It has taken me a whole life time
To realize how you each played a part
That I have loved each and every one of you
And you still live on in my heart

I still remember all the kindness
That each one of you gave to me
And I've learned to forgive the times that
You had to answer to your own needs

And I also remember the promise
Between my heart and my head
That I would treasure every one of you
Until at least the day I was dead

Sure there were times I couldn't show it
With my anger or pain in the way
And there were times I didn't know it
But I tell you I know it today

So tonight I'm keeping that promise
I'm keeping that promise in mind
When I tell you all I remember you
and I thank you for being so kind

Yes tonight I'm keeping that promise
And I'm taking that promise to heart
When I tell you all I still love you
Even though we've long been apart

James H. Webb

Well the night was young and early
But the tension was still there
I had watched you go and f##k him
There was *** still in your hair

And then as you were leaving
You gifted me that deadly blow
You said I f##ked him for a reason
And I just wanted you to know

They say love is all that matters
It's eternal is what  they say
Crooked is the hole that flatters
and the quiet always find a way

And beauty sits there breathless now
Her cigarette thrown in the snow
She has to try hard for an excuse how
No one understands or knows

We let oceans grow between us
like they ever mattered at all
We make mountains out of mole hills
then complain when they fall

We're a poor excuse for spouses
But in love we rule the game
We've saddened all the angels
and put the devils all to shame

James H. Webb

What's the reason for this
What's the purpose
What's the cause
What makes you think
That you have won
When you know that you have lost

Well you're not the one that's leaving
You're the one already gone
You hid you're inner weakness
But that didn't make you strong
All the days we spent together
When the summers were so hot
All the doubts that you kept within
All the love that you did not

What's the reason for this
What's the purpose
What's the cause
What makes you think
That you have won
When you know that you have lost

Yes it's over - its done with
The end has come at last
But are you rushing to the future
or running from the past
Do you wash away your mem'ries
Or just store them on the shelf
Do you ever take them down
and feel sorry for yourself

What's the reason for this
What's the purpose
What's the cause
What makes you think
That you have won
When you know you have lost

J. H. Webb

January 3, 1998*

It’s a small circle now
So many friends have gone
Some of them have passed away
And some just moved along

It’s a small circle now
‘cause I never stretch my wings
The breeze I can’t remember
Nor it’s call or beckoning

It’s a small circle now
And smaller, I know, soon to be
And though I leave my mark
On fewer now, it’s easier to see

It’s a small circle now
Ah but I love them all the more
And each one that I lose now
I miss more then before

It’s a small circle now
And maybe it’s all I can draw
But those in the ring are more precious
Than all of the diamonds I saw

James H. Webb

Sep 8 2014

There's a hush in my breath as I see you
There's a rise in the heat of the air
But you're not who you were when you loved me
And you stare like I'm not really there

There's a look of regret that you came here
And you're not even sure what to say
As you pack your last few belongings
I go to hug but  you push me  away

Chorus:* And maybe it was all for nothing
Maybe you were never really mine
But I like to think we shared something
Beyond these bound'ries of time

There's a song of remorse in the silence
Once you're gone and the door has been closed
And I just stand and stare 'til the light fades
Like the love that your eyes used to show

Theres a wide awake night in the waiting
Where I'll toss and I'll turn until dawn
There's a chill down my spine that goes racing
Now I know that my hopes have all gone

Chorus: And maybe it was all for nothing
Maybe you were never really mine
But I like to think we shared something
Beyond these bound'ries of time

Theres a wide awake night in the waiting
And a memory that's so hard to bare
From a moment I'm sure you've forgotten
When you said you would always be there

*James H. Webb

Dec 2001
The presents are wrapped and under the tree
Soon there’ll be plenty of good things to eat
The children are playing so merrily
But there’s one person missing this Christmas for me

CHORUS: *So send me a sign. It’s Christmas time
                   Just let me know that you’re okay
                   You left in the summer and went on your way
                   And I’m missing you this Christmas Day

I’m missing the Christmas decorations you’d make
And the smell of the turkey and stuffing you’d bake
I’m missing your pudding and your custard too
But most of all I’m just missing you

(Chorus)

The rest of the family will be here soon
The nieces and nephews and my sisters too
We’ll exchange presents late this afternoon
But there’ll be one person missing for me from this room

(Chorus)

I’ve had Christmas without snow as green as in June
I’ve had Christmas without carols and old Christmas tunes
I’ve even had Christmas without a tree in the room
But I’ve never had Christmas before without you

(Chorus)

*James H. Webb

Ah the fear hasn't left me; the depression hangs on
saying all that I've done and believed in is wrong.
Oh I can't get ahead when I'm pulled from behind
seems I'm trying to catch up with myself all the time.

