January 23, 1993*

Tender young thighs and old cushions
Warm places to rest her sweet head
Hard sweating smells and soft fingers
And hair stretched out on the bed

There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
As pretty as any you’ve seen
There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
Reflecting a tired old dream

Ah but none of us know why she’s spinning
When in truth she is headed nowhere
Though each of us forms an opinion
We must lose as the truth comes to bare

There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
For the devil is female it's said
There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
It's pretty 'til it turns its head

There's a grace that we lose when we're aged
There's an honour we lose when we lie
There's a guilt that can tear the heart ragged
When it beds down with truth at its side

There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
And all I can do is to stare
There's a ghost in the jewellery box mirror
I know because you placed it there

There's a heart beat to count every moment
We're apart and both in despair
You cry for a love that is past, Dear
I cry for a love is still here

And what trickery has taken this anger
That has witnessed your love laying dead
and placed it full in the sunlight
where it festered and flew from my head?

James H. Webb

(from my hospital bed – Nov. 14 2017)

Over the bridge of friendship
How many time I've gone
Sometimes I'm met in the middle
Sometimes there is no one

Sometimes I am too weak to cross
Sometimes I am too strong
But crossing the bridge of friendship
That never can be wrong

Over the bridge of friendship
I've learned to heal two hearts
I've been the one most giving
And I've played the other part

I've been rude and selfish
And I've been loving and kind
But the bridge always reminds me
That I'm not alone this time

Over the bridge of friendship
I've travelled many times
Sometimes I am accepted
Sometimes I am declined

I'm not saying that I am perfect
I've had my share of pride
But I never would refuse you
On this bridge of yours and mine

So when you feel too sad or lonely
Just stop and turn around
And cross the bridge of friendship
Where you know I can be found

And I know the bridge of friendship
Will outlast me in the end
But when you take that last walk
I'll be waiting for you my friend

James H. Webb

Scarborough circa 1989

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
Raises the morning on her shoulders
Swelling between tears and laughter
She melts words into meaning
and gambles on intuition and power

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
looking back and looking forward
finds the dawn most appealing
and issues commands and warnings
to all those with the inner strength to heed them

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
smiles, and the strength of metal
and the purest of beauty
are forged anew

Into the eyes of this miraculous woman
I enter a new beginning
where wisdom lives, and moves, behind her horizons

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
becomes the centre
where all truths are issued passage
and all lies are refused

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
blends courage and compassion
into hues of fine precision
and automatic weapons

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
spreads warmth like a familiar blanket
and moves the day by her power
just as it moves her.
James H. Webb

She'll brew a *** of bliss and then she'll pour it in your cup
She'll dance around the room until the gloom is all drunk up
She's not your normal angel, boy and of that you should be glad
For she fills a parlour naked more than many girls do clad

She's an angel from Newfoundland and St. Andrews knew her well
She's certainly no Flatrock as Tickle Harbour's boys can tell
And Jackson's and Chapple's Arms they both have been in her's
She's even been to Merasheen don't tell the other girls

Her "H"s have an "H" in them and her voice a lilting sound
But if you want sincerity no better can be found
Her love's as pure as dynamite she'll blow you off the shelf
She'll make your whisker hairs stand up and your little man an elf

She's an angel now in Tor-onto, On-tar-i-ario
She moved there when her parents died and she didn't know where to go
Ah, Mississauga knows her well and so does Hamilton
But Toronto is the place to be when she is having fun

She says she works a fancy bar called the Iron Cross Cha-pel
Where pretty men come in all dressed up and cuss and kiss as well
She cannot find a boyfriend there but she has lots of dates
They give her lots of Ecstasy and tell her it's not ****

She's an angel from Newfoundland and St. Andrews knew her well
She's certainly no Flatrock as Tickle Harbour's boys can tell
And Jackson's and Chapple's Arms they both have been in her's
She's even been to Merasheen don't tell the other girls

July 2000

Almost a ballerina but
She weighs three hundred pounds
And this world just won't accept
A ballerina that's soft and round
And she doesn't eat as much as
All the skinny girls would like to think
But then she doesn't bring it up in
Someone else's kitchen sink

Oh and this world is unfair
And this world is so unkind
Well if not in its deeds
Than at least in her mind
She's become the perfect victim
Because she never tries
So instead of a happy ending
Her dreams are pushed aside

Almost a heartbeat away from
The man she'd love to love
And if there were a heaven
She'd fit him like a glove
But he doesn't notice her beauty
So ample and so rare
So she figures if your not a rake
Then he don't even care

Oh and this world is unfair
And this world is so unkind
Well if not in its deeds
Than at least in her mind
She's become the perfect victim
Because she never tries
So instead of a happy ending
Her dreams are left behind

Almost a million miles from
The woman she'd like to be
And if she could only lose some weight
She knows she'd be happy
But she reads the signs that advertise
Be a new and thinner me
And she wonders if beauty is skin deep
Or is it just skinny

(or is it something you feel inside
That some people just can't see)

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Found I didn't really have to try
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Since my friends had all said good-bye

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Thought it would be better than to cry
Man I felt alone on my birthday
Will I be so alone when I die?

