this dark side of my mind
that i cannot leave behind
will never let me go
because i am plagued by the thought
that i am not
the person that i should be
and though i try
and smile and lie
my heart still fails me
and despite all the help
and hope
that all my friends and family give
i can't bring my self to deal with
or cope
telling them how i truly live
so i smile and say I'm fine
but truly I'm in love
with the thought of my own disaster
that i can't stop thinking of
and the saddest thing i see
is in the mirror so ugly
so terrible such a thing
it can't find love
it can't find worth
nothing, for the table, to bring
but the hardest part is figuring out how to live
this thing called a life that i would so willingly give
i wasn't told or was unaware
that i could grasp
or enclose or ensnare
the possibility of happiness
the feeling i feel i have failed to truly feel
i feel i haven't felt many things that are really real
my happiness is the one thing my darkness is able to steal
i must find a way to fight it
or i will never truly heal