I push ahead but life pushes me back
saying "Hurry get back on that old dusty track"
But the days rush on by and the nights I'm awake
fearing the moment that the morning light breaks

I used to like living now it feels a mistake
'cause the price paid for losing has grown far too great
it don't matter anymore if your good or your kind
you'll still get trampled down in the world's daily grind

Don't know why I continue I should give up the fight,
pack up my monkeys and strap them down tight
I'm so sick of hearing I'm wrong and they're right
just pass me the bottle and turn out the light

Ah! there's nobody here except me and my doubt
guess this bottle brings the mem'ries of my friends rushing out
don't know why I keep them; should throw them away
just like they did me each one on their own day

But I never loved lightly it was never my way
and love is like a wound when it slowly decays
now all I have left is their thoughts in my head;
and my heart is left empty as an old lady's bed

And there's nothing I can say will bring them all back
I just wish they were here when these feelings attack
Ah the fear hasn't left me; the depression hangs on
in each beat of my heart and each word of this song

J. H. Webb

I should have put the lid on and held it through the night
And even when you punched and screamed - I should have held it tight
'Cause I let you out too early and now you've tied my chain
To the hole in your promise and it's causing me such pain

I never should have watched you undress and go to bed
'Cause your beauty and desire went straight to both my heads
Guess I let you out too early cause now you've tied my chain
To the ***** that you carry that I'll never own again

I never should have given you such power over me
But your hot and ***** manners were a pleasure to be seen
I know I loved you too early and far too deep and true
You thought I was a liar; I guess I thought too much of you

I should have let you beat me the way you wanted to
But in the end you did it anyway – we both know that it’s true
And you tore apart the pieces that once were me and you
And now I feel so foolish and so ashamed of you too

James H. Webb

Steel ribbons on a bed of stones
The summer heat rises
and wrinkles the air above them
I balance with my arms out and walk on one rail  
Steven walks on the other
We walk for miles
talking about comic books
keeping an eye out for trains
stopping at every bright or different stone we spot.
Interrupted grasshoppers jump out of our way
and make us feel like kings.
The world is ours today
The sun is bright, the air is clear and not too hot
We have our water bottles of course
and apples and our fishing rods and tackle
Were headed to Inksetter's pond
Where we'll sit on the old raft and use our push pole
to move around the huge pond to where Steven
says the best fishing spots are
We are visited by various coloured dragon flies
and butterflies and moths
and everything in the world
is as it should be
at 10 years old

J.H. Webb

Gently,
like a man
afraid of everything,
you hide
and I don't see you for years
then you appear in the next
subway car
face like a convicted criminal
you're shrunken down
and hunched over
and bald

and for the first time
I feel pity for you
mixed with my anger and disgust

I am burdened with the unanswered!
Does you past make you shiver
now that the wind of chance
has brought us together
and blown away the cobwebs of lies
that you use like a Tensor
to keep your guilt from swelling?

Do you cough up the bile
(that is so hard to swallow)
of that time of pain
that is now so old and neglected
it barely has memories
to cling to?

You see I know she left you too

I watch you across
the multitude of strangers
each of us
safe
from our regrets
and remorse
living like cowards
in the shackles
of our fear

I endure the pain of looking at you
I withstand the enslaught of memories
the bitterness of loss
I feel the pain
and I swallow
and for the first time
in a long time
I let it soak in
and when I re-focus my eyes
you are gone.

I struggle for no reason; there's nothing to be gained
If I manage one step forward I take two back again
I don't know why I bother, hope has long since died
And anything resembling it is shrivelled up inside

Pain isn't just an allegory when it's in the heart
Where no measure of forgiveness can repair the broken parts
Yes everything is broken; all my friends are lost
And these feelings left unspoken multiply the cost

I struggle 'gainst all reason 'cos I'm deaf, dumb and blind
To the pull of many seasons; to the loss of so much time
I feel so much a failure and the wasted days of youth
Laugh at me and snicker as I try to face the truth

I did the best I could but it wasn't good enough
And the consequences batter me and make my living tough
And if I had but one friend I wouldn't feel so bad
Or if I knew one lover who was glad for what we had