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Lovely though my family may be
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
And pretend I was just 33

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Even though I knew it wouldn't last
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
and let the whole **** day just go past

Aug 22/2000

Don’t think you’re doing me a favour by keeping me company
If you don’t want to be here then I much prefer you leave
‘Cause I’ve already wasted too much time in loving you
And I don’t need your sympathy but I do deserve the truth

CHORUS:
So don't tell me love me if you don't feel it
Don't try to hold me if you don't mean it
Just let my tears flow
at least then I'll know
that I should just let go*

Loneliness is a burden that I must bear alone
It’ll take me a while to get over you but I’ll make it on my own
So please don’t pretend you care ‘cause my heart is far too real
And the way you act is contrary to the way you say you feel

CHORUS:

I’m not some fragile robin and you’re not the only man
It’s just that I love more deeply than you can understand
And I know of nothing more hurtful, to the heart and to the soul
Then to watch a love held dearly, suddenly turn so cold

CHORUS:

Walk away without a sound
Leave no footprints on the ground
Leave no trace of where you've been
Leave for reasons unforeseen

Walk away with head turned down
Grab the first ride out of town
Blame it all on someone who
Didn’t do what you wanted to

Leave no sorrow in your heart
Leave no room for it to start
Pretend that our love never lived
Pretend there’s nothing to forgive

Walk away and don’t look back
Don’t dare tremble; don‘t attack
Don’t wonder where the love has gone
Or where we both could have gone wrong

Take a plane so far away
That your memories fade to grey
Do your best to  run and hide
Don't ever stop to wonder why

Just pretend I don’t exist
Time’s erased me from your lips
Just pretend we never kissed
I never rested on your hips

Walk away without a sound
Leave no footprints on the ground
Leave no trace of where you've been
Leave for reasons unforeseen

James H. Webb

The evening was a strange one together
We drove around most of the night
We saw a star fall together
And you wished on its fast dying light
We drove away in song together
The old tunes so fresh in our heads
Our voices rang lively together
Though I realized something was dead
You said "Dance with me. Dance with me.
Dance with me. Dance."

We sang “You Are My Sunshine”
Our hearts deeply lost in our song
We sang as we drove up the mountain
Singing “May you Stay Forever Young”
We had all of our hometown below us
Spreadin’ out so far and so free
I was tempted to say my dear Donna
Let’s grab what we have and just flee
"Come on dance with me. Dance with me.
Dance with me. Dance"

We could’ve headed out west to the prairies
Taken both of our hearts on the run
We could’ve made our way south of the border
Where all lovers lie in the sun
But I just stared in silence as the car lights
And I held you as close as could be
And the distance that had grown there between us
Mere dancing could never set free
But you said "Dance with me. Dance with me.
Dance with me. Dance"

I said how can I dance when my feet are so heavy
When I feel only lead in my chest
I thought I was your one and only
Now I realize I’m just like the rest
I said, how can I dance without music
When the tune lies so dead in my heart
How can I believe life has reason
When you’ve gone and torn us apart

We drove to your mother’s in silence
I watched as you waved good-bye
And I couldn’t help wonder what you’d wished for
On that fast falling star in the sky

But if you’d said "Dance with me, dance with me,
dance with me, dance"
One more time. Then I would have
danced with you, danced with you,
danced with you, danced…
all night long
‘til the dawn

*J. H. Webb

October 26, 2009*

My love had a yearning
But my yearning had no name
So I carried that yearning
Every day through the rain

Oh the rain never stopped me,
No, it just slowed me down
‘Til I first saw your smile
Could turn things around

My love had a yearning
Now my yearning has a name
And it’s name and yours dear
Are one and the same

I’m not saying that we’ll spent
Every day in the sun
But I won’t be complaining
When my days are done

James H. Webb

Dec. 30, 1989

In the valley of the angels
In the fields of broken snow
On the mountains of the warriors
Where the devil fears to go.
In the passions unapparent
In the tears of a restless child
In the calmness of the country
In the cities growing wild

Wherever love lies sleeping, whenever hope is lost,
A gentle heart forgiving will rise up from the frost

In the heart of bitter conquests
In the nights that never end
In the lies that hold the moment
dangling from a liar’s thread.
In the eyes of well know strangers
In the looks of friends that care
In the path of eminent danger
In the light of all that’s fair

Wherever love lies sleeping, whenever hope is lost,
A gentle heart forgiving will rise up from the frost

In the never ending stories
In the poems of bitter youth
In the ravings of an old man
Who has never faced the truth.
In the silence of the villain
In the victim’s callous laugh
In the arms of lover’s smitten
In the families torn in half

Wherever love lies sleeping, whenever hope is lost,
A gentle heart forgiving will rise up from the frost

In the bending of the willow
In the arrow’s perfect path
In the breath that any minute
Could always be your last .
In the patience of the hero
In the soul that takes a stand
In the seizing of the moment
When the moment is at hand

Wherever love lies sleeping, whenever hope is lost,
A gentle heart forgiving will rise up from the frost*

*J. H. Webb

Sept. 28 1979 Brantford*

When he gets mad
he lets off steam
through the weekend holes
of his hammock
where he allows himself
room to breathe
the week away
This mental acupuncture
completed
like a solemn meditation
once a week
he holds of the threat
of Monday ‘til Friday.

