit hole of believing what you choose
You need to choose believing only what is proved

James H. Webb

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Found I didn't really have to try
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Since my friends had all said good-bye

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Thought it would be better than to cry
Man I felt alone on my birthday
Will I be so alone when I die?

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Lovely though my family may be
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
And pretend I was just 33

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Even though I knew it wouldn't last
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
and let the whole **** day just go past

Aug 21, 1988

The clouds are more than half
And the moon is more than full
I miss you deep inside of me
Like the tidal waves that pull
I’m torn into two pieces
I hate you and I cry
I love you and I can’t forget
Or learn how to say good-bye

In my memories you’re naked
‘cause that’s the way I liked you best
With your hair spread on the pillow
And my hand upon your breast
Like babies in a cradle
In each other’s arms entwined
We spoke of lover forever
Far past the end of time

But I loved you far too selfishly
Is there any other way?
Now I drive my bike all through the night
And I’m alone most every day
Now it feels just like I'm falling
Falling all the time
But you’re not here to pick me up
So I just lie down and cry

J.  H. Webb

(In loving memory of my mother, Diana Rose 1921-2000)

Today is a day for tears. Today is a day to cry
For long before the sun arose, a rose began to die
A rose of strength and beauty; a rose unique and rare
For that rose she was my mother for whom I deeply cared
And her passing leaves me empty and feeling incomplete
For I'll never find another love who will love me quite so sweet

Today is a day for sorrow. So don't hide your tears away
Let them flow like her love flowed, my sisters, it's okay
For to show the world we loved her there is no better way
And to cleanse our hearts of sorrow we must begin today
Only then can we rejoice and celebrate her life
Only then can happiness overcome the pain and strife

Today is a day for tears. Today is a day to cry
For long before the sun arose A rose began to fly

J. H. Webb

January 19, 2021

When the whistle blows the day comes to end
And I'm home alone until it blows again
I work all day. I rest all night
I guess you would say that's my life

And once I had dreams but they were far-fetched
I blew to the right; they blew to the left
Now the world's 2D no matter what size the screen
And people don’t touch me - just like in a dream

I don’t believe in a god, so there's no reason why
I should howl at the moon or reach for the sky
All reason behind, now there's no reasons left
I did what I could and lived with the rest

When the whistle blows the day it begins
Then I work 'til I'm tired and head home again
Don't know if I've lost, don't feel like a win
Took one in the heart, Took one in the chin.

J. H. Webb

Walk away without a sound
Leave no footprints on the ground
Leave no trace of where you've been
Leave for reasons unforeseen

Walk away with head turned down
Grab the first ride out of town
Blame it all on someone who
Didn’t do what you wanted to

Leave no sorrow in your heart
Leave no room for it to start
Pretend that our love never lived
Pretend there’s nothing to forgive

Walk away and don’t look back
Don’t dare tremble; don‘t attack
Don’t wonder where the love has gone
Or where we both could have gone wrong

Take a plane so far away
That your memories fade to grey
Do your best to  run and hide
Don't ever stop to wonder why

Just pretend I don’t exist
Time’s erased me from your lips
Just pretend we never kissed
I never rested on your hips

Walk away without a sound
Leave no footprints on the ground
Leave no trace of where you've been
Leave for reasons unforeseen

James H. Webb

Jul 10, 2001*

Little Dreams
of purple Swings
and green slides
and lullabies
Dance through your head
while your sleep
in your little bed
Darling mine
My sunshine
Daddy's little sweetness
the apple of my eye
I love you so
my tears flow
as I watch you sleep
Little Dreams
on purple wings
take off and fly

We don’t have always
We don’t have forever
But we have this time
That we are together
And we should be grateful
And raise our glass
‘cause no one knows how long
this time will last

And when all is said and done
And you and I are gone
These arguments won’t matter
‘cause no one will have won

Now there are no psychics
There's no crystal ball
Can show us the future
Or how we will fall
But time keeps us humble
As age takes its toll
And shows us how little
We really control

And when all is said and done
And you and I are gone
These arguments won’t matter
‘cause no one will have won

Now you think I’m stubborn
And I think you are too
Yet I don’t even know what
You want me to do
But this scar that I feel
Says the wound it is true
that you deeply hurt me
and I tried to hurt you

*And when all is said and done
And you and I are gone
These arguments won’t matter
‘cause no one will have won

May 31, 2012*

We had quite an adventure
in our marriage didn’t we,
you and me

… and him

But it ****** near killed me!
You didn’t know that did you.
Though you might have guessed it,
Thought you might have been afraid
I’d “off myself”
and leave you feeling so guilty
that it would throw you off your *** with
you know…
…him
for a day or two

I was seven stories up
on the balcony of our Toronto apartment
and balancing on the edge of the railing
when I realized,
(luckily before a wind came up),
that you weren’t worth it.
and that I was

Yes, we sure had an adventure
didn’t we
like being thrown in a vat of acid
and our eyes stapled open

James H. Webb