J. H. Webb

(for Paul) July 21, 1988*

You’re a ghost and a specter and a madcap that laughs
A pawn and a broker who gives only half
A slayer of virtue and a killer of craft
A sinister victim of the cold and the draft
A child who is blind to the calling inside
That speaks of conviction and the courage that died
A soul set adrift on a gut wrenching ride
And I can’t help but wonder how you sleep at night

You’re a cutthroat in hiding and a stabber in the dark
At the virtue and the kindness of someone else’s heart
You’re a history and a nightmare that doesn’t fade away
Though I cut the bonds that bind us that ghostly feeling stays
You haunt me in my sorrow and defy the mental blocks
Set up to free my world from the loneliness that stalks
Your memories and manners are a bloodbath to my ears
And I can’t help but wonder how you managed through the years

You see me bleed profusely but you won’t turn on the light
You leave me in the darkness; out of mind is out of sight
The guilt that is your trademark never kept you from the lies
You scattered at my doorstep no made you realize
That rules that are unspoken doesn’t mean they don’t exist
And when temptation strikes them well a real man would resist
You hem and haw and mince about; never look me in the eye
And I can’t help but wonder how you’ll manage to survive

James H. Webb

There is as bridge born between friends
that must by necessity be travelled both ways
Sometimes there are meetings in the middle
and sometimes at either end
but the bridge once built cannot be torn down
an eternal tether strung between hearts
if cannot be forgotten only ignored at the cost of both
And when one chooses to ignore what the other cannot,
the result is an unbearable pain that must be endured

We don’t have always
We don’t have forever
But we have this time
That we are together
And we should be grateful
And raise our glass
‘cause no one knows how long
this time will last

And when all is said and done
And you and I are gone
These arguments won’t matter
‘cause no one will have won

Now there are no psychics
There's no crystal ball
Can show us the future
Or how we will fall
But time keeps us humble
As age takes its toll
And shows us how little
We really control

And when all is said and done
And you and I are gone
These arguments won’t matter
‘cause no one will have won

Now you think I’m stubborn
And I think you are too
Yet I don’t even know what
You want me to do
But this scar that I feel
Says the wound it is true
that you deeply hurt me
and I tried to hurt you

*And when all is said and done
And you and I are gone
These arguments won’t matter
‘cause no one will have won

August ‎23, ‎2012*

There once was a time
Now so long ago
When I was a child
And I didn’t know
All the love I would miss
When my parents were gone
‘Cause no amount of praying
Can bring them back home

All my loves are an echo
Of how they made me feel
Yes, like I was special
And my feelings were real
And I mattered for something
‘Cause I could make them smile
And I really believed
I was a beautiful child


J. H. Webb

2014*

Well it's so far away now - in a time long gone by
The day you left without saying good-bye
Though it wasn't my intention - no it wasn't my goal
To break down and cry - I just had no control.
Well they say love is simple and they say love is blind
But I say love is endless ‘cause it knows no time.

Your love nestled inside me and carved out its home
In the fullness of my heart; in the marrow of my bones
And ever since you left me to go on your own
My heart has felt heavy yet hollow and alone
Well they say love is simple and they say love is blind
But I say love is endless like the blue in your eyes

Years are merely numbers to hang our memories on
A place to cuddle up to when an old love is gone
I still carry you within me where ever I go
As a part of my person - as a part of my soul
Well they say love is simple and they say love is blind
But I say love is touching a person through time

But I keep it to myself, yes I keep it all inside
Cause there's no one left to tell without losing my pride
Though it wasn't my intention. No it wasn't my goal
I just had no choice. I just lost all control
Well they say love is simple and they say love is blind
Yet for me it's just a part of you - I keep deep inside

J. H. Webb

Nov 25 1991*


I just like to hear
the willow branches singing in the wind

I just like to watch
as the morning settles down and life begins

I just like to watch
As the Great Lake breezes blow across the shore

I just like to think
that you are somewhere standing just outside a door
with your bags packed and headed home to me

I just like to hear the kettle whistle
as I place two teabags in the ***
and forget there's only me

Lovers struggling through
The framework of words
Trying once again
To piece together
The patchwork of their love
They anchor their hearts
Inside of one another’s arms
And wet each other’s back
With memories that pound
Like tides against rocks

James H. Webb

I took a path that led nowhere
Romantic love it wasn't there
All the dreams I dreamed to dare
Were dissipated in the cold night air

The moon was hanging from a thread
And the sky was just a bruise of red
The anger left by the words you said
was darker than the coldest dead

You swept away our memories
De-leafed them like a wintered tree
You buried deep our deed of love
With scars to prove you wore no gloves