James H. Webb

March 93*

Lord take me somewhere away from here
away from these sights and these sounds
Cause tonight I don't wanna be found on the streets
of this Ricochet Town

Sometimes up and sometimes down
One fine shot can turn you around
One man's smile is another man's frown
In this here Ricochet Town

Every game of life's the same
someone's loss is someone's gain
Somebody's drinking while somebody drowns
in this here Ricochet Town

There's a lady in favour in a backless gown
shattering dreams and washing them down
dancing to the rhythm and the beat and the sound
of this here Ricochet Town

Once I was ahead of the game
a man with a job and a wife and a name
but all those things got taken away
by this here Ricochet Town

So fill my glass until I've found
a way to turn this foul mood around
until I'm blind to the cruel background
of this here Ricochet Town

(an old poem that she never got to hear)*

Marry me on Valentine's
with the snow still on the ground
when the air of the year is still so fresh
that each breath falls sparkling down

Marry me on Valentine's
and dance me through the years
Fill me with your open heart
and whisper me your fears

We can grow old together
losing our figures and hair
while we try to decide
whether to talk or just stare

Marry me on Valentine's
and stay with me all of your life
I'd be at my very best
with someone like you as my wife

Marry me on Valentine's
When the air is fresh and clear
Marry me on Valentine's
It's the best time of the year

James H. Webb

Word, wisdom and worries
that's all that I offer you
Lover's lust and compassion
In hiding I leave here for you

Rubber bands and soft broken promises
Roses that wither and turn blue
Love, losing and living
waiting for dreams to come true

Images fly by like memories
Like icebergs melting in June
The man in the moon isn't happy
and all the stars fall out of tune

His hand isn't closed
But he won't let go
Of the memory of her eyes
And the softness of her soul

And he calls her in his dreams
But even when she shows
She stands just out of reach
In the arms of one he knows

And he fears she is insane
And he fears she owns his heart
And he plays her silly games
And his disappointing part

His heart isn't closed
But there's no one left at home
That he can have and hold
And the nights are dark and cold

And when she calls he runs
'til she shouts at him to crawl
But his love he can't control
And he heeds her beck'n'call

And he fears she is insane
And he fears she owns his heart
And he plays her silly games
And his disappointing part

His eyes are tightly closed
But her picture never goes
It haunts him when he wakes
And in every breath he takes

And he hears her gentle voice
In the sigh of every wind
And he forgives her in his heart
For the awful things she did

And he fears she is insane
And he fears she owns his heart
And he plays her silly games
And his disappointing part

I have no memories of the last time we touched
My finger tips are empty now; they're covered in dust
And my lips have forgotten how you tasted so sweet
You see I had to forget or to admit the defeat
The sorrows were endless and like the loneliest grave
no one came to see me; no one was that brave
And if I had of fallen those 7 floors that I'd planned
No one would have missed me - the loneliest man

All the nights were so endless and so empty and sad
And I cried all alone for any friend to be had
But no one could bare, face the endless parade
of the tears in my eyes; the lost promise we'd made
Days passed into months and months into years
Somehow I survived all my intimate fears
But if I could have completed that balcony fall
No one would have missed me - no one at all

And you weren't the only heart that I lost
There were so many friends that were part of the cost
I Still can't explain how I ever survived
Or if I even did, or if I'm still alive
Because who I was, is lost to me too
Just a memory of some other one that I knew
And if I had of closed my eyes and let go
No one would have missed me - no one that I know

J. H. Webb

2012*
I know I'm not supposed to miss you
Or keep you in my head
I'm supposed to realize that you are
Gone and as good as dead
You were gone before you left me
And our marriage was a grave
Of promises and memories
That I alone could never save

But I never could let go
As easy as you could
Seems my heart was made for loving
And yours was made of wood

I know I'm not supposed to hold you
In my memories precious arms
I should suppress the good times
And keep in mind the harm
And the pain that you bestowed upon me
When you left with my best friend
And the way your love betrayed itself
And forced an early end

But I never could let go
As easy as you could
Seems my heart was made for loving
And yours was made of wood

I know I'm not supposed to
Remember the good times
When you and I first met and how
Our every step would rhyme
How our bodies tucked together
How we shared a single mind
How all our time together
Wasn't strong enough to bind

But I never could let go
As easy as you could
Seems my heart was made for loving
And yours was made of wood


J. H. Webb

He is not yet gone
he lies sleeping
but I have planned
his death
for 2:30 pm

And I can not express my love
for him and have it understood
unless you have been through the same

Euthanasia is such a strange word for it
but at least it is light
at a time when one feels
so heavy

I accept the word for now
It draws less tears from these sore eyes
and makes the task easier
if that is possible
It is very  hard to ****
someone you love
It does not help to know
that is is for his own good
when it is not for my own good
But I have planned his death
for 2:30 pm

When he looks up at me
with those half blind eyes
I can't stop my tears
from soaking his fur
and I don't try
He deserves that much and more

A doctor will be present and
a good friend of mine will bury him
shortly after.

