Look!

See the multitude of orbs
of varying
              sizes
                   shapes
                       and colors

There are beads as well.

This is a formal complaint to one Cupid
on behalf of the population of earth.

We find that you've become somewhat,
how can we put it mildly....
      unsavory
ever since you started drinking.  We've
found that you have not been taking
your job seriously at all since that time

We were understanding at first.  Your
job?  It's not an easy one.  It tolerates
almost no failure, and requires both
physical and mental capacity that is
beyond what most of us can spare.

However...we feel that the alcohol is
affecting your judgement and character
in a way that we can no longer accept.
Below, we've listed the particularly
heinous abuses of your power


1.  Taking bets on what you can make people fall in love with.  John is now smitten with a cactus while Jenny can't stay away from the inflatable Santa Claus on the Morgans' lawn.
2.  Having very attractive women fall in love for your...erm...personal pleasure.  That's just offensive
3.  Having members of the same family fall in love.  The vulgarity of it all is just appalling!  It's an ****** epidemic!
4.  Shooting your arrows at Rhinoceroses and then laughing as they charge a poor unsuspecting person is not funny.
5.  Likewise, shooting an unsuspecting person and having them fall in love with a Rhinoceros who doesn't reciprocate is equally unfunny
6.  Last, but not least...Please fix the Republican Candidates.  Mitt Romney and Rick ******* are trying to get married next week.  While I'm happy that they are now "for" gay marriage, this cannot be tolerated.


So?  Do you have anything to say for
yourself?  Is that alcohol I smell on your
breath?  You don't even care, do you?
Well...we have no choice but to revok---OW!

Oh dear.

What a wonderful day, this Valentine's day
When the young couples get together to say
How much they adore and cherish each other
Kisses  are  currency  for  afternoon  lovers
My only problem, and forgive me the question
Why only 24  hours  for romantic expression?

You have every day in a year to show her she's special
So choosing just one strikes me as quite artificial...

Do you care as much for her as you have portrayed?
I'm thinking not.

You just want to get laid.

You know...
Here's the thing.
I always felt that I had
a good head on my shoulders
right up until the point that I met you.
You took it off my body and you drop kicked
it into space where it's now floating somewhere just
outside of Jupiter's grasp.  The rest of me remains bound
to the gravity of the earth, but my head?  It's in orbit.
You make me see stars with your heavenly body.
Your eyes are black holes from which there is
no escape.  You've gone supernova, my love,
and I'm basking in the gamma rays of
your affection.  It's a good burn.  I'm
gasping for air, but it isn't due to
lack of oxygen.  You steal my
breath from me. It's OK,
though.  You are truly
out of this world,
and now I'm
with you
at last
.

Let's play word association, brain

Sure

Anger

Carrots

Vegetables

Parachute Pants

MC Hammer

Sub Prime Mortage

Are you even trying?

Nicolas Cage.  Oh wait...that one actually made sense

You can be an ******* sometimes

Says the guy playing word association with himself

...Touché

*Lenny Bruce

He owned books on many subjects
leather bound, with complex concepts
on which he'd ponder and reflect

He had it all, in some respects.

He could lecture quantum physics,
English literature and economics
He was renowned in academics

Though many found him quite eccentric

He explored the world only to find
That there's more to life than a brilliant mind
That there was a piece of him...undefined

See, He had never loved. He'd never pined

He knew all the math, knew all equations
He'd been to every corner of every nation
He'd learned 28 languages, knew every translation

But he was distraught by this realization

The pain he felt was too great to bear
He sank into the deepest and darkest despair
His heart was in need of dire repair

Finding love was his only prayer

He bumped into her by happenstance
and what began as an ephemeral glance
became a sucker punch from romance

She thought he was sweet, so she gave him a chance

That's when the world's smartest man finally learned how to dance

Little Jack Horner
On the street corner
His eyes are empty and gray
He hates to bother
but could you spare a dollar?
Everyone has debts that need paid