And the hollowed echo of the past
Breaks the silence like broken glass
And the pain and ancient misery
Comes back again to visit me

Ah, life is cruel - but it doesn't last
Love is sweet - but it goes too fast
Youth is quick - but oh so cold
And wisdom's wasted on the old

J.H. Webb

May 25, 1990*

I'm so brave
I'll lay my love on the line
For you my darling any old time
Doesn't matter how much you hurt me
'cause I'm still alive

Everybody thinks I'm crazy
Everybody thinks I'm half insane
Everybodys eyes go hazy
Whenever I mention your name

You say that we bring out
the best and the worst
from inside of one  another
like an ancient curse

Well maybe your right
then again maybe your wrong
or maybe that's the price we pay
for loving so strong

I'm so brave
I stare right in your eyes
get caught up in your person
and get mesmerized

I'm so brave
I let you walk away
knowing I can't stop you
I can only pray

There's no rest for the wicked
or the true at heart
'cause my love doesn't end
when you pull us apart

I miss the nights
when we sat in the darkness
because the lightning storms had taken out the hydro poles.
Candle light the only light,
dancing on a ***** wall.
The mood was very subdued.
Not much to do in the darkness like that
but think and imagine.

But now I don’t even have enough imagination left
to imagine being that age again.
Just a feeling, a memory of the darkness

*J. H. Webb

Mar 6/1993
Why the smile on this the darkest of evenings?
Go to sleep now, lay your head down
I'll wake you when the morning comes
I promise to, oh I promise you
but for now...

Just close your eyes and let me lie beside you
I'll protect you from the world while you rest
and I'll wake you when the morning comes
I promise to, oh I promise you
but for now...

Let all your fears and troubles just float away
While I play with your hair on the pillow and stare
I'll wake you when the morning comes
I promise to, oh I promise you
but for now...

Let the peace of love abound and surround you
while I watch you breathe in silent harmony
I'll wake you when the morning comes
I promise to, oh I promise you
but for now...

Let the warmth of my arms put you at ease
while I watch you breathe
in silent harmony
with the world

J. H. Webb

Solace and wound
Trigger the glory
I love you
And I know you adore me

Hope and despair
Hunger and pain
I can't seem to get you
Out of my veins

Sin and remorse
Love and caress
Blood in my hair
Where your pain came to rest

Truth verses dream
Fear versus truth
Can I settle for less
Then these dramas that bruise?

Lovers take care
It will happen again
Each journey leads deeper
To the ultimate pain

All that is lost
Cannot be regained
And trying will only
Drive you insane

One side is love
One side is hate
Together they form
This unbearable state

No one survies
Nothing exists
In the hollow that  anger
Digs with its fist

All reason is lost
All love pushed away
When living a dream
that's the price you must pay

Solace and wound
Trigger the glory
I love you
And I know you adore me

If one day you find that I have left you
Not by choice and not by plan
Remember all the love I gave you
And try your best to understand
For the winds of time always move swiftly
They say they wait for no man
Now my dear I’m not complaining
I’ve lived my life and took my stand
And I loved you from the very first moment
That I first held you in my hands
I watched you grow and I grew with you
As first you crawled and then you ran
I’ve shared my heart with no one more purely
For you are a part of who I am

If one day you find, you really miss me;
Look around and I can’t be found
Well cherish always the many moments
That we both shared without a frown
Because even though I  loved you dearly
I always knew this day would come
It was my hope to be remembered
Even when I am dead and gone
And that on every Christmas Eve
You'd raise a glass and sing my song

J. H. Webb

Mar. 23, 1982

In this life, sometimes, it seems so hard to know just what to say
But the problems they still persist.
You know they don’t just get up and walk away
And the problem with problems is they just get worse
They start off slow and then they grow and grow until they burst

And you can drink, all that you want. And you can sit all morning there alone
But soon your emptiness, and your own soberness, well they eventually bring you back home
And you can face the empty bottle; oh but not the empty feeling
Take a look at your own life and your senses send you reeling
You can’t face up to the truth so your fear sends your reaching…
reaching out…

but for the bottle or for me
that is the question don’t you see
that is the only one matters to me

And in this song, there are no answers, as in your eyes I can see there is no hope
No just a hollow, vague attraction, to your skills up upon that tightrope
I thought I heard a different drummer beating in your blood and brains
But it was just your sense of panic as the world closed in again
And now it’s time to pull down the blinds and close up this shop
turn out the lights and board up my heart
I made a mistake I was wrong from the start
You can’t bud into something that you are not a part