Mar 6, 2013

I've travelled in the rain
I've travelled in the snow
And lately if the sun would shine
I wouldn't know where to go


I've rested through the day
Slept right through the night
Cried too many times alone
And feared the morning light


Now lovers scream
Where they used to dream
And prayers go up in smoke
And love has left me,
Yes love has left me
Feeling like a joke


I've travelled in the rain
I've travelled in the snow
I've had my share of pain
And I've had my share of hope


But hope will leave you wandering
And wondering what to hell you said
But love will leave you,
Yes, love will leave you
Feeling 'bout half past dead


Yes love will grab you by the *****
Then grab you by the throat
And leave you feeling a ******* mess
Your heart a mere footnote


No don't believe what you've been told
Don’t listen to what's been said
Just remember love will leave you,
Yes love will leave you
Feeling 'bout half past dead


I shot a glass of bourbon
I shot a glass of rye
I tried to make your memory fade
Tried to will myself to die


Tried to hollow out the emptiness
Then tried to crawl inside
Tried to hide the arrow in my heart
And the sword there in my side

Now lovers scream
Where they used to dream
And prayers go up in smoke
And love has left me,
Yes love has left me
Feeling like a joke



James H. Webb

Like a lover in an empty bed
Like the shadow of a love that is dead
Like a long drink of silence
After words of such violence
Like the hollow where you once laid your head

All those long ago moments
Left stolen and homeless
Never leave me an evening of peace
Though I pray for the slightest release

Like the love that we never quite shared
'cause it felt like you weren't always there
Like the wind in the willows
Your perfume on the pillows
Or my lips on the back of your hair

And although I'm not confessing
When I count all the blessings
That time took away from me
Your face is the one that I see

Like the loss of a love come to end
Like the death of my closest of friends
Like the time that you lied
And then you denied
You had feelings you couldn't defend

All those long ago moments
Left stolen and homeless
Never leave me an evening of peace
So I pray for the slightest release

J. H. Webb

The times we had weren't many. In fact they were quite few
Yet I felt a strange connection and I think you felt it too
It was nothing I could put in words. Nothing easy to describe
Like everything I said - you knew, or felt the same inside

Neither one of us dared mention it. This union pure and true
I think that we were both afraid we'd break the spell in two
So we moved together through the night - two souls entwined as one
In a conversation of the heart - a dance of moon and sun

And when our orbits ended then the days went quickly past
I lost track of you and where you were and seldom did I ask
Now life’s moved on, years have passed and friends have come and gone
But you are still a part of me that lives in every song

J. H. Webb

May 17, 2012*

When it seems that life has left you all alone and without prayer
When you feel there is no reason to carry on 'cause no one cares
Remember I'm beside you to keep your doubts in line and
I will carry your heart. I will carry it in mine

When you are old and tired and your dreams are all but gone
When all your strength has left you and your feel you can't go on
When your fear and your anger have become too intertwined
I will carry your heart. I will carry it in mine

When you are dead and gone and the roses refuse to bloom
When the clouds are thick as thieves and the days so full of gloom
When your memory is fading from this world and from this time
I will carry your heart. I will carry it in mine

J. H. Webb

He is not yet gone
he lies sleeping
but I have planned
his death
for 2:30 pm

And I can not express my love
for him and have it understood
unless you have been through the same

Euthanasia is such a strange word for it
but at least it is light
at a time when one feels
so heavy

I accept the word for now
It draws less tears from these sore eyes
and makes the task easier
if that is possible
It is very  hard to ****
someone you love
It does not help to know
that it is for his own good
when it is not for my own good
But I have planned his death
for 2:30 pm

When he looks up at me
with those half blind eyes
I can't stop my tears
from soaking his fur
and I don't try
He deserves that much and more

A doctor will be present and
a good friend of mine will bury him
shortly after.