There’s so few people, left in this world, that want to reach out the way that you did girl
There are so few, to reach out to, that can give you more than warmth or understanding
Now I don’t’ know if I am one but I tried my best to be
To open up to you and show how easy it can be to bleed

And you can say, that I was wrong, and that you were right Baby all along
But that ain’t the way it seems, no just a self-fulfilling prophesy
And the way you fill your dreams is such a masochistic scheme
but the pain is overflowing and it’s pouring out on me
and the sights so overbearing that it makes it hard to see if you’re reaching…
reaching out…
for the bottle or for me
That is the question don’t you see
Who comes first and who comes last
That is all that matters to me

And in this life, there are no answers, and you say “then tell me what’s the reason”
Well there’s a sun that shines upon you and a life that runs for many seasons
And there are people that your love who can share your deepest feelings
Holding out a hand that’s also reaching out for healing
I don’t know if there’s a cause but together there’s a meaning. Reaching…
Reaching out…
Not for the bottle or for me
But for your own sake don’t you see
You come first and you should last
Until all of the seasons have past

J. H. Webb

Sep 6/2015 1:12am

You’re the only heaven I’ve ever known
What part of me couldn’t you stand?
You’re the only woman I’ve really loved
Why couldn’t I be your man?

Talk it over to yourself
Tell me what you figure out
Though I can’t take the truth myself
I long to know what it’s about

You’re the only heaven I’ve ever known
What part of me couldn’t you stand?
You’re the only woman I’ve really loved
Why couldn’t I be your man?

Don’t play with me anymore
You long ago set me free
Just tell me why you left my dear
And I’ll let old bygones be

You’re the only heaven I’ve ever known
What part of me couldn’t you stand?
You’re the only woman I’ve really loved
Why couldn’t I be your man?

Don’t you think that it’s only fair
I should get some closure here?
Because I’ve got all the battle scars
And you’ve got all that I hold dear

You’re the only heaven I’ve ever known
What part of me couldn’t you stand?
You’re the only woman I’ve really loved
Why couldn’t I be your man?

By James H. Webb

Too many changes and the path is lost
Too many words and you lose the thought
Too many trials on a troubled heart
And the soul and the mind are forced to part

Too many promises turned into lies
by inactivity and time gone by
Too many years and too few friends
Too few beginnings and too many ends

Too many people I've known and have lost
Too many I've loved and too much the cost
Don't know where they've gone to and I don't know why
I only seem to hear about the ones that die

Too many memories where I was unkind
Fill too many moments of this old mind
Thoughts of what if and what could have been
Prevent me from living the age old dream

Age is all you have when your memories fail
Trapped inside this body like a wornout jail
How can I reminisce when there's no one there
to remember all the times when my heart was bare

James H. Webb

Apr. 19, 1989*

Give a man his credit if credit be his due
Give a man dissension if it help to change his view
Give a man a question you know the answer to
But give a man the honour of telling him the truth

Give a man a promise then break that vow in two
Give a man a hollow, rmpty bed to wake up to
Tell a man you hate him, hate him through and through
But give a man the honour of telling him the truth

Give a man a moment’s notice or tell him all year through
That soon you will be leaving; you’ve changed your point of view
Tell a man you’re hurting  and don’t know what to do
But give a man the honour of telling him the truth

Take the scissor blades of anguish and cut the bonds that grew
Between the hearts of strangers whose souls once opened to
The love of one another and what one another knew
But give a man the honour of telling him the truth

James H. Webb

jan 25/2001*

The Atheist battled the angels
and then he battled in hell
but there wasn't much of a difference
as far as he could tell
The sinners all thought they were righteous
and the righteous all thought they had sinned
But no one looked out from inside themselves
they always just seemed to look in

When he rattled his chains they would worry,
But when he stayed still they were calm
And  the ironic sting of the battle
was in watching the battle move on
For it left him quite sad and dejected;
he had fought at the battle so long
That he didn't know what to let go of
his sword or the pen of his song

James H. Webb

Jan. 1997*

As sharp as a dagger her words how they pierce
She'a a small wounded creature that comes across fierce
But once and a while she let's her guard down
And the fierceness turns into a lip-trembling frown

Then she doesn't know where to turn to, or how
To face us as weak as she feels she is now
I look in her face - see the tears want to fall
The way she controls them - doesn't that say it all?

There's so much inside her. Oh there's so much untried
But her fear is a knot that her will won't untie
So I struggle to help her but am forced to look at myself
And see I am no different inside of my shell

So all I can tell her is that I'm the same
But that hope is an answer as well as a flame
And that every journey can be measured in steps
Unless you're at home and you never have left

I look in her face; feel my tears want to fall
The way I control them - doesn't that say it all?

May 26, 1991

I felt a pain where you touched me, a pain I couldn’t describe
I closed my eyes to recover but the pain just wouldn’t subside
I looked to you for the answer. You pointed at once to my side
The hole there was deep and was narrow and the wound it gaped open wide
You knew when to wait for the moment. You knew when to strike and to hide
And the only blood you got on you, was hidden in the dark of the night

Brother of mine.
Brother of my own.
My only brother.
My once upon a friend.

You ran full of need to take cover never stopping to pull out the knife
It was stronger than all of our friendship. It was longer than all of our life
It sliced the bonds that had bound us to help each other survive
And the ghost of our love for each other simply vanished without even a fight
Now each tick of the clock is an echo. Each minute a god given right
Each promise is held in detention and each truth is held to the light

Brother of mine.
Brother of my own.
My only brother.
My once upon a friend.

You know all of us live life as actors until the moment of truth arrives
So let nobody judge the actions or those who have been and survived
For all who survive are the masters of keeping their feelings alive

J. H. Webb

June ‎27, ‎2012

If just for a moment
I could get you to throw away
This need for a God;
This desire for a life other than this

If only for a moment
I could get you to see
That there are enough
"Miracles" in science and nature
And you don't need to
Attribute them to a
Supernatural Man-in-the-sky

If but for a moment
I could get you to use
Your faculties of reason
To accept the lack
Of evidence of what
You cling to.

If for a moment alone
I could get you to know
What you must know
In your "heart of hearts"
That this is the only life
This is not a dress rehearsal
For a heaven or a hell

That “this” is the heaven or hell
We each make for one another

Then, I would rejoice knowing
There was a chance our species
could continue

Knowing no one would ever again feel
the need to fly planes into buildings

Or to force their unsupportable
views upon my children
when they sit in school

Or to **** as they have  done
for millenia
because their particular
interpretation
of a particular ancient book
disagrees with someone else’s.

If for a single moment
Because that moment of enlightenment
might just be enough to free you.

J. H. Webb

June 6, 1990*
(Atlas and Diana)

"Atlas" she shrugged as the moon touching down
dove into the lake and shortly was drowned
"There's a woman who is like me in every single way
Hidden deep inside where some little girl plays
And shouts for release from the bonds we have tied
though they helped me to grow, she has been pushed aside
And so I must leave the safety of the net
where you always would catch me before I got wet
and face the world boldly and alone as I must
to see if I can find her before she is dust"

"Diana" I cried to the small points of light
filling up the heavens yet lost in the night
Our love is an arrow buried deep in my heart
Though the shaft may be broken it is only one part
and the rest there remains as it has from the start
based not on your presence but upon who you are

In the moment of your wak'ning I fell fast asleep
but I'd never want to keep you from the wisdom you seek
in the depth of your soul a curiosity burns
and I know you must follow its twists and its turns
But when you feel lonely and when you feel blue
just think of the stars and my love will shine through

Aug 22 2014

I thought you were a wishing well that I could wish upon
I'd simply toss my money in than ******* on the lawn
But you woke up screaming nightly and your fears went on and on
So I held my head between my hands 'til your craziness had gone

We made love until the morning came and woke me with it's light
Then I left you lying naked like an eagle in full flight
But at least I stooped to give you  one final kiss goodnight
And then I disappeared again forever from your sight

I guess I'm sorry to have used you but then you used me too
When two run out of love like us there's not much else to do
And I think of you sometimes at night when all my screaming's through
And I wonder if you're saner now or I've grown as mad as you

J. H. Webb

Feb 3 1978

There is no substance to you
you float like a feather
you behave like a child
you are composed of little laughs
and tiny giggles
glued together by flour and water.
The only reason you drink
is so it will collect in your eyes.
You put on your finest stockings
you look in the mirror
and lift you dress up your thighs
Your legs are still shapely and smooth
You know you are a woman
you feel that hunger.
You unbutton your top
a little lower
and get a light for your cigarette.
To hell with independence,
you’re getting older
you need a man.

J. H. Webb

Jan3192*

How do you measure a friendship?
How do you measure pain?
For both can leave you feeling
you will never be the same

For I have loved you and you have left me
And I will never love that way again

How can I realize what I have
long before it is gone?
How can I handle the loss
when all is said and done?

For I have loved you and you have left me
And I will never love that way again

How can I cling to and hold on tight to
anything my friend
when everything there is
leaves you in the end?