J. H. Webb

Mar 23, 2014 1:19am – James H. Webb*

The distance for survival
The difference of regret
The time it takes for both of us
To **** ourselves to death

The hollowness of modern times
The thighs of modern girls
The palpitations in my heart
So glad you’re in this world

The minute of prevention
The sorrow of the heart
The ticker tape of ancient times
The place the endings start

The solitude unfolding
The mystery put to rest
I think I understand it now
Why you never did your best

The shadow of refusal
Reverberates and parts
And bless its little crowning head
And bless its open heart

‘Cause through its doors I *** to rest
A gallant knight in arms
Who quickly used up all your looks
While you used up all his charms

A bridal path now broken down
A memory now erased
The tidal wave of valiant love
So brutally disgraced

There's no need to continue
But still I’ll carry on
An insult in my every breath
And a bruise in every song

The way you atacked it was bitter
The smile that you wore it was cheap
The way that you spread drew the honey
from the door of the womb for the feast

And all of my brigadeer generals
Told me how and why to attack
And they guided each wave of my missiles
Through the valleys to swarm like a pack

And I shine like an old country bulldog
In the ragged cast light of the moon
And I smile at my own demolition
'cause I'm too **** tired to swoon

And I brace my soul for the battle
And the burden keeps me on track
And I'll rest whenever I get there
'cause I know there's no turning back

And I know that the seasons are endless
and the years too quickly are past
And the songs and the hearts that we marry
We marry to replace what we lack

Ah the memories you left were sheer torture
Discarded and left there to seethe
And the words of our last conversation
Must still hang like ice from your teeth

You convinced all the jurors with visions
of why - though you killed - you are sweet
Of why it was rightful to ******
A love had become far too neat

So why does the guilt grossly linger?
Why doesn't the shame fade away?
Why does the love that you killed for
Become less important each day

Well my dear have you learned your lesson
Or will you die still afraid?
Must you take your lies and deceptions
All the way to the hole of your grave?

April 30, 1990*

Every morning when I rise
Wipe the tears from tired eyes
Look myself in the mirror and I
say I'll survive

I'll survive. I'll survive.
Through the tears that cloud my eyes
I'll survive

I tell myself that it's okay
Doesn't matter that she went away
I'll be whole again someday
I'll survive

As the moon and sun shine on
When the other one is gone
So will I, I'll carry on and
I'll survive

Old broken threads leave dangling words
and promises now sound absurd
the only truthful thing I've heard is
I'll survive

At night my sorrows burn and fray
I lie awake in slow decay
clench my fists and softly say

I'll survive. I'll survive
Though the tears may cloud my eyes
I'll survive

May 2007

Warm summer evening. Long family car ride.
Heading back from Aunt Gertie's with the moon shining bright.
Slouched in the back seat staring up at the stars
Just happy to be living while Dad drives the car.
Thinking' how much I loved him how funny he could be
He could always make me laugh and feel good about me.

CHORUS:
Memories of  Copetown, Old Binkley's Side Rd.
Our little house in the country when I was eight years old*

Summer vacation I'd walk to Inksetter's Pond
Thinking of Joanne Dallman so pretty and so blonde
Dreaming of holding her soft hand in mine
Ah but it never happened 'cause I was so ****** shy
But when I look back on days like these
I think if I'd asked her she would have been pleased

CHORUS:

Playing war in the backyard with Russ and with Steve
We'd pretend to be shot and fall down on our knees
Ah but we knew the difference you didn't **** for real
No and you didn't swear and you sure didn't steal
Sometimes we’d go fishing down at Mueller's creek
Ah but we never caught much; least not much we would keep

CHORUS:

Every year in the Autumn we'd have a corn roast
With a great big bonfire and the ones we loved most
I got to stay up late after everyone was gone
And I'd stare at the embers while Dad played a song
His harmonica drifting on the sweet evening breeze
He played "You Are My Sunshine" and I thought he meant me

CHORUS:

In the winter they'd close down the old ravine road
Where we'd toboggan for hours never feeling the cold
And when we got back home the old fire was lit
Mom would give us hot chocolate and we'd sit and we'd sip
Ah we knew how to play then. We knew how to have fun
But then we never worried where the money came from

CHORUS:

Ah now that was so many, so many years ago
Where all those years went I… I swear I don't know
But when I let the mood take me I'm back there again
With my parents, my sisters and old neighbourhood friends
and it's taken me a life time to see how lucky I was
to have such a childhood and to feel so much love

CHORUS:

Memories of  Copetown Old Binkley's Side Rd.
will always be inside me no matter how old
Memories of  Copetown Old Binkley's Side Rd.
Are more precious to me than all the diamonds and gold

James H. Webb

I always hoped my words would reach you
stretched out against space and time
I always wished my thoughts could touch you
deep in your heart and your mind
I always feared that if I'd ever see you
Time would reverse and stand still
I always feared that I'd never see you
Now I know I never will

Well life is a dream on wings that fly by
and leave you catching your breath
And hope is the fuel that you use to get there
as you fly from the east to the west
Desire's the guide that points the way further
love - the stamina that drives
Peace is the feeling you'll have when you get there
And a smile will say it's arrived

I always dreamed that you'd stand beside me
every day for the rest of our lives
I always expected and never suspected
that I could be wrong all the time
I always knew but couldn't admit that
what we had just couldn't survive
But I'm always glad every day that I'm living
that for a while we gave it a try.