But still I love you with a love true
That won't change though all the ages do

And I won't forget you
for you have touched me
like my heart's been touched by
so precious a few

For I have loved you and you have left me
but you're still with me in a strange way, it's true

No I won't forget you
for you have touched me
Though you won't touch me
ever again

Gonna dig myself a shallow grave
Where the heat of the sun never stops to pray
And then lay down 'til my body stays
Watch my soul get up and walk away
And we'll be together again
And we'll be together again

Gonna search everywhere for a face that's fair
For a heart that is free and a soul that cares
And there I'll stay 'til I learn to share
And give of my heart like the open air
And we'll be together again
And we'll be together again

Gonna plant myself in a garden of rose
In a place far away where the cold wind blows
And there I'll wait in the pale moonlight
'til my baby cries my name in the night
And we'll be together again
And we'll be together again

June 14, 1989*

May you die young and lonely with no feelings left inside
May life in its wisdom stab you if somewhere your heart it can find
May you die young and slowly with a friend’s knife in your side
May nobody ever miss you and say “Oh ya? Did he die?”

May you die young and lonely and only slowly realize
The things you threw away and the things you never tried
May your selfishness turn on you and burn you from inside
And if you ever think of me may you remember all your lies

May you live your life unhappy and always sleep alone
May your loneliness consume you and carve you to the bone
May I symbolize your cruelty but never stop as low
May I make the tears come running down your sunken face of stone

May the bitterness you run from and the life that you run to
Steal your strength and stamina and drain all love from you
May you live in darkness always thinking that your point of view
Is the one and only right one until it’s far too late for you

May you die alone in misery and regret with your last breath
The day you stole my soul away and sentenced my heart to death
And when your body’s laying deep in the coldest earth
May I be busy dancing on your grave for all I’m worth

James H. Webb

Cambridge Oct 2000*

Chorus Take East River Road down to Blue Lake
I'll meet you by morning, make no mistake
Though I be dead and buried my love will come to you
And greet you 'neath the willow as we would always do

And when you're feeling lonely my darling don't despair
Just close your eyes and think of me and you will feel me there
I'm in the gentle breeze that's blowing through your long blonde hair
I'm in the call of the morning dove so plaintive and so rare
I'm in the falling autumn leaves and in the autumn air
As long as you remember me than I am everywhere

Chorus

Life must seem so cruel to you or certainly unfair
To finally find your one true love and then he is not there
To lose the one who touched your heart as softly as your hair
To lose the dreams you thought were ours to cherish and to share
And though I cannot help you with these burdens you must bare
In spirit I am with you Love in spirit and in prayer

Chorus

And if you think my love has died, that simply isn't true
Know my love will be with you 'til eternity is through
'Cause you are my one true love and true love never dies
It just opens up its wings and spreads across the sky
So when you hear the sighing wind you will have heard me cry
And when you see the rosy dawn you'll know I have passed by

Take East River Road down to Blue Lake
I'll meet you by morning, make no mistake

Sept. 28 1979

He staples his life
to a bulletin board
and reads the notices
his wife puts there
on Tuesdays
and builds his home
with nothing more
than a memory of its cause
and a worn-out hammer
that has no claws.

J. H. Webb

Sep 18, 2002*

I am blessed by the sun
and the wind is my voice
and the song that  I sing  overwhelms me

I am kissed by the beam
of the moon at it's full
and the river's fast dance it astounds me

I am blessed in this world
By a boy and a girl
and the arms of a woman who loves me

And I splash and I laugh
Run naked in the grass
Smell the air of the storm that's behind me

And I'm happy for a change
and it doesn't feel strange
that the world outside rests inside me

Aug 21, 1988

The clouds are more than half
And the moon is more than full
I miss you deep inside of me
Like the tidal waves that pull
I’m torn into two pieces
I hate you and I cry
I love you and I can’t forget
Or learn how to say good-bye

In my memories you’re naked
‘cause that’s the way I liked you best
With your hair spread on the pillow
And my hand upon your breast
Like babies in a cradle
In each other’s arms entwined
We spoke of lover forever
Far past the end of time

But I loved you far too selfishly
Is there any other way?
Now I drive my bike all through the night
And I’m alone most every day
Now it feels just like I'm falling
Falling all the time
But you’re not here to pick me up
So I just lie down and cry

J.  H. Webb

Scattered thoughts
shattered hearts
broken dreams
that fell apart
Tears that fell
have long since dried
love only lasts until love dies
when you feel  the pain
you wonder why
then one day
the light hits your eys
and when it does
you realize
that from the ashes a new bird flies

Jan 31/93

Full bodied soul and a spirited mind
Are vague definitions for one of your kind
No mere words could ever explain
The woman you are and the love you contain
So I hang my head but how can I complain
When I held you near me then sent you away again

Total commitment has such a high cost
Your prayers can be answered or you dreams can be lost
I've given up gambling with such dangerous stakes
And so I lay lonely in this bed that I make
So I hang my head but how can I complain
When I held you near me then sent you away again

Deep apprehensions. Once burnt twice shy
I'd reach for the moon if it weren't for the sky
No one can win who's afraid to lose
Now I know that as surely as the beauty in you
So I hang my head but how can I complain
When I held you near me then sent you away again

James H. Webb

7/18/1992*

It's one o'clock on a Friday night
and Dead Man's up again
He's cooking fries by the oven light
His eyes look cooked and strained

He knows everyone has to rest sometime
before the day is through
But he's been waiting far too long
to find someone like you

You made him feel; sometimes a giant
sometimes a common fool
Sometimes , he just needed you
to feel everything was cool

Well it's 2 am on a Sunday morn
and Dead Man's wide awake
there's something wrong; his grass is gone
and he seems to have the shakes

By stereo light he pours a drink
then just sits down and stares
his eyes are out of focus
his thoughts are cold and bare

but no one comes to comfort him
or tell him to come to bed
so he sits until the morning comes
and pounds his aching head

He knows nothing lasts forever
you told him through and through
But he's been waiting far too long
to find someone like you

You made him feel; sometimes a giant
sometimes a common fool
Sometimes ya know, he just needed you
to say everything was cool

Dec. 2, 1992*

Something slightly not completely
That's when romance is in vain
You give your all and then you fall
And then you take a chance again
No, you're not foolish - you're just human
You're not alone in this regard
Life's full of many who's hearts in small ways
Are somehow always caught off guard

Something slightly not completely
Like a blessing from above
You wait a lifetime for the one sign
That says that this time "I know it's love"
You look so foolish when she hurts you
You look so crushed by your own pride
You mumble on and ramble into
The most depressing alibis

Sometimes slightly not completely
A certain memory comes to mind
Something purely - unexpected surely
From the ravages of time
Something holy a vision solely
Floats in front of your mind's eye
A girl smiling - her eyes are shining
In the final throes of love's demise

Someone slightly not completely
Taking someone for a ride
Dances smoothly, speaking sweetly
Never seeing what's inside
Something slightly, not completely
In her manner or her style
As she sees him and she greets him
Reminds me somehow of your smile

James H. Webb

May 1998

Well she sits and she stares
And pretends that he cares
'cause if he don't then nobody will
And she'll be left alone
Until the cows have come home
And she is long over the hill

She says "he's better than nothing.
Well hell - ain't that something?"
And I say "No, I don't think it is
You see love is more than a promise
And you shouldn't have to pay homage
For the pleasure of a smile or a kiss
Take a closer look 'cause there's something you missed

She says "Maybe if I change than he will change too"
And I say "Maybe but will you still be you?"
She says "I love him too much"
And I say "Is that enough,
when the needs he fulfills are so few?"

She says "he's better than nothing.
Well hell - ain't that something?"
And I say "No, I don't think it is
You see love is more than a promise
And you shouldn't have to pay homage
For the pleasure of a smile or a kiss
Take a closer look 'cause there's something you missed

She says "It's easy to talk
But so much harder to walk
And my fears say just let it slide"
"Well I know the feeling well
'cause I've lived my own hell
And I know it does no good to hide"

She says "If I leave I'll have nothing!"
I say "No! You'll have you - ain't that something?"
And she says "No I don't think it is"
I say "Love is more than a promise
And there's a strength and inner calmness
That only comes from a love that really fits.
Take a closer look 'cause there's something you've missed*

Well the last that I heard
She took me at my word
And she left him and struck out on her own
And I hope she has learned
From the times she's been burned
That the needs that matter most are her own

jan 1-93*

You were no sweet sensation
When your fists, they began to fly
You would scream out holy incarnations
In the act of refusing to cry

And I tried to make you love you
Heaven knows how hard I tried
And my eyes told the truth of your beauty
But you always thought that they lied

Beautiful eyes
With the start of fine lines
Blue like the sky
With a softness as kind
Straight to the point
And direct in her style
Yet the heart of a child
Still lives in her smile

James H. Webb