J. H. Webb
Jan 13, 2014, 11:09pm

(In loving memory of my mother, Diana Rose 1921-2000)

Today is a day for tears. Today is a day to cry
For long before the sun arose, a rose began to die
A rose of strength and beauty; a rose unique and rare
For that rose she was my mother for whom I deeply cared
And her passing leaves me empty and feeling incomplete
For I'll never find another love who will love me quite so sweet

Today is a day for sorrow. So don't hide your tears away
Let them flow like her love flowed, my sisters, it's okay
For to show the world we loved her there is no better way
And to cleanse our hearts of sorrow we must begin today
Only then can we rejoice and celebrate her life
Only then can happiness overcome the pain and strife

Today is a day for tears. Today is a day to cry
For long before the sun arose A rose began to fly

J. H. Webb

Sept. 09,2000

I got the call at work on a Thursday afternoon
They said she wouldn't last long and I'd better get there soon
so I dropped what I was doing and drove as fast as I could fly
I was hoping I might see here just one more time

Just one more time
To gaze into her eyes
To tell her that I'll miss her
To hold her and to kiss her
Just One More Time

When I got there she was sleeping so I whispered in her ear
I said "Mom, it's your son, squeeze my hand if you can hear"
When I held her hand she grimaced; cause the pain was so severe
Then the nurse gave her some morphine and the grimace disappeared
So I sat down with my sisters and waited for her time to come
When she would fly like an angel as bright as the morning sun

But morning never came. She died in the night
The darkness was her shroud; my father's hand the light
I don't know where they've gone to. But I hope that they're alright
I like to think they're in a heaven, free of pain and free of strife
Cause I took them both for granted when I knew they were alive
And what I wouldn't give to see them now just one more time*

Just one more time
To gaze into their eyes
To tell them that I miss them
To hold them and to kiss them
Just One More Time

Now instead of her apartment I visit her grave
And I think of all the times I took and all the times she gave
And I think of her last living days and how she was so brave
And when I close my teary eyes I can almost see her wave
Now if there is a god above does he know what's on my mind?
Does he know I'd like to see them both Just One More Time?

Just one more time
To gaze into their eyes
To tell them that I miss them
To hold them and to kiss them
Just One More Time

March 17/93

The night was young but I was old
That summer was warm still I felt cold
When I left you, you know I had no control
Forgive me my only son

When you were born I was not young
And when you grew bigger I was too old to run
But I loved you with a passion that was second to none
Forgive me my only son

REFRAIN:
Please forgive me and forgive your self
and don't leave your heart on the shelf
Feel the beauty of the moment
and remember well the past
but look forward to the future
for as long as your days last
and forgive me my only son*

You never come to see me where I silently lay
only you sister places flowers upon my lonely grave
Do you still hold the memory of a father too old to play?
Forgive me my only son

We had no riches in our family to display
Our home was very simple in the old country ways
But you never went hungry and you smiled a lot those days
Forgive me my only son

I was there for your first step I can't be there for your last
Forgive me my only son

June 1 1978

Locked in the labour
of love and loneliness
once forgotten and twice removed
you are the hinge of my nerves
at the edge of my breakdown

Unaware of your power
of touch and smile
you back away and close behind
something forgotten, tied to my heart
tears away and bleeds.
James H. Webb

I glimpsed at the fire
Then I wanted to touch
These waves of desire
They demand far too much
My selfishness dragged me
Down to the ground
I grabbed at your heart strings
And started to pound
Prove that you love me
Prove that you still care
I wanted so much proof
I ignored the proof there

I don't know the reason; why must it begin?
Why is it so lonely when chasing the wind?

The whole of my needing
I harnessed to you
You ran away bleeding
And tore me in two
Why must I give up
All the best things I had
The rage of misfortune
so hollow and sad
pounds in my each step
And carves at my brain
The bitterness bringing
First numbness than pain

I don't know the reason; why must it begin?
Why is it so lonely when chasing the wind?

Sometimes there's an angel
Who floats over me
She smiles in your likeness
But only I can see
She wakes the wee morning
to cuddle up to me
and I hold her dearly
and as close as can be
She lays down in meadows
or oranges and green
and I open my eyes
to her beautiful dreams

Push like the wind
And bend like the willow
But don't lay your head
Alone on the pillow
Dream all you dare
Wish what you will
‘Cause you're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still


Life’s in the balance
Death’s at the wait
Sure no one can argue
It’s a delicate state
But you might as well continue
This dance and this drill
‘Cause you're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still


So keep an eye on the shoreline
And the light of the day
But don't let the child
In your heart sail away
And don't be afraid of
The other side of the hill
‘Cause you're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still


Now the baby is crying
But the old man he smiles
‘Cause he remembers walking
Her mother down the aisle
First it’s flowers in blossom
Then it’s cold winter chills
You're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still


So pack up your troubles
Then put them away
Focus on the good times
And the feelings that stay
Love everything deeply
And get your hearts fill
‘Cause you're alive for a short time
But for a long time you’re still

James H. Webb

In the momentary spaces
between the real time
I live a life as real to me
as any you could find

In the quiet between heart beats
where fear is standing still
I pretend to be the way I want
with youth, and strength, and will

In the silence of my foot steps
there dwells a voice of mine
that fights an endless battle
against what I might find

And in the endless winter
when you know the sun won't come
he appears for one brief moment
then hugs you, then is gone

And you wonder if he loves you
and you wonder if he knows
that you miss the little moments
when you two were alone.

And he wonders if you love him
and he wonders if you know
that he misses the little moments
when you two were alone.

James H. Webb

(Laura Carol Hillier - April 11, 1997 – January 20, 2016)

I have memories of a girl so full of love and living
I can still hear songs that came from a voice of woven gold
But now I see hearts that are left so broken and so shattered
They are starved of your warmth and how it touched their souls

You were an angel and in the end you were such a fighter
You were someone whom so many held so close and so dear
And in those hard times when we couldn't seem to find the rainbow
Well your bright smile was always there to light the path so clear

But what will the rain do now it doesn't have your shoulder?
How can the sun shine, even half, as bright or true?
How can the day begin when you were the light of morning?
How can the night ever end now we don't have you?

In your eyes there lived such kindness and in every word you chose
And in your grace, poise and beauty a Disney princess arose
We admired your compassion - how much you cared and let it show
We loved your love of living and treasured your heart of gold

But now so many futures are left like blown out candles
Too many journeys of walking tightropes in high winds
So many moments that will always be remembered
When in your way you touched us all and left your heart within


But what will the rain do now it doesn't have your shoulder?
How can the sun shine, even half, as bright or true?
How can the day begin when you were the light of morning?
How can the night ever end now we don't have you?*

I don't know how Hope can seem so close and yet be so     far     away
Or how the plans we make at night can change with the light of day
But when I can find no answers - your words always come to mind
"Life is a song" and love is the rhythm and mem’ries the melody line

J.H. Webb
xoxo

February 22, 1990*

Idol eyes searching through the world of the should have beens
Wonderin' why, the things you need are all the things that can't be seen

I hear the words you speak
I feel the strain in every sound you make
I hear the words you speak
You wanna get closer
but all the time you are so frightened

Idle eyes anxious to be buried alive then born again
Realize! To be free of pain you simply have to give again

Idol eyes living the ancient sorrow of a yesteryear
You wanna fly, above the ground and soar beyond your deepest fears

You never try, you think the pull of gravity will hold you here
Well who am I, to tell you that your freedom is so awfully near

I hear the words you speak
I feel the strain in every sound you make
I hear the words you speak
You wanna get closer
but all the time you are so frightened

Dec. 8, 1975*

Dear lovers,
we await your arrival
We are standing in a bus terminal
Frowns frozen on our face
Hands frozen on our watch
We are waiting in an empty home
Daily we are keeping house
Nightly we are trying to keep
your half of the bed warm

We look for you too often
in empty chairs
and old conversations
We feel sorry for ourself too often
in shaving glass mirrors
And we fear old age
when we comb the cobwebs
from vintage sideburns

The room is not at rest
even the windows miss you
the curtains refuse to open!

Dear lovers, we are lonely
We have tried everything
We have spent centuries writing
poems to you
We have wasted our life time
singing songs of you

We know you will not be back
That is why we wait for you.

James H. Webb

I can't get down to the bone
I can't get to the marrow
I live on the surface now
or I'd drowned in the sorrow

You were never really here
Just a phantom of my thighs
And I was never really wrong
'Cause you were never really right

And the stars they burn bright
Through little holes in the sky
And the distance is as endless
As the beauty of your eyes

But patience is a virtue
That you never really learned
And its winter here forever
Until your love returns

by James H. Webb

For Janet McAndrew

Your gentle spirit like Baby’s Breath
Is tarred and feathered to deep regrets
You can’t get past the pain your feeling yet
There’ll be better times

The heart must heal before it loves again
It’s hard to learn to trust a new found friend
But each step leads you closer to the end
There’ll be better times

Sometimes life can be so bittersweet
‘cause when your love-lies-bleeding at your feet
It’s easy to forget your heart still beats and
There’ll be better times

James H. Webb

Sep 1978*

She sits alone staring out the window
It's sad but it's sentimental
It's not what she sees that disturbs her
But the memory of one soft and gentle

It is twilight leaning into evening
Yet the daylight now seems to linger
As if the sunlight itself new the feeling
What it's like for the heart to be injured

And it's not the first time she's been left this way
And I know it won't be the last, 'cause it happens
Time and time again

It's the little things that destroy you
Like an empty bed in the morning
When you wake up and slowly turn over
To find you're alone without warning

And as much as I'd like to help her
There's not much I can do but to tell her
That in those days that slowly come after
Time again will bring back her laughter

She sits arms reach from a telephone
But the ringing goes unanswered
It's not me she wishes to hear from
But some one who long ago left her

I would have phoned you
But what could I have said
Dear "daughter of the underground"
Do you remember how you molested me?
And how I was taught not to think
of anything that was not pure pleasure
or pure *******  - one and the same you might say
You think I am not lonely
If I wasn’t I couldn’t write this
I wouldn’t be here alone
Poetry would be unnecessary
It’s open nights in the ball park
and the change of you I live for

J. H. Webb

Feb. 1997

To be almost saved is to be lost
Take that jouney no matter the cost
Find out who you are and what you need
To live your life as full as can be
'Cause you can fly like a seagull and still not be free
If you heart is an anchor and not a sail on the sea

You can set a destination but the winds they can change
So don't hold your hopes so firmly that you can't rearrange
You can get to any one place by so many ways
That the real journey is who you are day to day
'Cause you can fly like a seagull and still not be free
If you heart is an anchor and not a sail on the sea

Now some people's journeys will match yours in step
While others will do things that you cannot accept
Still each on must follow their own guiding star
Though some get confused and don't know who they are
Help if you can but allow them the right
to go down with their ship or to sail out of sight
'Cause you can fly like a seagull and still not be free
If you heart is an anchor and not a sail on the sea

Ah, but wisdom and words aren't enough for this trip
You need some one to help in case you should slip,
Get caught in bad weather or just lose your grip
That's why even Columbus sailed with three ships
'Cause you can fly like a seagull and still not be free
If you heart is an anchor and not a sail on the sea

Jul 10, 2001*

Little Dreams
of purple Swings
and green slides
and lullabies
Dance through your head
while your sleep
in your little bed
Darling mine
My sunshine
Daddy's little sweetness
the apple of my eye
I love you so
my tears flow
as I watch you sleep
Little Dreams
on purple wings
take off and fly

Feb. 28, 1998

Soft, alive and wandering
The sound that hit the shore
Moves her world around in it
And beats a quiet roar

Worlds of bathing light she sees
Vibrating through the haze
The pressure and the feel of it
A comfort to be praised

Everywhere the shimmering sound
That is all she knows of life
Held within her mother’s womb
So far and free from strife

Softly as a whisper will
It land upon her eyes
Her mind feeds on sensations
As endless as the sky

James H. Webb

September 21, 1996*

There’s so many things that I want fixed
But I don’t wanna wait no I want them quick
And there’s so many things I don’t understand
and I feel I should now that I‘m a man

When I reached out there was no one there
so it seemed to me that no one cared
Now your reaching out is foreign to me
Cause I never learned to just let it be

So when I holler at you don’t ask me why, you should know
I’m not shouting at you, I’m shouting at my shadow

When things go wrong I know it’s not your fault
Though my frustration brings us to a halt
It’s just a pattern I learned long ago
but I’ll get over it soon I hope
Until then I’m trusting you to pull me through
It’s not a demand - I’m just asking you
Because you’ve become so important to me
and you have the strength that we both need

So when I holler at you don’t ask me why, you should know
I’m not shouting at you, I’m shouting at my shadow

I know I misplace my anger and my love
get the two mixed up then I push and I shove
and I know I can keep too much inside
and bottle it up when I feel I could cry
And I know that’s when I should turn to you
and try to explain what I’m going through
but the past is so strong and the present so new
that sometimes I fall back on my age old views

So when I holler at you don’t ask me why, you should know
I’m not shouting at you, I’m shouting at my shadow

December 18, 1990*

I think I know what a hero is
Though life has played me the fool
A man of strength and conviction
yet himself just another man's tool
A man who's wish is so simple
I suppose it can never come true
A dream that romantics will cling to
dispite all the pain they go through

I think I know what love is
For I myself have been scorched
and though the flame it may linger
it is never again quite a torch
But still I would give to you the whole of my heart
If I thought you would ever treat it right
Yes still I would give you the hole of my heart
to fill with the bones of your night

I think I know what loneliness is
It's death's only brother in disguise
reminding us of the emptiness there
that awaits when we give up the fight
And I suppose I know what survival is
It's knowing when something is through
It's that feeling inside that though something has died
some part of it lives on in you

Dec 12, 2015

Bad news comes late at night
From a ringing telephone
No trumpet's blare, just tears are there
And they come on their own

Memories flash; hope is lost
Your stomach turns to stone
Your anger has nowhere to stand
And so you stand alone

Bad news comes like a storm at sea
When there's no sign of shore
You don't know where to turn to now
You don't even pace the floor

The endless night is all you see
There is no sign of dawn
The reason for your life is gone
Yet you must carry on

You'll never be the same again
That much you know for sure
Pain invades your ev'ry breath
And for that there is no cure

Indeed there is no end in sight
No light, no burning wood
And you won't believe me when I say
You did all that you could

And I can't change the world for you
But I would do most any task
So if there's anything you need
All you have to do is ask

James H. Webb

Jan 24 1978*

Twelve noon rolls around
the delivery man comes to the door
and you cash in on your smile.
At six o-clock supper is served
your guest says it’s a terrific meal
so you cash in on your style.
Eleven o’clock warms the bed for you
your husband lies beside you
then between you
you groan occasionally
forgetting your style
your supper is between your legs
what hunger there is left
that the delivery man
could not take care of.
Your legs are tired
you run dripping to the bathroom
you don’t even know who it is
that is dripping from you
you have served so many suppers

James H. Webb